Claim a planet, then what?

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KoudelkaMorgan

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shadowstriker86 said:
KoudelkaMorgan said:
(Disclaimer: I had an idea and kinda ran with it)

I forget the name of it, but it would look like the planet were Inara is at in Serenity with all the Companions. Its like Naboo without the gungans or any other Starwars stuff.

I'd call it R'lyeh or Eden, or something original that I didn't think of in 3 seconds, and it would be a resort planet with Epicurean and Hedonist values, and artists and pleasure seekers across the galaxy would flock to it for inspiration or satisfaction.

There would be a very strictly enforced set of limited rules that with no exception cannot be broken. Mainly things like no killing, theft, or maiming. The government would consist of a federation of local guildmasters and other business owners with the king or queen essentially being the c.e.o. of the planet as commerce is the main concern.

It would be very much like the planet Guera and its outspace guild from "This Alien Shore" by C.S. Friedman. Which you all should go read if you haven't :p

Very few people are allowed to become full residents of the planet that aren't born there, and having children at all is only allowed on a very carefully considered and limited basis.

This means that there would never be a problem with overcrowding, of their being too many people and not enough meaningless jobs for all of them to waste their lives toiling at so they can afford more useless crap and pass it on to their growing brood of offspring.

Everyone on the planet would eventually belong to an established guild that provides all the tourists with their entertainment. A companion's guild, a pyrotech guild, a metal workers guild, an acrobat guild, casino guild etc.

Because of this fact there would be a very limited number of schools on the planet that are each devoted to the knowledge required of your chosen guild, like we have Majors, only they will actually be good for something after you are done with them. Everyone's tuition would be paid by the ruling oligarchy and obviously obtained from all the tourists spending their money on our "product" as well as the exports that our various artists ship out.

If a graduate chooses to leave the planet and start a family elsewhere and deny the planet their talents they shall be expected to earn enough to pay back their tuition in full as well as a percentage of their earnings in proportion to the rest of their guild's share each year.

Failure to do so, i.e. getting your free education in highly marketable and proprietary guild secrets, and running off to make it big offworld results in a visit from the assassin's guild.

Obviously there would need to be large incentives to get people to join the hero guild to become doctors, firefighters, police etc. so the planet can maintain itself because everyone can't just join the circus so to speak.

Each guild would be competing with the others to produce the most jawdropping and innovative attractions and works of art. The universe would marvel at the beauty of our creations, the skill of our companions, and how our casino games are so much fun to play that they don't even mind losing.

There would be a set limit of how much you could win/lose/play per day, because we aren't out to bankrupt our returning customers. We don't need people on planet with no means of getting off, roaming around looking for action. Those that try to circumvent the guild run casinos and start their own private establishments will regret their entrepreneurial spirit.

Our artisans will be commissioned for works everywhere. They will be hunted and their secrets sought after by every rival, and so they will always be accompanied by guards and receive defense training and torture resistance training and only take jobs off world that cannot feasibly be created and shipped to the installation or otherwise preformed onworld.

The main downside being that we would rely almost entirely on importation for all of our raw materials. We may have architects and sculptors, but we don't have any quarries or mines for the stone and metal. Our chefs would need fresh ingredients so we would of course need extensive gardens and orchards, but we would import our livestock because we aren't going to ruin perfectly good land by letting a bunch of animals crap and trample all over it.

Or we could have a lot of seafood dishes like japan, problem solved.

Since our only real resource is our guild secrets and our products, I can't imagine that anyone would go to war with us just to get at our profits so we probably wouldn't have a dedicated military. It would be like going to war on Las Vegas for the casino's take. Or an art museum, or a brothel, circus etc. Disrupting that much trade, and then trying to control the guilds who will categorically refuse to work for anyone other than the recognized guild czar will get you nothing but the enmity of the rest of the universe that suddenly can't hire a good chef, a good companion, or one of the fine "recreational" products from the alchemists guild. People like their booze and drugs.

Ours would actually be good for you, because we care.

Besides when you are the entertainment capital of the universe, you would probably be more likely to try and bribe your way into becoming a resident, getting your kid enrolled in a guild (and try to learn its secrets) than trying to blow it up. Unless you are from a planet that hates fun, and seeks to stamp it out wherever it can.

Again you would be answering to the rest of the universe. Much like the Witch Queen in another C.S. Friedman series, we would enjoy the protection of more powerful allies because they NEED what only we can provide.

TLDR - PONIES and lasers PEW PEW PEW (not really)
WOW. just. wow. An amazing amount of detail, sounds like a tv series too lol
I used to write a lot, and read a lot. That + boredom = what you saw I did thar lol
 

Saladfork

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I would get a life-sustaining planet that nobody really cared about (desert maybe) and industrialize the hell out of it until it was like a corascaunt of factories. Since I don't care about pollution and I can mine wherever I want for resources and/or fuel, I should be able to turn this place into an industrial powerhouse, whose economic strength I lever into political strength, ingraining myself into the intersteller community as, if not the figurehead, then the man behind the man.

If that doesn't work out, I can always turn my industry to matters of war and build tons of ships too quickly to be stopped by all the people who wanted nice planets, then go take theirs.

This plan is of course assuming that I live for several generations. Maybe I'll have my brain transferrred to a computer or something (hey, we ARE in space after all).
 

Nouw

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Mar 18, 2009
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Nuke it from orbit, just for the lulz! We need to start somewhere, right?
 

phreakdb

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There are three options that I would go with. Each of them is awesome in their own right.
Arakkis. Dune. Wasteland of the empire, and the most valuable planet in the universe, because it is only here, that Spice is found. Without it, there is no commerce in the empire. There is no civilization.

Arakkis. Dune. Home of the Spice. Greatest treasure in the universe. He who controls it, controls our Destiny.


Considering that most everything needs some form of a spice to work, I would imagine that ultimately this planet would be the most powerful in the universe.

Also, add to your to do list: Rewatch the Dune Miniseries while thinking of the proposition for space travel created within this thread. My sides are still hurting just from the idea.

Gor. Yes. I said it. Gor. Deal with it.Eye bleach nor brain bleach will help you! You can't unthink it or unsee it!

Find a post-apoc society of non space faring people that rely on guns with chainsaws and constantly have to fight green skinned... invaders. After conducting surveillance upon their society for at least two weeks, I download the information from my probes to my computer, who then compiles it and begins probability analysis on everything, even the most simple and insignificant events.

I reveal myself as the greatest Psyker this people has ever known, as my now positronic matrix brain can directly interface with CorGlados through direct up-link. I share with them the secrets of space travel, as well as technological innovations. I then have them build me a Golden Throne to rest my cybernetically enhanced body on and set up a jihadistic theocracy where in I am the God Emperor.
 

Zanderinfal

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Well, if in the Universe there are statistically infinite possibilities, then I would have a PMC or any sort of company span out into space until they find a sizable planet, colonize it and make a huge orbital disco ball over the planet so that at concerts the performers can use it.

I fucking love my imagination sometimes.
 

Evil Smurf

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Nov 11, 2011
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Esotera said:
Ah god, it would be so hilarious if humanity finally made it into space on the backs of morbidly obese men gorging on tacos.

I'd probably go to Alpha Centauri or a few of the moons in our solar system that look like they might inhabit life, and see if there's anything there. If not, time to begin the slow process of terraforming it.
look out for mindworms bro
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/18615638/images/1333847921389.gif

I would be Gaia's boyfriend/husband a we would rule the planet together!
 

Trippy Turtle

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May 10, 2010
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If I can edit it then I will choose a small planet, make it green and with lots of really clear water.
I will then set everything on fire just to let everyone know only its the most badass planet ever.
 

Thaluikhain

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Jan 16, 2010
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Technically that's not legally possible, there's a rule against claiming things in space.

Though, this is likely to last about 5 minutes after someone could make it worthwhile to claim something in space.

Also, IIRC, someone did lay claim to all of space already, only nobody cared.
 

Zack Alklazaris

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Oct 6, 2011
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Honestly I am a big fan of Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri so I would head there first to see if I could find the living self aware planet called "Planet".
Evil Smurf said:
Esotera said:
Ah god, it would be so hilarious if humanity finally made it into space on the backs of morbidly obese men gorging on tacos.

I'd probably go to Alpha Centauri or a few of the moons in our solar system that look like they might inhabit life, and see if there's anything there. If not, time to begin the slow process of terraforming it.
look out for mindworms bro
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/18615638/images/1333847921389.gif

I would be Gaia's boyfriend/husband a we would rule the planet together!
If you treat em right they generally leave you alone :) Just don't use the planet busters... they don't like those. And especially don't swop out the power plant with a black hole power plant... it just gets ugly.

I would be all over Academician Prokhor Zakharov, love science.
 

DoomyMcDoom

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I would go to a planet where perfect cloning and self replicating nanobots exist, I would then build an unstoppable army of personal regenerating nanobot formed clones, and take over the rest of the known universe, that way every planet would be ruled by me... I would still let all of you pretty well do what you want, all I would want is the title of "GREAT AND POWERFUL UNIVERSAL EMPEROR DOOMYMCDOOM!" and such, then I'd just chill on the beaches of this perfectly climate regulated planet with my homies, and drink beers, and smoke ganja 'til the end of time... because my nanobot reinforced body would never die from the deterioration of age over time.
 

chadachada123

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Jan 17, 2011
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A carbon planet orbiting a binary star system but well within the Goldilocks Zone. Luckily for me, the planet was hit by a pretty large ice/water planet just after its formation, making it rich in water, kinda like Earth.

On top of this, the surface of the planet is covered in fucking diamond.

I'm pretty much set.

The only worry are the simple-but-deadly forms of life on the surface of the planet.
 

AnotherAvatar

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Sep 18, 2011
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Daystar Clarion said:
Straight to Mars.

Get Prothean Technology.

Charge people to use Mass Relays.

???

Profit!
I like where you're going, but "charge people to use mass relays" was really your "???".
For maximum comedic effect it should go like this:

1) Straight to Mars
2) Get Prothean technology.
3) ???
4) Profit!


See what I mean?



I'm sort of a lazy introvert (when not motivated to do shit by my desire to sleep with beautiful women), so I'd probably just go to a planet and hermit it up, Yoda style. Fuck other people, fuck my own culture, I just want to go somewhere where I can spend my days playing video games and making music.

Then maybe millions of years later settlers will come to my planet thinking it's empty only to find the vast ruins of a phoney culture I spent my last senile years building. A culture that will have appeared to have worshiped dionysian euphoria, deep bass, and lasers.
 

NathLines

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Daystar Clarion said:
Straight to Mars.

Get Prothean Technology.

Charge people to use Mass Relays.

???

Profit!
And of course Daystar just comes along and openly admits that he will bring about the destruction of all sentient life in the universe. WHY WON'T SOMEONE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!?

Ayway, whatever planet I claim is going to have way less water than our planet. No bigass, creepy, unexplored oceans filled with scaly monsters and old ones. Also, my planet will dedicate all its resources to searching the corners of the universe for space elves. Because bumping space elves is the only thing that matters. Mass Effect taught me that.
 
Dec 14, 2009
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AnotherAvatar said:
Daystar Clarion said:
Straight to Mars.

Get Prothean Technology.

Charge people to use Mass Relays.

???

Profit!
I like where you're going, but "charge people to use mass relays" was really your "???".
For maximum comedic effect it should go like this:

1) Straight to Mars
2) Get Prothean technology.
3) ???
4) Profit!


See what I mean?



I'm sort of a lazy introvert (when not motivated to do shit by my desire to sleep with beautiful women), so I'd probably just go to a planet and hermit it up, Yoda style. Fuck other people, fuck my own culture, I just want to go somewhere where I can spend my days playing video games and making music.

Then maybe millions of years later settlers will come to my planet thinking it's empty only to find the vast ruins of a phoney culture I spent my last senile years building. A culture that will have appeared to have worshiped dionysian euphoria, deep bass, and lasers.
You make a good point...

It does make more sense that way. I'll edit it now.
 

Thomiroth

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Mar 17, 2011
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I'd look for a planet that would be similar to the world seen in Princess Mononoke. Covered in dense forests, filled with giant sized intelligent beasts and natural magic, both beautiful and quietly peaceful.

My friends and family would be welcome to join me in my wooded wonderland, and in some cases, would be encouraged to do so. We would hone our survival skills, our hunting skills and learn the worlds magic. Our society would then focus on toughening itself to the point where any one of my people could survive as long as needed, alone, in any environment. We would glory in the thrill of the hunt, seeking ever stronger opponents to pit our skills against.

Then, we would go to other planets and learn their environments, creatures and secrets, again seeking better prey.

So, anyone interested in joining? :D
 

Palfreyfish

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Mar 18, 2011
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halofreak123 said:
Well, if in the Universe there are statistically infinite possibilities, then I would have a PMC or any sort of company span out into space until they find a sizable planet, colonize it and make a huge orbital disco ball over the planet so that at concerts the performers can use it.

I fucking love my imagination sometimes.
I'd have to go one better.

1. Find the planet that's entirely made of diamond.

2. Get some very big diamond cutting tools

3. Polish

4. ???

5. GIANT SPACE DISCO BALL.

(Then have festivals that span solar systems for the rest of time.)
 

rayman56

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Mar 14, 2012
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I'd find a planet with ideal settings for life, and then place a single cell organism upon the planet, and then see what developes within the next 300 million years. We've invented time travel by this time, right?
 

Pete1001

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shadowstriker86 said:
Suppose someone figured out that if feed a fat guy 4 bottles of tapatio, a 12-box of hot pockets and a habanero pepper, whatever he farts out is going to be rocket fuel potent enough to travel to mars in about 30 minutes. So now everyone builds their own ships and flies out in all directions to either explore or conquer and you've decided to do the latter. And now you've found it, the perfect planet for you and your friends to call home, what now? What kind of planet is it? What do you name it? TELL US!
Assuming the average distance of Mars and Earth*, that comes out at about... half the speed of light? Quite impressive for a hypercharged digestive tract, but still limited to our solar system for any reasonable arrival times. With that in mind, Id fly off to Europa (the Jupiter moon) and set up a refueling station (low gravity + abundance of water (=> hydrogen and oxygen) = awesome) so that we dont have to use fat guys for space travel anymore. Also to make all the money ever.

*note that this distance is very variable