Dating Scenarios #1: What would you do if your date...

[SimuLord]

(first in what, if people like it, might become a running series).

Here's the scenario: You're in a restaurant. Not a terribly fancy place, but not a fast food joint either. Like Chili's or the Olive Garden or something. Mid-range. You're having a lively conversation with your date (whatever your gender and sexual preference), and the conversation turns to you saying "OK, make me laugh."

Your date then tells the filthiest version of the Aristocrats joke that it's possible to tell. I mean, this is the kind of Aristocrats joke that would make Bob Saget say "Dude, gross. Tone it down." And they tell it loud enough that you can clearly see that "all you can eat" just became "however much the other patrons had right before the joke started."

How would you react? And would it be different if it was a first date vs. someone you'd been with for awhile?

 

[Jedamethis]

I'd say "Urgh, what the hell?! I was going to eat this food! And now I just, just, argh!" If I'd been with them a while.

And then "Jesus Christ, what the fuck? I was going to eat this food, but now I just, just, argh!"
If it was a first date.

I think that's pretty accurate...

 

[Kaboose the Moose]

I'd tempt fate and ask for another joke, because I am a sadist!.

 

[SimuLord]

I'd tempt fate and ask for another joke, because I am a sadist!.

Sadist, as in you'd want everyone else to suffer, or masochist as in you want to suffer yourself?

 

[zidine100]

Laugth more than likely.

 

[Odude]

I am not offended nor disgusted by anything anymore, so I wouldn't care.

 

[demoman_chaos]

Laugh and be glad she isn't a prissy *****.

 

[President Moocow]

"Wow, you're a naughty girl aren't you?"

 

[Bebosis]

Id probaly go "What the fuck?" and laugh if it was someone id been with for a while and if it was a first date id probaly go... "what the fuck?" and laugh. Just because im a sick basterd and laugh at jokes like that because my stomach is made of an titanium alloy from the planet Zeptoonium.

 

[MorsePacific]

Chuckle and continue eating my food? Jokes relying on shock value to be funny are hardly jokes at all.

 

[Dusty Donuts]

Tell her that if she tells another joke like that, she has to eat a lamb's brain every night for a week, because what goes in must come out, and they're both disgusting.

 

[Altorin]

"woah, ha.." then tell a worse one.

 

[Kaboose the Moose]

I'd tempt fate and ask for another joke, because I am a sadist!.

Sadist, as in you'd want everyone else to suffer, or masochist as in you want to suffer yourself?

A little bit of both. Depends on the wine list.

 

[SimuLord]

"woah, ha.." then tell a worse one.

This brings up the question, who has the best version of the joke? For obvious reasons, there can't be any links here, but I love the version Gilbert Gottfried told at the Hugh Hefner roast right after 9/11. Perfect timing and perfect audience.

 

[The_Healer]

Speak over her loudly apologizing for her ramblings and plead insanity to the other patrons in the restaurant.
Then say I need to go to the toilet and do a runner.

 

[SimuLord]

Well it's all subjective. I don't actually know in advance what I would find too horrible for the situation...

If it really bothered me I guess I wouldn't be dating that person, but if it's the first date, I'd still want to know whether it's part of some little quirk of hers or if she's simply disgusting.

My first thought would actually be "she's testing me. Wants to know if I'm easily offended." I'd probably shoot back with something from the Jeff Ross collection and live happily ever after.

 

[Kollega]

Scream "HOOOLEE FUCKING SHIT! YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY?!" so loud that astronauts at ISS hear it.

Or just light my head on fire.

 

[Cowabungaa]

Grin, and wildly at that. Of course I'd be grossed out, but any girl who manages to gross me out (read: well, with words of course, I run away screaming from 2 girls 1 cup) receives instant worship from me.

If I would be with her for a while already, I'd know what to expect, and we would actually make it a contest on who can make the raunchiest Aristocrats joke, just for shits and giggles.