Casual sex

[cdstephens]

It's just hard to have sex with someone you know well without getting attached or emotional. This is because you actually know them, and sex is a personal action. I'm pretty sure this is an evolutionary feature since it would be pretty damn hard to raise children when the parents are busy getting naughty with other people, which back then would cause even *more* babies to be born, which would cause more trouble, etc.

Then of course there's the moral argument, but since everyone knows it I won't get into that, and morality can be relative anyways.

This reminds me of that one Seinfeld episode where Jerry and Elaine try to have casual sex.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

Only way to stop STD's is, indeed, Not fucking around... and no sharing needles, but as this isn't a drug use topic no point in opening THAT can of worms up.

Now, I myself am no virgin, but I'm well aware I roll dice every time I get it stuck in, no matter who it is. 'Safe' sex isn't, but so long as you know the risks, why should I give a damn?

I just dislike the view that people think condom+contraceptive=no more problems ever, as it is incorrect.

What problems could arise if you are using a condom and contraceptive? The probability of pregnancy and/or infection seem really low in that situation.

 

[Syzygy23]

I think it'd be great, even though I've never managed to do it without someone getting emotionally involved. Sex is great, and we all have needs to fulfil. Why not?

See, that's where it starts, right there by saying "Why not?". Eventually you'll start justifying EVERY act of depravity or excess with "Why not?".

People, that's what we are. We are human beings, not animals, we shouldn't be giving in to our base desires so easily.

 

[Bocaj2000]

Would I do it? The only girl I have had sex with is the girl that I lost my V-card to, so I don't know. Technically, we are broken up and are eachother's booty call, but it still feels strange to have sex without a relationship. My views on sex are skewed due to my lack of sexual partners, so I don't know what I will think once I start sleeping with others. Maybe it will become common sleep with someone and still be friends; maybe I will date before even considering it.


Is it morally wrong? Not at all.

EDIT:

I think it'd be great, even though I've never managed to do it without someone getting emotionally involved. Sex is great, and we all have needs to fulfil. Why not?

See, that's where it starts, right there by saying "Why not?". Eventually you'll start justifying EVERY act of depravity or excess with "Why not?".

People, that's what we are. We are human beings, not animals, we shouldn't be giving in to our base desires so easily.

We shouldn't give into our desires?
Why not?

 

[Lilani]

Only way to stop STD's is, indeed, Not fucking around... and no sharing needles, but as this isn't a drug use topic no point in opening THAT can of worms up.

Now, I myself am no virgin, but I'm well aware I roll dice every time I get it stuck in, no matter who it is. 'Safe' sex isn't, but so long as you know the risks, why should I give a damn?

I just dislike the view that people think condom+contraceptive=no more problems ever, as it is incorrect.

What problems could arise if you are using a condom and contraceptive? The probability of pregnancy and/or infection seem really low in that situation.

They SEEM really low. But the risks are never, EVER zero. No form of birth control or protection is 100% effective, even when using more than one at the same time. Plenty of women get pregnant and plenty of diseases get spread every day even when both of them do everything "right."

 

[Blow_Pop]

i look at it as fulfilling a need. And more power to the people willing to do so. I won't do it with strangers but with friends yes. And I am female as well

 

[The Virgo]

Depending on the woman, yeah, a little casual sex is good, but only if she's not someone I would want to spend my life with.

However, if the woman is one that I think is THE one, then no "casual" sex. Lots of dating, she moves in with me and then later, "real" sex!

 

[cdstephens]

I think it'd be great, even though I've never managed to do it without someone getting emotionally involved. Sex is great, and we all have needs to fulfil. Why not?

See, that's where it starts, right there by saying "Why not?". Eventually you'll start justifying EVERY act of depravity or excess with "Why not?".

People, that's what we are. We are human beings, not animals, we shouldn't be giving in to our base desires so easily.

And eventually you'll start objecting to everything with a "why"? Soon, we won't be able to have casual sex, monogamous sex, and before you know it we'll require artificial insemination because any sex at all becomes wholly immoral.

Protip: Slippery slope arguments are easily reversed.

 

[Slayer_2]

My view on it is do what you will. I honestly don't care what other people do, as long as it doesn't harm me or other people. As long as you're both single and looking for some fun, why not. Personally, I've only ever tried it once, and it ended up with my rocket... um lets say failing to launch... It was rather embarrassing, and made things awkward, as you can imagine. Maybe I'm all talk, as I think of myself as logical, to the point of being cold, yet when the time came to step up to the plate, I was swinging a rope instead of a bat... Ugh.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

They SEEM really low. But the risks are never, EVER zero. No form of birth control or protection is 100% effective, even when using more than one at the same time. Plenty of women get pregnant and plenty of diseases get spread every day even when both of them do everything "right."

But that's why casual sex with friends seems so much more practical and safe. I mean the odds of pregnancy and disease is even lower than that if you factor in stuff like regular STD screening, knowledge of a partner's history, and good old fashioned abortion. Granted, I'm a virgin and I know almost nothing about sex. Just asking out of curiosity like an alien visitor inquiring about local mating rituals.

It has always felt like there's so little I can trust about what anyone says about sex since everything is so drastically biased from religion, "morals," and personal experience. Is having sex really all that more risky than driving a car?

 

[synobal]

All I got to say is beware the drama.

 

[Evidencebased]

Personally, I probably wouldn't be able to pull off having sex with a friend and then not being awkward with them later or initially being serious. I equate sex with romance and feelings and stuff, so I probably couldn't get away with it. It wouldn't feel right to me.

But, I don't see anyone who CAN do it as anything bad, they just look at it differently than I do. No big deal. I'd also be fine with dating someone with that view, so long as they didn't mess around with anyone.

This is basically my answer. I'm fairly introverted and not particularly touchy-feely, so for me casual sex would probably be awkward and uncomfortable or I'd end up way overthinking it. I'm much more the type who would want to at least know the person very well beforehand, and have a chance at a long term relationship. (I've tried casual sex once or twice after a few drinks and it wasn't horrible but it wasn't the kind of thing I would do sober -- a pretty good indication that something is not your personal style, yeah? ;p)

But for people who can have casual sex, I say more power to them (male or female!) It's fun, stress-relieving, good exercise... if you're playing safe (condoms!) and no one is getting their feelings hurt there is zero downside. And I wouldn't have a problem dating someone who liked casual sex either, as long as we agreed what kind of relationship we would have -- would he/she sleep around while we were together, is he/she currently looking for something long term like me, etc etc.

 

[penguindude42]

Prudishness is a sign of a weak mind. I say bad sex, coupled with redundant conservative "moral" values, is ultimately responsible for a massive amount of the evil in the world. So clearly I am pro casual sex. Moreover, I am anti-marriage. It's an obsolete sacrament now, we should move on, rather than attempt to hold the people you apparently love hostage via a legal document. If you choose to be monogamous, that's your choice, you don't need a state sanctioned contract to do so. To me, that's the least romantic thing in the world.

This. Just...this

Here's 10 cookies and an internet, knock yourself out.

Not literally, of course. -_-'

~TOM<3

 

[cdstephens]

I'll just leave this here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I42-ucH1SE

 

[KingsGambit_v1legacy]

I've actually wondered about this sorta thing. Does "society" put too much importance/pressure/guilt on sex?

I mean there's so much thrown at people...no sex before marriage, birth control, the pill specifically, STDs, pregnancy, value of virginity, it has to be right, "the one", "first time to be special", better with someone you love, 1000 ways to be a better lover, one night stand, etc.

Is it all just a load of bollox? Can't two people simply have fun and sate need and lust without guilt? The STD thing I'll except because that's just common sense.

 

[Nimcha]

I think it'd be great, even though I've never managed to do it without someone getting emotionally involved. Sex is great, and we all have needs to fulfil. Why not?

See, that's where it starts, right there by saying "Why not?". Eventually you'll start justifying EVERY act of depravity or excess with "Why not?".

People, that's what we are. We are human beings, not animals, we shouldn't be giving in to our base desires so easily.

Why not?

Allow me to specify why yes: Because it feels good! And by the way, we are animals. We have base desires and there's nothing wrong with giving in to them. As long as they don't go against any actual societal laws, of course. But that's intrisic to society, and not even exclusively human society.

 

[Guitarmasterx7]

I'm very tired right now, so I laughed my ass off at this. What the fuck is that from?

Scott Pilgrim. That's one of the few funny parts in the comics that they didn't have in the film. I wouldn't really recommend reading them. The film was really good though if you haven't seen it.

OT: I've been operating pretty much exclusively in casual sex and friends with benefits relationships for like, 5 years. I definitely prefer it over committed relationships. Shit stops being fun when you have to get intimate and I'm not looking for a soul mate. That's just me though. Generally when I say shit like this some love expert feels obligated to chew me out and tell me about how much I don't understand the matter, and if you're reading this right now I'd like to tell you preemptively to shove it.

 

[Blow_Pop]

Sleeping around is considered by some, and partially me, to be a sign of moral weakness.

Isn't that just a little critical?

Humans can barely afford to be moral creatures nowadays; we need to bend with the wind to keep ahead of all the shit that we put in our own way in life.

OT; Well...sure. If you want sex and your partner and you consent, go nuts.

Me personally, relationships are pretty damn far from my mind, but...*shrug*

but but but kitty....i thought we had something between us.......why else would you read to me in bed? you and your sexy sexy accent. Fuck!

 

[Phantomess]

What do you people think of casual sex or being friends with benefits? What do you think of women/men who sleep around a bit? Would you consider going steady with someone like that? Any experiences on the matter?

I myself am female and quite open for sex with friends (supposing that all parties are single etc). Consequently, I've had some sweet sexy times with a few of my friends. I have enjoyed these encounters a great deal. However, I know this is met with some scorn and would like to hear what others think of the subject.

Done the FWB thing and yeah, it worked out pretty well. Very well, in fact. I didn't get into a relationship with him, but it was definitely worth it. It took away any regrets that I had with him.

So yeah, I'm all for it. I think it's a great idea and it is a great way to test how mature the two of you can be about it.

 

[pirateninj4]

Wrap their shit up...don't have kids, because if you do...