Hooded-hyena said:
All right, I recently asked my parents for a copy of Assassian's Creed 1 and Batman: Arkham Asylum and a $300 PS3. My parents were very hesitant for AC, noticing the M rating. I explained to them that, 'You do more stealth and unraviling the plot more then you do the killings." to which they completely agreed to try and get for me. They completely understood, and my dad said he'd like to play which never happens. Last time he played a videogame, it was my N64 in 1999!
Today I woke up, showered, got all gussied up for church, and went out for breakfast only to have my parents sitting sternly at the table with a Kmart newspaper ad in front of them. They immediatly bombarded me, accusing me of wanting a M rated game and how I should be ashamed as a Christian. I quickly flipped into the ad and saw a offer for AC2, which cost $60 or $70 or so. I told them directly that AC1 was only $20 right now, this was the second one. They called BS on me, saying they would'nt even consider it now. I remember losing my cool, towering over my dad screaming " YOU HAVE MOVIES THAT CURSE MORE THEN THE FUDGIN' GAME! AND YOU ARE CALLING ME A WORSE CHRISTIAN?!?" My dad promptly yelled back at me, saying that I was going to be punshied for even saying that sentance, and I wasant going to get any food for the day and not get any presents. Not even caring, I stormed to my room and cried. Now they are treating me worse then they normally do, glaring at me and calling me it or thing. So as a logical Escapest member to another, is there any advice one can give me for this? It'll be a great help if you can.
EDIT: I'm sorry, I should have cleared some things up. They had asked me specifically what I wanted for Christmas, and I have no ways of collecting money. No allowence, no job because I'm too young, and I've been around my neighbour hood. Nobody wants me to clean their lawns or anything.
tl;dr at the bottom...
Being a Christian myself and a parent of two 10 and 12 year old boys, I think I have a bit of experience in this department. What many here have said about your parents only needing to give you the bare minimum legally is 100% completely true. Everything else that they give you is out of their own benevolence and because they want to give those things to you.
My boys know the limits and boundaries that they're allowed to have because I've clearly laid it out for them. They know that they have a bed time and that they are responsible for going to bed at that time themselves. They know what is expected of them with school, that they should strive to achieve certain grades. They know that talking in a certain manner is unnacceptable, especially when it comes to disrespect, to myself, my wife or each other.
Now, it unfortunately sounds like your parents are being a bit unreasonable with this, but one thing that I've learned, is that one persons's side is never enough to truly make any judgement. I always try very hard to be fair when I discipline my boys, but quite often, especially in the heat of anger, they feel I'm being unjust. I always tell them why they are being punished, reminding them of the expected behavior, the reasons why the behavior is expected and why the behavior that they showed was unacceptable.
Your parents may have been caught by surprise when they actually did some research on the game or the like and found something they don't like. Once they found that information, they may have felt mislead by your "toning down" of the description. Now, one thing I find interesting, is that on your profile it says that you are around 19 years old. That's quite a stretch to say that, if you are in fact 19, that you can't get a job yourself. I moved out when I was 17 from the same kind of parents you are describing. (they wouldn't let me play Diablo 2 because there were demons and sorcery, :cough: besides the fact that you were FIGHTING AGAINST DIABLO THE LORD OF DESTRUCTION, anyway) You should count yourself lucky that your parents even allow you to have access to the internet, as my boys are very limited in their social networking. (especially because of their age) The online games they play are limited to pre-selected chat, they are not allowed to post on forums and they have very limited use of their cell phone. They have rules, and they obey them or deal with the consequences.
One thing that raises my hackles with my boys above all else is when they lie to me. If I catch them in a lie, which is quite easy to do as they aren't very experienced in it, they bring down much more punishment upon themselves then if they had told the truth to begin with. At times I've even let them off the hook entirely with just a 30 second lecture about what they did and why they shouldn't have, sending them on their merry way when they've flat out told me the truth.
If you parents feel the same way, and felt that they were in essence lied to, if not only mislead, then that could be a big reason why they are acting the way that they are. Now, I don't condone what they're doing with calling you names, completely ignoring you, turning up the TV to quiet you and tearing up your attempts to communicate through other means. That is completely and totally wrong in every way shape and form. Unfortunately, people do stupid things when they are angry or disappointed in someone. I always try my hardest to wait until I've cooled down when my boys have done either of those things to me to assign punishments so that my emotion isn't clouding my judgement.
I would also like to bring to your attention, being a Christian myself, is that the Escapist is not exactly the most reasonable place to bring this kind of situation, especially when religion is involved considering the number of anti-theists here. I'm not surprised with many of the responses you've gotten here, being jaded and cynical as they are. Do you have a youth pastor that you could speak to? Perhaps a peer in the church that you can confide in? Mainly, your parents may just need time to calm down as the feeling of misleading and disappointment is probably just too much right now. It could also depend on what denomination you and your parents are. Some denominations are much more legalistic in their thinking and base their religion on the "rules" of Christianity instead of the love of Christ.
Also, please don't try to take the loss of a "thing" so hard. There will always be other "things" in this life. My youngest is very frugal with his money (they only get allowance for good grades which they get every trimester and instead do chores to earn game time during the week and weekends on their Wii and computer) and can throw quite the tantrum if he doesn't get what he wants. Unfortunately, that selfishness is something my wife and I are trying to break him of. Granted he's only 10 years old and has a lot to learn about life and disappointment, but it's never too young to introduce ways of coping with disappointment to an individual.
All in all, it sounds like both you and your parents are wrong in your own way. Your parents shouldn't be treating you as they are, but I understand that they are probably frustrated, disappointed and flat out angry with you. Though that doesn't justify their actions, it does give some credence to why they feel as they do. You on the other hand, are right that AC isn't that big of a deal, that is of course if you're 19 as your profile says. Heck even if your were a bit younger, I wouldn't really care myself. My kids though, aren't allowed to watch certain things or play certain things. Granted they're quite young and I don't want to have some little punk 10 or 12 year old XBL loudmouth being one of my sons.
Though they have an understanding of fake violence and the like, they still aren't mature enough to really deal with it, and I don't need them being completely desensatized to it by the time they're in their teens. Heck, their grandmother let them watch Child's Play once and the damn movie terrorized my younger for years to where he now sleeps with the covers over his head even though it doesn't scare him anymore. It's become a learned behavior.
Anyway, enough ramblings of an old fart of a gamer. Just know that this isn't the end of the world and though your parents are being unreasonable, give them some time. Also, stop trying to mislead them to further your gains. Flat out tell them next time, it's an assassination game. Yes, there's quite a bit of killing. You actually stalk your prey for quite some time before completing the kill. This is probably where thier disappointment has stemed from. I can see both your points as I've been in both places. (a child who has overbearing parents who blow a "videogame" out of proportion, and a parent who has their child's best interests in mind and wants to protect them and help guide their decisions, as any
good parent would)
tl;dr
Both you and your parents have points. Try to be more thorough with your explinations of the game later so that they don't feel mislead. Let your parents cool off so that their reaction to you isn't fueled by disappointment and anger. Responding to your parents in a disrespectful tone will do nothing to help further your argument and will cause them to shut down and enter "I'M THE PARENT AND YOU'RE THE CHILD" mode. Try to find an outside source that doesn't sway one way or the other or get opinions from both viewpoints at least. Lastly, know that it's a video game. More will come. More have gone. You won't die if you don't get to play it, especially since you'll eventually be able to get it with enough time. Lastly, if you really are 19 (as your profile says) you are not too young to go get a job. My first job was at the ripe old age of 14.
(the first thing I did when I moved out was go buy Diablo 2 and play the crap out of it, HA! Take that Mom and Dad! errr...)
).
