Crimes against gaming

[coldfrog]

-Buying Saves- While I know of only one game (Maximo, you swine!) that has committed this act, the very nature of it earns it a place here. Saves are a gaming right, a reward for having gotten as far as you have. Being forced to spend your hard-earned riches on this most basic of features is unnacceptable, plain and simple.

In a sense, some of the resident evils required this, as to save forced you to use a typewriter ribbon or some such similar thing, and you were limited to a certain number of these that you found. This was pretty harsh, although it kept you from saving all willy-nilly every 5 seconds.

-Uncustomisable Controls- What if you prefer to use the triggers to shoot rather than the usual button? Tough, punk. No-one bothered to make the controls editable so deal with it. Some recent games still do this, which is insane considering that Timesplitters (a PS2 launch title, no less) let one fully adjust the controller setup. No excuses.

AHHH I HATE THIS ARGH STAB ME

 

[Alstan]

Unnecessary cinematics: I'm not against cinematics, but sometimes they cut your progression for no reason

 

[dekkarax]

stupid health systems- Why can't people just use a health bar and medkits? Don't tell me that magical bullet wound-healing Steve is realistic.

 

[Ace of Spades]

Unnecessary Darkness. I understand that GTA IV was trying its best to be realistic but Jesus Christ, I couldn't see a thing when I walked into a motherfucking shadow at noon. This is one of the things I found refreshing about Mirror's Edge. I never had to stop for a moment to wonder if I was going the right way since I could actually see where I was going.

 

[DirkGently]

stupid health systems- Why can't people just use a health bar and medkits? Don't tell me that magical bullet wound-healing Steve is realistic.

Does it really matter when Steve is on the moon fighting Dinosaurs with can weaponized whipped cream? Also, how is a health meter realistic at all? Ditto the 'walk over medkit, you are healed' type of thing. Not realistic at all.

 

[Deschamps]

cutscenes that can't be skipped - If the developers really really care about the story, then I won't complain about making them un-skippable the first time, but when I want to replay a level and I have to sit through the whole thing, it just gets on my nerves. It's even worse when they're right after checkpoints.

 

[Avatar Roku]

stupid health systems- Why can't people just use a health bar and medkits? Don't tell me that magical bullet wound-healing Steve is realistic.

Does it really matter when Steve is on the moon fighting Dinosaurs with can weaponized whipped cream? Also, how is a health meter realistic at all? Ditto the 'walk over medkit, you are healed' type of thing. Not realistic at all.

Personally, I like the Left 4 Dead approach, as in, you can carry medkits, but to use them, you have to stay still for several seconds.

 

[Pimppeter2]

erased

 

[Vauban]

Grand Theft Auto 4 - your bloody cousin and all his pals that want to constantly date you! I don't know a game that's committed this act again, but if they ever do I will find the developers and rip their fingers off with rusty pliers! I feel I suck at life somehow if I don't take the guys out, and I feel the games boring 'cause I can't hit any mission due to the interruptions! WTF!

Don't forget Dead Rising, the inability to skip or stop those things made me want to throw my controller at the screen.

What about guns in FPSs that take up half the screen?

 

[Yokai]

I'd say the worst crime against gaming would be extra content you have to buy. I'm not talking about actual expansions; it makes sense that those cost money. I'm talking about the bullshit EA is pulling with games like Spore where you have to spend more money on an already overpriced game to get content that doesn't even affect the gameplay itself. I seem to recall hearing something about how they were going to make players pay for patches as well. That's insane: you spend $50 on a game, you deserve to have something with its obvious issues fixed for free. It sounds like even Blizzard is doing this with Starcraft II, making people pay 40-odd dollars for each campaign.

 

[captain awesome 12]

Infinite Lives -- In the vein of either Bioshock, Spore, or Fable II where dying either has little or no penalty whatsoever.

My main problem with Fable 2 and Bioshock is you can just die over and over again until you kill the enemy through Raw Attrition. Only the new PoP has done "not dying" right so far, you fall and need to "restart" but at least you never need to reload the game and waste your time.

Spot on with that one. Actually Battlefield Bad Company does it the worst, since one, they make it nearly impossible to die with the unlimited health-o-matic injector thing, and if you do die you respawn at the opening area with full ammo, full health, and no penalties. I do sometimes hate Bioshock for it though, since the game could have been much more satisfying with a Checkpoint system.

 

[JMeganSnow]

Mass Effect had, quite possibly, the stupidest enemy spawn-in I've ever seen when you fight the Thorian. The zombies are just SITTING there, on the stairs, all hunched up and waiting for you to trigger them to attack, but you CAN'T kill them preemptively.

Sigh.

 

[captain awesome 12]

stupid health systems- Why can't people just use a health bar and medkits? Don't tell me that magical bullet wound-healing Steve is realistic.

Does it really matter when Steve is on the moon fighting Dinosaurs with can weaponized whipped cream? Also, how is a health meter realistic at all? Ditto the 'walk over medkit, you are healed' type of thing. Not realistic at all.

Personally, I like the Left 4 Dead approach, as in, you can carry medkits, but to use them, you have to stay still for several seconds.

I personally am a fan of Far Cry 2's health system, too bad the rest of the game was a disappointment. The best idea so far was one that Yahtzee himself came up with. On his website he has a script written for an FPS, and the way he did health was assigning a percentage to each body part. As you took damage you'd eventually lose the ability for that part, like if you get to 0% on an arm you can now only use one handed weapons. You limp if you take damage to your leg, and you die if you take too much head damage etc.

 

[Cid Silverwing]

1. No health meters - WHEN DID THIS SIMPLE CONVENIENT DISPLAY OF YOUR VITALITY BECOME OBSOLETE?!

2. Exponential difficulty curves - (Most commonly found in pure RPGs or RPG-tinted action games) They force you to grind your ass off until you're practically undefeatable. Breaks flow, destroys challenge. KILL IT!

3. Death penalties - There's something called "don't bite the newcomers".

4. Stupid AI - No need to explain...

5. Moneymilking - Same as above...

6. Ports on consoles some people don't own while they're actually meant for ONE console only - Guilty of this is Resident Evil and Metal Gear Solid (their Remade first instalments).

 

[carsenere]

i would just like to point out that customisable controles have been around even before the ps2 (though mostly on pc games)

 

[letsnoobtehpwns]

games with online multiplayer but no local- this isn't really a crime. some games are just to big, like gta4 or mgs4, but why can't i play a racing game like pure at my house with my friends?!

 

[Talis_man]

Now the question I bring to you is, are these truly crimes against games, or just annoyances to ***** at?

And are some just considered petty crimes while others are considered serious?

I think that most are just petty and minor offenses do to the context of that particular game.

For example Lives. Yes, in a game such as Gears of War or Final Fantasy lives would be an annoyance to some, down right stupid to others and really just a waste. But in a game like MegaMan x12,784 or Mario Something-something that is a part of the game itself. Getting pissed off at that, would be like getting pissed off at a dog for taking a $#!+ or a cat not giving a damn about you and your problems. Well Duh! Dogs take $#!+s and cats just don't care.

So sure, bitchin and moanin about how this feature sucks and that feature is crap is fine. That's what gamers do. They *****. A lot. But to just scream from the bloody hill tops that, "The game has committed a cardinal sin. It has used Quick Time Events, there for it shall be put to death!"

Ready? dial the "Piss-&-Moan" machine down a peg and just enjoy the game for what entertainment it offers. And if you truly feel that its "Offended" your "delicate sensibilities" go down to your local sheriff department and file an assault charge on the game. Seriously.

 

[KaZZaP]

Ditto the 'walk over medkit, you are healed' type of thing. Not realistic at all.

Its sort of realistic, if you sprained your ankle or cut yourself badly a tenser bandage and some guass would stop you from limping or bleeding to death.

 

[Pimppeter2]

erased