Curse My Inept Team-mates!

[Bebus]

Just about everybody who plays Recon in Battlefield BC2.

I have nothing against Recons. Some do their job very well. But a team of 16 does not need more than 2 or 3 hanging back. Nearly all Battlefield games involve attacking an objective and constantly moving forward; what use is a team half full of snipers pumping their k/d ratio when number of kills has nothing to do whether you win or not!?

And they always do exactly the same thing... Hide behind rock, snipe enemy, hide, repeat. Damn Recons, I want you to spot as many enemies as you can for the Assault teams, nobble tanks and put mortar fire on enemy holds! Go play CoD if you want your k/d to win a game!

Edit: ninja'd!

 

[GraveeKing]

Team Fortress 2... Ah the number of fun moments I've had after the free to play update, I just pick the auto-join option of the simplest skill-sets and go on a nub slaughter. Of course, this also goes both ways and my team are nearly always idiots themselves. I wonder if them some of them are bots or copy the bots, because the number of medics who only know how to heal heavy's or run away in fear was amusing. It was brilliant with a Scottish resistance... but as soon as we switched to attacking, we were held off by one single sentry and a heavy.
You know - something a single uber could have stopped with the 2 or 3 odd medics we had!
I'll say they were terrible but it was just sooo worth it.

 

[WindKnight]

The worst ones were in Exteel, a free to play mech based shooter. you'd continually get people come into a game, and they'd do their own thing no matter what game type it was. And then when the game was inevitably lost, they'd abuse a game flaw to bail out of the game without being penalized. No exaggeration, these guys would quite often cost their team the game, then leave so they didn't get a loss on their statistics (I personally had games where I was the only person left on the losing team).

In gunbound, a team mate asked another team member what UAE meant... and without thinking I said 'maybe its United Arab Emirates'... which prompted the asker into a tirade of racist abuse, and an aggressive persecution of the UAE player that ultimately cost us the game.

And in Halo Reach.... I hate the firefight sniper players who will destroy every usable vehicle on the map so us disgusting plebs can't use them to steal any of THEIR god given kills, and in griffball the players who go nuts when their accidentally teamkilled, or will try and kill the friendly ball carrier cause they want the ball themselves.

 

[Last Hugh Alive]

Anyone who's ever played Left 4 Dead even once will have some stories to tell. Even the fucking AI survivors won't save you sometimes.

What gets me angrier more than anything in Left 4 Dead is playing with people who inexplicably leave their mics unplugged. Left 4 Dead is the only game where this is a problem with me because communication with your teammates is crucial for survival. Yet its a bloody mircale if at least one person on my team has a mic.

 

[4nthr4x]

Besides the more 'obvious' games, which are mostly already mentioned
Call of Duty: United Offensive:

idiots who get first in the jeep, honking and spamming 'get in the jeep!' command. And as soon you get in, they head straight for the minefields... all game long

 

[cryogeist]

oh another time in Trenched (a tower defence third person shooter where you are in a mobile trench(its as silly and as awesome as it sounds))
anyway there are 3 types of trenches
standard- a mx of attacking and putting out turrets wirh standard cost
engineer-less guns more turrets with less cost
assault- more guns and less turrets with more cost
now these 2 idiots were useing engineer trenches because they "looked like a pimp" i wish i was making this up they attacked and died...A LOT and when i went to look at their trenches
they had NO turrets set... so when i told them they should use an assault trench
well lets just say they both ended up muted getting no help from my engineer trench and my wall of MG turrets.

 

[Jfswift]

class based games where nobody play support classes. That sucks. Although most people will eventually change but by then it's usually to late.

halfway into a tf2 match..

..and then there were three medics..

*facepalm*

Edit: or the opposite - Too many support classes like multiple snipers although I'm not as critical there since most of them are likely practicing that class. I figure eventually they'll be pretty good.

 

[nicholaxxx]

basically the people in League of legends who think kdr = good, so they frequently KS our carries and nukes (I queue with 4 people for the most part, so we always get that one guy) only to build their character WRONG. par example:

we played with a caitlyn player not too long ago who decided that playing her using nothing but skillshots was a good Idea (she's a DPS auto-attacker for those who don't know) so she built straight AD and auto attacked I think 5 times over the course of the game for KS's. when I questioned her about her choice of build, explaining that she is in fact, a DPS auto-attacker (which for some reason took people almost a month to understand...) he responded with "she's not a DPS, she's whatever I decide to build her as...".

It might not surprise you if I said we lost, which is why it probably WILL surprise you to say we won, basically because the other team was re-goddamn-tarded (as is how the LoL community is...) and wound up losing every teamfight.

Long story short: the LoL community sucks, my queue partners rock, can't wait for DoTA 2.

 

[Reece Stevens]

In team fortress 2, we were on dustbowl offence, we had 3 engineers 2 sipes and me and my friend playing soldier. When I complained that we had too many spies, one guy told me to stop telling him how to play and said I was a dick, when I said offense really didnt need engineers I got a similar response, then when we lost the match the rest of my team started complaining about how we were terrible and unhelpful, fml

 

[Sassafrass]

I've only got tales about the odd douchebag on Reach that tries and kills you if you pick up one of the power weapons (Sword, shotgun, sniper etc etc) or ones that try and kick you out of a Wraith because they want it. But when they do that, I just try and kill them by driving at full tilt at a wall or chasm, so they got a "SUICIDE!" and I get away scot free.

I'll try and find a video of the Wraith thing above, saw a couple on Youtube yesterday.

 

[The_ModeRazor]

Yeah, just today. League of Legends. Everyone on the team calling everyone else NOOOOOOOOOB and many many expletives, the main Tank going off to jungle for the first 10 minutes, insane babble from all sides... pleasant experience overall. Of course, we lost.

 

[Legendsmith]

I was on cp gravel_pit attacking A as a Pyro with a Medic who had only healed me the whole match (even when I told him to go away) when we rounded a corner and saw the majority of red's defense distracted by a blu heavy and a few other guys I asked the guy to use the uber he had. but instead, he tried to run to the heavy and got mowed down losing the uber. however I did manage to kill a few guys and we did win the match.

I am both a pryo and a medic player and it frustrates me to no end that new medics don't seem to realise that a heavy is not always the best uber patient.
I feel your pain. I've been on both the receiving end of a crocket while waiting for an uber that would never come and been the one with suddenly nobody to uber because the entire team is spies, snipers and one or two engies.

That said, playing medic on an incompetent team is self torture. It's just so frustrating.

The only upside is that it makes me appreciate a good team when I join one.

 

[Neverhoodian]

TF2.

Three Snipers.

Three Spies.

No Medics.

All the freaking time.

I remember being on a team once that was so incompetent that the enemy team was able to steamroll us with single class rushes. I'm not talking about all Soldiers or all Heavies either. No, they were winning the match within two minutes playing as all MEDICS or all SNIPERS. My team's brilliant plan to counter this humiliating turn of events? Counter with single class rushes of their own.

I don't often ragequit, but I did that time.

 

[SwimmingRock]

Game of League of Legends where 3 guys left 2 minutes in.

Or, in LoL again, we had a mid and top that refused to help kite golem, a bottom lane Xin that went 1-10-2, and a top lane Morde that did nothing but complain. When I asked him to buy wards, he responded with "Shut the f*** up you f***ing f****t". When I ganked top to help him, he ran away and left me to die so that "I wouldn't KS him".

We lost both games, BTW.

People like this are the reason I stopped playing LoL after a week even though I really like the gameplay. Too many angry idiots refusing to cooperate with anybody.

OT: Alliance of Valiant Arms (f2p mmofps). I prefer to play shooters with friendly fire on, because it means you actually have to pay attention rather than run-and-gun. Playing 8v8 with the victory score at 200 is all well and good, but it doesn't work if I'm the only one who ends the game with double digit kills and get TK'ed 8 times by the same idiot sniper.


EDIT: I also just remembered the one time I left a Sanctum game. One guy kept deleting the maze and giving the enemies a straight line to run to the core. He just kept telling us to spend the money on gun upgrades instead and would spend most of the wave shooting us instead of the enemies.

Once we'd convinced him we needed not only a maze, but also towers, he called us noobs and said he could beat the game without towers (for those who haven't played Sanctum: no fucking way in Hell). Then he kept deleting our anti-air, insisting it was inefficient. We lost 84% health to an all-air wave. If the technology had existed to strangle someone over the internet, I would be in prison.

 

[spartan231490]

Whenever I play domination in CoD ever, unless I play with my 3 friends, I am the only person playing the gametype. Every other stupid fuck on my team just sits and kill-whores trying to rack up their K/D and we lose. Guess what people: a chopper gunner wtih 50 points left in the game still isn't worth a player actually helping to cap or defend points for the entire game. How is this surprising? Stop kill-farming it is a stupid way to play domination. GO kill-farm in CTF or something else that I don't play, or hey, maybe actually kill farm in TDM. Oh: that's too hard? Go cry to mommy.

Sorry, this really pisses me off because Domination is my favorite gametype and I can't play it anymore because It's no fun to play 1v6. I'm good, I'm not fucking amazing.

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

In Battlefield 2, I'll occasionally wind up on a squad where nobody knows what they're doing, and everybody goes lone wolf instead of grabbing a vehicle and capping some points. That sucks pretty hard. Other than that, though, the biggest problem I see online is stacked teams. On a 32 man server (talking TF2 here), you're generally going to have a fairly even spread of skill levels. The problem is, occasionally you'll get all of the best players (with maybe one or two exceptions) on a single team, which then proceeds to steamroll the other team. There have been times where I was in the top half of my team's scoreboard, and the person in the same slot on the other team had a score 5, 10, or even 20 points higher than mine. Heck, there have been times where I've been the number one player on my team, with a score below 30. Now obviously, score doesn't mean much in TF2, but it's a pretty bad sign when there's a score gap that big between teams. Fortunately, most servers allow people to vote for a scramble.

Edit: It's just as annoying the other way around, too. While getting a win in 30 seconds is fun to do occasionally, if it happens more than once in a row, it quickly stops being fun for either side, and a scramble is in order.

 

[Blatherscythe]

I've only got tales about the odd douchebag on Reach that tries and kills you if you pick up one of the power weapons (Sword, shotgun, sniper etc etc) or ones that try and kick you out of a Wraith because they want it. But when they do that, I just try and kill them by driving at full tilt at a wall or chasm, so they got a "SUICIDE!" and I get away scot free.

I'll try and find a video of the Wraith thing above, saw a couple on Youtube yesterday.

What's worse is the betrayal system, you usually can't boot them for doing that which is BS. I'll usually use up all the shots in my power weapon if they're trying to kill me. Honestly they should just take out friendly fire period, that would stop this crap.

 

[ediblemitten]

A game I played today, in TF2 ranks up among the worst. We were attacking on Gorge, with 4 spies, 2 snipers, and no medics. Only 1 spy was actually pretty solid, but he was an unbelievable prick, insulting me when I pointed out that 4 spies was too many and doing nothing to help the team (it seems dedicated spy players act the most smug out of any class I've seen). Meanwhile, the other three spies were simply proving to be bullet magnets for the overhealed heavies camping outside our spawn, and the snipers could barely hit the side of a barn. I meanwhile, was having a very poor round, trying to play scout, then demoman, then heavy all to no avail.

We actually ended up taking the first capture point by the skin of our teeth. By that point, the team somehow wised up and actually started playing, (with the decent spy player shutting up and playing heavy) I went soldier, got a charged buff banner and with seconds to spare pushed for the final point, used the banner, and with help from a heavy and medic combo won the round.