Defending yourself: Peers' answers to not so every day problems

[WolfThomas]

I actually have a Ka-Bar knife under my bed and I have a life size plastic skeleton in my room (I'm a medical student).

I'd put the skeleton under the blankets, hide behind the door (or in my large cupboard) as it opens and depending on what he does, shoot the body shaped bulge or pull the covers off, I'd try to stab him from behind. Hope I can stay behind him and keep stab or choking him until he's dead.

Big chance I might get injured or die but short of leaving in my car...wait why don't I do that?

 

[rasmusernst]

Well I have an old butterfly knife I use as a letter opener.

Guess I'd use that.

 

[NeckStabber]

my rambo survival knife....if i can find the damn thing

 

[ipop@you]

Well considering the room where my computer is also contains my selection of weapons i would have: a broadsword, shurikens, a katana, a couple of sai, a couple of nunchuckau, throwing knives, a Bo staff, a pair of tonfa, 2 short swords or a pair of Kama to choose from.

 

[MercurySteam]

1. My Fedora with a FFVII: AC Fenrir charm attached to it (I want to go down looking awsome)
2. My cap rifle (if the Assasin is a pussy, he may believe it to be a real rifle )
3. My Lynx Dry Vice (I want to go down smelling nice)
4. My personally made crobar (not as good as Gordon Freeman's, it it will do)
5. My blank dog tags (I want to go down looking awsome X2)
6. My dad's switchblade (just in case the Assasin has real balls)

Any or all of these. XD

 

[hortez the champion of the frozen wastes]

I'd grab my katana.

Sword collecting FTW!!!

I take Kendo as well. For 7 years. =)

 

[Erja_Perttu]

First, I'd prepared a a nice mug of tea. Then, I's grab hold of my pencil sharpener, which is actually a rusty scalpel, ring my mate to get his biker gang over to my place, hide and wait.

After about ten minutes, the tea will be just about the right temperature AND I'M GONNA BE AROUND TO DRINK IT!

 

[CanadianWolverine]

okay, so you're on your pc/laptop, and suddenly you get a phone call. You answer it, beecause your mobile is in your pocket. The voice on the end of the line says you have 5 minutes to live as an assassin is coming to your door as he speaks. 2 minutes after the man hangs up, you hear your front door being smashed down. You know you only have enough time to grab something in the room to defend yourself with. What do you grab?

personally I'd grab the pen sitting on my coffee table.

That sounds like a pretty unprofessional assassin right there, in both you finding out about his contract on you and his choice of an entrance being the front door and not just tossing a bomb/molotov/shooting you through the window next to your pc/laptop - unless I am meant to assume you use your pc/laptop in a windowless room. Guess he must have found out you were alerted to your date with destiny and got hasty/sloppy. The other amazing thing about this scenario is that you had warning and you still remained at the same location (your house) for another 2 minutes without preparing in anyway. Perhaps you were scared to leave thinking about a snipers bullet or that it was a trap but that is still 3 minutes to prepare for someone who makes a living at ending other people's lives. That's practically a life time right there, maybe in that time you could hide yourself in some nook of the house only you know about and prepare a number of weapons and traps. And you have a cell phone, did you even try to call the emergency services in your area so that it narrows the assassin's window of opportunity and increases the assassin's chances of aborting because they can't spend their pay day if they get caught red handed and sent to jail for the next decade or so. Man, two minutes and did nothing? Might as well offer yourself up on a silver platter.

 

[Neesa]

As the guy was talking, I'd be heading out the door. Then I'd call up some family or whatever, break the phone and get into my car and get the hell out of there. I'd be too freaked out to stay in my house as soon as the person said "assassin". Fuck staying around to find out what happens night.

I learn from the best.
[sub]Go go Decepticons.[/sub]

Otherwise, I'd look at the number on the caller ID and wouldn't pick it up. So in that case, I'd be screwed cause I didn't pick up the phone.

My laptop, 18 inches of 'Fuckyou'.

I lol'd.

 

[Duskwaith]

Id just randomly spray my flamer.....ohh wait

I have a few hunting knives and a salt and pepper shaker to fend him of with or just take a frame of the wall go for the jugular

 

[Lynx]

I'd slam him in the head with the Nintendo Wii.

 

[evilomega13]

Run to the cuboard and pull my sword out (Don't ask why I have a sword). If I can't make it there, grab the katana letter opener on my desk...(once again, don't ask why I have one). Even though their both blunt (The letter openers probaly sharper), they can still take an eye out

 

[Voodoomancer]

I'd jump off the balcony. Seriously, It's on the other side of the house from my front doors, the fall down (about 2-3 meters) is a lot softer than it looks, and there are some bushes outside I can use to cover my escape.

That or I'd grab my megaphone, if it happens to be handy. I'd scream into it and then beat him with it while he's recovering from the shock of a loud scream from a megaphone from 2 meters away inside a hallway with bare, echoing walls.

This is of course after having called the police after the phone call.

 

[Logic 0]

I'd get my trusty lead pipe to beat the forces of evil.