Debate; Modern technology and networking has made dating/relationships harder instead of easier?

[Addendum_Forthcoming]

I've never used a dating app or anything like that. I've never been on a date or anything either. Never tried to talk to a girl in public because I always assume they will just call me a creep or just tell me to get lost.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go cry myself to sleep.

You should pre drink before hitting a pub or bar (inhibition is the true bane) ... not too much, two-three glasses of standard AC wine. Not shots. Then try talking to people and drink slow during a night out.

Personally speaking, one of the biggest turns offs for me is when it's clear I've been drinking throughout the night, and it's clear I'm taking it slowly because I recognise that fact I need to keep a level head, when someone else approachs me and puts a few drinks away in the time I've had one. Each time asking if I would like another when it's kind of clear I'm nursing mine.

This isn't always for sinister reasons, mind you. Sometimes they're just shy and need a bit of Dutch courage to initiate a conversation or open up about themselves. And of course getting soused to open up about yourself leads to TMI and being casually insulting.

Plus I used to manage a bar ... regardless of what regulars say, when you start going above .06, sexual performance tapers off significantly ... particularly in men. So guys that are likely to get really soused are lacklustre in the bedroom... and that alone could ruin what might have been a lasting relationship.

 

[gsilver]

Well... I wasn't getting dates before or after social media became a thing.
Though I haven't tried in years and doubt that there's even a point in trying at my age. Mix in some depression, sleeping issues, and HFA, and, well...

 

[Secondhand Revenant]

So while on break at work today I was reading some of the opinion pieces that pop-up on MSN from time to time. This one happened to be about modern day relationships and dating, and the idea that modern technologies and features like Facebook, Tinder, dating sites etc. have actually made modern relationships worse and harder, not better. The one line that I thought might be most relevant to a discussion was this;

"Modern dating has only gotten harder not only for men, but also for women.

Men now have to deal with competition that effectively encompasses anyone who can operate a computer long enough to create an account, while now dealing with the fact that women have an easy, hands-on way of rejecting them and other men en-masse - that's after they get over the masses of spam bots (who likely outnumber living humans at this point) trying to take the personal information of the desperate and unwary alike.

Women are doubly hurt by such new systems, as sites like Tinder and Facebook provide a never-ending parade of likes, upvotes and swipes to feed into the worst bits of narcissism and selfie culture that exist today.

And while of course now nearly any women who can operate the filter on her camera can basically scroll and pick and reject mates left and right like some Queen or Princess of old, in doing so they expose themselves to every man (and woman) of ill intent or plain vile character out there; which it does not appear to be entirely uncommon, judging by the horror stories readily available on or about nearly any site."

I feel like I'm going to keep my personal opinion out of this one, at least to start, lest I poison the well.

Sorry, did he mean to say better?

More competition... like what does that jackass think this is? It can be considered competition, sure, but it's such an utterly selfish view. It can also be seen from the view that this gives people more freedom in who they can look for. It is utterly pathetic for him to view it from the lens of "Oh no, they might like someone else better and now they might actually find them! If only they had more limited options so they liked me!" What a creepy view lol

An easy way or rejecting people is a bonus. Consider it... suppose they didn't have it? What's the benefit there? Who benefits? Those who benefit are the creeps that make it hard to reject them, if someone *wants* to reject someone else then it is best if they are able to do so with ease, only people who want to keep hanging on benefit there

That 'queen or princess of old' thing is disgusting for the same reasons tbh. People should be able to be picky. The article sounds like it was written by some paternalistic creep that wishes women had less options so they'd pick people like him more easily

 

[StatusNil]

Too many options.

There, condensed in three words. Why is that? Because the optimal reproductive strategy women have evolved is to concentrate on the best available potential mate. And what with so many available, it's not very feasible in practice. So there's constant dissatisfaction for women, and constant rejection for men.

Oh, and I don't need pitchforks to tell me I'm a "BIOTROOFER" Heretic for saying that. It's not like I'm going to apologize. There is grandeur in this view of life, as Darwin put it.

 

[laggyteabag]

This thread started in March. A spambot dragged it from the depths. Thanks, spambot!

I can't really comment on finding a date, because I have only ever been in a single relationship (who I met at my place of work), and I have never touched any form on online dating app, but I can say that maintaining a relationship is incredibly easy now, due to social media, etc.

My current girlfriend lives almost 200 miles away, when she goes back to University later on this month. I'd put a lot of money on saying that if we did not have access to texting, instant messaging, or video chat, we would not be together.

We've been together for almost a year and a half, now. I owe a lot of that success to Facebook messenger, frankly.

 

[Parasondox]

I honestly dont remember commenting on this page but okay. My answer did that fit the topic.

For anyone LGBTQ+ it has made things a bit more easier because if you have just come out, or discover who you are sexually and looking for a partner, it's not easy to find one in person compared to online. Some people don't have a strong gaydar.

I mean, i had people reject me because I didnt have a Facebook account. Strange that.

 

[maninahat]

I think technology has made relationships way easier. The biggest obstacle growing up is getting the guts together and walking up to a relative stranger and, in front of their giggling friends, ask them if they are willing to risk hanging out with another complete stranger. The internet and tinder is a boon to the more introverted, less confident types who feel happier expressing themselves from the safety of a phone/keyboard. It doesn't eliminate the social anxiety or awkwardness, but it certainly helps.

It also potentially allows for stronger relationships, in that whilst things like Tinder are primarily based around shallow sex appeal, the subsequent chats that happen on there (as well as the ease to find people with corresponding tastes) mean you can actually find people you can have a good time with, as opposed to canvasing complete strangers in bars in the hopes that they a) reciprocate an attraction to you b) like any of the things you do. That doesn't mean everyone tinder's well; there are lots of clich?s, dickheads, bots, fuck bois, and boring un-talkative people who make up the chaff. As for vanity... pfff, everyone is vain, the only difference is they now have something other than a mirror to hold up to themselves now.

Another big change to technology in my life time as well has been skype. Back when I was a kid, talking to a girlfriend over a distance meant expensive calls that use up the landline. Now I am free to see someone's face across the other side of the planet for free. Long distance relationships have gotten an awful lot more convenient, whereas before distance was one of the bigger causes of breakups for long term relationships among the likes of students.

 

[Paragon Fury]

Umm....alright. This thread lives again I guess.

 

[crypticracer]

I'm going to echo Parasondox in that I don't remember posting in this thread and didn't realize it was an old thread until I got to my post -_-

Dating via algorithm sounds, like a bad idea, but again I still don't actually know any statistics. I've never been with someone I didn't know for a period of time before hand, two or three months at a minimum. I tried using a dating site and it was, uncomfortable.