Choose Your Own Adventure

[personion]

Look at the Crimson and Black books - feels like they'd be powerful ones, and we need us some power right about now.

Open the Blue book to a random page and read it's inscriptions aloud...

You open the crimson book and read the symbols of insanity aloud. You close your eyes, hard, the symbols etched into your corneas, and then open them wide. You are seeing red. Blood gushes from your eyes and mouth, which curves into a grin. Wherever you look you can see the blood flow of every living creature around you. Huddled in ruined buildings you see what's left of the humans under the rubble, their bloodflow increasing as they realize the desolation around them. You can now passively see the blood of all living creatures.
Sanity: 5/10
You push forward, reading the black book. This time, the symbols rip themselves into your hand. You instinctively point your hand towards a piece of rubble and the rubble violently flies towards you. You duck and the rubble flies over your head and crashes into the pig flesh behind you. You can now use an ability twice that brings an object flying towards you.
Sanity: 3/10
You pick up the last book, the blue one, and read it. A chill wind blows past you. The pig flesh surrounding freezes as you walk around it before you realize you have the ability to unfreeze it. As you look at the warm pig flesh you realize you can steal the warmth of objects and freeze them. You can do this twice.
Sanity: 1/10
Abilities: Bloodsight, Void Hands x 2, Heat Steal x 2

 

[FPLOON]

Shine some light on the scene at hand!

 

[Wary Wolf]

Then point the flashlight roofwards under your chin, making that creepy effect that all scout leaders do when they tell lame ghost stories.

Then proclaim in a gravelly voice: "YESSSS!!! POWER! COME THEN DEMONS FROM HELL! I WILL FREEZE YOUR TESTI- I mean... TENTICLES OFF!"

 

[Barbas]

Remember why you are here and why you must get out. Think of your books, your armchair and your garden. Take heart.

 

[personion]

Shoin soim loit out the proibloim, govnah!

Alright govnah! Yes, govnah!
You take out your FLASHY LIGHTY DEVICEY and go bzzw bzzw with the light! A veew of weez! flies from the flashy lighty and bew bews the area around you.
You look around the desolate wasteland. Chocolate covers everything. For some reason the chocolate is oinking and also loves you. The feeling is mutual then! You love it! There are some booky wookies too but they're not making any Chubaka sounds. B--baka! It's not like you wanted to be killed by tentacles anyways!
You shake your head, holding on to the 10% of you that's still sane. There's a fun spinny pool of souls being sucked into the sky and five white hands giving you a thumbs up in the distance. White power!

POINT FLASHLIGHT AT ROOF AND EAT TESTICLES

You take the flashlight and point it towards the roof of a nearby building, which is nowhere, because all the roofs have been bye-bye-gone . You because all the roofs have been bye-bye-gone . You take flashy lighty devicey and shine it towards your chin. Then you fall to the ground and make an effort to eat your own testicles. The best you can do is strain your back trying to do so. ONE DAY TESTICLES. ONE DAY YOU WILL BE MINE.
10/9 Demeters agree the world's going to end and thus one day the testicles will literally be landmines and explodes and make you go bye-bye-gone . You because you don't want to be bye-bye-gone but you can't get out of crazy-pants chocolate land.

Remember why u here and why u must get out. Think of your brooks, your farmhair and your barden. Take fart.

"I often miss Bag End," says Bilbo in your left ear.
"Remember, Bilbo," says Thoren, "home be where the heart is, yo."
Thoren pulls his cap backwards and begins to rap.
"Dawg, you might be crazy
But deze raps aren't lazy
Cuz when we're talkin' bout rhymes?
Bruh, you got it all the time!
You may wanna go to Bag End
but first you gotta be our God Send
Cuz those tentacles need a God's End
Make your choices, where your heart's end!"

You put a hand to your heart and start to remember. This is your world. And it looks like you're the only person fit to save it. You can't go insane. Not yet. There is much to be done, still. Much, much to be done. You think about your home. Your loved ones, as a means of motivation. Donald. The flirtatious zombie woman. Your pet zombie pig, killed before his time. That time you tried to eat a flashlight.
"DO YOU WANT SANITY?" laughs Demeter.
"Yes," you say.
"WELL!" says the God-King, "YOU SHALL HAVE IT AT A PRICE!"
"What price?" you say.
"IT IS SIMPLE," says the Black Tentacle God, "WHEN I BROUGHT YOU TO MY DOMAIN YOU AWOKE TO BLOOD DRIPPING ON YOUR HEAD FROM THE CEILING ABOVE. THERE WAS A CRACK IN THE CEILING WHERE THE BLOOD WAS COMING FROM."
You look on with apprehension, waiting for whatever bs this mofo wants from you.
"TELL ME WHAT WAS IN THE ROOM ABOVE YOU! IF YOU GUESS RIGHT, I WILL RESTORE YOUR SANITY FOR FIVE MINUTES! IF YOU GUESS WRONG, I WILL TAKE YOUR SOUL."

In this psychoscape, you stare at the five black tentacles writhing around. All you have with you in this world is your flashlight. You have some semblance of sanity remaining as you think back to the dripping in the beginning.

 

[Barbas]

Shine the flashlight in the eyes of the beast, or wherever eyes would normally be.

 

[Wary Wolf]

Concentrate really hard on recalling when you woke up in the room. Project every last part of your sanity back to that moment. Try so hard that you feel that you are actually there. That you can smell the compost again. You can hear the drip, drip, drip. You can feel it on your forehead.

Look up. For now you have the Bloodsight. And you see...

 

[personion]

Shine flashlight up at the source of the water, and the rest of the room.

You shine your light at the monster. It hisses.
"YOU DARE DEFY ME!?" it screeches. Where your light touches, the blackness begins to dissolve. "YOU MAY BE ABLE TO VANQUISH ME FROM YOUR MIND," says the beast, "BUT YOUR WORLD IS STILL MINE! YOUR MIND IS STILL SHATTERED!"
Tentacles grab your legs. They work their way towards your skull. They crawl inside your mouth and come out your eyes. But you remain resolute. You are strong. You are sane.

╔═════════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ════════════════╗
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ you are a beautiful strong sane human ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who don?t need no tentacle ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
╚═════════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ════════════════╝

Concentrate really hard on recalling when you woke up in the room. Project every last part of your sanity back to that moment. Try so hard that you feel that you are actually there. That you can smell the compost again. You can hear the drip, drip, drip. You can feel it on your forehead.

Look up. For now you have the Bloodsight. And you see...

You recreate the scene for yourself. You are staring at the ceiling. There is a crack in the ceiling. Blood drips from it, onto you. Your bloodsight shows you that THIS BLOOD'S AIGHT, AMIRIGHT? No, stop, you need to remain sane.

You stare at the ceiling. You can see blood, yes, so much blood. But it's not attached to anything or anybody. It is a room full of blood. From the floor to the ceiling you see the blood, pulsing quietly in the room. You know the answer now.

The tentacles stop coming for you. They drop out of your mouth. "BRAT!" says the monster, "IT IS ONLY FITTING YOU KNOW MY NAME. I AM D'Z'Z'Z'Z! I RESIDE IN MURKIEST OF MINDS, THE BLACKEST OF INSANITIES! THE ANCIENTS THAT MAKE UP YOUR WORLD BROUGHT YOU TO MY ABODE AS A FORCE TO REFUTE MY PRESENCE, BUT THEY WERE WRONG TO PICK A MORTAL AS WEAK IN WILL AS YOU!"

Its black tentacles come towards you slowly. "I OFFER YOU A CHOICE, WEAKLING. BECOME ONE WITH ME AND YOU WILL NOT BE SO SMALL AND INSIGNIFICANT. YOU WILL BE A PART OF A GREATER DIMENSION, A HIGHER PURPOSE."

You grip your flashlight. There's still life left in it.

"OR I CAN SIMPLY RELEASE YOU AND GIVE YOU BACK SOME OF YOUR MEASLY SANITY. CHOOSE WISELY, WEAK ONE, THOUGH WISDOM IS SUCH A RARITY IN YOUR KIND."

 

[Wary Wolf]

Refuse D'Z'Z'Z'Z's influence. Take heart that the Ancients are with you.

Use your Void Hands spell on the big, swirly, soul consuming dimensional gate in the sky, mentally calling the Ancients to aid you.

 

[personion]

Refuse D'Z'Z'Z'Z's influence. Take heart that the Ancients are with you.

Use your Void Hands spell on the big, swirly, soul consuming dimensional gate in the sky, mentally calling the Ancients to aid you.

You point one of your hands towards the swirling vortex of souls and call the Ancients to your side. You feel a tug, but nothing happens.
"FOOL!" screeches D'Z'Z'Z'Z. Tentacles wrap around your neck and squeeze. "YOUR ANCIENTS HAVE ABANDONED THIS WORLD, AND YOU."
Undeterred, you hold up your other hand and pull down with all the force you can, using both of your Void Hand spells.
Something crashes through the whirlpool.
"D'Z'Z'Z'Z"says an otherworldly voice. Above, you see what appears to be six rotating faces with six angel wings fly down from above. You release your grip on the Ancient just as D'Z'Z'Z'Z releases his grip on your neck. You fall backwards as the two collide and explode. Momentarily, you lose vision of what's happening. And then--

You are laying on your back, staring at a beautiful blue sky.
"D'Z'Z'Z'Z is inside your head, trying to break your will! But you cannot succumb to this insanity, you are my link to this world! If you die, I will be banished and this world doomed!

This voice seems nothing more than a whisper on the wind. You are a child. You are playing with a sandcastle. Your mother walks up to you, kneels down. In her left hand is a slice of key-lime pie. In her right hand is an apple. "How are you, sweetie?"
You nod your head. Good.
"Lunch time, bud. Which one do you want?"
She holds out both in front of you. You look around. Your sandcastle transforms into your Trump Knapsack.

From far in the distance, a hooded figure watches you.

Health: ?/10
Sanity: ?/10
Inventory: Flashlight (Full Battery), Tree Branch, Plasma Rifle, Pistol, Grappling Hook, Wallet, Green Potion, Black Mirror
Abilities: Bloodsight, Heat Steal x 2

 

[FPLOON]

Wonder if the hooded figure has a Snickers bar... If so, use the Wallet to buy it off the hooded figure... If not, curse the hooded figure using the Black Mirror... This figure's not meeting your demands at that point@

 

[Wary Wolf]

Ask mummy to please cut the apple for you. And say thankyou and give her a kiss on the cheek like a polite little person should.

 

[FPLOON]

Does mummy still miss Dada?

 

[personion]

Wonder if the hooded figure has a Snickers bar... If so, use the Wallet to buy it off the hooded figure... If not, curse the hooded figure using the Black Mirror... This figure's not meeting your demands at that point@

You walk towards the figure and ask if it has any Snickers. The figure stands, silently. You produce your wallet and give it to the figure. As you do, the figure grabs the wallet. He pulls out a License, Donald's driver's license. The figure drops Donald's picture to the ground.
You take the black mirror and point it at him. You see Donald, alive again, within the mirror. The hooded figure disappears.

He reappears far in the distance. You start walking towards the figure again.
As you do, the figure distorts around you. Every step you take towards it makes it seem two steps farther away. You keep walking towards it. Then, you are running towards it. Before long the figure is even farther away from when you started. You are still on the beach, laying on the ground. Your mother walks back up to you. "Sweetie? Which one?"

Ask mummy to please cut the apple for you. And say thankyou and give her a kiss on the cheek like a polite little person should.

You ask for the apple. She smiles kindly and takes out a knife. She cuts into the apple and cuts you a slice. You reach out for the slice but she tosses it aside and hands you the knife instead. "Take it," she says, "you'll need it."

You now have a knife, a thick butcher's blade. She hands you the apple next, an entire apple minus one slice. It shines blood red in your hand.
With your bloodsight, you see that the apple beats like a living heart, and blood pulses within it. "This is the heart of D'Z'Z'Z'Z," she says, "but it is also your heart while inside you. Keep it close."

Does mummy still miss Dada?

"Your father is sick. He doesn't have a cold, sweetie, I mean he's sick in his head. He just wants to destroy. He doesn't like things being normal, being happy. He's crazy.
Don't be like him.
Be like him.
Like him.
Him.
Him.
HIM."

"I miss HIM more and more everyday. But we can't see him again. Do you?
Under?
Stand?
Stand?
Stand up."

You are in a gladiatorial arena. Denizens cheer you on. "The challenger approaches!" yells a man garbed in robes right next to you. "But can they face the might of..."
An enormous sphynx swoops from the sky at you. Its claws narrowly miss your head as you dodge to the side.
"THE SPHYNX!" screeches the host, in a probably historically inaccurate manner.
One of the audience members is the same hooded figure from before.
There are torches all around the arena. Dust and sand litters the ground. The exits to the coliseum are all open, interestingly enough.
The Sphynx flies past you again, this time its claws raking against your back.

Mind Health: 8/10
Inventory: Flashlight (Full Battery), Tree Branch, Plasma Rifle, Pistol, Grappling Hook, Green Potion, Black Mirror, Knife, Heart Apple
Abilities: Bloodsight, Heat Steal x 2

 

[personion]

3 hours. 3 minutes.
The Sphynx swoops down and rakes at your back again.
Mind Health: 6/10.
One of its claws slam into your throat and its mouth edges closer to your face.
"The Undead screech of muck and sorrow;
Of mice and vermin in death burrowed;
Their leader is a woman of pale skin that's just the same;
Her eyes are grey as wormwood;
And her hair is weak as ash;
But her name eludes all harm and good;
And in all the death will catch.
What's your favourite animal?"
You look at the Sphinx blankly. "Answer my riddle," she says, her tail flipping playfully, "or die."

 

[FPLOON]

"Mt ex-girlfriend..." You joke... "She was a real Medusa of a woman!" Laugh before re-asking about the riddle again...

 

[personion]

5 hours. 50 minutes.

"Mt ex-girlfriend..." You joke... "She was a real Medusa of a woman!" Laugh before re-asking about the riddle again...

The Sphynx bites your face. Snakes crawl out of her hair.
Mind Health: 4/10.
"What's wrong with my name?" says the Sphynx.

 

[FPLOON]

"It don't got no jiggle!" You joke... "Or it has no vowels... because 'y' doesn't count!"

 

[Wary Wolf]

Then loudly proclaim that "ZOMBIE PIG!" Totally has vowels in it, four in fact.

"You were my favorite animal!" you cry with unashamed sorrow, tears running down your face, "You sacrificed yourself to save me from D'Z'Z'Z'Z, and totally made out with C'Z'V'B'N."

"I command you one last time. Here in the recesses of my mind, beyond the veil of death and dreams. Come forth champion of oinky justice! Porky hero of the undead swine! Gammon of goodness!"

"Save me from this sphinx and I will release you from the contract that binds you to serve me, giving you final peace in death."

 

[personion]

11 hours. 51 minutes

"It don't got no jiggle!" You joke... "Or it has no vowels... because 'y' doesn't count!"

The Sphynx rips at your face again. Bleeding and bruised you collapse to the ground, choking on blood. The Sphynx whispers at your mouth, "I have plenty of jiggle. And it should be 'sphinx.' "
Mind Health: 1/10

Then loudly proclaim that "ZOMBIE PIG!" Totally has vowels in it, four in fact.

"You were my favorite animal!" you cry with unashamed sorrow, tears running down your face, "You sacrificed yourself to save me from D'Z'Z'Z'Z, and totally made out with C'Z'V'B'N."

"I command you one last time. Here in the recesses of my mind, beyond the veil of death and dreams. Come forth champion of oinky justice! Porky hero of the undead swine! Gammon of goodness!"

"Save me from this sphinx and I will release you from the contract that binds you to serve me, giving you final peace in death."

The Sphynx looks at you blankly. "You were supposed to answer my riddle," she says sadly. "Do you really think--"
All of a sudden your zombie pig appears and begins mauling the Sphynx's face. The Sphynx thrashes up and down, violently.