Dealing with suicide.

[A.A.K]

i have lost 2 friends to suicide. 3 to murder. 2 to medical complications. 4 to stupidity.
All death hurts.

My advice, get over it. accept that- thats it for now. and move on.

but what i did at the time? i took 3 weeks off school and spent that time meditating and training (fighting wise).

You need to find a moment in your grieving where youve accepted it, and during that period do something to relax. i meditate.
and whilst you have those feelings of sorrow nd anger, you need to do something that chews through your energy and emotion. i trained.

If my advice seems cruel im sorry, i truly know how it feels, but thats it.

You need to stand when the world drags you down, otherwise when you fall, its fuckin' hard to get back up.

R.I.P Matt.

 

[Doitpow]

sounds hard to do...and it is, but really talk to your parents, odds are they have been through similar and they won't (or shouldn't) shove religious dogma down your throat.

 

[US Crash Fire]

thanks guys. I guess I just needed to do this as a practice run without a face first. I'll look into the programs you all posted and I appreciate the advice. thank you again.

 

[Kud]

Why are you telling a forum about this, Im sure talking to normal people would be much more effective then talking to us freaks.

This is going to sound harsh but, we don't care.

some people will say they do, but they are lying.

 

[Wintermoot]

just cry it out and face reality

 

[Wrann]

Listen to Here comes the sun by The Beatles. It makes everyone feel better.

 

[Nickolai77]

Since everyone else here is recomending it, see if you can see a counciller. I wouldn't worry about PTSD, but depression could become a problem. I'm really sorry for your loss, but remember that there are other people on this thread, who have been in the same boat as you have had, and it seems, in a rougher boat than your own. Their advise is probably the best to follow, since they have been through what you are experiencing now- their advise is most valuble.

 

[BENZOOKA]

Internet forums aren't the best place for this. There are plenty of people willing to help you in real life. Most of us here aren't interested. Harsh, but true.

 

[bluepilot]

I am really sorry to hear about your friend

My advice is just take everything at your own pace. You posted the event on a internet forum today, this shows that you are seeking advice, anwsers and maybe even some comfort.

You are not bottling up, you have already taken the first step. When you feel ready, reach out to the people who are closer to you.

You are not alone

 

[Frungy]

Lost a friend today. I'm not sure how to deal with it. I don't believe in heaven or hell and I don't want to talk about it to a counselor or chaplain, but everyone says "don't bottle it up". what should I do? I just want to break down but I cant afford to do that. Please help.
-R.I.P. Matt

I think it's great that you're talking about it, and wherever you feel comfortable with doing that is okay.

Firstly, don't blame yourself. Your friend chose to end their life for their own reasons, quite possibly because they felt trapped with no other way out. It isn't your fault though, and there's most likely nothing you could have done for them. Matt was really determined to die then even if you'd sat with him 24/7 he would have found a way. You aren't responsible.

I suggest you do some reading on something called "survivor's guilt", because what you're feeling is completely normal and healthy, and it can be comforting to realise that you're not alone.

Secondly, go to the funeral or just visit his grave and say goodbye. It's such a simple word, but getting closure on this sort of thing is incredibly important. You're not forgetting him or abandoning him, just saying goodbye and admitting to yourself that he's gone. That admission and the act of saying goodbye can really help.

Finally, learn from this, it's Matt's final gift to you, so don't ignore it. Take what you can from this experience, look around and see the effect it's having on those who loved Matt. You may even find yourself angry with him for a while, and that's okay. You're entitled to your emotions and you're entitled to feel what you feel. If others notice you're upset or angry tell them what happened and why you're upset. In time you'll work through this and what you learn about yourself, about Matt, and about those around you will be incredibly valuable. This is Matt's final gift to you, so don't bottle it up or deny your feelings.

Feel, live, learn, grow.

 

[Darth Caelum]

Lost a friend today. I'm not sure how to deal with it. I don't believe in heaven or hell and I don't want to talk about it to a counselor or chaplain, but everyone says "don't bottle it up". what should I do? I just want to break down but I cant afford to do that. Please help.
-R.I.P. Matt

Wow...i do not see this kind of Thread everyday....right....be serious.....*puts on serious mask*
The thing is Mate, you DO NOT want to keep it inside.You can act like it didn't affect you but, in the end, you will HAVE TO. I have tried the same thing, to keep it inside, but YOU WILL become a Bitter, Angry and Pessimistic Person (just like me). I suggest you find someone to talk to it about, a Professional not us assholes in the Internet, and listen to Him. After However, you will have to let your friend Go, it will be hard but, in the end, it will be better for you. I personally believe that Religion was made for 2 Reasons. 1.To Force people to do "Good", or 2. To Console a Person who has lost someone dear to him. You DO NOT NEED to believe in a Higher Power, though that may comfort you, you just need to do one thing, Let your Friend Go.

As a Supernatural Personification of an Idea once said

You attend the funeral,
you bid the dead farewell.
You grieve. Then you continue with your life.
And at times the fact of your friend's absence will hit you like a blow to the chest, and you will weep.
But this will happen less and less as time goes on. Your Friend is dead. You are alive. So live.
Dream, in Sandman: "The Song of Orpheus"

 

[vodkainferno]

Grieve bro. Thats all I can recommend, and hang out with people who can make laugh.

 

[Erana]

Why are you telling a forum about this, Im sure talking to normal people would be much more effective then talking to us freaks.

This is going to sound harsh but, we don't care.

some people will say they do, but they are lying.

Sometimes, I wish I could ignore my empathy. Often, I do. Sometimes, its as if I've lost compassion altogether.
But not now.

Life is suffering, but ultimately, suicide is not a way out. Not really.
That's the scary part. Happenings like this make me all the more fearful.

When thinking of death, I look at things from an existentialist perspective. Perhaps that's what could help here.

 

[Abedeus]

Lost a friend today. I'm not sure how to deal with it. I don't believe in heaven or hell and I don't want to talk about it to a counselor or chaplain, but everyone says "don't bottle it up". what should I do? I just want to break down but I cant afford to do that. Please help.
-R.I.P. Matt

Well it's obvious.

Make a blog to vent it out. Or tweet about it. I mean, it's basically like making a thread on a gaming forum.

 

[Keepitclean]

The only people who have ever said to me "don't bottle it up" are girls and they have a different way of dealing with things like this to guys. I "bottle things up" but I has never been a bad thing, it's like my "bottle" has a hole in the bottom of it.

If you feel better by not talking aobut it by all means don't. You will feel better about it in time. The world still goes on mate and so will you.

 

[likalaruku]

I lost a friend once. Remember your friend as an important piece of nostolgia & replace him/her as soon as possible. It seems cold, but if a brick falls out of the dam & breaks & you don't stick a new one back in, your woes can cave in & flood you.

-& this is advise from a girl who ONLY cries whn cutting onions & deals with problems like a man. ::Jabs Keepitclean::

 

[bella32]

ash pox your an arsehole to not care about shit like this and same goes for all those with the same view.
I am so sorry for your loss, i cant imagine how hard this must be for you. but dont bottle it up, coz it will come out sooner or later, and the more time it has to build up, the worse it will be when it comes out. get it over with...talk to someone, cry like hell, take time off, and most of all, dont blame yourself.
i hope you are ok and can move past this.

 

[SpAc3man]

Remember your friend for all the good things. It will take a while but eventually you will feel more happiness than depression when you think or talk about him. Be with people who knew him well too and talk about experiences and memories. Thats what helped the most for me

EDIT: I listened to J.A.R. by Green Day heaps during that time. Music can make it easier to understand all the things going on in your head along with having something that will always remind you of your friend. Good luck

 

[Baggie]

I've been through the same thing, it's not easy to deal with sometimes, and effects people in different ways.
Best way is to vent somehow, but do whatever you need to.