Corrupt a Wish game

[cryogeist]

granted but its always on fire
i wish i was dead and in haven

 

[kannibus]

Poof, there you're in heaven. No hotties, no booze, no video games, no TV, no anything. You sit on a cloud and look at God. And no, God is not doing a stand up comedy act, despite the state of the world.

I wish for a raise.

 

[Robert632]

Granted, but your boss only gives you one because you have terminal lung cancer and only have about a week to live.

I wish I had a pet panda.

 

[BrailleOperatic]

Granted, but then it goes extinct.

I wish I lived in a Dr. Seuss story.

 

[Robert632]

Granted, but you are one of those trees that gets cut down in The Lorax.

I wish for the Pacific ocean.

 

[Stone Wera]

Granted. it show up in your house and floods the entire country.

I wish for the Atlantic ocean... On second thought...

 

[Robert632]

Granted, but on your second thought then entire Atlantic ocean is forced into your body.

I wish for a cow.

 

[BrailleOperatic]

Granted, you get a fat chick.

I wish for a full ride college scholarship.

 

[Stone Wera]

Granted. You get shot by a walrus.

I wish I hadn't been raped with the Atlantic ocean.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You were raped by Antarctica.

I wish I were a Chicken egg.

 

[Stone Wera]

Granted. You wait on a shelf in a cold, dark fridge all you're life and watch your friends get plucked away one by one. Until one day, it's your turn. You get cracked on the side of a burning hot frying pan and tossed in to burn to a crisp.

I wish I wasn't on fire.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You are put at the bottom of the ocean to get any fire off you, and prevent any other fire from starting.

I wish I was a giant fish.

 

[Stone Wera]

Granted. You get harpooned by whalers who mistook you for a whale.

I wish I was a morbidly obese highschooler.

 

[BrailleOperatic]

Granted, you're now a morbidly obese high school freshman. Nevermind then...

I wish headbutts were a socially acceptable greeting.

 

[Stone Wera]

Granted. Now handshakes aren't... Not that bad actually.

I wish I was a wish to be granted by a fish.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You are used to wish for a sack of shit.

I wish that I had a bag of chips.

 

[SPCF]

The chips were no longer crispy.
I wish that the person corrupting my wish is awesome.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You, however, are not.

I wish that the penguin army would rise under my leadership.

 

[SPCF]

Granted. But the penguin army fell to the power of my coolness.
I wish that the cat would stop dancing.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. It starts jumping on your head instead.

I wish I had a straw for a toe.