Born gay, Chose to be gay, Can't it be both?

[ReservoirAngel]

It's impossible to choose what sex you find yourself attracted to. You can CHOOSE, for example, to just have sex with dudes, but that choice is either you kidding yourself for some reason, or it's just you choosing to because you already are gay.

Trying to explain this clearly...you can be attracted to girls, but if you 'choose' to be gay, you can't force urself to be attracted to men. and if you already ARE attracted to men, then you were already bi or gay, without having chosen it.

From my own experience as being gay, I can safely say I didn't have ANY say in the matter whatsoever. from the moment i became aware of attractions towards other people on a sexual level, it was always guys.

 

[Woodsey]

The only reason you would "choose" to be gay would be if you chose to act upon your gay feelings, in which case you haven't chosen to be gay at all, just to follow through on what's out of your control.

 

[Mcupobob]

The Closes thing I've heard to "choosing to be gay" is Gay for pay. Other than that I think people are born with their sexuality, you can't choose who your attracted to. As for Gay for pay the men or women doing that aren't really attracted to each that way, they're just playing a part for money.

 

[Rachel317]

I don't doubt that there are some people who would try both before settling, or different lifestyles before settling in to one.
Personally, I wouldn't necessarily be against a relationship with another woman, even though I consider myself to be straight; I don't think it matters what gender a person is if you truly love them.

However, to be actually considered gay...scientifically, it's a chemical imbalance in the brain, we all know this. It's "not normal" in the sense that "normal" is thought of as straight. So, in most cases, it's not a choice to BE gay, you just are.

Like I said, I also think that some people probably choose this lifestyle because it suits them. I'm not saying every single homosexual person CHOOSES to be gay, but I think a lot of factors play in peoples' views of homosexuality, especially in modern times when it's becoming increasingly more acceptable to be gay.

As people above me have said, you can't choose who you find attractive. As I say, I'm straight, but there are some women I know I'd turn temporarily lesbian for. That's not to say I'm CHOOSING to be bi-sexual (I'm not, but I suspect some people might find my argument more understandable if I say this; I know what I mean, not everyone else does! ), but...if it happens, it happens.

 

[loc978]

Think of genetic gayness as a 2-dimensional slider bar. Only the end 10% of each side are "completely gay" or "completely straight". For that 20% of the population, there is no choice. For the rest, there is.

Unpopular, uncomfortable view... but it's closest to what we currently know about the subject.

 

[The Seldom Seen Kid]

You can't choose to be of a certain type of sexual preference, it doesn't work that way, you can only chose to accept it instead of forcing the opposite upon yourself.

 

[fullbleed]

I don't think someone nesecarilly 'born' gay, you don't get gay babies. But neither do I think sexuality is simply a choice someone can make. Our sexuality comes through from our social and domestic experiences growing up that define our tastes and personality. It's learnt behaviour, nurtured, and it can't just be changed. It's ingrained in our very character. I like fat girls, it's not something I chose to do, I can't help it if I have a physical attraction.

 

[mr_rubino]

Think of genetic gayness as a 2-dimensional slider bar. Only the end 10% of each side are "completely gay" or "completely straight". For that 20% of the population, there is no choice. For the rest, there is.

Unpopular, uncomfortable view... but it's closest to what we currently know about the subject.

By that you mean you've taken the rather old idea of the Kinsey Scale and completely misunderstood it?

 

[Eri]

I see a lot of people on both sides arguing if people were born gay or chose to be gay themselves. What I don't see is anyone saying both camps are just as valid as the other. Rarely, other animals beside human have exhibited gay behavior before, clearly showing it can be a rare natural occurrence. But we humans also have free will, meaning you can, indeed, choose to be gay. I'm sure both types of gays exist, they're equally valid. So why does it need to be one or the other?

First of all in the entire scope of humanity the majority of people are heterosexual so your argument about other animals is a bit invalid. Also there is such a thing as animal homosexuality.

And no, you cannot chose to be gay. You cannot chose to find a man or a women sexually attractive you are born with the inclination.

But, man does have the free will to perform whatever acts he wishes

Free will means you can choose to do gay acts, but you can't chose to be gay.

Did you even read what I wrote? I said being gay in animals is rare.

 

[Nautical Honors Society]

I see a lot of people on both sides arguing if people were born gay or chose to be gay themselves. What I don't see is anyone saying both camps are just as valid as the other. Rarely, other animals beside human have exhibited gay behavior before, clearly showing it can be a rare natural occurrence. But we humans also have free will, meaning you can, indeed, choose to be gay. I'm sure both types of gays exist, they're equally valid. So why does it need to be one or the other?

First of all in the entire scope of humanity the majority of people are heterosexual so your argument about other animals is a bit invalid. Also there is such a thing as animal homosexuality.

And no, you cannot chose to be gay. You cannot chose to find a man or a women sexually attractive you are born with the inclination.

But, man does have the free will to perform whatever acts he wishes

Free will means you can choose to do gay acts, but you can't chose to be gay.

Did you even read what I wrote? I said bein gay in animals is rare.

Yes, but obviously you misunderstood what I wrote.

Anyway, you were arguing against homosexuality as a natural inclination by saying that homosexuality is rare in animals and not so rare in humans. But I refuted your argument by saying that in the scope of all humanity homosexuality isn't all that common.

 

[Ampersand]

*sigh* No, think about what you're saying. Can you decide to be gay? It's a rhetorical question, of course you can't. You don't make any kind of decision with regard to who you are attracted to.

This concept is so f-ing simple it baffles me that people still struggle with it.

 

[Nieroshai]

Many people become gay because society has either pressured them to do so or made choosing to be so seem preferable. Whether one can be born gay is yet to be 100% proven, but I don't disbelieve either. Also, homosexuality, even chsen homosexuality, is a psyschological difference between them and heterosexuals. It is more than a simple choice like which flavor of ice cream is better. I feel either I was born bicurious(/bisexual?)(I have been since puberty) or being in an abusive household made me want to be what my father hated. I have no idea. But I've been effeminate since I was a kid and only since my dad died did I start changing, so I guess I believe I was like that because I hated his hate of gays. But I'm still embarrassed that I find myself attracted to guys on occasion.

 

[automatron]

Do this little experiment.
List a genre of music you like.
Now list a genre of music you hate.
Tell yourself that you now will only listen to the music you hate, and you will like it.
It's not easy is it?
In the same way you can't choose what type of music/ film/ game/ or food you like, you can't choose your sexuality

 

[thublihnk]

Actually, homosexual behavior has been proven to be just as natural in wild animals as in humans. Not really 'rare' at all.

Also: not a single gay or lesbian person will tell you they 'chose' to be gay. The idea that it's a choice is a farce and it's used to justify ignorant and hurtful behavior toward something that is completely natural.

 

[Canid117]

If they are straight and just choose to be gay then they are not gay they are just bisexuals who don't swing for the home team as often.

 

[Dana22]

Did you even read what I wrote? I said being gay in animals is rare.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_in_animals

A new review made in 2009 of existing research showed that same-sex behavior is a nearly universal phenomenon in the animal kingdom, common across species.

 

[sheic99]

I'm just going to leave this tidbit of information here for people to think about.

Approximately 50% of identical twins share the same sexual orientation.

 

[kickyourass]

I don't think it works that way Jiraiya, from my perspective at least, it comes down to what you're attracted to. If you're attracted to men then you're attracted to men, sure you can CHOSE to date women if you really, really want to, but you will still be attracted to men, and therefore still gay/straight (Unless you're also attracted to women, in which case you're Bisexual and this doesn't really apply to you I guess).

 

[spartan1077]

Actually, a lot of animals show homosexual behaviour. But beside that point, you wouldn't be gay. You'd be pretending to like the same sex while you don't.

 

[Nieroshai]

I see a lot of people on both sides arguing if people were born gay or chose to be gay themselves. What I don't see is anyone saying both camps are just as valid as the other. Rarely, other animals beside human have exhibited gay behavior before, clearly showing it can be a rare natural occurrence. But we humans also have free will, meaning you can, indeed, choose to be gay. I'm sure both types of gays exist, they're equally valid. So why does it need to be one or the other?

First of all in the entire scope of humanity the majority of people are heterosexual so your argument about other animals is a bit invalid. Also there is such a thing as animal homosexuality.

And no, you cannot chose to be gay. You cannot chose to find a man or a women sexually attractive you are born with the inclination.

But, man does have the free will to perform whatever acts he wishes

Free will means you can choose to do gay acts, but you can't chose to be gay.

Did you even read what I wrote? I said bein gay in animals is rare.

Yes, but obviously you misunderstood what I wrote.

Anyway, you were arguing against homosexuality as a natural inclination by saying that homosexuality is rare in animals and not so rare in humans. But I refuted your argument by saying that in the scope of all humanity homosexuality isn't all that common.

I think there are some exceptions to the rule, because every male dog I've owned and every male dog my friends have ever owned, has tried to hump anything with legs, be it another male dog or another species or inanimate objects. I don't know if this is just a domesticated dog thing, but there it is. Also, yes, documented homosexuals in humanity are rare, and if statistics say app. 10%, remember that this is in a +-3% margin of error. Could be 13%, could be 7%. And could also be skewed by the poll being taken in a population where homosexuality is known to be common or rare, depending on how you want to interpret. Take a poll of San Francisco and claim it to be the national average, and one would think more people are homosexual than (choose ethnic minority).