Coming out to your family and friends.

[retyopy]

Now, before anyone gets the wrong impression, I am not gay. I am simply interested in what it is like.

So, share your stories! And stuff!

 

[retyopy]

I guess I can share the story of one of my friends mothers. She was in a hotel with her brother when he just came out and said, "Julie, I'm gay." and she said, "great, so am I!"

Good times.

 

[Chasing-The-Light]

I didn't have nearly as good of a coming out as that. My mother basically asked me, "Are you gay?" and for years I said no, because I knew how disappointed she would be. But last year I met a girl who made all that fear of what my mother would say worth the risk. So when my mom asked me, "Are you and her..... girlfriend-girlfriend?" I just said, "Yep." And my mom said, "Really?" And I said yes again. Then there was a long silence which proceeded in my mom saying that she thought it a phase and that she was disappointed in me. Meh. Not worst that could happen, but that's mine.

 

[Daffy F]

I didn't have nearly as good of a coming out as that. My mother basically asked me, "Are you gay?" and for years I said no, because I knew how disappointed she would be. But last year I met a girl who made all that fear of what my mother would say worth the risk. So when my mom asked me, "Are you and her..... girlfriend-girlfriend?" I just said, "Yep." And my mom said, "Really?" And I said yes again. Then there was a long silence which proceeded in my mom saying that she thought it a phase and that she was disappointed in me. Meh. Not worst that could happen, but that's mine.

That must have been sad for you :/ Although I have heard of people being thrown out because of their homosexuality, so I guess it could have been worse. She'll just have to learn to accept who you are. It might take her some time, but hopefully she will understand that it's part of who you are.

 

[Zombie_Fish]

This is rather coincidental, as I literally just came out to my parents earlier this evening.

I had been contemplating it for about two weeks anyway since I told the members of my University's LGBTsoc that only two people knew about it at that point,[footnote]That was a funny story actually, but I'll tell that one in a later part of this post.[/footnote] and so I've been wanting to do it since but didn't really know how. It got to the point that when my dad and his fiancee (I would say girlfriend but they've been together long enough for it to not seem suitable) came down last week, I was kind of hoping they would notice the society handbook on my desk and ask then, but that didn't happen. So in the end, I just made two phone calls, first to my mum and then another to my dad. We talked about how Uni was going first, both the course and various other societies I joined, and then I just told them.

I think I was rather lucky with my parents; they weren't disappointed in me at all and my dad even congratulated me for being brave enough to come out. Both of my parents are very liberal, my mum's sister is a lesbian, one of her flatmates for two years at Uni is gay, my dad's fiancee's nephew is gay and some of our family's closest friends are openly gay as well, so me telling them that I had been bi since June-July this year wasn't that bad. Sure, they were a bit shocked but they still took it very well and are happy to hear me come out. As a result, I was so relieved by the end of that second phone call.

As for the two guys I mentioned, I had known them for six years already so I didn't mind telling them, but that wasn't the main reason for me coming out to them. Basically, I don't mind telling someone if they simply ask, but I'm hopeless with just telling them out loud (part of the reason why it took so long to tell my parents). Anyway, these two guys I was sharing a room with one night, and they decided to try and figure out if there was anyone I had a crush on at that moment. So they listed a bunch of girls that we knew, and then one of them said "Wait, what if he likes guys as well?" So they asked and I told them. So then after some talking about it one of them said something along the lines of "Well, that doubles the amount of possible crushes."

I also keep trying to drop hints to my housemates. I've told all of them that I'm in the LGBTsoc -- I even told one of them what that stood for -- and I still think they haven't figured it out yet. I may just have to bring a man home at this rate.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

I'm not gay myself, nor do I have any stories from friends or family, but I know that no coming out could ever be as awesome as this one...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=G6WjIrUEhHo

 

[Thaa'ir]

Well...I kind of freaked out. I had been taught by leaders in my life, though not my parents, that being gay was evil to the core. All my friends were homophobes, especially my best friend.

After having a few months where only my closest friends knew, I basically finished an English essay one day, got pissed because I was tired, and said "If I write a letter and leave it on the table, not only will I be done with this hiding, but I won't have to go to school tomorrow!"

This was the moment when I realized that I am evil to the core.

So I wrote a letter in Comic Sans MS font...16 point, and it was eight pages long. I just explained how I knew, how long I'd known, the process, and told them how much I loved them.

My dad was shell-shocked. Completely. He took a while to get over the shock, but after that, he basically stood up and said nothing could ever change that I'm his son whom he loves and that one's sexuality doesn't matter.

My mom was like "it's not the way God intended it." To which I said: "Then your God can wise up." That brought a gasp as I walked out of the room.

My friends? Bah. They didn't care. One gained a lot of respect for me, and Hannah, one of my few friends who is a girl, instantly compared tastes in men with me. She has bad taste, but I love her anyways.

Hell, one of my closest friends is a conservative Christian Marine...in the end, I lucked out. I am really grateful for that.

I hope a day comes when no one has to suffer for being gay. But that is probably foolish optimism.

Edit: My best friend, by the way, started crying and kicked me out of his house. But when his dad turned against me, my friend got really defensive and angry at his dad and started to rapidly liberalize in reaction. Now he has loads of gay friends.

 

[Lucifus]

My coming out was interesting. Mum asked me countless times every week if I was gay (taking the piss) until one day I just thought sod it and told her.

Mum was upset for a few days but ten years later everythings fine.


Lost a few mates but nobody particularly close.

 

[Actual]

I also keep trying to drop hints to my housemates. I've told all of them that I'm in the LGBTsoc -- I even told one of them what that stood for -- and I still think they haven't figured it out yet. I may just have to bring a man home at this rate.

I'm sure after that he realises you're not entirely straight, he'd have to be pretty dense not to.

In that situation I probably wouldn't react, one so I seem super cool and perceptive, like maybe I already knew, and two because I'm sure no-one wants to hear "OH MY GAWD YOU'RE GAY!?"

 

[retyopy]

This is rather coincidental, as I literally just came out to my parents earlier this evening.

I had been contemplating it for about two weeks anyway since I told the members of my University's LGBTsoc that only two people knew about it at that point,[footnote]That was a funny story actually, but I'll tell that one in a later part of this post.[/footnote] and so I've been wanting to do it since but didn't really know how. It got to the point that when my dad and his fiancee (I would say girlfriend but they've been together long enough for it to not seem suitable) came down last week, I was kind of hoping they would notice the society handbook on my desk and ask then, but that didn't happen. So in the end, I just made two phone calls, first to my mum and then another to my dad. We talked about how Uni was going first, both the course and various other societies I joined, and then I just told them.

I think I was rather lucky with my parents; they weren't disappointed in me at all and my dad even congratulated me for being brave enough to come out. Both of my parents are very liberal, my mum's sister is a lesbian, one of her flatmates for two years at Uni is gay, my dad's fiancee's nephew is gay and some of our family's closest friends are openly gay as well, so me telling them that I had been bi since June-July this year wasn't that bad. Sure, they were a bit shocked but they still took it very well and are happy to hear me come out. As a result, I was so relieved by the end of that second phone call.

As for the two guys I mentioned, I had known them for six years already so I didn't mind telling them, but that wasn't the main reason for me coming out to them. Basically, I don't mind telling someone if they simply ask, but I'm hopeless with just telling them out loud (part of the reason why it took so long to tell my parents). Anyway, these two guys I was sharing a room with one night, and they decided to try and figure out if there was anyone I had a crush on at that moment. So they listed a bunch of girls that we knew, and then one of them said "Wait, what if he likes guys as well?" So they asked and I told them. So then after some talking about it one of them said something along the lines of "Well, that doubles the amount of possible crushes."

I also keep trying to drop hints to my housemates. I've told all of them that I'm in the LGBTsoc -- I even told one of them what that stood for -- and I still think they haven't figured it out yet. I may just have to bring a man home at this rate.

Hey, whatever it takes.

Well...I kind of freaked out. I had been taught by leaders in my life, though not my parents, that being gay was evil to the core. All my friends were homophobes, especially my best friend.

After having a few months where only my closest friends knew, I basically finished an English essay one day, got pissed because I was tired, and said "If I write a letter and leave it on the table, not only will I be done with this hiding, but I won't have to go to school tomorrow!"

This was the moment when I realized that I am evil to the core.

So I wrote a letter in Comic Sans MS font...16 point, and it was eight pages long. I just explained how I knew, how long I'd known, the process, and told them how much I loved them.

My dad was shell-shocked. Completely. He took a while to get over the shock, but after that, he basically stood up and said nothing could ever change that I'm his son whom he loves and that one's sexuality doesn't matter.

Am I allowed to say that that's ever so sweet? Because it is.

 

[Zombie_Fish]

I'm sure after that he realises you're not entirely straight, he'd have to be pretty dense not to.

In that situation I probably wouldn't react, one so I seem super cool and perceptive, like maybe I already knew, and two because I'm sure no-one wants to hear "OH MY GAWD YOU'RE GAY!?"

I'd guess so as well, I'm just not entirely sure since I prefer people asking me first so I can just flat out tell them.

And even then, only one other person was around when I told him, which still leaves three housemates who at the very least only know I'm part of the society.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

So, share your stories! And stuff!

To my sister and mother:

Me: "So... I'm bisexual."

Them: "Cool." and "That's nice." respectively. They were both very cool. ^^

 

[Queen Michael]

I'm not gay, but I am a cross-dresser. I haven't come out to my family, because they would be very shocked.

 

[retyopy]

I'm not gay, but I am a cross-dresser. I haven't come out to my family, because they would be very shocked.

The problem with the internet, one of the problems at least, is that I can't tell if you're joking or not...

 

[CODE-D]

My parents sat me down and told me that theyd love me no matter what or what life I choose and that if I was itd be okay.

Too which I calmly responded

You guys think Im gay!?

grrr...

 

[Queen Michael]

I'm not gay, but I am a cross-dresser. I haven't come out to my family, because they would be very shocked.

The problem with the internet, one of the problems at least, is that I can't tell if you're joking or not...

Okay, I'll be honest: I haven't got a clue what seems to be a joke about my post. I'm completely serious.

 

[Chasing-The-Light]

I didn't have nearly as good of a coming out as that. My mother basically asked me, "Are you gay?" and for years I said no, because I knew how disappointed she would be. But last year I met a girl who made all that fear of what my mother would say worth the risk. So when my mom asked me, "Are you and her..... girlfriend-girlfriend?" I just said, "Yep." And my mom said, "Really?" And I said yes again. Then there was a long silence which proceeded in my mom saying that she thought it a phase and that she was disappointed in me. Meh. Not worst that could happen, but that's mine.

That must have been sad for you :/ Although I have heard of people being thrown out because of their homosexuality, so I guess it could have been worse. She'll just have to learn to accept who you are. It might take her some time, but hopefully she will understand that it's part of who you are.

Yeah I'll take the situation I'm in now over the idea of being thrown out by my family. And yeah, it'll be a year in December since I came out to my mom, and I'm kind of hoping that maybe then she'll be starting to come around.