"Dating" and when you're considered to be in a relationship!!!

[ham and red bull]

Quoted purely to make my opinion heard. Read. Whatever.

Well, my friend, welcome to the world that is adolescent relationships.

Anyhow, sounds like you're swimming along just fine, but my advice is also to actually ask her to be your girlfriend if you want to be in a relationship. I mean, do so in whatever clever way you want, but in my experience, it helps. My first relationship had all sorts of issues because my then-girlfriend considered us to be dating (which Sturm summed up nicely), but not in a relationship. So there is in fact a difference. I didn't realize that. O_x

I read every post, and I appreciate your time!

 

[Wolfram23]

From my experience, it's never clear cut. I would say, as far as when you're "dating" as in, it's real, that requires an actual conversation like "hey, want to be my girlfriend?". If that isn't stated then you're not really in a relationship, although you may be courting one another. That still means something, as it is in this point that you're really getting to know eachother and build trust.

From your last response there, sounds like she's interested but playing hard to get. Keep trying but never, ever, freak out on her. Sounds like you already did it once... try to refrain. It can be tough if you're really interested but that's the way it goes. You have to pretend, when making plans, like you're nonchalant about it. Busy? That's cool, my friend wanted to see a movie. Free? Great let's hang. The more you push the more she runs...

I once was interested in a very busy girl... a cheerleader lol. We met at work. Went out maybe once... she was just one of those "always on the go" type girls. A year later after moving on and such, I talked to her and asked her about it. She told me she had had a crush on me, so it's hard to figure out why she never made time to hang out (I had asked her out at least 3 or 4 times). I guess the point is, women are odd and upredictable. So long as she's always busy just be a good friend and when you are together, like at dance, be flirty and as intimate as is appropriate. Maybe she has personal/home issues preventing her from dating? Who knows. It sounds like you're on the right track, anyway.

So yeah at this point just be cool, and next time you see her if she's still flirty with you, and she says she's buys, it might be ok to say something like "ok, well I would really like to take out out for dinner, on a date sometime. Maybe you'll be free this weekend?" And if she says she's busy DON"T FREAK OUT.

Oh and it's scientifically proven that she'll be more interested if you touch her arm when you ask her.

 

[ham and red bull]

From my experience, it's never clear cut. I would say, as far as when you're "dating" as in, it's real, that requires an actual conversation like "hey, want to be my girlfriend?". If that isn't stated then you're not really in a relationship, although you may be courting one another. That still means something, as it is in this point that you're really getting to know eachother and build trust.

From your last response there, sounds like she's interested but playing hard to get. Keep trying but never, ever, freak out on her. Sounds like you already did it once... try to refrain. It can be tough if you're really interested but that's the way it goes. You have to pretend, when making plans, like you're nonchalant about it. Busy? That's cool, my friend wanted to see a movie. Free? Great let's hang. The more you push the more she runs...

I once was interested in a very busy girl... a cheerleader lol. We met at work. Went out maybe once... she was just one of those "always on the go" type girls. A year later after moving on and such, I talked to her and asked her about it. She told me she had had a crush on me, so it's hard to figure out why she never made time to hang out. I guess the point is, women are odd and upredictable. So long as she's always busy just be a good friend and when you are together, like at dance, be flirty and as intimate as is appropriate. Maybe she has personal/home issues preventing her from dating? Who knows. It sounds like you're on the right track, anyway.

So yeah at this point just be cool, and next time you see her if she's still flirty with you, and she says she's buys, it might be ok to say something like "ok, well I would really like to take out out for dinner, on a date sometime. Maybe you'll be free this weekend?" And if she says she's busy DON"T FREAK OUT.

Oh and it's scientifically proven that she'll be more interested if you touch her arm when you ask her.

Seems like you get it. Just a question, is that last part, like, true?

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

One is "in a relationship" when both parties agree this is the case. Since such conversations are awkward, an accepted substitute is when activities between people extends beyond mere social occasions into the realm of the physical (this does not inherently mean the relationship becomes sexual in nature).

The difference between "dating" and "hanging out" is a bit nebulous. The best answer I can give here is that, when the emotional well being of your partner is an active concern you have progressed beyond "hanging out". While this technically applies for any person who qualifies as a "close friend", I would point out that the "friend" part of the boyfriend/girlfriend is just as important as the implied intimacy.

For the record, I was in my first legitimate boyfriend relationship at the age of 17. This is also the time that I got my first real kiss.

 

[Nieroshai]

YOU--Three exclamation marks means serious business!
ME--NO CAPS LOCK DOES!!!1

YOU--I've been hanging out with this one girl I know from my formal dance class.
I can tell she's into me (because for one she told me, but also because she's very flirtatious)
I guess you could say we've gone out on a "date", and this is were my question comes from:

What is considered dating? How's it different from just hanging out?
ME--Hanging out can be a date if you do it to spend it with a prospective gf.
YOU--Also, at what stage can you say: "we're not just dating, we're a couple?"
ME--You are a couple when you both agree that you are. So ask her if she wants to make it official.
YOU--And it would also interest me to know when you guys:

...had your first girlfriend/boyfriend, if you had one?
ME--Junior year in hgh school.
YOU--...had your first real kiss (not talking about kindergarten "girlfriends")?
ME--Senior year in hiigh school. Her mom threatened to strangle me if we did, so I decided "I'm a polite and respectful guy and she's usually nice to me, I'll just make do with hugs til now." It sucked, but things went okay. Backwardly, she didn't like us kissing but openly encourages us to have sex, and once paid half our hotel bill once. LOLWTF?

 

[BENZOOKA]

Those questions, or actually labels are as old as the time itself. And those things do vary through different cultures and people, anyways.

There are barely two similar relationships. Don't bother with the labeling. Or if you insist to do that, then it's up to the both of you to decide what label you want to hold up.

First girlfriends and proper kisses at age 13.

 

[Wolfram23]

Seems like you get it. Just a question, is that last part, like, true?

Yes, but I can't find the article I read about it. There was a few tips in there, I wish I knew where it is.

But here's one on the whole playing aloof thing:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=a-scientific-dating-insig

 

[Mimssy]

I still say I'm dating someone when I'm a couple. Just depends on how you define the terms I guess.
Date vs. Hanging out - I'd say a date is something more formal (not in the dress and tux way). Hanging out implies things amongst friends or with someone you have an established relationship with.

I first started dating when I was 17 (first kiss then too).
After then, my relationships have been a little weird.

My input isn't really good because I tend to be a couple after we've started sleeping together and just decide to make it an official relationship.

Okay, I'm hooked, how did they become weird?

I've never actually gone on a proper date. I end sleeping with a guy and he is the one who ends up wanting to make it an exclusive relationship. My relationships just aren't well-defined and have mostly been built on sex.

 

[ham and red bull]

Seems like you get it. Just a question, is that last part, like, true?

Yes, but I can't find the article I read about it. There was a few tips in there, I wish I knew where it is.

But here's one on the whole playing aloof thing:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=a-scientific-dating-insig

Playing "hard to get" is the dumbest invention of mankind.
"If I tell this girl that I like her, she won't want me, but if I make her feel like shit, she'll know it's true love!!!"
It would be awesome if you could find the article about the touching arms stuff.

 

[Wolfram23]

Seems like you get it. Just a question, is that last part, like, true?

Yes, but I can't find the article I read about it. There was a few tips in there, I wish I knew where it is.

But here's one on the whole playing aloof thing:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=a-scientific-dating-insig

Playing "hard to get" is the dumbest invention of mankind.
"If I tell this girl that I like her, she won't want me, but if I make her feel like shit, she'll know it's true love!!!"
It would be awesome if you could find the article about the touching arms stuff.

Yeah, I know. But don't think of it as pretending you're disinterested. Just think of it as not making a huge deal and being all gushy right off the bat. You flirt to show interest and get her interested, but wait till maybe a 2nd date/going out to be like "you know I really like you". It's not like you have to keep them hanging for weeks. But, if you consider what she's doing to you, obviously it works lol.

As for touching, yeah I know. It'll turn up in a month lol. But for now, just consider it... I'm sure in any given day you don't really touch a lot of people. But anytime you do there are specific feelings. Maybe it's a guy friend and it makes you feel like you two really bond. But maybe it's a girl, one you like... it can send a spark through you. One touch can get you all excited and nervous. Touch is very powerful.

 

[ham and red bull]

Seems like you get it. Just a question, is that last part, like, true?

Yes, but I can't find the article I read about it. There was a few tips in there, I wish I knew where it is.

But here's one on the whole playing aloof thing:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=a-scientific-dating-insig

Playing "hard to get" is the dumbest invention of mankind.
"If I tell this girl that I like her, she won't want me, but if I make her feel like shit, she'll know it's true love!!!"
It would be awesome if you could find the article about the touching arms stuff.

Yeah, I know. But don't think of it as pretending you're disinterested. Just think of it as not making a huge deal and being all gushy right off the bat. You flirt to show interest and get her interested, but wait till maybe a 2nd date/going out to be like "you know I really like you". It's not like you have to keep them hanging for weeks. But, if you consider what she's doing to you, obviously it works lol.

As for touching, yeah I know. It'll turn up in a month lol. But for now, just consider it... I'm sure in any given day you don't really touch a lot of people. But anytime you do there are specific feelings. Maybe it's a guy friend and it makes you feel like you two really bond. But maybe it's a girl, one you like... it can send a spark through you. One touch can get you all excited and nervous. Touch is very powerful.

Like I have said, we have held hands, and it ROCKED!!! We also have the benefit of dancing together, which can either be without any emotion, or can become a furious dance of lust and emotion...! Why yes, I do enjoy dancing A LOT!

 

[ham and red bull]

Those questions, or actually labels are as old as the time itself. And those things do vary through different cultures and people, anyways.

There are barely two similar relationships. Don't bother with the labeling. Or if you insist to do that, then it's up to the both of you to decide what label you want to hold up.

First girlfriends and proper kisses at age 13.

I'm not talking about labels, but being on the same page with your partner.
I think that's important.

 

[SUPA FRANKY]

Oh, I don't know! Right after I usually use my epic sex powers to make any lady fall madly in love with me, even giving their ok for a 5 hour orgy!/ is still a virgin.

Never had a girlfriend before, so I can't help you there...

Sigh.

 

[Skoldpadda]

If you're seeing each other regularly, and in an intimate way, and after a while you finally have a row, and you punch her in the boobs out of anger, and she forgives you and comes back to you, then you're in a relationship.

 

[gphjr14]

I'd say if you're talking/seeing each another on a routine basis you might as well go for it. I made the mistake of developing deeper feelings for a girl I saw regularly and slept with only find to out after a few months she didn't feel the same. But thats life. Just make sure you're forward with your feelings so you don't have strong regrets if it doesn't work out.

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

1)What is considered dating? How's it different from just hanging out?

2)Also, at what stage can you say: "we're not just dating, we're a couple?"

3)...had your first girlfriend/boyfriend, if you had one?

4)...had your first real kiss (not talking about kindergarten "girlfriends")?

1) That would be hard for me to say. My girlfriend and I still do very much the same stuff we used to do as friends. And then we just look at each other and have a "couple moment" every few minutes.

2) ....Hmm...That's tough to say. I....Don't really know. I'm not quite sure when my girlfriend and I crossed that line. I guess when both of you tend to go for things like hand-holding, holding each other, kisses, etc. When both of you do those kinds of things with about the same frequency...I'd say you're pretty much there. Then again, my experience is limited.

3) The one I'm in just now. Asked her out about 3 weeks ago (But I knew her as a friend for a month previously). I'm 22, she's 21. And she's totally awesome.

4) ...Uhh...Hmm...Depends on what you mean by "real kiss". If just any kind of kiss counts, then I'd say valentine's day (the one just past), when she was ecstatic over the little chocobo-reading-a-book plushie I got her. If we're talking full-on "face-eating" kind of kissing, then not yet.


EDIT: If both of you obviously have some liking for each other, then ASK. Honestly, my GF had feelings for me, but she was afraid I'd say no (despite me having dropped a few hints) so she decided she'd wait for me. ...And I'm a very shy person IRL. If I hadn't worked up the guts to ask her, then nothing would have happened, despite both of us liking each other!

 

[Altorin]

dating is basically when you each start caring if the other person starts dating someone else.

 

[MasterChief892039]

I have no idea how I managed to bag my boyfriend. He just came over to my place one day back in high school and we played Guitar Hero... and then it happened again and we played Zelda: OoT... and then somehow we were in a relationship? Iunno, but our third year "anniversary" is coming up pretty soon.

I guess my advice is be sure to wear protection when gaming with a member of the opposite sex.