Defending yourself: Peers' answers to not so every day problems

[SamFancyPants252]

okay, so you're on your pc/laptop, and suddenly you get a phone call. You answer it, beecause your mobile is in your pocket. The voice on the end of the line says you have 5 minutes to live as an assassin is coming to your door as he speaks. 2 minutes after the man hangs up, you hear your front door being smashed down. You know you only have enough time to grab something in the room to defend yourself with. What do you grab?

personally I'd grab the pen sitting on my coffee table.

 

[JRCB]

The pen sitting next to me. eventually, it will be a crowbar (in a crowbar case). But for now, I will try to surprise him with a pen to the throat.

 

[The King of Rock and Roll]

Acoustic guitar, after you smash it over his head for shock value, then you can use the jagged peice of the neck thats still intact to stab him. The end.

 

[traceur_]

I'd grab the kettle and throw scalding hot water on him. Then he'd probably find me again and kill me.

 

[Irridium]

Well, if he does it while I'm cooking, I'll take the pan thats boiling hot and burn his fucking face off.

 

[Silver]

Hehe. Chain mail within arms reach, sword a meter away and lots of nice tools right in front of me. I'm not actually expecting someone to come kill me, I just happen to make chain mail, and the sword is pretty.

 

[Gardenclaw]

The duvet. Throw it over him so he can't see fuck all and attack.....

 

[mcp1992]

My weapon would be a sock for the stench should knock them out long enough for me to find somthing more deadly.

 

[Ambitious Sloth]

I grab the assassin's arms, rip them off his body and beat him to death it them.

 

[Insanum]

The Very Large Metal bar under my bed, Or the CRT monitor. And various other items.

And My Massive jacket, Its big enough to hide Kevlar under there.

 

[TMAN10112]

By the time he got to "5 minutes" and "assasin" I would already have my kevlar vest, tactical gear, and shotgun loaded with 6+1 rounds of 00 buck set and ready to go.

Seriously, preparing for stuff like that is my hobby.

Edit: Of course, if I somehow couldn't get to my stuff in time, my best bet would probably be the razor-knife which happens to be sitting next to my keyboard at this very moment(Although I'm not sure why.....).

 

[dmase]

I'd tell my friends that if they fuck up the door they're buying it and to stop banging. Because i would remember there is no reason for an assassin to kill me.

Yeah i'm a spoil sport.

 

[Kasawd]

I assume mister assassin is good at his work. In which case, I grab my cat, sit on my swivelly chair and turn as he enters petting the cat.

"Hello mr. Assassin"

 

[SamFancyPants252]

I assume mister assassin is good at his work. In which case, I grab my cat, sit on my swivelly chair and turn as he enters petting the cat.

"Hello mr. Assassin"

wow I actually laughed aloud at that one

 

[Berethond]

By the time he's said "assass-" I'd be off the phone, out the window, and down the block.

 

[The Austin]

My .22.

..... I probably wouldnt have time to take it out of the case, remove the lock, load the bullets into the magazine, and load the magazine into the gun though........

Bummer.

So I guess I would just throw a coffie mug at him.

 

[Hikikomori Ookami]

Well what's Mr. Assassin trying to kill me with? If he has a gun it's the throwing knives in the drawer to my right, if it's a knife it will be the be the broken pool stick sitting on my desk. Either way I'd probably wish I was in another room. My options are a bit limited here.

My .22.

..... I probably wouldnt have time to take it out of the case, remove the lock, load the bullets into the magazine, and load the magazine into the gun though........

Bummer.

So I guess I would just throw a coffie mug at him.

You could throw the case at him and hope it's enough of a distraction to finish loading it...