Coping With Failures

[MultiElford]

Hey everyone..

I am going through a little 'Oh-My-God-Why-Am-I-So-Stupid-QuestionMark-I-Am-Worthless-ExclamationMark' period, and I bet everyone has experienced such a breakdown at least once in their life (but most likely countless times as it is natural to feel that way sometimes).

So, I thought it would be nice for everyone to share their most memorable fail-experience and how they eventually got over it (like a group therapy kind of thing) so that some of us can expand their horizons and start thinking in different ways.

Right now I have got that horrible feeling of being worthless simply because I got (another) 65% on an exam, which could possibly force me to re-take that particular class as it is one of the Gordon Rule courses (meaning that you need a C average). It is especially frustrating because it is one of my first courses at university (I am a freshman and I am near the end of my first semester) ,and I am already having trouble with it, even though I seem to be putting more effort into it than half of my classmates (who do not even seem listen to the lecture or study at home).

I have never been in that situation (not-passing-a-class situation),so I am very frustrated and quite scared of the future, but I will grab my iPod in a few seconds and just listen to my relaxing Reiki melodies, which normally put me in a positive state again.

Nothing major, I know, sorry... But I am sure many of us feel the same way even though they know that it's 'just a grade'

So, what about you?

 

[Valagetti]

University here at New Zealand, no on cares about 1st year, as long as your grades are high enough to continue to the next level. I got 60% overall in astrophysics... and passed barly.

Overall at university this year I did SHIT, I made no friends, got average grades etc. I feel like crap too and it was my Bday like 3 days ago and been feeling like crap all year, turning 20, does not make you a happy person, or at least happier... Latly I been keeping myself so busy, that I don't have time to reflect on my feelings, thats how I cope.

 

[Terminate421]

When I did my eagle project, I forgot to get a concrete prism.

I went into a bathroom, swore for 1 minute and did the project without it.

 

[wooty]

I fly off into a rage for a minute, break out the cricket bat and start wailing on my punch bag like its Russell Brand.

Usually calms me down.

 

[Gloomsta]

Hey everyone..

I am going through a little 'Oh-My-God-Why-Am-I-So-Stupid-QuestionMark-I-Am-Worthless-ExclamationMark' period, and I bet everyone has experienced such a breakdown at least once in their life (but most likely countless times as it is natural to feel that way sometimes).

So, I thought it would be nice for everyone to share their most memorable fail-experience and how they eventually got over it (like a group therapy kind of thing) so that some of us can expand their horizons and start thinking in different ways.

Right now I have got that horrible feeling of being worthless simply because I got (another) 65% on an exam, which could possibly force me to re-take that particular class as it is one of the Gordon Rule courses (meaning that you need a C average). It is especially frustrating because it is one of my first courses at university (I am a freshman and I am near the end of my first semester) ,and I am already having trouble with it, even though I seem to be putting more effort into it than half of my classmates (who do not even seem listen to the lecture or study at home).

I have never been in that situation (not-passing-a-class situation),so I am very frustrated and quite scared of the future, but I will grab my iPod in a few seconds and just listen to my relaxing Reiki melodies, which normally put me in a positive state again.

Nothing major, I know, sorry... But I am sure many of us feel the same way even though they know that it's 'just a grade'

So, what about you?

Why base your esteem on exam grades?

And you do not get as much in because you waste energy being worried rather than using energy to learn.

 

[cheese_wizington]

The more time you sit around and think, man I really fucked that up, is the more time you could be using trying to unfuck yourself from your current situation.

Also, some terrible things make great stories one day.

 

[MultiElford]

The more time you sit around and think, man I really fucked that up, is the more time you could be using trying to unfuck yourself from your current situation.

Also, some terrible things make great stories one day.

It's too late to unfuck... I only have a final exam left to go and if I screw that up as well, I need to re-take that course..

Anyways, I didn't want this thread to center only around me!
*notanattentionwhoreatleastidon'twanttobeoneonforumstoo*

 

[cheese_wizington]

The more time you sit around and think, man I really fucked that up, is the more time you could be using trying to unfuck yourself from your current situation.

Also, some terrible things make great stories one day.

It's too late to unfuck... I only have a final exam left to go and if I screw that up as well, I need to re-take that course..

Anyways, I didn't want this thread to center only around me!
*notanattentionwhoreatleastidon'twanttobeoneonforumstoo*

Contradictory statement. If you do well on the exam and pass the class, that is an unfucking.

 

[Brinnmilo]

Fucked up an entire year at uni, couldn't handle being a failure, dug my self into a hole, slept for 18 hour periods inbetween 52 hours being awake, made no friends (over heard my flat mates saying they'd rather have some one else in the flat next year, destroyed me).

End result, wasted a year of my life which cost about £9000, am now back home doing a course I enjoy but am stuck in the same social situation. Am I happy? No. But I've not been happy in a good 5-7 years.

 

[Dags90]

Eh, I usually have manged to rationalize my failures. I managed to scrape by with a mediocre C- in Calc II. I'm just glad I passed, especially because I epic failed the first two tests. Waiting a year between Calc I and Calc II was silly. I didn't even want to take Calc II either, I was forced into it by crappy planning by my school (Stats was full).

I outright failed my first Orgo lecture. But a lot of people failed that class, I think the pass rate was about 50%, and mostly Chem majors. I took it again with a different professor and got a B, then an A in Orgo II. My cousin recently just dropped from the same professor's Orgo I, sometimes tenure sucks.

Plus my GPA is in generally good condition, so these failings are rather easily explained in any interviews. But yeah, pretty much half of the time in Calc II and Orgo I (the first time around) I would leave lecture feeling like I dumber than a sack of doorknobs.

 

[TheScientificIssole]

Well, I'm at that point right now, and it just reached its peak. I don't feel my age anymore; I just feel like a goddamn five-year-old having one tantrum after another. It's already too late though, so all I can do is accept it.

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

I somehow managed to nearly kill myself while on the toilet once... let's just say, I got over it by just... going to the hospital and trying not to die... and once it was all over i looked back at the incident and called myself a dumb ****... and laughed at it a bit, my pride is kinda hard to damage, so is my self esteem, I've lived through a lot of accidents, and done a lot of stupid shit...though in my experience there's always some worse way you can fuck up, so it's best to just see it all as a learning experience, and live on with no real care...

Though regular meditation, and my morning drills help center me, nowadays, hoping not to accidentally knock myself off this mortal coil any time soon.

 

[Kirkby]

Ha good timing im going through a very similar phase So yer thanks for making this

I got (another) 65% on an exam, which could

I assure you my friend 65% is nothing to be ashamed of. Even if it isnt what you need its still an impressive result. Degrees are a very hard thing to do. Also always keep grades in perspective. They are after all just grades and it may end up being the best thing that happened to u. I got rejected from my first choice uni and i thought my life was over. Now im in Ireland doing a Biomedical Science degree. My point is life has a funny habit of turning out jst fine

and if that fails u i just found this quote (its a japanese proverb)
Get knocked down 7 times
Get up 8

Simple but it works for me. Hope you like it

 

[davidmc1158_v1legacy]

I failed two semesters in a row (4 Fs and a D, as in those were my final grades). Took a year off to get over the burnout I was feeling and came back to try again.

Another semester with 4 Fs and a D. I tried one more semester but took a class completely out of my field just to have SOMETHING different.

I flunked everything except the out-of-discipline course which I got an A in.

Changed my major the very next day, retook enough of the old classes to get the Fs off of my transcripts (and call my old major a new minor) and finished up with a decent GPA.

The moment may be full of mud, panic and bile; but the road ahead can still be something completely different.

Or, to badly misquote a hero of mine, "Don't sweat the small stuff. And it's ALL small stuff."

 

[MultiElford]

and if that fails u i just found this quote (its a japanese proverb)
Get knocked down 7 times
Get up 8

Simple but it works for me. Hope you like it

I liked the simplicity of it!
Thank you for the kind words!

Having trouble with your first course isn't something you need to beat yourself up over. Believe I know how it feels to be under-performing at school. I'm willing to bet this is the first course you've had on this particular subject as well yes? It's new for your, so you can't expect yourself to get it all right on the first try, keep that in mind. And if you do need to retake it, that's just chance to get it right. There have been time I wished I could retake courses that I had less than exceptional grades in (I actually did once because I missed a major project, ended up getting an A the second time around. But then again I also had a different teacher)

I also know it's a lot easier to say these things than to actually get into this mindset. So just mellow as I say, don't rage like I do. Cause if u DO rage like me, you'll just end-up with more to regret. *sigh*

Thank you for your understanding
Well, it is Human Biology... But I guess you could say I never really took a class like it since it is more in-depth than I have ever gotten.
I do not seem to have the drive that you have since I would not enjoy re-taking that class. I guess I sound ignorant when I say that (especially considering that this is a non-science requirement) but I would rather not want to learn all of the material again as I am too uninterested in order for me to retain it. As much as I like science, I would rather study our brain structure more than our reproductive or cardiovascular system, even though they are, of course, all tied together.

 

[Shockolate]

I know the feeling. Being unable to live up to my own standards is a cornerstone of my depression.

What makes me feel better? Old videos of Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Pure gold in my opinion.

 

[SilentCom]

This is the time period in your life that you learn humility and your limits. You're not perfect and can make just as many mistakes as anyone else.

Think of it this way, you're still here and can still make decisions therefore your bad grade didn't kill you. You know what they say, what doesn't kill you can make you stronger.

Every failure is a reason to work harder.

 

[Jumplion]

I've probably been in that situation for the past couple years, and going through it now as I consistently call myself a dumbfuck after wrecking my car recently (literally about 2 hours ago, nobody got hurt, my hood got bent, that's really about it).

With school, I beat myself up over getting a 90 in a course or test, and god forbid I get an 89. I expect only the best from myself, or at the very least the best that I can do, and when I don't achieve that expectation of myself or I don't do nearly as good as I know I could/should have it infuriates me. I will definitely drag myself in a circle of self-doubt, constantly worrying over every little thing that I'm doing wrong instead of thinking of the things that I can do right in the situation. And this whole situation of getting worried and hard on myself makes me worried and hard on myself, as if I know I shouldn't be doing this shit in the first place but I'm doing it anyway, which in turn pisses me off even more.

I'm working on it, but I end up dragging myself back to the doubt circle. Good thing I'm stubborn or I would have given up a long time ago...

 

[Jumplion]

I know the feeling. Being unable to live up to my own standards is a cornerstone of my depression.

What makes me feel better? Old videos of Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Pure gold in my opinion.

Oh yeah, Whose Line was a great show, and I remember that one episode. That cheered me up, thanks bro I want a gif of that one clip between 0:50-0:54.