Boyfriend is Mad! Need Some Advice.

[ProtoChimp]

It has to be done, and I mean he's the ***** not you.

 

[MiracleOfSound]

He has a gamer girlfriend and this upsets him?

My recommendation: A swift kick in the nuts.

 

[Kuilui]

he sounds like an emotionally stunted angry spoiled fourteen year old. Going through the whole nobody understands me phase that he should have grown out of years ago. Obviously I don't know the guy so I could be way off base but from what you have said it seems that way. Really though the guy sounds like an annoyance, I don't think I would want to be around him if I was you. Doesn't sound like dating material. I'm sure you can find someone better. If you don't want to dump him then may I suggest counseling?

 

[Tom Roberts]

This isn't the first time and we tried talking. But every time we do it's other things that come up. It's like he wants me to stop playing WoW and all games together, he always wants to stop playing games too. It doesn't happen. When I ask him why he gets so mad he says I'm being childish and that I wouldn't understand. It's never one straight answer. He mostly answers a question with a question. Or he doesn't wanna talk about his feelings at all.
He strongly hates PC games. He wants nothing to do with them. I talked to him about getting the a 2nd console ( he gave his away to his brother before he moved in) but he just sighs at the idea of buying 2 games every time. When we play games that are co-op he complain about the split screen. Or he just doesn't want to play that game. We loved playing little big planet together but now he just wants to play CoD or Star wars the Force Unleashed. I really do miss playing CoD, Gears, and Halo with him but he also wants to play with online friends. With Black Ops coming out we are buying 2 games. I'm getting the 360 one and he's getting the PS3. All because he has more friends on the PS3 to play with.

OK so let's see
1) Does not want to talk about the problem. Reasons are unarticulated.

That which likely means they are selfish or foolish or both. Also possible that they are not even understood rationally by him.

2) Does not like PC games. Reasons unknown

This seems odd. Isn't a game pretty much a game? Regardless of PC vs. Xbox vs. Nintendo vs. Intellivision)

3a) Does not want you to game at all, in order for him to quit gaming altogether as well(?) Like wanting to quit smoking as a couple?

3b) Wants to game online with his friends, but have you not do so?


If 3a is right that's?a little weird, but nothing you can't work through. Though you would need to decide if it?s something you want to sacrifice at this point in the relationship. I'm pretty sure you're not interested in stopping gaming of your own accord.
3b though is a BIG, BIG warning flag. If that is, in fact what he would like to have happen, run far, run fast and never look back. Not because it's immature (though it is) but insisting on it in this passive-aggressive bitchy I'll-leave-you-if-you-don't way is, in fact a hallmark of an abuser. What he'd really like is for you to sit around the console, while he plays watching him kick virtual ass, cheering on his accomplishments, getting him a coke and making him a sandwich, under the guise of 'being supportive' and NOT off on your own realizing you can have fun without him around. If that's the case then unless you're (both) willing to get professional help, this cannot end well and will not make you a happy gamer-girl.

And I fear, from the descriptions so far, that 3b may, in fact be what he's shooting for.
Seek other options for living space. Then AFTER that seek other relationship options. To fling one's new squeeze at an old squeeze is, in almost all cases, tacky and classless. It may also lead to unfortunate, even violent reactions. It also shows that you still care about what he thinks, and that is supposed to be what you leave behind when you end a relationship.

There will be more, better and brighter times ahead.

 

[SimuLord]

My ex-wife was a WoW addict. It made her a dull conversationalist, only able to think about her guild and raiding and all the other crap that I, who prefer a good game of Total War (or better yet talking about boxing or baseball or European history), couldn't possibly care less about. Then she complained that we never had anything to talk about!

Free advice: Unless you're both avid players, WoW is bad for relationships. Either give up the game or give up the guy.

 

[dfcrackhead]

I need someone's help.

As a man married for only a little more then 2 years, let me offer what I've learned on this subject:
Set aside time for each other. Every week, my wife and I have a 'date night' where we pick what to do together, and we do it. No video games for me, no crappy TV shows that suck for her (I'm a little biased). So we'll either watch a movie or two together, or watch a set of shows we like, or go for a walk, or whatever. As long as it's together, with no 'alone' time for that night.

That's worked out swimmingly so far. We'll still spend every night having dinner together and watching a show or two, but then she'll turn on Grey's Anatomy or some other show I hate with all my being, and I'll head off and play PC or 360 games. Then we usually goto bed around the same time. And I always try to take time between online rounds, or I'll pause the game, to head over and see how she's doing, get her a drink or something, and let her know I'm not forgetting about her.

It's give and take, and both have to be involved. He can't selfishly demand you stop playing that game any more then you could demand he stop playing his favourite game. It's a partnership, not a contest of power!

My two cents, at least.

Just as an aside, I respect you dude, you sound like you act exactly how I hope I will one day. Have a healthy relationship + still having alone time and hobbies and still taking a bit of extra time to remind your woman how great she is and that you care. I applaud you and I hope you never have to come face to face with a divorce lawyer.

On topic though: Talk to the dude, tell him how shit is, or for his next b-day, get him a comp(if he doesn't have one), WoW and a few months paid for so you guys can play that together.

 

[dfcrackhead]

Who owns the appartment? and who owns the xbox, ps3 and pc?

My advice would be he's being an arsehole saying he wants you to stop gaming completely whereas he can carry on regardless tell him up straight that he sort's himself out or you leave him, that's all I can offer from my point of view

We split the apartment. He owns the PS3. I own the pc and the 360.

Lol he has the PS3? No wonder he's angry jkjk. After reading what "Tom Roberts" said above, I think that talking may not work nor my other idea, so I'd suggest calling his bluff and seeing if he will leave, if he does, then he obviously didn't care very much to begin with, if not, show him the error of his ways, that he isn't the boss and that if he wants a problem fixed, fixing it, or talking, works a helluva lot better than yelling and empty threats

 

[Theninja'skatana]

He complaing because you don't do anything together?
Well you might wnat to get another console or go for walk every now and again
Really thought it sounds like it's him not you.

 

[Theninja'skatana]

He has a gamer girlfriend and this upsets him?

My recommendation: A swift kick in the nuts.

This or less drastic measures It's all the same *sarcasm*

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

He needs to man up. Or at least stop bugging you about it.

 

[DC_Josh]

I do understand his position, having been in it myself. It can make you think alot of negative thoughts about yourself.

But in reality, you don't love him any less or dislike spending time with him and he just needs to be reassured that. But at the same time let him know in a stern way that playing WoW makes you happy as well and its an important release for you. If he's any kind of decent he'll understand.

Let us know how it goes

 

[Nouw]

Sounds a bit like an attention whore. Also, try BonsaiK's relationship problems thread.

Well it's Do really.

 

[Hollock]

snip

This isn't the first time and we tried talking. But every time we do it's other things that come up. It's like he wants me to stop playing WoW and all games together, he always wants to stop playing games too. It doesn't happen. When I ask him why he gets so mad he says I'm being childish and that I wouldn't understand. It's never one straight answer. He mostly answers a question with a question. Or he doesn't wanna talk about his feelings at all.
He strongly hates PC games. He wants nothing to do with them. I talked to him about getting the a 2nd console ( he gave his away to his brother before he moved in) but he just sighs at the idea of buying 2 games every time. When we play games that are co-op he complain about the split screen. Or he just doesn't want to play that game. We loved playing little big planet together but now he just wants to play CoD or Star wars the Force Unleashed. I really do miss playing CoD, Gears, and Halo with him but he also wants to play with online friends. With Black Ops coming out we are buying 2 games. I'm getting the 360 one and he's getting the PS3. All because he has more friends on the PS3 to play with.

From this I think he isn't going to be reasonable with video games, probably ever. Almost like he doesn't want you to be playing games period, just watch him play or something. My advice is to try and go out and do other non-videogame related stuff with him. Go see movies, or to dinner or something couples do when out on dates ( I wouldn't know [sub](I'm so lonely)[/sub])

 

[Glassesguy904]

Yikes. I'm sorry to say, but if the problem has gone on for a few months it's time to resort to final options. You have to come clean and discuss this with him, and he probably won't like it. If you really like the guy you have to talk to him about it and ask hm what's wrong even if it means... you probably know what. In fact you shouldn't be posting this online. If he was to read this it would further the problem because you didn't discus the problem with him.