Defending yourself: Peers' answers to not so every day problems

[Kiefer13]

The crowbar on my bookshelf, and perhaps an aerosol spray to temporarily blind the assailant.

 

[Ekonk]

...I just looked around and I can't find anything here in my room that would be suitable.

Fuck.

Well, out of the window it is, I guess.

 

[mkg]

I'd grab a sandwich and see if I could get a couple more bites in...

 

[matsugawa]

Self-Defense 101: Keys.

Held in the fist with the teeth of the keys protruding from between your fingers. Far more effective than brass knuckles, and certainly greater potential for a fatal strike.

 

[Kaboose the Moose]

I am always surprised in these threads about the sheer number of people that have firearms or swords stashed under there beds/in their rooms.

Anyway, I guess I have to make do with my 'Axe' deodorant can and a cigarette lighter. Also I am several floors up from the main entrance to the building, so by the time he gets to my room he won't be expecting me to pull a Rorschach on him.

[sub]burn baby...BURN!!!..

...cue the manic laughter...[/sub]

 

[XJ-0461]

Chances are that there will be a glass in my room. I'll probably try and smash that over his/her head when they enter my room.

 

[zidine100]

a box.

 

[Nieroshai]

I have a sword sitting next to my desk, so if he has a gun I'm screwed. Probably climb out the window and drive off if I can.

 

[Sevre]

Quickly tie a string to the Moose Head above the door, as he walks in pull the string to bring it down and knock him out.

 

[El Poncho]

I guess I would take a sock put some snooker balls in it it, get ready to throw the remaining balls and my snooker que to act like some sort of spear.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

5 minutes you say? Screw fighting, I'll run away thanks.

 

[ix_tab]

Let's be honest. I am not a violent person. I'd probably be a gibbering wreck.

Ahh, reality, you are no fun for rhetorical questions.

If I don't have to pick reality, I grow wings and then shoot death beams from my nostrils at the assassins.

 

[rabidmidget]

the problem with that conundrum is that i don't think that anything in any normal house could stand much of a chance against a trained killer wielding some sort of automatic weapon...unless it was some punk who needed some extra cash, then it's just knife to the throat

 

[walls of cetepedes]

The large knife I have next to my bed for such occasions.

 

[Ren3004]

The RPG I have next to my computer...




Serious answer: my Anatomy book, that thing is heavy enough to kill someone if thrown.

 

[blackfrancis567]

Since you can walk along my roof and I'm in the attic I would just hop out the window and hop in the first window I saw open. Oh and I would leave a sign saying "Fission Mailed"

 

[WittyName]

I grab the assassin's arms, rip them off his body and beat him to death it them.

"Quit hittin' yourself!"

Sorry, had to be done.

OT: I'd use the metal pipe I have in my room. (I don't know how it got there, but now it's a weapon.)

 

[EeveeElectro]

I'd lay on my bed naked and he'd probably run back out screaming.

 

[Spacelord]

I have a knife in my kitchen block big enough to only be useful for cleaving intruders in twain, so it'll probably be that. Might as well get some mileage out of it, right?

 

[Abedeus]

A metal plate, in case the assassin has a gun.

Other than that, nothing. I've a lot of karate experience and on Monday I'm signing up for aikido.

...Then, I can pretend I didn't understand the lesson about "not hurting your opponent" and break his/her arm off.

Or just my katana and/or Persian dagger. One of them looks real enough to cut you, the other one is pointy. And CAN pierce skin, very easily.