Corporal Punishment: Have we let othe kid's down on discipline?

[ApeShapeDeity]

When I was a boy I was sent to a Jesuit school. The cane was a standard disciplinary tool.

Read: I got my arse beat.

In that context, I respected my elders and the law... (well, mostly)

Kids these days are seriously out of control because they know that can't be touched. Not unless the parent/guardian/other is willing to face nearly universal scorn.

I have a daughter, and while I don't hit her, ever, I make sure she knows who's in charge. I make sure that if she won't behave herself or if she choses to be disrespectful, she will not get what she wants.

BUT...

I put it to you, does corporal punishment need a return to form? If not, why not?

Edit: Yes, I do know of the supurfluous 'o' but my keyboard is very old. Sometimes it does wierd shit.

Edit 2: My point in this discussion is to foster debate on an important issue. The arse whompin's I recived as a kid, thaught me that that was an accptable mode of social interaction. After many years, many brutal fights and military service, I feel that I've learned better. This is just an opinion. I apreciate, other people's experiences are widely varied.

 

[Azure-Supernova]

I've got a bit of a split opinion on this. See, corporal punishment is a great way to teach kids that when they do bad things, bad things happen to them. So for getting caught cheating, bullying and harassing teachers and fellow pupils there need to be consequences. This is where I see corporal punishment being an effective teaching tool.

This is the second hand. No-one deserves respect right off the bat. I don't care whether you're a war veteran, a police officer, a teacher; you still have to earn my respect as much as I have to earn yours. I adopted this view at an early age and it's never steered me wrong. I have never disrespected someone who has shown me equal respect.
Age should have nothing to do with it. When I meet another individual I treat them with the same respect I'd treat any other human being, my age or otherwise. If they don't respect me, then that respect stops. No amount of beatings will change this.

To sum up my opinion:

You can beat discipline and penalise for doing wrong, but you can't beat respect into someone.

 

[iseko]

Little children don't understand how to behave sometimes. I don't think you should beat them with a ruler or anything. But if a kid (let's say 4 years old) is in the store crying and yelling he wants that toy. Tell him to stop. If he doesn't stop then just slap him on his bottom. Still doesn't stop? Slap him on his butt again. Not so that he will bruise or anything. But little kids sometimes only respond to that.

My parents did it to me and I turned out fine. Now excuse me while I go to a football game. I have to release my new canister of sarin gas in a populated area. Muahahaha!

 

[Danish rage]

No just no, any sort of violence against children are wrong. Just so wrong.

Violence expresses itself when you are out of words, and if you´re out of words with a kid.. well then, i hate to say it, get smarter.

 

[Wardnath]

I've got a bit of a split opinion on this. See, corporal punishment is a great way to teach kids that when they do bad things, bad things happen to them. So for getting caught cheating, bullying and harassing teachers and fellow pupils there need to be consequences. This is where I see corporal punishment being an effective teaching tool.

This is the second hand. No-one deserves respect right off the bat. I don't care whether you're a war veteran, a police officer, a teacher; you still have to earn my respect as much as I have to earn yours. I adopted this view at an early age and it's never steered me wrong. I have never disrespected someone who has shown me equal respect.
Age should have nothing to do with it. When I meet another individual I treat them with the same respect I'd treat any other human being, my age or otherwise. If they don't respect me, then that respect stops. No amount of beatings will change this.

To sum up my opinion:

You can beat discipline and penalise for doing wrong, but you can't beat respect into someone.

I was gonna write something similar, but you've written it far better than I ever could. Kudos.

 

[Throwitawaynow]

If the baby won't stop crying, shake it till it does. I support this thread.

Edit for on-topic: I respected laws and my elders before I started getting the foot, fist or stairs. I knew kids who were extremely disrespectful and beaten because of it, without change. To add more to my sarcasm and paraphrase Louis CK, should you beat your significant other if they won't listen? They can actually defend themselves, but kids can't. I'll edit again if I can find the video on youtube.

Not the clip from the stand-up, but has some keypoints.

 

[Stasisesque]

I feel any opinion I could give would be heavily biased. I freakin' hate kids.

 

[XzarTheMad]

Beating kids is for adults who can't figure out how to properly raise children. It is liable to make kids violent, aggressive, emotionally stunted, selfish and unsociable. Not saying every kid who gets beaten turns out this way, but it is not a good way of raising children. Without teaching them why something is bad but simply taking a switch to them you never expand their horizon, you simply give them a "because I say so" mentality that they can carry with them for the rest of their lives.

Violence is the stupid man's tool. When all else fails, beat it. And parents who rely on beating their kids to teach them respect forget to focus on more important things. Respect is earned, not taken for granted. Common decency, however, is another matter entirely, and something you cannot teach children by beating them senseless.

If you ask me, there is never, ever any excuse for beating your kids. Never. Not even if they throw tantrums or behave unruly. If they do behave like this, it means you have failed to give them an upbringing where you established a chain of command, but still let them have their say. Give them options, but never make a doubt that you, as their parent, have the final word.

Read up on Authoritative parenting:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parenting_styles#Authoritative_parenting

 

[Cowabungaa]

I've got a bit of a split opinion on this. See, corporal punishment is a great way to teach kids that when they do bad things, bad things happen to them. So for getting caught cheating, bullying and harassing teachers and fellow pupils there need to be consequences. This is where I see corporal punishment being an effective teaching tool.

That just makes them fearful instead of insightful, a skill everyone needs in life. I don't see how corporal punishment is anything but a quick attention grabber, a STOP! to get your kid's attention. There's no reason behind it. Punishment, I think, is an excellent opportunity to teach children to reason. Now of course this is something you have to do consistently. Kids are, afterall, still kids, you gotta keep at it.

And if that doesn't make a child grow, or if he/she is too young for it, there's always simpler and less violent way of punishment. Kids are greedy little bastards, just take their stuff away from them.

Also:

Kids these days are seriously out of control

Please, they've been saying that for millenia. Nothing new to see here.

 

[Agayek]

BUT...

I put it to you, does corporal punishment need a return to form? If not, why not?

I'm of the opinion that corporal punishment is a good thing, in some situations.

Smacking a kid whenever they get uppity doesn't solve anything. Simply put, no matter from whom, you cannot demand respect; it must be earned. Physical punishments when they're being mouthy only encourages them to find more discrete methods of disrepect.

That said, there is a line to acceptable behavior, and when that is crossed physical punishments can, and should, be used. My personal limit on that line is actual behavior. For example, if my kid were to get into a fight with someone without a decent reason, I'd smack them. Once the child makes it physical, the punishment should also be physical.

There's exceptions to every rule, though. Some physical infractions I wouldn't dream of physical punishments, while some instances of being a jackass I'd smack a *****. I find these to be fairly solid as a rule of thumb.

Though as a disclaimer, I'm not actually a parent, so I'm not sure how relevant my opinion is. It's mostly formed from dealing with some of my younger cousins, and the couple of years I worked at a preschool.

 

[Lieju]

Kids these days are seriously out of control because they know that can't be touched. Not unless the parent/guardian/other is willing to face nearly universal scorn.

I have a daughter, and while I don't hit her, ever, I make sure she knows who's in charge. I make sure that if she won't behave herself or if she choses to be disrespectful, she will not get what she wants.

So, what? You just threaten your daughter with physical violence, and make her believe you would do it, but in reality you would not?

You seem to contradict yourself there. You say the problem is that kids aren't beaten, but you say you have managed to do just fine without it?

There is a big difference between fear and respect. If you have to threaten your child with violence, there is a problem there.

I was never beaten, I always knew my mom, who raised me would never hurt me or inflict any kind of physical punishment on me, and yet I was well aware who was in charge and that I had to obey her.

She always explained me why I had to do the things I had to, and if I disobeyed she would discuss the matter with me, and if that didn't help, I wouldn't get candy that week, or something else to that effect.

 

[Lawyer105]

Personally, I support corporal punishment as well. Properly administered (i.e. without being abuse, within a consistent rule-set etc.), it believe that it is a valuable PART of good parenting. But only a part. I'm big on carrot AND stick

 

[jackpipsam]

Yes, they are out of control and if we got to hit them to save them so be it.

 

[Lady Larunai]

Spare the rod spoil the child.. that's how i was brought up.. and i'm no where near out of control.. and still have respect for people unlike kids brought up after it was frowned apon

 

[Danish rage]

I feel any opinion I could give would be heavily biased. I freakin' hate kids.

That´s ok, i freakin hate people that hate kids, and about anything else negativly against children.
You might as well freakin hate me then.

 

[Stasisesque]

I feel any opinion I could give would be heavily biased. I freakin' hate kids.

That´s ok, i freakin hate people that hate kids, and about anything else negativly against children.
You might as well freakin hate me then.

Roger that!