Defending yourself: Peers' answers to not so every day problems

[theSovietConnection]

Throw my ammo box at him, or maybe my Claymore. That'd hopefully baffle him long enough for me to grab something useful, like my Fubar.

 

[Kasawd]

I assume mister assassin is good at his work. In which case, I grab my cat, sit on my swivelly chair and turn as he enters petting the cat.

"Hello mr. Assassin"

wow I actually laughed aloud at that one

My only regret? My cat is orange and white with short hair, not long haired and white.

Well what's Mr. Assassin trying to kill me with? If he has a gun it's the throwing knives in the drawer to my right, if it's a knife it will be the be the broken pool stick sitting on my desk. Either way I'd probably wish I was in another room. My options are a bit limited here.

Throwing knives. I like. Also, the pool stick has some style to it.

 

[The Austin]

My .22.

..... I probably wouldnt have time to take it out of the case, remove the lock, load the bullets into the magazine, and load the magazine into the gun though........

Bummer.

So I guess I would just throw a coffie mug at him.

No use in having a gun if it isn't ready to be picked up at a pin's drop for defence.

It's not a handgun, it's a rifle. And I usually only use it when I'm at the range, or when my mother is over. (ZING!)

 

[Lady Nilstria]

Depending on time constraints, my throwing knives and hunting knife are within arm's length, while my sharpened rapier and main gauche are about ten feet away. I'd probably pick hunting knife and main gauche since my room is small.

Then again, I would have had much more forewarning then the phone call since my dogs bark at absolutely anything they don't recognize, even if they recognize it. Yes, that is contradictory, but they are dachshunds. Dachshunds are notoriously idiotic.

My cat is usually much farther away so I wouldn't have the chance to pull a FanofDeath on the person.

I could also hit the assassin with my bugle horn? Or throw Liquin painting medium at the assassin? It's in a glass bottle.

 

[LewsTherin]

Grab my bayonet and hop on the bike and leave.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

I'd pull the katana out from under my bed.

 

[Kasawd]

Depending on time constraints, my throwing knives and hunting knife are within arm's length, while my sharpened rapier and main gauche are about ten feet away. I'd probably pick hunting knife and main gauche since my room is small.

Then again, I would have had much more forewarning then the phone call since my dogs bark at absolutely anything they don't recognize, even if they recognize it. Yes, that is contradictory, but they are dachshunds. Dachshunds are notoriously idiotic.

My cat is usually much farther away so I wouldn't have the chance to pull a FanofDeath on the person.

I could also hit the assassin with my bugle horn? Or throw Liquin painting medium at the assassin? It's in a glass bottle.

Damn it! I think I just became a verb!

Rapier, eh? My sword of choice. Mine is ornamental, however and my combat knife is away at a friends, so I wouldn't have much hope were I in my room.

 

[Guitar Gamer]

well since the person who I am living with right now likes to collect class antiques, heavy ones....................................I'd say oh.........................................pen?

 

[chiggerwood]

I'd grab my machete.

HI BILLY MAYS HERE FOR THE MACHETE! Do you need a weapon that's Cheap, Easy to wield, and Looks as scary as my talking, zombified corpse at this current moment? Then get the weapon of choice for Military, Guerrilla Fighters, and Hockey Mask Wearing Serial Killers for over 50 YEARS! WAIT That's not all!!! Call in the next fifteen minutes and we'll give you a second machete absolutely free. Give one to your wife, kids, or even dual wield!!! Just pay shipping and handling. Here's how to order.

 

[The_Echo]

I would pick up my fists (In case you were wondering, yes, I have two sets of hands.) and hide.

Sneak up behind him and punch him in the back of the head.

Or, use my palms. Palm thrust to the nose, and I would be the assassin.

 

[MasterSqueak]

My giant wooden battle axe.

Yes, I have a wooden battle axe. I got it at Medieval Times.

 

[Xanadeas]

Well there's the bayonet under my bed, the four knives at the head of it, the two big ass flash lights that could be used as bludgeoning weapons. My dog would probably take a few bites out of him... Then there's the 4-6' walking cane within arm's reach which I could also use to bludgeon him with... And the decorative dagger thing I got hanging on my wall. It's pointy enough to stab someone with. THEN there's the drawing compass. VERY pointy. Really there are plenty of ways for me to kill someone.

 

[Mcupobob]

The gun under my bed, granted it's not loaded and the clip is locked up I think I could bluff him.

 

[Lady Nilstria]

Well there's the bayonet under my bed, the four knives at the head of it, the two big ass flash lights that could be used as bludgeoning weapons. My dog would probably take a few bites out of him... Then there's the 4-6' walking cane within arm's reach which I could also use to bludgeon him with... And the decorative dagger thing I got hanging on my wall. It's pointy enough to stab someone with. THEN there's the drawing compass. VERY pointy. Really there are plenty of ways for me to kill someone.

I've noticed that if you're creative, you could kill someone with just about anything. Hair barrettes, calculator, drawing mannequin, notebook, thumbtack...I could go on.

I'd throw out examples of how to use said objects, but that might be hazardous to other people's health.

 

[KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life]

My 360's Power Brick.

If he has a gun, I'd try and talk him out of it, failing that I'd hope to god he hits me in the arm so I can play possum and either jump him or wait for him to leave and call the cops.

 

[Twilight_guy]

I'd grab my trusty crystal skull and chuck it at him. If I'm lucky the acrylic thing will knock him on the head and crack his skull. If not, then I'm dead anyways. Of course I might also grab the scissors I have sitting in my pen cup. I swift stab to the side and I could do some real damage.

 

[War Penguin]

Nothing. I would just clumsily throw my self at the assassin.
Effective? No. Funny? Yes.
Realistically I'd grab one of the lead pipes behind my bed. Smashy, smashy.

 

[phoenixbeast]

Hmmm Choices....

Bad...
_Claymore on wall...Too bulky...
_Pellet gun...No damage potential...

Good...
_Katana...Good possibility...
_Trench Knife...Quick, sharp, and two throwing knives with it
_Arm blades...Those might work...
_Two Machetes...Nice reach yet still quick...And dual wield=Awesome...
_Diving Knife...Or survival knife...Or Rambo knife...Or one of three other knives...all would do the job...
_M1 Garand...Now there is a MAN'S gun...Take him down in 1 or 2 shots depending on placement...
_357 Magnum Revolver...Also an inheritance from my grandfather (same as Garand)...That will also take him down in...

Yeah, I feel sorry for the assassin...