Darkeagle6 said:
Yes, she described (to others in my presence, I preferred not to deal with her) some of the things I mention above -- being drunk most nights, waking up with strange guys, etc. Words out of her own mouth.
Was I ever one of those guys she went with? No. Do I have surveillance video to back up what I said? No. But when you have a decent number of these puzzle pieces, you don't have to be Columbo to take a good guess at the whole picture. When you've got a confession, you don't need testimony from another.
I detest euphemisms, but if you prefer the terms promiscuous or easy over slut, please feel free to read it whichever way you prefer. None of those terms sounds particularly complimentary to me, and all are accurate in this case. If you want to believe this woman was a chaste nun at whom I threw the word slut to make myself feel superior, feel free to believe it.
Ignorant or an ass....hmm. I'm going to go with ass. I know you can't actually catch a disease from a hug. However, aside from and in addition to personal habits of which I disapprove, this woman could not be bothered to get along with anyone at work. She was the laziest person I've ever worked around, impossibly snotty, and disrespectful to everyone at all times. I wasn't kidding when I said toxic. She played head games with one male coworker, twisting his brain around so bad he became useless. I once saw her tell the boss, in all seriousness and in front of customers, to go fuck himself. (She did not get fired for that, because the boss has no balls. That's a whole separate discussion. The point is, she knew she could get away with it, so she did it. It was fun for her.) Another male coworker and I were applying for other jobs, willing to lose our seniority and a good chunk of pay to escape her presence. When she tried to hug me, I wanted to make it clear to her that there was no force in Earth or heaven which could compel me to share space with her. If I had returned it, she might have thought I liked her. Her attention is what I was trying not to catch. I shudder to think how bad it could have gotten had she become focused on me. If wanting a toxic person to stay away makes me an ass, I'll wear those long ears with pride.
You can argue that a bad excuse for a human being, such as this woman I keep talking about, makes a poor example. You can say I've tried to make it about character when it really isn't. There would be some validity to that argument. Certainly not every person who engages in casual sex is a waste of space. Nevertheless, she represents the most experience I have had with such a person. She is the image that will come to my mind whenever the subject arises. I equate her with her behavior and her behavior with her.
If, from this moment forth, you equate "alpha male" with "Johnny Impact," I can only say bring it on. I've been called worse. No one is ever going to mistake me for an alpha male. I'm not sure how you dragged that in. If I were the kind of aggressive, territorial, testosterone-guzzling dingbat you're implying, I wouldn't care how many partners a woman had had, or even what her name was. I'd just want my turn. "Half the guys in town got there before me" is just easier to say, and, in my opinion, more honest, than "she has had a long history of casual sex, totting up an impressive roster of partners, with each of whom she no doubt had unique and special experiences, having become -- if I may use the term in a non-deprecatory way --
seasoned in the ways of pleasure; but such unremitting continuance of sexual activity over such a long period of time is, in itself, an indication of inherently greater health risk in becoming her next partner, as well as the likelihood that she will trivialize such intimate contact as having little meaning, less a hurdle to be jumped than a curb to step up upon, blah blah blah."
I disapprove of casual sex because I think sex should be special. Not save-yourself-for-marriage special, but more of a decision than, "Hey, you're pretty, let's do it." If I know a woman has had many partners, that alone is reason enough for me to consider staying away. Sex ceases to be special if you have it constantly, with people you barely know. A woman who engages in casual sex is almost certainly a poor companion for me, and I for her.
I would expect any woman who shared my view to steer clear of a guy who had a reputation as a player. Quite possibly she would describe him in terms a bit more colorful than "player."
Not everybody shares my view, of course. Plenty of casual-sex fans would refer to me as a prude, prig, goody-two-shoes, or puritan -- all insulting terms. They're welcome to do so. Doesn't bother me a bit.
I don't need your moralizing. If you're bothered by my aversion to casual sex, don't approach me for sex. If you're bothered by my call-it-what-it-is approach, I suggest you may be insecure and overly sensitive.
Dystopia said:Amusingly, I find this more amusingly narrow-minded than anything I've said. As I clearly stated, to each, their own. I don't see a need to attack people who act like that, or tell them I find them disgusting. I said no such thing. I simply called it as I see it; in my experience, the people like this that I've dealt with have had serious issues with self-respect. Interestingly enough, those that eventually learned a healthy degree of self-respect actually dropped the mindset and the lifestyle that came with it. That's simply a side effect of something they did for themselves, though.Romaz said:
