Corrupting? Absolutely!

[Esotera]

Ping of under 50ms would be declared illegal, upon pain of death for the heads of ISPs. Average download speeds would be enforced, rather than this "up-to X Mb/s" crap. Also, nothing under 10Mb/s is acceptable. Internet is free, copyright is relaxed (but unauthorised reproduction still illegal), this is all paid for through taxes.

Oh, and kill all politicians, because screw those guys.

 

[purifico]

1. Euthanasia, abortion and organ transplantation will be legalized. Any doctor refusing to perform any of the aforementioned operations will have its medical licence revoked. Permanently. Then facepunched repeatedly.

2. Stupidity, political correctness, hypocrisy, as well as any mention of music/movies/comics/games/homosexuals being the reason for the fall of mankind will be rewarded with a nice cozy 1 room apartment in the center of the Capital of our Glorious Country that you will have to share with a couple of hungry polar bears. Because EVERYTHING is better with bears!

3. Any game company trying to "promote" any kind of DRM/online pass/first day DLCs on its users will instead be forced to watch torrents of their games being downloaded for 6 months straight. Also see paragraph #2.

4. And of course no fucking babies or obnoxious children below 15 outside the parents' house and/or nursery schools. Or they will be given The Wall treatment.

7. Any comment about the proximity of arrows to knees will result in instant, painful, embarassing and preferably ironic death.

<3 Forced meme is so forced.

You mean "everyone gets to rape people", not "Everyone gets sex".

That's the most fucked up thing posted in this thread yet.

You missed the part where you have to pay for it, and where it is meant for people with age difference no more or no less than one year. And the part where you can refuse and get fined.

Also bugging people repeatedly with that request counts towards the "don't be a dick", which is an offense.

So if a person of desire has no money to spare he is basically raped. Nice going... Wouldn't it be better to legalize prostitution? Come to think of it I will make it #5 in my list of things to do when I'm a Supreme Overlord of the Glorious Overlordland.

 

[Greni]

The majority of you put Pol Pot to shame.

Speaking of which:

Spoiler: Skyclad - Sinful Ensemble

Are you ready for the Sinful Ensemble?
Good clean fun - just a bit of rough and tumble.
Dead dictators out on a 'lads night'
ten pints later you'll see a flashing blue light.

Ever wondered where the evil dead go?
There's a little place called "Nightmare Scenario"
Unlicenced establishment for former world powers,
where the drinks are cheap - and it's open all hours.

Bonaparte's on brandy - he swills it down his throat,
Hitler sips a Pilsner while he tells a racist joke.
Mussolini leers at Maggie serving at the bar,
Stalin's out the back trying to sell a dodgy motor car.

Dear God above (if you exist),
hope you see the funny side to this
now don't get cross - don't bite your nails,
oh, Son of Man your mission failed.

Are you ready for the Sinful Ensemble?
Good clean fun - just a bit of rough and tumble.
Dead dictators out on a 'lads night'
ten pints later you'll see a flashing blue light.

Herod's in the family room to baby sit the first born,
Mengele's got a Gladstone bag of cotton wool and chloroform.
Vlad impales glace cherries on a stick just for a lark,
when Pol Pot turns the lights out they'll play murder in the dark.

Are you ready for the Sinful Ensemble?
Good clean fun - just a bit of rough and tumble.
Dead dictators out on a 'lads night'
ten pints later you'll see a flashing blue light.

Genghis Khan just parked his lunch all over Nero's belly,
while the lions beat the christians thirty - nil live on the telly.
Caligula kills 'My Way' on the karaoke stage -
young 'Chezzy' Borgia's barred for life for drinking under age.

This is far more than just a joke.
Can't you see the fire for the smoke?
Choose any public house you please
and find dictators such as these.

Are you ready for the Sinful Ensemble?
Good clean fun - just a bit of rough and tumble.
Dead dictators out on a 'lads night'
ten pints later you'll see a flashing blue light.

Hell is where the heart lies -
(in Purgatory's borders).
The great thing 'bout eternity -
they never call last orders!

 

[Thaluikhain]

You missed the part where you have to pay for it, and where it is meant for people with age difference no more or no less than one year. And the part where you can refuse and get fined.

No, I didn't miss that, it's still a fucking despicable idea.

You absolutely cannot punish people for the crime of not having sex with people who want to fuck them.

WTF is wrong with you?

 

[General Twinkletoes]

You mean "everyone gets to rape people", not "Everyone gets sex".

That's the most fucked up thing posted in this thread yet.

You missed the part where you have to pay for it, and where it is meant for people with age difference no more or no less than one year. And the part where you can refuse and get fined.

Also bugging people repeatedly with that request counts towards the "don't be a dick", which is an offense.

That's still rape, what if you can't afford the fine? The age difference doesn't matter either, it's still rape, and incredibly creepy.

 

[thom_cat_]

Rule number 7- If you are caught listening to Dubstep or techno, then you have to do community service out in the open ocean. You have to listen to it for 20 days straight with no breaks.

Please sir. I'm completely encapsulated by this rule. Why hurt those who don't hurt you? Or change the rule so twats can't drive around blaring their subs and shooting the bass into the surrounding neighbourhood.

 

[Tom Artingstall]

Off the top of my head:
1.

Spoiler: slightly controversial

Mandatory sexual acts for the youth, as soon as they've felt they've come of age. Meaning as early as they want. Must fill some legal forms, and the selected partner must legally oblige or face fines, age difference can be no higher or lower than one year. This is to help people deal with sexual related anxiety/acquire experience from an early age in order to have an easier time with the subject from then on. Everyone gets sex, no more forever alone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP3aj_f2djE

You've been trolled.

 

[Trippy Turtle]

Ban stupid non word words. The next time I hear someone say something like googy-eggs I will have to try very hard to not slap them.
Demand all authors leave a note in their books saying that they have no hidden meanings in their books. Things like saying "The curtain was blue" means the curtain was fucking blue. I am not writing an essay about depression because of blue curtains.
Finally add a god that has a mortal form as a snail that everyone has to worship. Also killing snails is punishable by death.

You won't want me as any sort of authority figure. I just love to dick around.

 

[Akimoto]

All of the guys who posted before me will be my subordinates and given their own piece of land to rule. I will demand an offering of their choosing and for every month to have a festival to celebrate me and them.

1 Schools will be decentralized
2 Weapons will be used only for hunting or firing ranges
3 Rap songs will be banned
4 Operating Systems will be made for free
5 The earthworm shall be the national animal
6 Activists will be neutered
7 Attempts to mix American Comics, Japanese Manga, Korea Manwa and Chinese Man Hua will be met with censorship and public caning, followed by a re-education on the different cultures and how the different comics express them respectively

I'm not good at being evil.

 

[The Funslinger]

guys who wear their pants around their knees will be introduced to a belt. and forced to wear it.

With this one, I'd make the small addition of fifty lashes with said belt before being made to wear it. Any resulting blood may not be washed off at the end of the day so people know just what you are.

Anyone found wearing a shell suit under the age of sixty will be fined.

Anyone using the phrase "back in the day" or similar under the age of thirty will spend six weeks confined to a bed in a low budget, maximum security retirement home. You have no right to be world weary at that age.

Five finger fillet will become a national sport.

Pot would be legalized, but would require a license. People unlikely to acquire such licenses would be repeat petty offenders, anyone with any more serious crime, and people who loiter in groups outside of shops and hassle passersby.

All dubstep in the country would be deleted, but all hard copies would be then taken for clay pidgeon shooting purposes.

Lee Evans would be legally required to step down from comedy forever, or face deportation.

You mean "everyone gets to rape people", not "Everyone gets sex".

That's the most fucked up thing posted in this thread yet.

You missed the part where you have to pay for it, and where it is meant for people with age difference no more or no less than one year. And the part where you can refuse and get fined.

Also bugging people repeatedly with that request counts towards the "don't be a dick", which is an offense.

That's still rape, what if you can't afford the fine? The age difference doesn't matter either, it's still rape, and incredibly creepy.

Agreed. It's weird. Me thinks the poster is sexually frustrated.

 

[Jakub324]

-Anyone caught listening to gangsta rap will be publicly whipped.
-It will be legal to shoot homophobes.
-Ban the saying of 'duh-tails'. It's DEE-tails!
-Wolves will be re-introduced into the wild.
-You will not be allowed to shoot one even if it bites your leg off.
-One in five cigarettes will be laced with cyanide, to make the smokers appreciate that every one could literally kill them.
-All reality TV will be banned and all mention of it struck from history.
-If someone says 'innit' you will be allowed to shoot them on the spot.
-Eugenics. You will not be allowed to have a kid if your IQ is below 75,

That's all I've got. Yeah, I shouldn't be put in a position of authority.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Ohh boy, where to start:

-Tailgating would be punished by impound of the vehicle and a bullet into the knee of the driver's choice, same law applies to driving 20 below the speed limit without justifiable cause.
-Reproduction would require a licence.
-There would be smoking and non-smoking sections in every restaurant, airplane, and bar complete with airlocks to separate them.

Thank you Glorious Leader!

---

Any game developer who decides to end their game with a cliffhanger will have heavy fines levied against them

All wars and, the Olympics will be ended: Instead each nation will construct giant robots. These giant robots will engage in a series of games ranging from Olympic (like throwing large objects into orbit) to Gladiatorial. I will always rule the world but whichever nation 'wins the games' will be allowed some perk or, privilege (like an X-month waiver on the breeding cap)

There will be a breeding cap. Any family with more children than fingers (I'll say 5 or more children) will be beaten with sticks. The youngest children will be conscripted into the Giant Robot Piloting Academy nearest them

All nations will be required to construct a bullet-train system. Ideally, the entire planet will be linked by train but I can settle for each continent to have connecting stations (I see no reason for there to not be a bullet-train route that can get one from Madrid to, Johannesburg or, from Tokyo [via underwater-rail] to Jerusalem)

Sobe will be returned to glass bottles

Prostitution will be legalized and, heavily regulated. All pro-hoes (that will be their title) will have free health care...

...just like everyone else. Free health care for everyone.

Luna will be colonized by civilians within 15 years of my rule and Mars by 30. For every year we are late, I will personally punch the heads of those in charge of the projects and force them to apologize to the entire global population.

 

[MammothBlade]

1. School bullying shall be punished severely. Three strikes and you'll be burnt at the stake.
2. Anyone found guilty of asking for charity donations will be hung, drawn, and quartered.
3. All celebrity autobiographies and celebrity gossip magazines will be burnt and papparazi will be SHOT in the street.

-NO MORE CELEBRITY/REALITY GOSSIP TV/MAGAZINES EVER, there are enough smug wankers out there already without being constantly forcefed this shit. (There is no elaborate punishment for breaking this rule, you will simply be beaten to death in your own home.)

Amen to that.

4. All "reality" television, non-bloodthirsty gameshows (one bloody participant death minimum), and soap operas will be banned.
5. Prostitution will become legalised and regulated.
6. All drugs will be legalised and regulated.
7. All women will be required to have a minimum BMI of 30.
8. The age of consent shall be lowered to 14.
9. Train carriages will be split into first, second, and third class.
10. Steam trains shall be returned to widespread use.
11. There will be an active train station in every settlement over a thousand people.
12. Petty criminals will be sent to labour camps for the rest of their lives.
13. The use of artificial sweeteners will be banned.
14. There must be an arcade in every town.
15. All major football (soccer) clubs will be shut down permanently. Overpaid Premier League players will be taxed to shit.

 

[DaJoW]

Bailouts may occur, but if they do, the government gets full oversight and the power of veto on all economic matters until it has been paid back. With interest.

Teachers, nurses and other vital public employees will have higher pay, to match paygrades for similar educations in the private sector.

The public-run shelter system would be developed further - nobody should have to sleep on the streets.

Ombudsmän will be given greater freedom from political interests.

Private schools, retirement homes etc. will be held more liable for poor service due to cust-cutting measures. Every death resulting from such measures, or misconduct of some form, will be heavily fined.

The principle of having a corporation based in a tax haven, run a business in another country, and then charge interest on all investments in order to avoid paying tax, will be illegal. Anyone found circumventing this will be prosecuted, and all their assets seized and taxed. If the corporation has accepted taxpayer money for its services, it will be required to pay it back with interest.

 

[CrazyGirl17]

Hm... let's see...

-Members of groups like PETA, the WBC, ect. will be fed to the lions. However, children and repentant people will be spared.
-Internet censorship of internet sites will be lifted, but internet pirates will be fed to the lions too.
-There will be a cap on breeding, we already have too many people on the planet anyway.
-We will try to shoot for moon colonization in the next few decades or so.
-Reality TV will be removed from TV... with a few exceptions.
-Kid's TV stations will be made to start showing good cartoons and not subpar cartoons/non-animated crap.
-Sexual predators will be punished in an "ironic" matter.
-Corporate bribery will end in the people involved becoming lion chow.

 

[MetalGenocide]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP3aj_f2djE

You've been trolled.

The first reply seemed like reading comprehension fail. But when they started to blatantly jump to conclusions. Time to bust out the report.

 

[rutger5000]

Well that really depends on the country. But lets start.

- Install many people to uphold the law. These people will be given high authority, but will be replaced every 3 months. This to avoid corruption.
- the people described above will be subjected a large number of tests to prove they have common sens.
- Corruption of these people is punishable by death and only death. This holds for both the person being corrupted, as the person who is trying to corrupt. The degree of corruption is irrelevant.

Well those are the safeguards to prevent myself from abbuising my power too much. Now let the fun stuff begin.

- (in the Netherlands) Government officials who refuse to marry gay people will be imprissoned. They swore an oath to uphold the laws and provide the services they are supposed to provide. Breaking that oath is high treason, they are lucky not to be executed.
- Being a Teacher will become a extremly well paid and well respected job, the requirements for being a teacher however will become much much much much higher.
- No babies on airplanes or movie theathers, unless they are sedated.
- The minium price of a pound of (any kind) of meat or fish will be say 25 dollars.
- The average efficiency of a car needs to be 20 to 1. Kilometers per liter, no clue what that is in miles per gallon
- Free bisicles for everyone
- Free portable phone with free internet for everyone (yes this will have bad consequences)
- Proper sexual education will be given on a young age. At 14 teenagers will be encouraged to mastrubate.
- Any action that endangers the live of others then yourself will be considered as attempt of murder in the first degree.
- No finicial privacy.

 

[Vhite]

Force atheism and watch with popcorn in my hand how theism becomes something for cool and rebelious people.

 

[Aurora Firestorm]

Anyone who is an asshole on the internet will have their internet promptly removed. Anyone who defies this penalty will be kicked in the groin once for each infraction.

People who snore will have mandatory treatment of whatever kind works for them.

All kids who are bullied will receive bottles of pepper spray and training in a martial art of their choice. That will sort itself out quickly.

Anyone whose metabolism is high enough to eat chocolate cake whenever they want, will not be allowed to eat chocolate cake whenever they want until age 25, which is approximately when they have to suffer like the rest of us.

- The minimum price of a pound of (any kind) of meat or fish will be say 25 dollars.

I will hold the carnivore revolution the moment this happens. And just because this was said...

There will be no such thing as vegetarian propaganda. PETA will be abolished. We will get rid of factory farming and try to make some amends, but if anyone keeps whining, they will promptly be evicted from the nation.