College seems lonely...

[Polaris19]

I may not go to that school but I'll be your friend.

You shouldnt feel inadequate. Everyone has different abilities and talents and not all of us are physically beautiful but that shouldn't matter. Introduce yourself to people, even i you dont think they'd be friends with you. People can surprise you.

 

[Necator15]

Sweetie, I wont worry too much about it. It's normal to feel like that. It'll pass.

As for your insecurities; treat it like a new start! It is. Trust me, I was like that last year. You'll be fine.

Also, feel free to private mail me if you want

xx

That about sums it up. Except I would've been more sarcastic about it

You are right about things getting easier once class starts though. Especially if they're classes you enjoy, because just about everything in college is a choice, you'll find like-minded people.
Also it's generally easier to introduce yourself to people who you know the name of, and that usually gets brought up in class. (At least, that's how it works for me.)

The hardest part is putting yourself out there, but once you do, you may find you become friends with people you would never have thought you would be friends with.

Also, don't get discouraged if it takes a while to make friends. Took me about half a semester, maybe 3/4 of a semester to start making a lot of friends.

 

[Hollyosaur]

Sweetie, I wont worry too much about it. It's normal to feel like that. It'll pass.

As for your insecurities; treat it like a new start! It is. Trust me, I was like that last year. You'll be fine.

Also, feel free to private mail me if you want

xx

That about sums it up. Except I would've been more sarcastic about it

You are right about things getting easier once class starts though. Especially if they're classes you enjoy, because just about everything in college is a choice, you'll find like-minded people.
Also it's generally easier to introduce yourself to people who you know the name of, and that usually gets brought up in class. (At least, that's how it works for me.)

The hardest part is putting yourself out there, but once you do, you may find you become friends with people you would never have thought you would be friends with.

Also, don't get discouraged if it takes a while to make friends. Took me about half a semester, maybe 3/4 of a semester to start making a lot of friends.

I wasn't being sarcastic about it. Sorry if it came across that way. I was genuinely trying to help.

But I agree with your advice

 

[Watershed]

I'm sure you'll find some friends soon. When I started university I made friends with people in my building really quickly, but it took me a while to make good friends on my course. It made sitting in classes quite lonely... I did eventually though, and they're still some of my best friends 2 years after finishing when we're all scattered around the UK.

It'll happen for you, don't worry about it. Just make sure you take the opportunity to talk to people when classes start.

 

[Unesh52]

P.S. Don't do anything too stupid, as some of my ex roomates found out there are lines and crossing them is bad .

I'm intrigued. I can has story?

That said, hanging around the common rooms (in your dorm or the student center) you'll meet lots of folks, some of them you might even get along with.

Trying to find folks who are gamers? Hang around the student centers, see if anyone plays a DS or something. Also I remember sometimes the dorms around us would have Guitar Hero competitions and such occasionally. Maybe your dorms will have similar events.

I like these ideas. Although one thing I've noticed when I try to talk about games with people I meet is that they like to get my hopes up by saying they love them, then let me down when they tell me all they play is Wii fit or whatever. It's always really awkward because I want to go, "oh, you play those kind of games."

 

[Robby Foxfur]

don't worry man, its hard leaving everything behind and starting over, but soon you'll make new friends and have new things to do, and you won't feel that way anymore. you also do have everyone here on the escapist to talk to, and who knows maybe there are even some people on here that go to your school

 

[AquaAscension]

I could tell you stories about how alone I felt throughout my time in college, but I'd rather focus on how I changed that from feeling alone to having groups of people to hang out with.

I'm pretty sociable now, but I wasn't way back when. I went to a small school (only 900 residents, but an overall student base of 8,000 I think). When I got there, I decided that I had to do as much stuff as I possibly could, get involved. So, I checked out this small organization called RHA (Residence Halls Association) which turned out to have connections. This organization may have been small on my campus, but virtually every other school has an RHA and these organizations meet every year for conferencing and craziness. I highly recommend checking out your school's residents' programs if at all possible - it forces you to meet people which is awesome, or it was for me.

Second, join a club or two, or three or five. I was the leader of 2 clubs, one dedicated to martial arts training, and the other dedicated to just messing around on playgrounds in a game called "Groundies: The Playground Ninja Game." I was also an officer for the aforementioned RHA, the not aforementioned Film Club, and poetry club (which introduced me to the magic of Slam Poetry - a now great passion of mine).

Bottom line, try to find people to hang out with who are, at first, similar to you in interest. Then as you get more comfortable, find other people and try out their interests. It's a win all around because the other people get your company, and you get theirs. Take some time to do some research about stuff that's going on at your campus; mine was small and I found a crap ton of opportunities for friendships; your campus is massive, so I think you'll do just fine.

 

[Erana]

Your identity isn't video games. Throw yourself into whatever you're studying that appeals to you most if you need a subject through which to communicate to others with.
Nevertheless, if you want to draw people into your own entertainment, I suggest trying what I did in college: park yourself in the dorm lounge, have some up-for-grabs snacks or candies, and play an easy-to-mock video game.
Final Fantasy games are especially good to lampoon; a bunch of us would crowd around one of my friends (whom I didn't encounter until my junior year unfortunately) and we'd eat popcorn and drink hot cocoa from my snack stash and point out the impracticality of their vehicles, the androgeny of the protagonists, and of course, count off how many times the game tries to shove the battlethong of that bunny chick from FF12 in our faces.
Just make sure not to push a joke or reach out for their attention- pretend you're training a wild bird to eat from your hand. Just let them come to you.

Still, I think the highschool jitters take a bit of time to wear off, and the top dogs of their 12th grade social group get over themselves. Just stay afloat in your studies, and people will come to respect you for it.
Oh, and don't judge people. Other than the occasional complete jerk, people will start to come to you for your sense of calm and sanity if they think that you're not going to be critical of their quirks.

 

[Necator15]

Sweetie, I wont worry too much about it. It's normal to feel like that. It'll pass.

As for your insecurities; treat it like a new start! It is. Trust me, I was like that last year. You'll be fine.

Also, feel free to private mail me if you want

xx

That about sums it up. Except I would've been more sarcastic about it

You are right about things getting easier once class starts though. Especially if they're classes you enjoy, because just about everything in college is a choice, you'll find like-minded people.
Also it's generally easier to introduce yourself to people who you know the name of, and that usually gets brought up in class. (At least, that's how it works for me.)

The hardest part is putting yourself out there, but once you do, you may find you become friends with people you would never have thought you would be friends with.

Also, don't get discouraged if it takes a while to make friends. Took me about half a semester, maybe 3/4 of a semester to start making a lot of friends.

I wasn't being sarcastic about it. Sorry if it came across that way. I was genuinely trying to help.

But I agree with your advice

Oh, no I wasn't implying that. I was saying that I would have been sarcastic instead of nice about it. I was just joking around. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

 

[2fish]

P.S. Don't do anything too stupid, as some of my ex roomates found out there are lines and crossing them is bad .

I'm intrigued. I can has story?

Well the best was the guy across the hall in the fresh meat dorm, he hung a bunch of beer cans from a fire sprinkler with an official letter from the school with his name on it. It was a dry hall, he was under age, and he pretty much signed his name on the thing.

I had a roommate that thought he could lie about me to make his girlfriend happy (she owned his self respect, testicles and brain by that point). We had some mutual friends at that point. Long story short he told some tales to the school got me in shit, lost a lot of friends. He followed girl to another school where she dumped him.

Then there was the guy who earns points for trying to be a good roomie. But when he was drunk he was funny and loud. One time he was sure he was a ninja (he was a damn loud ninja) and since it was 4am on a school night I was asleep (damn my senior paper). He was "sneaking" through the room as his friends tried to get him to sleep on the sofa. Then he would loudly remind them to be quiet as his roommates were asleep and that he was a ninja. He snuck out of the room two or three times and his friends had to catch him and bring him back.

I also saw my mix of clean freaks and people who never met a shower in their life.

 

[SimuLord]

If Georgia State's full of frat boys and slutty sorority girls and you can't find anyone to relate to, you may want to consider changing schools---there are academic schools and party schools and it sounds like GSU might be the latter.

I'm at Nevada (go Wolf Pack!) and I've found friendships easy to come by because there are enough people on campus (especially in the College of Business) who gravitate toward clever students who know their way around classroom material. Sure, there are a bunch of blockheads, but any cross-section of young people (or in my case old farts) will have its share of those.

 

[Unesh52]

If Georgia State's full of frat boys and slutty sorority girls and you can't find anyone to relate to, you may want to consider changing schools---there are academic schools and party schools and it sounds like GSU might be the latter.

I'm at Nevada (go Wolf Pack!) and I've found friendships easy to come by because there are enough people on campus (especially in the College of Business) who gravitate toward clever students who know their way around classroom material. Sure, there are a bunch of blockheads, but any cross-section of young people (or in my case old farts) will have its share of those.

I was thinking about changing anyway in a year or two, but the school I had in mind might even be worse off in that respect. More importantly, do you have a rat on your shoulder?

P.S. Don't do anything too stupid, as some of my ex roomates found out there are lines and crossing them is bad .

I'm intrigued. I can has story?

snip

The ninja one was my favorite Thankfully the people on my floor seem a lot more sane than that.

Second, join a club or two, or three or five. I was the leader of 2 clubs, one dedicated to martial arts training, and the other dedicated to just messing around on playgrounds in a game called "Groundies: The Playground Ninja Game." I was also an officer for the aforementioned RHA, the not aforementioned Film Club, and poetry club (which introduced me to the magic of Slam Poetry - a now great passion of mine).

All of that sounds completely insane (in a good way), especially the bolded bit. I think I need to look up some playgrounds around here and contact the clubs and associations office...

But I happen to know I can get involved with my RHA, and I think I will.

snip

This, like the above, sounds like a fun ass way of meeting new people. Unfortunately, I had to leave my system at home. With my TV. That's another reason I'm looking so hard for fellow gamers -- so I'll at least be able to play, even if we don't do much else with each other.

 

[Jjtricky]

Enh hilariously enough I remember being more lonely in a huge state state school than in a tiny school. But yea I've been lonely and friendless at college, it's not that fun. Especially when you want to murder your roommate.

That said, hanging around the common rooms (in your dorm or the student center) you'll meet lots of folks, some of them you might even get along with.

Ok, so there are loads of bedrooms called a "dorm", right? And a common room is where people of said dorm socialise. So what do you call the whole structure?

Obviously, I have never seen a college, and this post seems REALLY idiotic

 

[BlumiereBleck]

College is lonely at first but then you take the classes and meet people.

 

[Unesh52]

Enh hilariously enough I remember being more lonely in a huge state state school than in a tiny school. But yea I've been lonely and friendless at college, it's not that fun. Especially when you want to murder your roommate.

That said, hanging around the common rooms (in your dorm or the student center) you'll meet lots of folks, some of them you might even get along with.

Ok, so there are loads of bedrooms called a "dorm", right? And a common room is where people of said dorm socialise. So what do you call the whole structure?

Obviously, I have never seen a college, and this post seems REALLY idiotic

I think you go a bit far calling the post itself idiotic... but yeah, sometimes the vernacular describing a lot of the facilities around campus can be confusing and redundant. Nonetheless, I know what he's going on about, so it's ok.

 

[Mr. Omega]

Man, I'm moving on campus this Saturday. Thanks for making me nervous... but based on what I've read, things get better in time. This is a slight releif...

 

[Kurokami]

I just moved in here at Georgia State University in Atlanta this past Friday. My roommates are nice and I even got to go rock climbing with one of them, and his friends. There have been 100 parties and socials and "ice-breakers," but I just haven't made any friends yet. Despite there being some 30,000 and change students here, I've met all of one person who likes video games. There's plenty of sports nuts and outdoors-men around, and I can't identify with either group. Not to mention I always feel intimidated around attractive, physically fit, popular people. It's just that I think it's weak that my roommates seem to have a sizable group from within which they can always find someone to go out with. And I always walk to the parties alone. I miss all my friends from high school. I'm posting because I feel a little lonely right now, is all.

I'm honestly expecting it to get a lot better once class starts and I'll have an excuse to hang around with some folks until they start to like me, so I'm not really that worried. Well, a little worried. Can any escapists out there relate? Did you go through this when you were in college? Are you now? What helps?

Yeah, I occasionally see some of my friends, but non in lectures and so on. I have a real hard time 'opening' up to people to, so socializing is a bit of a *****. I've made a few 'acquaintances' with which I'm on good terms with, but that's about it. That doesn't really bother me though, what bothers me is that I'm becoming distant from my friends when we used to be real close.

Oh, and here people seem to be really goddamn antisocial, not just me. You'll walk to your class and people are afraid to say so much as a 'thank you' when you open the door for them and what not.

 

[Nayr]

Hey as a third year trust me it gets better, at first it is intimidating but once classes start it will get much better. Just dont skip events, i missed a lot of my frosh stuff because i was to shy to go to them. ALso because i preferred to play brawl lol. But i really regret missing all those events. Just put yourself out there and while thats not easy it does get better.

 

[Jasper Jeffs]

I'm only starting University in September, but I'm staying at home. When I was in college though for 2 years I spent all of that time on my own, none of my mates went to the same place, and I didn't speak to anyone in class, or contribute to lessons for that matter, I went through most days without even saying one word to anyone. I spent all of my free periods in the library and honestly, I liked it.

I don't like being on my own, or at least I didn't. Now, I don't mind. You might not be like me though, but I'm just saying the time you spend alone might not be all that bad.