Could You Date A Transexual?

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Beautiful Tragedy

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krazykidd said:
Nope . Never . Ever . And if i date a person who i thought was born a woman to find out they weren't i'd probably go to jail for murder .

You know what , i think i'm going to ask ever girl i meet if they were born a girl. I'm scared now .
so murder is a level headed well thought out reaction? THIS is why we hate hate crime laws, to protect people who are regularly targeted for such actions.
 

bojackx

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Jenvas1306 said:
bojackx said:
Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual still has XY chromosomes, so is still a male. Maybe not in other senses, but most definitely in the medical sense.

And using science to justify his views on the matter is perfectly valid. If they aren't attracted to males, then they aren't going to want to date one. As I said, medically speaking, they are still male. It's hardly a phobia (or racist since you seem to implied for whatever reason).
what is with XXY? or someone with the 'hairless woman'-syndrome? a person whos body isnt influenced by testosterone and is physically female looking and mentally female but still has XY?
and are you only attracted to that last X chromosome or to all of them? must be difficult to get the equipment to every date to see if you are attracted or not
I don't ever recall saying that transexuals can't be attractive. What I'm saying is, in my eyes, a MTF transexual is not a female, they're just a mutilated male, which without trying to offend anyone, I find pretty gross. They sure can look like a female, but if I know that they're male then I'm not going to date them.
 

Jenvas1306

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Casual Shinji said:
a) Like it or not, our brains our hardwired to think in terms of gender. Again, otherwise a transgender wouldn't feel the need to change their sex. Just as their brain is hardwired to see themselves as female (or male) eventhough they're biologically male (or female), my brain is hardwired to see them as the gender they biologically are.

b) However, I don't use this logic to kill or rape, I use it too decypher whether or not I would date someone. Not too big a difference, but still...
your brain is hardwired for your opinion? that must be one special medical conditon. how do you live with never being able to learn or change?
 

bananafishtoday

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Casual Shinji said:
bananafishtoday said:
It's not ok because...

a) They "place so much importance on gender" because it's their body and their brain. Your (not just you, but many people in this thread) opinion that they are not "real" men/women is unnecessary and uncalled for.

b) Trans* people are assaulted, raped, and murdered every day by people operating under the same logic that "if you're a guy you're a guy." This "opinion" is held by too many people in society and is not acceptable.
a) Like it or not, our brains our hardwired to think in terms of gender. Again, otherwise a transgender wouldn't feel the need to change their sex. Just as their brain is hardwired to see themselves as female (or male) eventhough they're biologically male (or female), my brain is hardwired to see them as the gender they biologically are.

b) However, I don't use this logic to kill or rape, I use it too decypher whether or not I would date someone. Not too big a difference, but still...
Who you date is your business. I'm just trying to explain that the logic you employ is the exact same kind that "people" like this employ:
krazykidd said:
Nope . Never . Ever . And if i date a person who i thought was born a woman to find out they weren't i'd probably go to jail for murder .

You know what , i think i'm going to ask ever girl i meet if they were born a girl. I'm scared now .
 

Casual Shinji

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drisky said:
Casual Shinji said:
The thing is if someone feels trapped in the wrong gender, they can decide for themselves to change this and be of a different gender. But they can't decide this for everyone else around them, and say that those who don't see them as what they themselves now perceive their gender to be, as close minded and oppressive.

Gender is most definately an important thing otherwise people who feel trapped in the wrong one wouldn't have an issue with it. And changing it drastically impacts the lives of the person who changes it and the people around them. It's not just a simple "Now I am a woman/man; deal with it".
Ok, but you have to understand that people want to avoid people that offend them. Imagine if more then have the people in the world refereed to you as a woman, you know your not and you think the notion is ridiculous. Still most of the people around you call you something you are not. At a certain point in that you get real tired of the people who incorrectly label you. You don't think of them being tolerant of you when they keep calling you something they know you find offensive. It doesn't take long before you no longer want to associate with these people you have to keep putting you down.
I wouldn't bring up a transgender's current or biological gender in a conversation anymore then I would a non-transgender's.

If I should hang around with male friends (if I had any), I wouldn't be going 'Hey, you're a guy, because you're a guy. And since you're a guy, you're a guy'. But should one of these male friends (which I don't have) come up to me and ask, 'Would you date me', I would certainly bring up his gender as to why I would not.
 

Rawne1980

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Beautiful Tragedy said:
Ya i do ;P

and yes i am :) my life fracken rocks atm... I am trilled to be alive! I am SUCH a happy girl these days... MUCH different than the old me.
I'm really glad you are a happy lassy.

Happy to hear you and your missus are doing great too.

Did get a bit worried when I didn't see you around for a while when you were a bit. I didn't think you were going to do anything silly like top yourself (at least, i'd hope you wouldn't) but I knew you were having a bad patch, wanted everything to work out for you.

Shocking, people over the internet care .... I broke the internet law.

Must say mean things to counter balance all the good..... Hmmm, er, I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called 'Arthur King,' you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

But ignore the Arthur King and the British parts....

Because i'm that original I steal Monty Python insults .... and couldn't think of anything mean to say to you.
 

Casual Shinji

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Jenvas1306 said:
Casual Shinji said:
a) Like it or not, our brains our hardwired to think in terms of gender. Again, otherwise a transgender wouldn't feel the need to change their sex. Just as their brain is hardwired to see themselves as female (or male) eventhough they're biologically male (or female), my brain is hardwired to see them as the gender they biologically are.

b) However, I don't use this logic to kill or rape, I use it too decypher whether or not I would date someone. Not too big a difference, but still...
your brain is hardwired for your opinion? that must be one special medical conditon. how do you live with never being able to learn or change?
If you mean I won't be able to learn to see transgendered people as 100% their current gender... Then no, I guess I won't.

I'll just have to learn to live with my disfunctional brain.
 

Jenvas1306

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bojackx said:
Jenvas1306 said:
bojackx said:
Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual still has XY chromosomes, so is still a male. Maybe not in other senses, but most definitely in the medical sense.

And using science to justify his views on the matter is perfectly valid. If they aren't attracted to males, then they aren't going to want to date one. As I said, medically speaking, they are still male. It's hardly a phobia (or racist since you seem to implied for whatever reason).
what is with XXY? or someone with the 'hairless woman'-syndrome? a person whos body isnt influenced by testosterone and is physically female looking and mentally female but still has XY?
and are you only attracted to that last X chromosome or to all of them? must be difficult to get the equipment to every date to see if you are attracted or not
I don't ever recall saying that transexuals can't be attractive. What I'm saying is, in my eyes, a MTF transexual is not a female, they're just a mutilated male, which without trying to offend anyone, I find pretty gross. They sure can look like a female, but if I know that they're male then I'm not going to date them.
you didnt get my point there. I was mocking our societies focus on the configuration of one chromosome.
And thank you for the bland insult. do you even know a single transsexial personally? If not, then you should shut up about something you dont even know. M2F transsexuals are not male, thats the point
You are just a mutated female btw, your last chromosome is a reduced version of the compleet X.
 

Jenvas1306

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Casual Shinji said:
Jenvas1306 said:
Casual Shinji said:
a) Like it or not, our brains our hardwired to think in terms of gender. Again, otherwise a transgender wouldn't feel the need to change their sex. Just as their brain is hardwired to see themselves as female (or male) eventhough they're biologically male (or female), my brain is hardwired to see them as the gender they biologically are.

b) However, I don't use this logic to kill or rape, I use it too decypher whether or not I would date someone. Not too big a difference, but still...
your brain is hardwired for your opinion? that must be one special medical conditon. how do you live with never being able to learn or change?
If you mean I won't be able to learn to see transgendered people as 100% their current gender... Then no, I guess I won't.

I'll just have to learn to live with my disfunctional brain.
only if you kill yourself this instant, otherwise you live on with a chance of changing your mind, how scary would that be?

(btw, you cant be transgendered, you are transgender or not)
 

Casual Shinji

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Jenvas1306 said:
Casual Shinji said:
Jenvas1306 said:
Casual Shinji said:
a) Like it or not, our brains our hardwired to think in terms of gender. Again, otherwise a transgender wouldn't feel the need to change their sex. Just as their brain is hardwired to see themselves as female (or male) eventhough they're biologically male (or female), my brain is hardwired to see them as the gender they biologically are.

b) However, I don't use this logic to kill or rape, I use it too decypher whether or not I would date someone. Not too big a difference, but still...
your brain is hardwired for your opinion? that must be one special medical conditon. how do you live with never being able to learn or change?
If you mean I won't be able to learn to see transgendered people as 100% their current gender... Then no, I guess I won't.

I'll just have to learn to live with my disfunctional brain.
only if you kill yourself this instant, otherwise you live on with a chance of changing your mind, how scary would that be?

(btw, you cant be transgendered, you are transgender or not)
Well, I do fear the future, so I guess living on would be scary.

Nice subtle jab there, by the way.
 

Signa

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I'm going to say strongly "no!" The reason why are attracted to each other is because of how we are wired to perceive our fellow humans. Just because they strongly identify with females doesn't mean I will identify them as a female. I suppose there could be a chance if the conversion was 100% and I couldn't tell my that girlfriend used to be a dude, but it would only take a brief wandering of the mind to remind myself while cuddling that she's a he, and things would just get weird.
 

bojackx

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Jenvas1306 said:
bojackx said:
Jenvas1306 said:
bojackx said:
Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual still has XY chromosomes, so is still a male. Maybe not in other senses, but most definitely in the medical sense.

And using science to justify his views on the matter is perfectly valid. If they aren't attracted to males, then they aren't going to want to date one. As I said, medically speaking, they are still male. It's hardly a phobia (or racist since you seem to implied for whatever reason).
what is with XXY? or someone with the 'hairless woman'-syndrome? a person whos body isnt influenced by testosterone and is physically female looking and mentally female but still has XY?
and are you only attracted to that last X chromosome or to all of them? must be difficult to get the equipment to every date to see if you are attracted or not
I don't ever recall saying that transexuals can't be attractive. What I'm saying is, in my eyes, a MTF transexual is not a female, they're just a mutilated male, which without trying to offend anyone, I find pretty gross. They sure can look like a female, but if I know that they're male then I'm not going to date them.
you didnt get my point there. I was mocking our societies focus on the configuration of one chromosome.
And thank you for the bland insult. do you even know a single transsexial personally? If not, then you should shut up about something you dont even know. M2F transsexuals are not male, thats the point
You are just a mutated female btw, your last chromosome is a reduced version of the compleet X.
I wasn't trying to insult anyone, at all. Also your argument is stupid, which I suppose could be seen as an insult.

I don't need to know a transexual person to know stuff about them. They're undoubtedly people who've had significant alteration of their genital region, which to me (and I can't stress the "to me" part any harder), I find gross.

They're also all people, just like the rest of the population. I will treat them just like anyone else, the only difference being that I do not see a MTF transexual as a person I could date.
 

Beautiful Tragedy

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Rawne1980 said:
Beautiful Tragedy said:
Ya i do ;P

and yes i am :) my life fracken rocks atm... I am trilled to be alive! I am SUCH a happy girl these days... MUCH different than the old me.
I'm really glad you are a happy lassy.

Happy to hear you and your missus are doing great too.

Did get a bit worried when I didn't see you around for a while when you were a bit. I didn't think you were going to do anything silly like top yourself (at least, i'd hope you wouldn't) but I knew you were having a bad patch, wanted everything to work out for you.

Shocking, people over the internet care .... I broke the internet law.

Must say mean things to counter balance all the good..... Hmmm, er, I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called 'Arthur King,' you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

But ignore the Arthur King and the British parts....

Because i'm that original I steal Monty Python insults .... and couldn't think of anything mean to say to you.
Honestly there was a stretch toward the end of the year my doc almost had me committed (at least over night) my suicidal thoughts were pretty overwhelming. BUT all is good now :D

LMAo I love monty python!
 

Mykal Stype

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I kind of dated a trans man once (he's She now, but I'm using he as he was male at the time). We were in love and had been dating for nearly a year, but then he told me that he wanted to be a female with a penis and gave me the option to leave the relationship as he knew that a change like that wouldn't really mesh with my sexuality. So we did break up and remained friends for quite a while, but like a lot of exes that try to be friends, we started drifting apart and I haven't talked to him in a long time.
The problem is that now I think I could have at least tried. At the time it didn't match my sexuality at all, but I somehow went from gay to pansexual over the years, and I could probably do it now. I wish I knew that would have happened before I broke up because, like I said, we loved each other a lot.
 

wulf3n

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Jenvas1306 said:
your brain is hardwired for your opinion? that must be one special medical conditon. how do you live with never being able to learn or change?
That's a stupid statement. You accept that some things (I assume) aren't a choice eg. Homosexuality, Transexuality. But can't accept other things may not be a choice.
 

Jenvas1306

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Casual Shinji said:
Jenvas1306 said:
Casual Shinji said:
Jenvas1306 said:
Casual Shinji said:
a) Like it or not, our brains our hardwired to think in terms of gender. Again, otherwise a transgender wouldn't feel the need to change their sex. Just as their brain is hardwired to see themselves as female (or male) eventhough they're biologically male (or female), my brain is hardwired to see them as the gender they biologically are.

b) However, I don't use this logic to kill or rape, I use it too decypher whether or not I would date someone. Not too big a difference, but still...
your brain is hardwired for your opinion? that must be one special medical conditon. how do you live with never being able to learn or change?
If you mean I won't be able to learn to see transgendered people as 100% their current gender... Then no, I guess I won't.

I'll just have to learn to live with my disfunctional brain.
only if you kill yourself this instant, otherwise you live on with a chance of changing your mind, how scary would that be?

(btw, you cant be transgendered, you are transgender or not)
Well, I do fear the future, so I guess living on would be scary.

Nice subtle jab there, by the way.
dont take it personally, its just a term that came up recently and is wrong.

sigh...

I didnt choose to be a woman. I actually would have liked to live as a man, that would be so much easier, but I knew I wasnt and could bring up the strength to change my situation, cause I was thinking just like you do: XY is male and stays male, but I have learned that gender is more complicated than that and Im very well aware that, if you arent in that situation; it is a very difficult thing to understand.
If I am just myself, I am female, my sexuality didnt fit my body. why is that so? I asked that a lot and there is no full explanation yet. It simply is something that is deeply part of myself, against anatomy or genetics.
I had to accept that its part of my life and that I can choose to have a life with problems, but as my true self or try to live a lie, and then some random person comes along and tells me 'nope, still male' while I had such a struggle to try to be male...
 

Flutterknight

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I absolutely could, as long as I'm attracted to them. I'm transgender myself (hopefully fully transexual one day, but low pay and no insurance are preventing that for now...) so I think I would be happy to be able to date someone who is more likely to understand and empathize with me, what's between someone's legs is far less important than what's between their ears. =3
 

Helmholtz Watson

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Zachary Amaranth said:
lechat said:
even if i could be initially fooled into being in a relationship
....I'm not even completely sure what to say here.

Smolderin said:
medically speaking, YOU ARE A MALE
Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.

You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.
Do MTF have xy chromosomes or xx chromosomes? You can have as much surgery as you like, it doesn't change who you are. Case in point, if you didn't know who Michael Jackson is, you might assume that he is a weird looking white man, but he is a black man. It doesn't matter how much surgery he has, he will always be biologically African-American.

OP:No, I would be completely put off by knowing that the person I am with used to have a penis.
 

Xaryn Mar

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Most likely.
It would have to be a MtF though since I am not attracted to the male body and they would of course have to be attractive (to me) and have a personality I could see myself being attracted to. But those two things goes for anyone I would date.

I would like to have children at some time in the future though, preferably some genetic offspring of my own. But adopted might be a possibility.