..and nobody remembered. But I'm not vain enough to create a whole post complaining about that. Allow me to explain. But, then, it probably won't make much sense once I've explained it, either.
My health is steadily failing into what appears will be a dead end. My girlfriend, who I poured most of myself into for various reasons, has been manipulated into hating me by people who dislike me, along with many of my closest friends. Many of the rest are tired of dealing with me and ignore me altogether. Draw your own assumptions of what the end result is, but hold your torches (and words), this isn't a thread to ask for pity and advice, either.
Shit's hit the fan, but I've gone through it before. Doesn't make it hurt any less, but it's no longer a stranger in my home, so to speak. I've got a nice chair, a coke, a bit of food and some happy music (Marillion, look them up), so I'm just kinda chilling out while I can. It's getting cool this time of year, too, so I'm enjoying the lack of heat.
Now, anyone who has made it this far is going to be wondering what it's about, if anything, and severely doubting my claim that the post isn't for pity. You see, I've kinda fallen below the surface. I've a few friends left, but I hardly ever see them. The rest have moved on from me. Despite how at home I am with the notion of myself dying at this stupidly young age, I'm not a robot, and the feeling of not being wanted or belonging anywhere is one my mind isn't a fan of.
And special dates are a bit of a thing to me. Christmas, New Years, my own birthday and those of people exceptionally close to me are all very important for whatever reason. I've been completely alone for most of today, as well as the aforementioned nobody remembering or realizing what the day was. It's pretty shitty, and the feeling of not belonging anywhere came back like a freight train through one's living room.
I guess my mind figures at this point that an online forum where nobody knows me and could honestly not give less of a shit is as good as anything I'll end up etching out, so it settled for what it got. So for the lifespan of this thread, be it 5 minutes or 5 years, I'll be a little bitty part of the Escapist. And that's all I want.
So for anyone who's had the patience to make it this far, have a good month. September's a great month. Autumn is a great season. I'm happy to have been born when I was.
My health is steadily failing into what appears will be a dead end. My girlfriend, who I poured most of myself into for various reasons, has been manipulated into hating me by people who dislike me, along with many of my closest friends. Many of the rest are tired of dealing with me and ignore me altogether. Draw your own assumptions of what the end result is, but hold your torches (and words), this isn't a thread to ask for pity and advice, either.
Shit's hit the fan, but I've gone through it before. Doesn't make it hurt any less, but it's no longer a stranger in my home, so to speak. I've got a nice chair, a coke, a bit of food and some happy music (Marillion, look them up), so I'm just kinda chilling out while I can. It's getting cool this time of year, too, so I'm enjoying the lack of heat.
Now, anyone who has made it this far is going to be wondering what it's about, if anything, and severely doubting my claim that the post isn't for pity. You see, I've kinda fallen below the surface. I've a few friends left, but I hardly ever see them. The rest have moved on from me. Despite how at home I am with the notion of myself dying at this stupidly young age, I'm not a robot, and the feeling of not being wanted or belonging anywhere is one my mind isn't a fan of.
And special dates are a bit of a thing to me. Christmas, New Years, my own birthday and those of people exceptionally close to me are all very important for whatever reason. I've been completely alone for most of today, as well as the aforementioned nobody remembering or realizing what the day was. It's pretty shitty, and the feeling of not belonging anywhere came back like a freight train through one's living room.
I guess my mind figures at this point that an online forum where nobody knows me and could honestly not give less of a shit is as good as anything I'll end up etching out, so it settled for what it got. So for the lifespan of this thread, be it 5 minutes or 5 years, I'll be a little bitty part of the Escapist. And that's all I want.
So for anyone who's had the patience to make it this far, have a good month. September's a great month. Autumn is a great season. I'm happy to have been born when I was.
