Casual sex

[ace_of_something]

What do you people think of casual sex or being friends with benefits? What do you think of women/men who sleep around a bit? Would you consider going steady with someone like that? Any experiences on the matter?

If I had kids and they were letting whoever was willing do whatever they want to them, I'd be pretty disappointed in them. I hope to teach them more than my parents taught me.

As a teenager and until I was about 26 or so I was pretty bad about being a 'serial monogamist' dating girls for about a month then tossing them aside without thinking about it. I still feel pretty bad. Perhaps it's because the first girl I was intimate with kind of messed me up for a long long time.

Anyway, I just wanted to post this because it has the same title as the thread.

There was never an offical music video so all you get is crappy art student videos

 

[Kinaori]

In principle, no problem. But a good chunk of folks do attach serious emotions to sex (even if they like to say they don't/won't), so from what I've seen, it gets messy eventually.

I've had to comfort a couple friends in the middle of that dilemma, and it's hard not to question the judgment of both parties involved, not on moral grounds, but just that... someone's very likely to get hurt at some point.

 

[Johnny Impact]

I generally have zero respect for people that do that, as I find they frequently have little respect for their own bodies either.

To each, their own, but I have very little interest in spending time with people like that.

Bingo.

There was a girl where I work -- gone now, thankfully -- who was six feet of curvaceous raven-haired beauty. She looked great and she knew it. Painted-on jeans, a little sashay in the hips, all that stuff. Half the guys developed crushes.

Thing is, she was a bar slut in the worst way. No respect for anyone, herself least of all. Her typical evening: "Get out of work, go make eyes at a hot guy, let him get me blitzed and take me to his place, wake up not knowing his name or where I am." I have no idea how many diseases she might have had. She tried to hug me once and I pushed her away for fear of catching something. Not even kidding.

I'm not a psychologist, but I get the impression she was trapped in a cycle of self-loathing and self-abuse, punishing herself for being a bar slut.....by being a bar slut.

Short version, she should have had one of those black and yellow signs over her head: DANGER, TOXIC WASTE.

I know you don't have to be a self-hating wreck of a human being to indulge in casual sex, but she's the image that comes to mind. I know at my age I won't be the first partner a woman has ever had, but when I know half the guys in town got there before me....

I can't see the appeal.

 

[Evilbunny]

I myself am female and quite open for sex with friends (supposing that all parties are single etc). Consequently, I've had some sweet sexy times with a few of my friends. I have enjoyed these encounters a great deal.

Huh, I should like, get to know you.

 

[Inco]

I'm sorry, I had to.

Honestly, When only reason why I came onto this thread was just to see if any would have posted this. Since you have, it saves me the effort of doing so myself. Bravo!

I don't have anything against it, really, it can be fun.

 

[Xavisam]

I also have a question, can you have formal sex?

The way I imagine it would be set in a dimly candle lit king bedroom, with me in a tuxedo playing a smooth jazz song on the piano in the corner.

 

[Yassen]

There's no right or wrong answer for this. Casual sex works for some people and for others it doesn't. There's nothing wrong with either.

In my own personal experience sex means different things depending on who it's with. If I'm actually interested in the person then yes, sex can be personal and emotional. But if I just think they're attractive then it's just about having fun. Can it get complicated? Of course. Will it always? Nope.

So long as you feel you're okay doing it and are being smart about it, go right ahead.

 

[blackrad124]

In America, depending on your age and friend circle, you will be scorned for it. It sucks, but it's true. Hope you're living in Europe

 

[Jason Danger Keyes]

I've had a couple friends with benefits and I cannot recommend it highly enough. It's like if we're hanging out and we're both just going to go home and masturbate, why not just fuck?

 

[Angry Camel]

I'd never be able to sleep around like that, mainly due to my beliefs and my social arkwardness. I definitely don't support you doing it, but I'm not in any position to judge.

 

[Dreaming Dan]

In my younger days before I got married I had a number of "special friends", I think as long as everyone involved knows what the score is and where it going there is no harm involved. If they are expecting more than you can give thing do start getting a bit messy.

If your attracted enought to these people to sleep with them is there not more of an attraction and your just not willing to commit to a relationship?

In all sex buddies can be great fun as long as you know exactly where you both stand.

 

[HentMas]

What do you people think of casual sex or being friends with benefits? What do you think of women/men who sleep around a bit? Would you consider going steady with someone like that? Any experiences on the matter?

I myself am female and quite open for sex with friends (supposing that all parties are single etc). Consequently, I've had some sweet sexy times with a few of my friends. I have enjoyed these encounters a great deal. However, I know this is met with some scorn and would like to hear what others think of the subject.

Hey if every consenting party is single, then why not? I personally may not like the idea of friends with benefits, but I don't see anything wrong considering no one's cheating on anyone.

[HEADING=2] What do you think Noob?

...*sigh* Not the best voice of reason[/HEADING]

considering i am after a girl that haves being in several "open relationships" and it has made me doubt tenfold the... "morals" of such girl i have to say it does hurt, the image of a person that haves sex with someone without a commitment makes everyone wonder if she is ready for a commitment at all, and that is not a good idea for someone 18 years old...

thats why i hate casual sex.

 

[TheLoneBeet]

I think I could make it work with a friend, but not a complete stranger. I enjoy the emotional aspect and the intimacy more than I enjoy the actual sex so.. casual sex would just be weird for me. I'd try it a few times but I wouldn't want to keep doing it forever without any emotional ties.

 

[Aurgelmir]

What do you people think of casual sex or being friends with benefits? What do you think of women/men who sleep around a bit? Would you consider going steady with someone like that? Any experiences on the matter?

I myself am female and quite open for sex with friends (supposing that all parties are single etc). Consequently, I've had some sweet sexy times with a few of my friends. I have enjoyed these encounters a great deal. However, I know this is met with some scorn and would like to hear what others think of the subject.

Well at one point it will stop being casual for one of the parties. That's just Science.

You see when you have sex there is a chemical released in your brain that will make you more attracted to / gain a more romantic view of the other person. So more sex = more attraction.

In some birds one dose of this is enough to last them a life time, hence why some birds mate for life.

Random piece of fact from Aurgelmir today. Hope you enjoyed.

 

[Rex Fallout]

I think it's just logical thinking. Everyone(with few exceptions of course) likes sex, and if two people on good terms want to have sex but aren't looking for a serious or necessarily lasting relationship... what's the problem?

Well there is the fact that sex doesn't bring you happiness. And of course the fact that you can't have 'casual' sex with someone, because it just doesn't work that way. And then there is the old STD's thing but apparently no one worries about that anymore.

Other than that I can say that I didn't enjoy sex with the person I had it with, I deeply regret doing it, and it fucked up my life.

But of course guess it may be different for you. *shruggs* just telling you from my experience.

 

[Supernova2000]

I wish I had someone like that but knowing my rotten luck with women in general, I doubt it'd end well anyway.

 

[Callate]

It's not for me. I've always been a serial monogamist (which at this time in my life, and very hopefully for the remainder, simply means a monogamist.) That's what works for me, and I certainly think it has its benefits.

That doesn't necessarily mean I look down on you, OP, or anyone else who can make this kind of arrangement work. I've been friends with only a very few people with whom I could imagine sex being strictly a "friendly" act. I'm not particularly concerned with the "morality" of casual sex as I am with the possibility of people getting hurt, mostly emotionally.

As long as everyone is a consenting adult and on board with how much (or little) sex means, and exercises some responsibility... hey, sex is great. Enjoy your life.

 

[Turing]

What do you people think of casual sex or being friends with benefits? What do you think of women/men who sleep around a bit? Would you consider going steady with someone like that? Any experiences on the matter?

I myself am female and quite open for sex with friends (supposing that all parties are single etc). Consequently, I've had some sweet sexy times with a few of my friends. I have enjoyed these encounters a great deal. However, I know this is met with some scorn and would like to hear what others think of the subject.

Its just sex, so long as everyone is consenting and nobody is cheating on a partner, why would there be a problem?

 

[Farther than stars]

I think it's just logical thinking. Everyone(with few exceptions of course) likes sex, and if two people on good terms want to have sex but aren't looking for a serious or necessarily lasting relationship... what's the problem?

Except if you'd ask Freud, he'd say that asexuals also want to have sex, but that the unconscious somehow twists that around into not wanting to have sex. And personally I can see some sense in that argument from an evolutionary point of view. After all, asexuals could just be really, really, unhealthily specific about where their gene strains go and are holding out for a perhaps unexisting mating partner.

Anyway, what were my thought on the subject? Well, I'll have to level with you: I'm a virgin, so I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. But as far as I'm concerned, in the order you posted the questions in:
-Sure, if it makes both of you happy, I have no complaint.
-Sex was there before marriage and we came from that, so it can't be all fire and brimstone.
-I would, if she's nice, but I'd probably be wired like the Iron Curtain all the time.
-What did I just say about being a virgin?

So, yeah, the jist of it is go ahead, if it makes you both happy. But just remember, if she gets pregnant/you get pregnant, it's your baby. And if she's seeing someone/if he's seeing someone, you're in the wrong too.