Ok peoples, let me break it all down for you:
The "friend zone" comes from the belief that if a man does not state his intention to date a girl within a certain time frame after meeting, she will be unable to develop romantic feelings towards him - even if she initially had romantic feelings. Traditionally, the girl confuses what is often cowardice/cautiousness on the man's part for romantic disinterest. In her mind she's convinced the man views her only as a friend, and so quickly forgets any notions of intimacy. The man is now in the "friend zone", as any chance of a romantic relationship is lost.
This is, of course, mostly horse shit, and not how relationships work in the real world. It's an excuse the rejected men tell themselves to make themselves feel better: "Oh, if only I'd had the guts to act sooner she'd be mine!". Being a coward is easier to fix than being unattractive.
I think women - particularly those that cry foul about the "friend zone" - generally don't understand the emotions and motivations behind guys that act this way, and mistakenly classify their behaviour as misogynistic or malicious: "He manipulated me into thinking he was my friend, when really he only wanted to get in my pants!". What they fail to realise is that the cool, confident "jerks" don't - and wouldn't - plan a stunt like this - it's only ever the awkward nerdy types that cry about being friend zoned. I think you're giving them too much credit to assume they had some secret plan to get into your pants stuffed under that fedora, when in reality they've simply forgotten that girls are just people too. They're lonely and looking for romance, which is perfectly natural, but they've put so much pressure on themselves to get a girlfriend they've unintentionally elevated "the woman" to some beyond-human status, where only those that know the mystic language and can decipher the alien code just right are capable of getting noticed. So rather than opening up to the girl like you would another guy or a fat chick, the only thing going through their head is "Don't fuck it up, don't fuck it up, don't fuck it up... laugh at her jokes, maintain proper etiquette, compliment her attire... ok, what else is on the list? Oh shit, I think she just farted. Do I joke about it or pretend I didn't smell it? Oh God, if I say the wrong thing now I'll blow my chances and be back at square one. I'll never get a girlfriend! I'll be whacking off alone the rest of my life!". It's very stressful for them! I guess in a sense they
are trying to manipulate you to get into your pants, but it's not because they're misogynistic jerks that like to use women, it's because they're awkward little boys under a lot of self/socially-imposed pressure to score and think acting like this is the best/only way to achieve that.
And ladies, before you take it out on them for "only wanting sex" cut them some slack. They're biologically driven to want sex - it's not their fault it gets prioritised. It's this biological difference that makes the friend zone an almost exclusively male thing. Like it or not, men and women are just wired differently. Blaming men for wanting sex is as stupid as blaming women for fawning over the alpha male. The sooner you make peace with the reality of behavioural differences between the sexes the sooner you can stop crying about how "unfair" it is that she only dates jerks, or how "unfair" it is that he only wanted sex. It's possible to recognise these differences and still respect one another, and that's how genuine relationships form, sexual or otherwise. Girls need to accept that being friends with a guy - even real, genuine friends - doesn't change the fact that he would almost certainly be thrilled to stick it in you given the opportunity (provided he was single and you were comparatively as/more attractive than him). That's not his fault, it's just reality. If you have a problem being around someone that will put their face between your legs at the drop of a hat then befriend exclusively women and/or gay guys. But don't cry about how it's "disrespectful" or how it "invalidates" your friendship or any of that crap. Same goes for guys - get off her back about who she does and doesn't want to sleep with. Stop resenting her for finding alpha male "jerks" attractive. Stop resenting her for having greater scrutiny over who she will or won't sleep with. She's not a bad person for not wanting to sleep with you.
EDIT: With all due respect to Maxtro, I present exhibit A:
Maxtro said:
I hate being frienzoned and it does make me rage because it's happened way too many fucking times.
31 years old and I'm finally pretty damn close to getting my first girlfriend. And you know what, she even mentioned that I was the kind of guy who seemed to get friendzoned a lot.
I don't know about other men, but for me I know I'm getting repeatedly friednzoned because it's a combination of me being short and not that attractive, plus having low confidence (because I never get anywhere with women), and not knowing how to properly flirt (because once again, I never get anywhere with women.)
Frankly I was starting to believe that I was absolute shit and would have done something really stupid if I wasn't able to get the woman thing worked out in the next couple of years. There was no fucking way I would be alone at 40 years old still trying to get women to notice me.
As we can see, Maxtro here partially chalks his failings up to not knowing how to speak the mystic language of "the woman". It's also evident how much pressure he's put on himself to have that sexual conquest. This is likely why his lady friend could very easily spot he was prone to being "friendzoned". I wish you the best of luck Maxtro, and hope you eventually find a way to relax around women.
