College seems lonely...

[Unesh52]

I just moved in here at Georgia State University in Atlanta this past Friday. My roommates are nice and I even got to go rock climbing with one of them, and his friends. There have been 100 parties and socials and "ice-breakers," but I just haven't made any friends yet. Despite there being some 30,000 and change students here, I've met all of one person who likes video games. There's plenty of sports nuts and outdoors-men around, and I can't identify with either group. Not to mention I always feel intimidated around attractive, physically fit, popular people. It's just that I think it's weak that my roommates seem to have a sizable group from within which they can always find someone to go out with. And I always walk to the parties alone. I miss all my friends from high school. I'm posting because I feel a little lonely right now, is all.

I'm honestly expecting it to get a lot better once class starts and I'll have an excuse to hang around with some folks until they start to like me, so I'm not really that worried. Well, a little worried. Can any escapists out there relate? Did you go through this when you were in college? Are you now? What helps?

 

[Instinct Blues]

Well I'll be moving in to start college next week and I have to say I'm a little nervous but hey who isn't. I already know a few people and my sister went to the same college and some of her friends are still there so if I have a problem I'm sure I can ask my sister to ask them to help me with it. I'm not really worried about making friends I'm just going to be myself and if people like they like me if they don't oh well. Oh and I'm not like really good friends with the people I know just sort of aquaintances. I'm just worried about how much of a leap its going to be going from high school to college because I breezed through high school not a care in the world but college can't be that easy. Can it?

 

[Hollyosaur]

Sweetie, I wont worry too much about it. It's normal to feel like that. It'll pass.

As for your insecurities; treat it like a new start! It is. Trust me, I was like that last year. You'll be fine.

Also, feel free to private mail me if you want

xx

 

[Soulgaunt]

Wow, that sucks.
I haven't been to college yet, although I always had a feeling that it wouldn't be the happiest kind of place. Well, hope that ends well for you.

 

[T-Bone24]

Remember: the hardest part of a conversation is "Hello". Get past that and friends will be destroying your furniture to get a chance to talk to you.

 

[Rainbowloid]

Trust me, I know exactly how you feel. I'm starting my sophomore year of college in a couple of days and I have exactly zero friends I get to see again. Joining clubs didn't help, trying to talk to people in class didn't help, following my roommate to social things didn't help... I'll be keeping an eye on this thread, 'cuz if anyone has any good advice for you, I'd very much like to hear it.

 

[AgentNein]

I can't speak for everyone, but the college I went to had people from all different walks of life. It didn't take me long to find those like minded (just had to you know, seek it out). Just don't go hermetical, keep friendly and you should be fine.

Granted, I'm an artist/musician and I went to a school that had its strength in the arts and was filled with artists/musicians, so it might've been stacked in my favor a bit. But I think you'll be fine.

 

[manythings]

College does suck ass like that and I am the same guy as you. So I guess all I can say is (Honest I don't want to condescend and this kinda sounds like crap from a coming of age movie) people at college are willing to be your friends and you're the only person worth knowing who is looking in the mirror and seeing "That person you were in high school". It's going to involve sucking up a lot of fear and the douchebags will make themselves known pretty quick.

Also people who are going to be gone before the end of the year are probably people you don't want to be friends with, not judging but... it kinda holds true.

EDIT: Probably going to have a clubs and societies day before the end of the first month so that will be pretty helpful too.

 

[Frontastic]

I had a similar time when I started college last year (though in terms of numbers, I'd say my college is about a third of the size, 30,000?! Sweet jesus...).

But, yeah just stick with it, give it a few weeks. Like you said you'll get to know people in your classes and eventually gamers will emerge. I'm there must be some kind of gaming club/society in the college?

Stick with it, it'll all work out.

 

[Frog_Girl]

I went to a vocational college located near the city I grew up in so never had the college loneliness, But I moved away from home two years ago. That was lonely and it's only gotten worse since my one sister went to college and my other two joined the army. I never really had close friends in high school and when we stopped talking after graduation it didn't bother me. I was always super close with my little sisters, now ones at bootcamp 1000 miles away and the only way i can talk to her is through snail mail, the other on just got deployed to South Korea and is 13 hours ahead of our time and the other in college is so busy with school and her job she never has time talk. I feel your pain.

 

[Xojins]

Try to go out with your roommates, there's nothing wrong with being friends with them. Also I found that a good way to meet new people is to bum a cigarette off people outside your dorm (if you smoke cigarettes ever, that is).

 

[Thebiggestpanda]

It sounds like you dont really wanna be arround people who have wildly different interests than you? thats perfectly fine but remember that college is the place to mingle with tons of people you wouldnt normally talk to. take this opportunity to try new things, experiment, and get interested in new stuff.

 

[Communist partisan]

Depends on whos your room mate. BOOSH!

 

[Nickolai77]

Yey, welcome to my world!

[/sarc]

Sounds like you have similar problems like me. I have finished my 1st year of university and throughout i've been disappointed, and at a number of times depressed, that i haven't found many friends into the whole video games/internets/heavy metal/anime lark...Sure i have "friends", but i carn't relate to them because most of them are the same kinds of people which you describe in the OP: Sporty, outdoors types who have never touched a video games controller and wouldn't know a meme if it hit them. As you can imagine, i have not found university as amazing and wonderful as everyone else has. Best years of your life? Lol.

My advise to you OP is that i recommend you join a society. Video Games club, anime society, rock or heavy metal society, that kind of thing really. My big regret is not joining these at the start of the year, and since your year is just beginning, i urge you to do that.

Edit: That advise also goes to anyone else who feels they may be in a similar situation to the Op

 

[2fish]

I ignored the school party things, I only went to the ones when the RA's caught me and said you have to go or else. I made my friends in class or at some random point at the college. Lunch room is always fun to find people.

I met girls in political science, philosophy, and anthropology. My school had a casino night, where we played for tickets and a chance to win prizes, go to those. Everyone is in a fun mood and you all get stuck in at the same table.

I know your pain, now ignore your fear and jump in.

P.S. Don't do anything too stupid, as some of my ex roomates found out there are lines and crossing them is bad .

 

[arcade109]

I go to college next week and Im gonna have the same troubles. Hang in there man, were feeling your pain

 

[Unesh52]

Sweetie, I wont worry too much about it. It's normal to feel like that. It'll pass.

As for your insecurities; treat it like a new start! It is. Trust me, I was like that last year. You'll be fine.

Also, feel free to private mail me if you want

xx

I don't know why, but just you using the word "sweetie" makes me feel a bit better :3

Trust me, I know exactly how you feel. I'm starting my sophomore year of college in a couple of days and I have exactly zero friends I get to see again. Joining clubs didn't help, trying to talk to people in class didn't help, following my roommate to social things didn't help... I'll be keeping an eye on this thread, 'cuz if anyone has any good advice for you, I'd very much like to hear it.

Discouraging, but let's hope both of our social lives take a turn for the better.

You know, it occurs to me that I almost never did things with even my best friends in high school outside of school. We were all in the drama program together, so we got to see each other all the time, but I've never become versed in simple things like calling somebody up to go to a movie, or god forbid "just to hang out." Maybe that's my real problem. Rainbowloid made me think of that.

Also, GSU is known as one of the most socially diverse campuses anywhere. There are students from every county in GA, every state in the US, and in the order of 159 different countries. But for all the talk of "opening our eyes to knew horizons" and shit, I can barely find anyone to relate to. It's hardly changing your world view when it's happening every 30 seconds, so I feel a bit slighted that I've been given so much opportunity to meet people who are wildly different from me, but almost no one who's the same.

 

[Hollyosaur]

Sweetie, I wont worry too much about it. It's normal to feel like that. It'll pass.

As for your insecurities; treat it like a new start! It is. Trust me, I was like that last year. You'll be fine.

Also, feel free to private mail me if you want

xx

I don't know why, but just you using the word "sweetie" makes me feel a bit better :3

That's what I'm here for. Glad to know I made a little bit of a difference x

 

[Pipotchi]

Dont worry mate, it will all work out, just dont retreat into a shell, get involved in societies and clubs that interest you and when you start classes you will be good to go.

Best years of your life ahead of you

 

[Lissa-QUON]

Enh hilariously enough I remember being more lonely in a huge state state school than in a tiny school. But yea I've been lonely and friendless at college, it's not that fun. Especially when you want to murder your roommate.

That said, hanging around the common rooms (in your dorm or the student center) you'll meet lots of folks, some of them you might even get along with.

Talk to folks in your classes, though I noticed I tend to have more common interests with folks in my major focus classes than otherwise.

Clubs and societies are awesome, even if you don't find people who are friends you can at least hang out with them and maybe meet people in extended social circles that might be more to your tastes.

Trying to find folks who are gamers? Hang around the student centers, see if anyone plays a DS or something. Also I remember sometimes the dorms around us would have Guitar Hero competitions and such occasionally. Maybe your dorms will have similar events.