"...but we're just friends"
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The tactic I am about to prose assumes you, as I am, a teenager, and not looking for a long, meaningful relationship to last for decades. This hinges on the assumption that you'll only last so long anyway.
Basically, have a core circle of friends, and aim outside that for your love interest. Friends of friends, random people from parties, whatever, but don't go for your friends.
Basically, have a core circle of friends, and aim outside that for your love interest. Friends of friends, random people from parties, whatever, but don't go for your friends.
What rant? Link?zehydra said:
Not for life no, just until she is ready for family and needs someone safe and reliable, you simply become the last resort.OmegaAlucard777 said:
Question is if you are prepared to stick around and see her with all those other guys, and if she didn't already find a preferable candidate amongst those.
You probably have better chances winning the lottery then getting that girl, no matter how close she appear to be.
The thread is about girls' tendencies to "friendzone" nerdy guys. I was just saying that I don't trend toward that, and explained why. True, the last sentence is a tangent, but I don't think it deserved a back handed compliment.Mr.K. said:
But I don't come here for tact, and I am most definitely considered "wacky", so oh well.
It's just their way of saying,"I like you, but I'm scared to be alone with you." I feel your pain man.WOPR said:
don't be friends ask them out after you start to get the know then a bit then miss/hit if hit see were it goes man
Story of my motherfucking life. For some reason I always skip immediately into the friend zone (except for one case, which was fun, but ended horribly), regardless of how I meet the girl. I don't understand it.
But the thing is, we actually do end up great friends. In a way, I should count myself lucky. Because of this I've gotten close to more than a few girls, and found out that I'd probably be better off just friends with them anyway, rather than getting close and screwing it up.
I do miss having a girlfriend, though.
But the thing is, we actually do end up great friends. In a way, I should count myself lucky. Because of this I've gotten close to more than a few girls, and found out that I'd probably be better off just friends with them anyway, rather than getting close and screwing it up.
I do miss having a girlfriend, though.
Seconded, it starts to become wierdly predictable...Siberian Relic said:
And, no, because anyone who's said I'm like a brother has been my bestfreind and majority of people who listed good things I've been out with.
Well, as a girl I'm in that situation right now - a male co-worker likes me but I only like him as a friend. As of such I will say so whenever he gets around to asking me on a date; he's my friend, I care about him, but that doesn't mean I'm obliged to say yes just to not hurt his feelings. :/
If a girl says she only likes you as a friend, then she means it. It's not a sort of "card" she can use to fob you off; if she's genuinely not interested, what's the point of stringing you along?
EDIT: God, reading some of the previous comments makes me wonder if we've gotten out of the Stone Age yet. GIRLS ARE PEOPLE. TALK TO US LIKE WE ARE PEOPLE, AND WE WILL RESPOND TO THAT. Yes, some girls like jerks, but they are not the majority and tend to be jerks themselves. God. I know there was a book that said we were from Venus but I think the guy meant it as an allegory, guys. :|
If a girl says she only likes you as a friend, then she means it. It's not a sort of "card" she can use to fob you off; if she's genuinely not interested, what's the point of stringing you along?
EDIT: God, reading some of the previous comments makes me wonder if we've gotten out of the Stone Age yet. GIRLS ARE PEOPLE. TALK TO US LIKE WE ARE PEOPLE, AND WE WILL RESPOND TO THAT. Yes, some girls like jerks, but they are not the majority and tend to be jerks themselves. God. I know there was a book that said we were from Venus but I think the guy meant it as an allegory, guys. :|
So in essence, yes, guys will go out with anyone that shows the slightest bit of interest in them?bahumat42 said:
Desperate guys will go out with anything that moves, yeah, because they can't know when it'll be the next time they'll be lucky and get pussy again. They have a scarcity mentality, so they take what passes by easy.GiantRaven said:
Those of us who aren't and have an abundance mentality will show a bit more selection than that, at least for longer-term relationship material, though we do not have lists in the back of our mind. I have a few traits that I know would make me attracted and interested for something more meaningful, and I screen out women according to my needs and preferences. Of course, if my aim is just to get laid, I screen way larger.
That said, we are instinctively and biologically wired to see, under three seconds, whether we want to get laid with a woman and render her pregnant or not. Attraction is that strong in us males.
If you become just friends with them than obviously they're going to pull the friend card.
What you need to do is be friendly and act interested! Interested is the key word here, because if they don't know that you want a relationship with them, why wouldn't they pull the friend card after a few months? They don't want to ruin a good friendship, and it makes sense.
What you need to do is be friendly and act interested! Interested is the key word here, because if they don't know that you want a relationship with them, why wouldn't they pull the friend card after a few months? They don't want to ruin a good friendship, and it makes sense.
Asking for advice can come from any median, and why not from a place where he feels he can speak to people of like mind? So calm the fuck down.Flare Phoenix said:
However, I do agree with you on one thing, it probably is him.
OP: You just need to stop being so buddy buddy with them. Women have a tendancy to categorize guys into two groups pretty quick... dudes they will be intimate with, and dudes they won't. And jumping from the won't category into the will category is a tough one. You just need to change the way you interact with them from the beginning, and there are tons and tons of places online you can get an example from, there are even quite a few threads on this site that discuss these things. Just do some research.
yeah, most of the time when i want to date someone i dont go "hi! let me get to know you, tell me your secrets!, i want to be your friend"Mcupobob said:
i go "Hey there, you are cute/sexy/hot/awesome/nice/pretty (choose which applyes) would you like a beverage of your choize while i try to make you my girlfriend?"
literally
if they laugh you just won half the battle, and can continue with "yeah, i really like you lets date some time"
if they dont, "woah, chill girl, i´m just making chit chat, see ya!" and then leave them, they are not worth your time, and probably are closed in everything else, including emotions, and sex.
from 100 girls you pick up like that at least 5 will say "ok"
its a matter of numbers man, the point is "Never give up, never surrender" and they say "confidence" is the weapon of winners, just be confident and there is your girl!
WOPR said:
its because " i could never ever imagine to be in a sexual relationship with you " sounds way more rude then "every other one would be lucky with you"WOPR said:
i personally was never in that situation. because i think i am quite good at reading the friend-zone signs, so i just don't go further if i see them.
may be a pity sometimes, but it wont work with that one, pick another.
i agree with almost anything but this one, its not a "tough one" its near impossible, because from the start most guys (at least the nice ones) get close being carefull, while in my experience, the guys that jump head first are the ones that get the girlquiet_samurai said:
now, the OP has many girls that are his friends?? THEN YOU HAVE AN ADVANTAGE NO ONE ELSE HAVES!!, ask her to hook you up, she wond mind and she will help, that is one of the steps to get out of the "friends" zone, once she sees you as a "catch" not hers, but for someone else, she will start to think differently of you, and get jealous because you are with someone else
it happens
i assure you it happens.