Bit of Advice please

[Z(ombie)fan]

i cant really help ( and beyond that, few people fit in the bubble of traits that make a firendship formable, we're like the hawaii white nerd web or something >.>)

but i do say this: some frakking anoying shit has happened to purely because im a shy little (hah,6 ft) twerp.

[sub] damn you AS! you minipulative ***** [/sub]

 

[Kiriona]

Don't act like it's a big deal and it won't be. If you act casual and cool with it, chances are it won't be a problem.

Just look at the media. They exercise this all the time. 'There was an attack on the White House today by religious fanatics, OH BUT PARIS HILTON GOT AN ASS JOB TODAY! OH GOD THE TRAUMA SHE MUST HAVE GONE THROUGH! HEAR THE FULL STORY AT 9!'

 

[sketch_zeppelin]

really the longer you go about hiding who you are the harder life is going to be. I doubt your friends will be as weird'd out as you think (unless they've expressed not likeing gays and bi's) and your folks will come around.

 

[Raikov]

I am bisexual, and I'm a guy, so it's not the cool kind of bisexual either, but I'm fairly sure that my parents will accept it if I tell them.(eventually)

I'm afraid, though, if I come out to my friends, then they'll all get scared that I like them and I'll lose my relationship with them (most of them are like family to me), and that the people who don't know me very well won't even take me seriously, thinking that I'm just doing it to get attention (I'm sure some of the posters on this forum will think the same).

Any advice you escapists could give me on this subject would be very helpful.

Just tell them, if anyone has a problem with it they're obviously not mature/sure enough about their own sexuality. I've got a male bisexual friend, and he's treated like any friend of mine. It's not really a big deal, you just happens to fancy guys sometimes.

Oh, and why would they get scared if you like them? I know I'd be flattered...

 

[Raikov]

crap, double-post...

 

[BonsaiK]

I am bisexual, and I'm a guy, so it's not the cool kind of bisexual either, but I'm fairly sure that my parents will accept it if I tell them.(eventually)

I'm afraid, though, if I come out to my friends, then they'll all get scared that I like them and I'll lose my relationship with them (most of them are like family to me), and that the people who don't know me very well won't even take me seriously, thinking that I'm just doing it to get attention (I'm sure some of the posters on this forum will think the same).

Any advice you escapists could give me on this subject would be very helpful.

Obviously, they have no reason to be paranoid or to shun you. As a hetero guy, having another guy ask you out is the same as having a girl who you're not interested in ask you out. You just tell them "I'm not interested, we can still be friends though". End of story. If they're real friends, they will see that.

It's probably worth coming out. You'll find out who is really on your side and who is just an asshole. And as for people who don't know you very well... meh, who cares what they think anyway...

 

[Mechsoap]

I am bisexual, and I'm a guy, so it's not the cool kind of bisexual either, but I'm fairly sure that my parents will accept it if I tell them.(eventually)

I'm afraid, though, if I come out to my friends, then they'll all get scared that I like them and I'll lose my relationship with them (most of them are like family to me), and that the people who don't know me very well won't even take me seriously, thinking that I'm just doing it to get attention (I'm sure some of the posters on this forum will think the same).
Any advice you escapists could give me on this subject would be very helpful.

they properly know or not, you can open for those you belive wich your sexuality wouldent hinder your friendship, i have a friend i known for atleast since i was 3 and hes gay and i dont have a proplem with that

 

[Little Duck]

Mate, when I told my mum I was stragiht, she threw a party. But then again, she is a massive homophobe.

Right your situation. If you tell them and they don't accept you then fuck 'em. YOu are who you are, they need to accept that. Hiding the truth isn't the way to build up relationships. If asked, say it as you would anything else and say what feels right. You'll be fine.

 

[Legion]

If your friends wont accept you because of this, they aren't friends. As cliche as that sounds, its true.

As for your family, I'm really not sure how to bring it up to them. Do you have proof that they wont be happy with this?

I think they'll be surprised (my family), but their pretty accepting, and I'm moving out soon anyways if they for some reason go completely insane, but with my friends, I've known most of them all my life and though the "they're not really your friends if they don't accept you" is morally right,I don't think it'll be much consolation if all of them get weirded out, and don't talk to me. ( thank all of you guys btw )

The consolation would be that you are better off without them. It would suck losing friends but if they can't accept you for who you are (especially considering there is nothing wrong with it) then you have simply learnt that you can do better.

 

[xHipaboo420x]

Sorry, mate, but that what the real general consensus is. While liberal politicians battle it out with the church, man makes up his own mind in the streets. Wishing for an all accepting society? An adolescence we can't afford. As long as something can be labelled it can be hated. Believe me it is labelled and it is hated.

I really don't get where you're coming from, I really don't. If you're for LGBT equality, why not start it yourself? The change starts in the hearts and minds of normal people. You seem to have a lot of misconceptions about the whole thing: you speak like you went to school in the Deep South in the 1950's, and are just indoctrinated against anything that isn't white, Christian and heterosexual. I also think you're coming on a bit strong: in the modern age it takes a true bigot to "hate" someone just because they're different, I thought we'd largely evolved beyond this in the developed world. Sure, you could accuse me of being 'sheltered' or unaccustomed to the way the world works, but you'd be dead wrong. I've seen the prejudice, and I've also seen the context. It has nothing to do with 'liberal' or 'conservative', 'church' or 'the streets', it's just about how one individual sees the world, something that takes nothing short of the breaking of said individual to change.

 

[Hugh Mann]

I am bisexual, and I'm a guy, so it's not the cool kind of bisexual either, but I'm fairly sure that my parents will accept it if I tell them.(eventually)

I'm afraid, though, if I come out to my friends, then they'll all get scared that I like them and I'll lose my relationship with them (most of them are like family to me), and that the people who don't know me very well won't even take me seriously, thinking that I'm just doing it to get attention (I'm sure some of the posters on this forum will think the same).

Any advice you escapists could give me on this subject would be very helpful.

Hugh, What exactly is your age?

Sorry I was so late in replying, I'm 18, about to graduate.

 

[Hugh Mann]

I wasn't aware that there was a cool kind and a not cool kind of bisexuality. Anyways, if your friends are really there for you, you may as well tell them. Do it casually, as a part of who you are because anything else likely will look very weird. As stated by others, if they really are there for you, your sexual orientation should not matter when it comes to friendship. Period.

If someone can't accept who you are, then they aren't there for you.

There is a group of girls at my school who call themselves bisexuals, I always see them at parties making out while the guys hoot at them and encourage them, though I'm sure it won't work the other way around.

Thank you very much for all the advice everybody, you've all got a lot of good points, and I'm still sort of muddled but I defiantly feel better about the situation, and I'm gaining a sense of blind optimism, whatever happens.

EDIT: Sorry Double post

 

[JonnoStrife]

Sorry, mate, but that what the real general consensus is. While liberal politicians battle it out with the church, man makes up his own mind in the streets. Wishing for an all accepting society? An adolescence we can't afford. As long as something can be labelled it can be hated. Believe me it is labelled and it is hated.

I really don't get where you're coming from, I really don't. If you're for LGBT equality, why not start it yourself? The change starts in the hearts and minds of normal people. You seem to have a lot of misconceptions about the whole thing: you speak like you went to school in the Deep South in the 1950's, and are just indoctrinated against anything that isn't white, Christian and heterosexual. I also think you're coming on a bit strong: in the modern age it takes a true bigot to "hate" someone just because they're different, I thought we'd largely evolved beyond this in the developed world. Sure, you could accuse me of being 'sheltered' or unaccustomed to the way the world works, but you'd be dead wrong. I've seen the prejudice, and I've also seen the context. It has nothing to do with 'liberal' or 'conservative', 'church' or 'the streets', it's just about how one individual sees the world, something that takes nothing short of the breaking of said individual to change.

I am not actually all for LGBT rights, I am a white male from Australia, and over here you are allowed to have any opinion whatsoever. My beliefs, however frowned upon by the great USA, stand that you are either gay or straight. You should choose one and stick to it, not muddying the waters of both pools. Sorry, but this is the major view of white cultures, we are homophobic, racist and sexist. We are making progress on sexism and racism but Homosexuality is still opposed by the largest, most powerful organization on the world; The Church. The Christian church is a very relevant and influential player on the international stage. As such, the way one individual sees the world can be changed without "breaking said individual". Subtly we are all shown ways to act and conform from birth, organizations with strong beliefs see this and thus they try their hand at guiding subconscious. If implemented later in life the effects are diminished, yes, but not removed.

 

[phANT1m]

just keep it in and dont tell anyone.

 

[Jaythulhu]

I'm more curious to know why you feel the need to "come out" ? Surely it's no one's business other than yours?

Still, this is allegedly 2010, so unless your friends are all god-bothering freaks who believe that glenn beck is the new messiah, I can't see any reason they'd have an issue with it.

If they do, then it's a sad and pathetic reflection on them, and you're better off without them, as it'll let ya replace them with some non-douchebags.

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Ya know, I really did want to try and turn a new page. To stop trolling and having a go at people, but I'm sorry, I have to speak my mind in response to this stupidity I just read. I almost feel bad about it after my promise to the spirits of my fallen friends, but I believe they'd say similar, tho likely laced with expletives and harsh insults.

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I am a white male from Australia, and over here you are allowed to have any opinion whatsoever. *snip, but i'll get to the rest of that rubbish shortly*

You're an embarrasment to Australians, champ. How dare you think you can speak for the majority of us, let alone the majority of white people worldwide? Your arrogance is astounding. Aside from being full of ignorant nonsense that makes us out to be the backwater douchebag country that many think we are, you're entirely incorrect.

MOST white australians don't give two shits about whether someone is gay, straight, bi or asexual. We're busy, we have stuff to do and lives to lead. Whether johnny and billy or betty and mandy down the road share a bed is so far from our list of concerns that it's a non-issue.

Also, who really gives a flying fuck if some cross-dressing, hypocritical, paedophile godbotherers think that homosexuality is bad? Here's one for ya that the "religious" crowd likes to ignore, found in the bible directly before the condemnation of homosexuals, Leviticus 21:18, as taken from the standard American Bible handed out across the entire country:

"For no one who has a defect shall approach: a blind man, or a lame man, or he who has a disfigured face, or any deformed limb"

The list of people considered unclean and unholy before God continues on and on and on like the duracell bunny until pretty much only the mythological german Aryans are left. I've seen wheelchair-bound priests, priests with disfigured faces, deformed limbs and vision problems. According to the bible, they're all unworthy before God and may not approach places that He has made holy, yet there they are, saying mass, openly defying the words of the God they claim to serve.

If the church can so happily ignore this law of God's, then they can start ignoring the other stupid, pointless, ignorant and irrelevant "laws" that the (non-christian, by the way) part of the bible offers.

 

[Outright Villainy]

My best friend came out in a similar way last year, and I was completely fine with it. It's been said again and again, but if they're real friends they shouldn't care. Just don't make a big deal of it, tell them individually, almost in passing as part of a conversation. Also a great way to open the conversation. "so I'm bi by the by..."