Corrupting? Absolutely!

[Mr Fixit]

My first act would be creating a council of hand selected people to impose my will when i am unavailable. I can't be everywhere at once.

A new prison system will be created. All major criminals will be forced to fight eath other in weekly gladtorial games & kept in maximum security prisons. All minor criminals will be placed on secured islands where they will either learn to work together to survive until their time has been served or die. And all criminals will have their crime tattooed on them.

A license to have children will be required. If anyone is caught with illegal children they will be sterilized & any children under the age of 5 will be taken into government custody & trained to be unstoppable killing machines. Any illegal children over the age of 5 will also be taken into government custody, but will become servants to the supreme overlord & counsil members.

Racists shall be reclassified as "swine" & will be treated as such. MMMMMM Soylent Green Bacon.

Censorship of all kinds will be stopped, anyone caught being offended will be dragged into the street & publicly whipped.

Myself & my council will be judge & jury in all cases.

Everyone will be tested for stupidity. Punishment for failing the test will vary from person to person, depending on the level of stupid.

If you want to carry a weapon thats fine, just remember that everyone else has that right too.

Military training will be strongly "suggested" & rewarded, but not mandatory.

Everyday life will not change much, let people do as they will, but don't get stupid about it.

 

[spartan231490]

Am I seriously the only one who has no desire at all to be supreme dictator? At all?
If I had the power to shape the world as I saw fit, it would be closer to true democracy than to a dictatorship, and I wouldn't hold any position other than that as a voter.

Hm... let's see...

-Members of groups like PETA, the WBC, ect. will be fed to the lions. However, children and repentant people will be spared.
-Internet censorship of internet sites will be lifted, but internet pirates will be fed to the lions too.
-There will be a cap on breeding, we already have too many people on the planet anyway.
-We will try to shoot for moon colonization in the next few decades or so.
-Reality TV will be removed from TV... with a few exceptions.
-Kid's TV stations will be made to start showing good cartoons and not subpar cartoons/non-animated crap.
-Sexual predators will be punished in an "ironic" matter.
-Furries (the sane ones, at least) will be treated better. The rest will be tolerated, but warily.
-Actually, any sort of discrimination is strongly frowned upon.
-Corporate bribery will end in the people involved becoming lion chow.

Really? Really? Do you even realize the irony of what you just said? You have 2 discriminatory bullets and then say that any form of discrimination is frowned upon. Oh wait, you're serious? let me laugh even harder.
Just a joke, but it is kinda hypocritical to single out furries and members of animal rights groups and then claim you hate discrimination.

 

[Diddy_Mao]

1. Anyone who owns a GWAR or Aquabats album is required to put in 5 hours of community service helping teach Juggalos how to "get the joke". (Sorry, I know it's going to be tough but it's for the greater good.)

2. You get to smoke in bars again.

3. No more American adaptations of British television shows. The rare success isn't worth the flood of sub par and lazy shows.

 

[Vegosiux]

I'd outlaw coffee. Or alternatively, I'd only allow plain black coffee, no milky or cappuccino-y stuff. You want coffee, you get coffee, and you don't get to be pretentious about it.

 

[dimensional]

Anyone caught praising or condemning a product they know little to nothing about and not making it clear that they in fact know next to nothing on the subject will be punished by having their head shoved up their arse.

My word is law there are no other written laws unless I decide otherwise also the law is my tool and just because it works one way for someone dosent mean it works the way for the next I also have the right to change my mind or alter anything at anytime.

Certain games decided by me are made free to everybody.

Once a year there is a 2 day battle royale within a nominated zone which anyone can take part in.

the first tuesday of every month everyone has to wear a red and white checked gingham dress with army boots when outside.

Chicken worshiping is outlawed and any glorification of chickens is punishable by death if a company is responsible all their assets are seized and then 50% of the workforce are killed (decided randomly).

yeah that should do for a start sensible policies for a happier future.

 

[CrazyGirl17]

Am I seriously the only one who has no desire at all to be supreme dictator? At all?
If I had the power to shape the world as I saw fit, it would be closer to true democracy than to a dictatorship, and I wouldn't hold any position other than that as a voter.

Hm... let's see...

-Members of groups like PETA, the WBC, ect. will be fed to the lions. However, children and repentant people will be spared.
-Internet censorship of internet sites will be lifted, but internet pirates will be fed to the lions too.
-There will be a cap on breeding, we already have too many people on the planet anyway.
-We will try to shoot for moon colonization in the next few decades or so.
-Reality TV will be removed from TV... with a few exceptions.
-Kid's TV stations will be made to start showing good cartoons and not subpar cartoons/non-animated crap.
-Sexual predators will be punished in an "ironic" matter.
-Furries (the sane ones, at least) will be treated better. The rest will be tolerated, but warily.
-Actually, any sort of discrimination is strongly frowned upon.
-Corporate bribery will end in the people involved becoming lion chow.

Really? Really? Do you even realize the irony of what you just said? You have 2 discriminatory bullets and then say that any form of discrimination is frowned upon. Oh wait, you're serious? let me laugh even harder.
Just a joke, but it is kinda hypocritical to single out furries and members of animal rights groups and then claim you hate discrimination.

Ah... touche. I'll have to do something about that...

 

[BlackStar42]

Anyone whose metabolism is high enough to eat chocolate cake whenever they want, will not be allowed to eat chocolate cake whenever they want until age 25, which is approximately when they have to suffer like the rest of us.

I'd do the exact opposite to this. I'd actively encourage these people to eat as much chocolate cake as they can-this will reduce cake supplies, raise prices and so discourage other people from eating them and getting fat.

All politicians shall be fired. Into the Channel.

Douchebaggery shall henceforth be a serious crime, punishable by a length of time in the stocks.

All research grants funded by the Government shall henceforth be diverted to the pursuit of jet packs.

All attempts at tax evasion shall be punishable by heavy fines. Any attempt to relocate the business to avoid tax shall result in the business' assets being seized.

In order to be legally sold, MS Word shall be configured to use only British English.

Any banker who awards himself a bonus while the bank is losing money shall have his arms tied to his legs and used as a human lottery ball, with his bonus as the lottery prize.

The wearing of any item of Burberry clothing shall be punished with instant death.

Legalisation of cannabis, subject to similar licensing laws as alcohol.

Legalisation of prostitution as long as it is consensual. Trafficking and exploitation shall be punished with a red-hot poker up the backside.

 

[krellen]

Idiots who go around deliberatly looking to sue companies, e.g the women who sued McDonalds because her coffee was "too" hot, shall instead be sued for being dumb.

Learn the facts [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liebeck_v._McDonald%27s_Restaurants] before you start using bad examples. Very few people "go around deliberately looking to sue".

 

[freakymojo]

Everything will continue as normal, but in secrecy i will be building large bunkers(vaults if you will) in every major population area with appointed leaders (a large percentage of these bunkers MAY be cruel social experiments)i will also heavily advance the science of rapid (heavily unethical)animal mutation in my secret super bunker, have my brain be put into a giant computor in a state where i can live many hundred years. the wordls population will then recieve a 2 week warning, then i bathe the world in nuclear fire. once the initial storms and heavy radiation and such has disapeared, ill force open the vau- i mean bunkers and release my newly addapted plant and animal life mutant abominations.


It will amuse me for a long time.

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

*Is Canadian*

Let's see....

1. All politicians or people serving under me in government will have their spending be completely transparent. That way, it's easy to see if they're abusing taxpayer money.

2. The internet shall not be regulated, nor censored. In fact, if possible, I will see to it that everyone in the country gets cheap, but fast internet.

3. There will be a clause in all copyright contracts that will allow the artist to get back the rights to the IP should they need/want it.

4. WINTER WILL BE OUTLAWED!!! ...Ok, nevermind. I can't do that. I wish, though.

5. I will hire a panel of people to come up with effective ways to curb bullying. Teasing and stuff is fine, you can't stop that. But tormenting people will not be allowed to let slide.

6. The whole shareholder system will be revised so that they can't run the company into the ground by forcing them to focus on short term profits only.

7. Extremism, bigotry, and excess douchebaggery will be punished by a swift knee to the nads!

8. There will be classes designed to teach kids how to use common !@#$ing sense. Kids who CANNOT learn how to use their common sense will not graduate.

9. Deus Ex 1 and Shadow of the Collossus will be mandatory school material. Collossus at age 17, and Deux Ex at age 19.

That's all I can think of for tonight.

 

[SilentCom]

Maybe at one time I would have thought having power and control over large numbers of people would be cool but then I realized the sheer amount of responsibility it would take and the thanklessness of the position. Putting yourself in the spotlight is making yourself that much brighter a target.

 

[Tom Artingstall]

Addendum to my previous list:

11. I will ride around in a chariot pulled by either weasels (when I'm in a good and merciful mood) or honey badgers (when I'm not).