"Dear Customer, it is my pleasure to inform you..." (A Venting Thread)

[CaptainMarvelous]

I've worked a lot of retail so I've seen a few of these, my personal favourite was this old couple
They came into the GAME store I was working in and asked if the 3DS would work with their chip that had all the games on, as in, downloaded onto. For free.
I said, well, no because thats obvious piracy, they fixed that.
I then get a rant about how Nintendo, the store, everyone is trying to shaft them by demanding so much money
Because expecting you to pay for games was morally wrong instead of paying jackshit for them the whole time

 

[shintakie10]

The amount of people who want a fresh turkey Thanksgiving mornin astound me to this day. After the seventh person to ask me that day if we had any turkeys and bein yelled at 4 times for "wastin their time" I had finally had it. A guy then pushed his luck and called in to complain at about 10 at night, when I had to skip out on dinner with my girlfriends family to be at work. He vented for 10 minutes about how stupid we were for not "anticipating demand" for turkeys this year. Then he proceeded to talk about how he was a stock holder at Kroger and blah blah blah.

Seriously. No one gives a shit if you're a stock holder. No one. Don't bring me that shit as if I'll care.

Eventually I got fed up and told him that if he really wanted a turkey he should have done what every other sensible person did, planned ahead and bought the thing sooner than 5 hours before you needed to make it.

Woo did that get me in trouble. He cried and complained and asked to talk to a manager. Did the whole song and dance routine.

I didn't get fired for it, and my boss did laugh her ass off when I told her the story (I'm also fairly certain she didn't pay attention to his complaints), but because I was "rude to a customer" I had to get written up.

Worth it though.

 

[Agayek]

Do get some weirdos though.

Had one kid asking me what I thought the black market value of various poached animal body parts would be.

I kid you not. A student actually asked me that.

First: You have my sympathies.

Second: How did you answer that question?

If I was in your shoes, I probably would have drawn a comparison to how well organs from [insert-class'-general-age here] year old kids sell.

 

[Ashannon Blackthorn]

Honestly, I've never put up ith this kinda BS from customers. Granted I've quit jobs over it... but now I work in security at a port. Not a glamorous job but I get very little BS. The workers and contractors don't give any shit and John Q Public tries and I very gleefully get to give it to them both barrels. It's a perk to an otherwise crappy job. I mostly watch old cartoons while killing time. Working on Tiny Toons and Gummi Bears now

 

[MagunBFP]

I hate to be the voice of dissent here... well maybe not, but now that I'm not actually providing 1st level support, customer service, and scheduling technicians I don't have to be so nice.

You all deal with customers who are seeking something, you are not what they're looking for, your product is but if they could get it cheaper or faster somewhere else they wouldn't care. Most of them are idiots, some of them are good enough to know it, but not many of them. As a result the things you think are stupid from a customer who doesn't have all your expertise and training might just seem logical to them because they just don't know better. If you don't like dealing with stupid customers regardless of the industry I suggest you get the fuck out your customer facing role because it doesn't get better.

If a customer makes a joke about your job and you've heard it a billion times before it doesn't make them wrong to make the joke its possibly the first time they've made it or the first time in a long time that they've made it.

If someone orders in the wrong order... did you tell them the order they need to speciify things? They don't know what you have to do to record the order, and quite rightly most times they don't care, they're giving you money to "insert function here" by all means tell them how to tell you what they want, but don't get upset when they tell you the wrong way because they don't know better

Don't ever assume the customer is either telling you everything if you're giving a time quote, or that they're using the correct technical terms if your supporting something, I mean come on, if you're giving a quote put it in writing and email it, or make sure you say "this will be $X for this job, if it takes longer it will be another $Y/hour" If there's anything I've learnt in my years in IT it's that nothing every goes to plan with troubleshooting so don't assume it will and you'll be sweet. As for the customer knowing technical terms, it's cute when they try, awesome when they get it right, but they've seen or heard the word thrown around and assume it means a certain thing... and when some technician will just use technical words to make their job sound hard its difficult to blame customers for breaking the technical code.

At the end of the day we have collegues or customers who make our jobs more difficult then we'd like it to be, getting upset or passive-aggressive about it does nothing, just laugh at the stupid joke or educate people and tell them how they help you to help them instead of thinking "stupid customer"

Also Grant Stackhouse - It sounds like a few of your issues are coming from people "not knowing/remembering" prices, quote details and the like. It might be an idea to give written quotes, or at least have something in writing that lists your rates that a customer can take with them. If you're already doing that, my bad, but it's something that we do and refer to and the number of "OMG it cost how much?" conversations are rare because of it.

 

[Wyes]

Had one kid asking me what I thought the black market value of various poached animal body parts would be.

Well, what is it? Are you trying to tell me you don't have access to that information?

Yeah, we can work our bodies, but it's like a sword. Any idiot can swing around a sword and kill someone. But have you ever seen a true swordsperson work? It's frightening what he or she can do with the same instrument that other people so crudely wield. That comes from knowing their body. That comes from hard work. And a lot of the time, it comes from instruction.

Whilst it's not my job to teach people to sword fight, it is obviously my instructors' jobs, and they've seen some really dumb things in their time. I know personally I get a lot of people give me the 'Eastern martial arts and weapons will give you mystical powers but Western/European martial arts don't exist' attitude, usually followed by them trying to convince me that katanas are the best swords EVAR.

Otherwise I worked in pizza shops for a long time, so I have a lot of the same complaints as people above.

 

[Colin Bagley]

I had my boss tickle me once.
It was the last day before we were all fired at Christmas, So I don't know if that makes it better or worse.

 

[Nopenahnuhuh]

I've worked in a few law firms and every time I see the same old things: Clients popping in unannounced and demanding to see the lawyer they hired right freakin' now and get pissed off he's either away in duty or on a meeting with another client, that's not how it works, lawyers are extremely busy people who, when are not in the office on a meeting or writing legal documents, are running around town doing what they have to do, with their clients on trial, picking up and dropping off papers, etc. Never just pop in without an appointment, you're bound to wait... a lot.

Also, legal processes take time, if something in a lawsuit you filed had minor progression and was still not given to the judge last week it's probably not going to change within the next month, at least not here unless it's urgent, which it rarely is. Calling every day 3 times a day isn't going to make it any faster.

 

[TheDoctor455]

Do get some weirdos though.

Had one kid asking me what I thought the black market value of various poached animal body parts would be.

I kid you not. A student actually asked me that.

First: You have my sympathies.

Second: How did you answer that question?

If I was in your shoes, I probably would have drawn a comparison to how well organs from [insert-class'-general-age here] year old kids sell.

I'd like to say it was something along the lines of "10 to 20 years in prison", but I wasn't exactly feeling quick-witted at the time... so my replies (he asked me more than once, and then tried to sell me, and then give me this crap that he claimed to have) were mainly more polite variants of 'shut up and get back to work on what your teacher wants you to do.'

 

[Joccaren]

Passive-Aggressive Circuits, engage!

Oh god this. Working at a Fish and Chip shop... people are idiots.

7. DO NOT IGNORE US. If you ask how much food you need for three people, we will tell you. If you ignore us, order triple that amount, then balk at the price, you've got only yourself to blame. If you ask for something and we tell you it won't work or can't happen, we don't mean we just don't feel like it. We mean it cannot happen. You might be very smart but chances are we know more about our food than you do. LISTEN TO US.

Heh, at least it works that way for you. Works opposite for me. "How much chips do you think I'll need?"
"Generally about $1.50 per adult, dependent on how much you usually eat"
"Alright, I'll take $5.00 of chips thanks".
Calls back 10 minutes after picking up the order complaining that the $5 of chips wasn't enough to feed 4 adults and 3 kids. I did say $1.50 per adult, you would have a minimum of $6, and probably $2-3 extra for the kids. Not my fault you don't believe me when I tell you info.

8. DO NOT INSULT OR THREATEN US. Let's get one thing crystal clear: Nothing you say or do could even come close to actually threatening our jobs. We're human. We make mistakes. So do you. If you're unhappy, we'll work to fix it. What we won't do is perform better after your ten-minute accusatory rant. Puffing up for some alpha male bullshit does not make you superior; we left the caves a long time ago and generally I think it was a good move. Calling us incompetent does not make you particularly clever; if you were competent you'd be making your own dinner instead of paying us to do it for you. Claiming to know the owner does not impress us; we all know him too -- better than you do. Don't say you've been a customer for thirty years, don't tell us how much money you make or how much you spend here. None of this has any bearing on what you can or cannot expect us to do. None, zip, zero. Got it? We find your attempts to bully and belittle us to be amateurish and insipid. THERE IS A MINIMUM LEVEL OF COURTESY YOU OWE TO EVERY HUMAN YOU DEAL WITH WHETHER YOU THINK YOU DO OR NOT. MEET THAT MINIMUM OR GET OUT.

Yeah, hate this. Get called up, someone starts abusing me "One sec, I'll get the boss". Turns out they don't know him quite as well as they would like half the time, or that "Knowing him" meant having had calls like this before with him 'cause they apparently dislike our prices, but keep coming back nonetheless just so they can abuse us more each time they order -.-

The other thing I hate is people that come in and order "Uhh, can I have fish and chips thanks".
NO. WE SERVE MCDONALDS.
Seriously, yes you can have fish and chips, we're a fish and chips shop, how much fish, how much chips, what type of fish, what extras would you like, is there a meal that you would like to order?
You don't walk into McDonald's and ask "Can I have McDonalds please", and you don't just ask for a burger and fries either. You'll ask for a specific type of burger, and a specific size of fries. Give me some idea of what you want to order beyond just the name of the store. If you do this you are the worst kind of human being as there is almost no way to subtly ask "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT!"

 

[Wolf In A Bear Suit]

I've got you all beat.

I'm a substitute teacher.

Its my job to go into a room full of argumentative trolls that take it as a victory if they cost me my job or actually manage to hurt my feelings.

(they haven't managed either yet, thankfully)

Do get some weirdos though.

Had one kid asking me what I thought the black market value of various poached animal body parts would be.

I kid you not. A student actually asked me that.

As a 17 year old in secondary school, I can tell you that some stranger stuff has happened to sub teachers been in my time. For instance, everyone hiding under the desks and denying their own existence and refusing to respond to anyone despite being clearly visible. Then there's the impromptu raves. There's the usual mockery, hijynx and general idiocy. Every year towards the end of the year there is a spate of pranks by people in their final year. For instance in one nearby school, students payed for a crane to put their teachers car on the roof. They were turned down when it was discovered what the crane was for. So yeah I feel you man, if you show any weakness as a sub-teacher, you're in trouble.
Sorry if I strayed off topic, I just wanted to share some annecdotes along this vain, and ust wanted to say. I imagine working with 13-17 year old teenagers must be horrible.

 

[lacktheknack]

Dear Customers:

If you leave milk on the grocery shelf outside the cooler, it will go bad and we can't sell it.

The people at the front of the store are willing to take the items you don't want and put them back. It's what we're paid to do. You walk by us anyways, so just hold on to the milk if you can't be bothered to put it back yourself and give it to us.

Please stop leaving six or seven gallons of milk scattered around the store. You're making cows weep blood.

Sincerely: lacktheknack

 

[Stryc9]

If you tell me you have backed up all of your data, I am going to assume you have backed up all your data when I wipe your computer to upgrade it. Don't cry to me when you are missing data.

This. So much this. Especially when these people should know where all their files are stored and know how to copy them to somewhere else.

I'm sure the IT guys on this forum have plenty to say, so I'll keep my complaints short.
5) Being under 30 and claiming to be "computer illiterate". Well, perhaps I'm being unreasonable here. It's not like these things were around when you were growing up. Oh...wait.

You'd be surprised at how many people under 30 aren't computer literate in the least. This guy I've worked for in the past has two kids who were constantly not only fucking up their own computers, but then after theirs were well and good screwed up going on to fuck his up too. Both of them are around 18-25 and they're both blooming idiots when it comes to computers. They constantly go around the internet downloading every single "Free movies and TV" toolbar and every other malware scam on the internet. They continuously fall for this shit, clicking on the "win a free iPad" banners and all and then not understanding why the computer doesn't work right any more.

 

[sXeth]

(Secondhand Shop)

Well, you see, any minor fading/scratches/small chips/book crease is why you're buying this for 3.00 not the 34.99 you can see on the back of the book right here. And they were probably there and already considered when it was priced. And if its somehow accrued a major defect after pricing to reach a point it wouldn't have been put out... why do you want it again?

(there also any number of customers who've been caught cutting buttons off, taking drawer handles from dressers/legs from couches, or sticking one shoe in their pocket then wanting a discount on the single odd shoe left over)

 

[Scars Unseen]

Here's a few specific things I deal with working as a cashier at a military commissary(grocery store run by the government):

1) Your rank doesn't matter to me. This goes double for your spouse's rank if you're a dependent. I will treat you with the respect I owe every human being, but I will not break policy for you.

2) No, scratch that. Your rank does matter. If you are a high ranking enlisted member and especially if you are an officer, you should know better than to act out when you don't get your way.

3) You are military. We are DoD. When you abandon your cart full of groceries in the middle of the store and don't tell us about it, any refrigerated products that go bad cannot be sold. Until you pay for it, that stuff is government property. I do believe you've heard the phrase "Fraud, Waste and Abuse?" How about "destruction of government property?"

4) We close at 7:00 PM(or 1900 if you prefer). That does not mean make a mad dash for the door at the last minute and then go on a leisurely shopping trip. When we make the announcement that we are closed, that means that you take what you have and get in line so we can get you out. We aren't allowed to work overtime.

5) Similarly, I am not going to let you in once I lock the door. I don't care what your watch says. The problem with waiting until the last minute is that there are no minutes after it. Come back tomorrow(and don't get cute and try to sneak in the exit. We are watching those).

6) Yes, I know it sucks that you can't escort your friends/family into the commissary. It's a base commander policy, and I cannot and will not make an exception to it. Neither will the manager. And before you bring it up, I know that escort regulations say that you have to stay with escorted visitors to the base at all times. That is not a 'gotcha.' If you have to stay with them, and they cannot come in here, that means you shouldn't be coming in here either. But that's on your own integrity. I'm just watching the door.

 

[Jordi]

It sounds to me like all of you complainers need to develop some patience and people skills. Thinking "I'm know a lot about the body/computers/food/whatever so I'll get a job helping people with it" completely misses the part about how you would be working with people. If you're not good at that, then you quite simply suck at your job. Don't blame your customers for that; work on improving that part of yourself or find a job that you are suitable for.

I'm sure some of your customers are idiots, but you need to be able to deal with that. Furthermore, a lot of the complaints in this topic are about totally reasonable and understandable customer behavior. To take the OP as an example: the first two questions are totally reasonable as they are about why someone would need to get a personal trainer. They want to know if this is something they need to invest their hard-earned money in. If after question 1 it turns out that they will not be able to "just do it by themselves", they ask a question about whether they cannot get the required knowledge in some cheaper manner (e.g. from a program or perhaps even a book). The third statement is a bit more confrontational, but it's basically just calling attention to the fact that ObsidianJones conveniently left out the part about how he's personally invested in the advice he just gave (which I think is fine by the way).

Here is the thing: of course your customers don't have your level of expertise. If they did, they didn't need you and you wouldn't have a job. In fact, they may know so little about what you do, that they aren't sure if haggling is appropriate or how they should order or what is and isn't normally included in your service or what you can and cannot do. But that is how you make your living. You eat because of these people.

Furthermore, you must realize that you are representing your company. I don't think it's okay to insult customer service employees and I think customers would do good to remember that a lot of things aren't their fault, but if your company does something that annoys that customer you should accept that you're going to be the one hearing about it. It's not like they can call up the CEO. You shouldn't complain about these people, but about (or actually to) your company. That's how it's supposed to work: by passing on customer complaints your company get improve itself, which should decrease the number of disappointed customers you need to deal with. If your company isn't open to such improvements, I feel for you, but it's not your customers' fault.

 

[MorganL4]

I pretty much don't give a fuck about the customers or what they do, I work as a cashier.

It's remarkable to me how when something doesn't come up the right price they will ALWAYS make a joke about how it should be free. Rarely are they serious, they just genuinely believe they're being clever and witty and I hear the same line from every single one of them and I've been doing this 5 years!!!!

Oh, GOD!!! yes........ this, totally this.......

But it works both ways, I get to tell the same stupid jokes over and over again, and people think that I am freaking George Carlin.... They don't seem to realize that there is no such thing as a "unique" scenario at a cash register, and so I only need a repertoire of about 15 jokes to come across as the friendliest, wittiest, person on the planet (The truth is I can be quite funny, all the jokes I use I came up with myself, but I've used the same ones so many times its not even fun anymore, it just makes customer satisfaction go up so I still do it.)

 

[Total LOLige]

The other thing I hate is people that come in and order "Uhh, can I have fish and chips thanks".

I don't know about the U.S but in the UK when someone asks that it means they'll have one portion of chips and fish. Do people really say that when they want ten bags of chips? Just curious.

On a somewhat related note I hate ordering from fast food chains because they ask too many questions about your order. Can anyone that works in Maccie Ds tell me if there's like a script you have to follow. I feel dead awkward when I'm dead specific and say "Can I just have a double cheeseburger please, thank you" and then get asked whether I want a drink or the new Mc Chicken Shit Artery Clogger 3000(it's never that specific, that's just for comedic effect). How am I meant to order? Should I be as vague as possible and just say "food please". I'm not attacking anyone that works in the food biz for this, I imagine employees are meant to push you into buying extras and all that. I don't work in customer service(or work at all) but I admire those that do because you've got to take a load of shit for just doing your job, good work you're a credit to our awful species. I'm sure it won't be long before I have to feel your pain but I do have quite a high patience so maybe it won't be that bad. Also all these IT related posts are making me chuckle.

Spoiler: This is for all the customer service workers out there

I was going to go with Chesney Hakwes - One and Only but it's shit so this will have to do.