Depression?

[smokeybearsb]

Hey everyone I just wanted to throw this out there-whenever I get depressed I seem to be happier than when I'm not... basically, I like being depressed and feeling bad. It seems to be brought on by fighting with my parents, procrastinating and trying to do homework at the last minute, or being left out of stuff. I know these are really typical reasons why people would become depressed, I just want to figure out why I like being depressed more than being happy. When I'm in a great mood, outspoken and stuff, I'll bump back into reality and realize that I want to be depressed. It seems really odd.

This summer I remember I had it really bad the days following when I found out my friend was moving out of the country, and it's been coming back every few weeks or so. Not too long ago I was in my study hall class and I didn't want to talk to anyone or have any interaction at all really. I remember specifically censoring my actions so I wouldn't make eye contact with one of my good friends so he wouldn't talk to me. Whenever I get depressed I like to stay that way and later that day I reluctantly started to feel better.

Does anyone know anything about it or have any thoughts?

 

[Dragon_of_red]

Um, just try not to turn into a serial killer okay?

That is quite weird i hate being depressed and sad, and everyone around me hates it, whenever i am, i rarely get angry or depressed, but when i do its really bad and most people get worried. I hate it, i cant see why someone would like it.

 

[Shru1kan]

Chin up is all I can say. How I keep myself level on my bipolar.


Oh and its pretty simple as to why you want to be depressed. I have a feeling you have low self esteem, and don't think you're deserving of any other feeling rather than depression.

 

[smokeybearsb]

Chin up is all I can say. How I keep myself level on my bipolar.


Oh and its pretty simple as to why you want to be depressed. I have a feeling you have low self esteem, and don't think you're deserving of any other feeling rather than depression.

Not necessarily. Lately I've had heightened self-esteem and I think that's why I've been feeling better.

 

[[Kira Must Die]]

Well, I used to be depressed, but not anymore.

But, my girlfriend is dealing with suicidal thought. I onced talked to her while she was attempting it (She told me she was in the tube with a razor in her hand.). I talked her out of it, but she's still trying to kill herself. Last time she tried to slit her throut but her brother stopped her and took her to the hospital. Me and her brother are currently watching over her making sure she doesn't do anything.

 

[ReincarnatedFTP]

Sounds like you're an emotional masochist.

 

[Cherry Cola]

Well, I used to be depressed, but not anymore.

But, my girlfriend is dealing with suicidal thought. I onced talked to her while she was attempting it (She told me she was in the tube with a razor in her hand.). I talked her out of it, but she's still trying to kill herself. Last time she tried to slit her throut but her brother stopped her and took her to the hospital. Me and her brother are currently watching over her making sure she doesn't do anything.

Such things are never easy. I know how that feels.

OT: Have you tried to talk to your friends? You say that after being depressed you feel better, but have you tried to just talk with others?

 

[Caligulove]

I went through the same thing in middle school and freshman year of high school. And if you don't take offense to what I took from it- you don't like being depressed.

I thought the same thing- the same kind of procrastination, family fighting, and the same problems of me deliberately trying to make myself isolated or just not talking to people. But I got much more social as school went along and began feeling happier than I ever had in my entire life because I never went back and felt so sorry for myself. It was almost like a crutch for me and I relied on it too much.

But you never really like it- or at least I never did. I felt like I used it as more of an excuse to be content with things and not feel bad when they didnt go my way. But I've found much more happiness in the opposite. It sure is a lot more emotional with more people in my life and more problems and challenges... but its hell of a lot more fun.

It sounds retarded to me even saying it, but it makes me feel more alive to be doing things and having a bit more unpredictability and emotional shit in my life.

The one thing to remind yourself, though, is to always do at least one thing for yourself and be happy with yourself more than anything- to have confidence in yourself, or at least something. and If you think I'm daft... then who cares what I think and live your life like you are.

 

[noodles loves you]

Here's a nice simple tip. If you're feeling down but not on pills for actual depression be happy with that. Or at least don't be like the million and one people who claim to be depressed (or weirdly claim to have high function mental disabilities) to seem edgy or cool. There's a road to some level of fulfilment.

But yeah things are never as bad as they can be

 

[Dark Knifer]

I don't think this is entirely health. I have been depressed before and I hated it. The honest truth is (no flaming please) is religion pulled me out of depression. I'm not going to tell you to give your life to jesus or anything like that. This is just the honest truth, and I feel alot better after finding it.

 

[TheSeventhLoneWolf]

I don't think this is entirely health. I have been depressed before and I hated it. The honest truth is (no flaming please) is religion pulled me out of depression. I'm not going to tell you to give your life to jesus or anything like that. This is just the honest truth, and I feel alot better after finding it.

Hey. That's fair enough. I'm happy for you and your beliefs and yes. They are good for something and have been for a long time.

But anyways. I've been in depression for a long time before. It's like an old tire, it wears down.

 

[ribonuge]

I used to have bad anxiety and mild depression. My parents/doctor stuck me on anti depressants and I felt better after a few months. I still have lingering moments but I can control it now. Although I am quite intraverted as a result I find I understand things alot better and i'm more creative. It's interesting but I think i'm a borderline misanthrope towards most of society - i'm quite paranoid too. All package and parcel I guess.

 

[fuckwit]

I don't think this is entirely health. I have been depressed before and I hated it. The honest truth is (no flaming please) is religion pulled me out of depression. I'm not going to tell you to give your life to jesus or anything like that. This is just the honest truth, and I feel alot better after finding it.

*Gives flame shield

Forced depression is pretty bad man. I have a similar thing where I like holding grudges but I in no way can. In the end it's just selfishness on my part because I like being moody and stuff.

 

[smokeybearsb]

I don't think this is entirely health. I have been depressed before and I hated it. The honest truth is (no flaming please) is religion pulled me out of depression. I'm not going to tell you to give your life to jesus or anything like that. This is just the honest truth, and I feel alot better after finding it.

Yeah, I'm not going to doubt that spirituality will pull you out of depression. It seems like humans generally need spirituality to carry them along. My problem might lie in the fact that I'm agnostic, and extremely existentialist. Every few minutes or so I realize that this is my reality/the world isn't nearly as structured as it might seem...all the typical stuff..

But you never really like it- or at least I never did. I felt like I used it as more of an excuse to be content with things and not feel bad when they didnt go my way. But I've found much more happiness in the opposite. It sure is a lot more emotional with more people in my life and more problems and challenges... but its hell of a lot more fun.

It sounds retarded to me even saying it, but it makes me feel more alive to be doing things and having a bit more unpredictability and emotional shit in my life.

The one thing to remind yourself, though, is to always do at least one thing for yourself and be happy with yourself more than anything- to have confidence in yourself, or at least something. and If you think I'm daft... then who cares what I think and live your life like you are.

It's really not that I don't think. I'll be happy, but then it's the times that I realize when I'm happy that things will start to go downhill. I just like moping around for some reason.

I think I should also clarify that my depressive moods don't last that long, as in not lasting for months at a time like it seems most people have it. Mine tend to be for a few days at a time, but I don't think it's just me being selfish.

 

[BonsaiK]

Hey everyone I just wanted to throw this out there-whenever I get depressed I seem to be happier than when I'm not... basically, I like being depressed and feeling bad. It seems to be brought on by fighting with my parents, procrastinating and trying to do homework at the last minute, or being left out of stuff. I know these are really typical reasons why people would become depressed, I just want to figure out why I like being depressed more than being happy. When I'm in a great mood, outspoken and stuff, I'll bump back into reality and realize that I want to be depressed. It seems really odd.

This summer I remember I had it really bad the days following when I found out my friend was moving out of the country, and it's been coming back every few weeks or so. Not too long ago I was in my study hall class and I didn't want to talk to anyone or have any interaction at all really. I remember specifically censoring my actions so I wouldn't make eye contact with one of my good friends so he wouldn't talk to me. Whenever I get depressed I like to stay that way and later that day I reluctantly started to feel better.

Does anyone know anything about it or have any thoughts?

WARNING: actual answer to the question follows.

You feel comfortable with depression because it's something that you're familiar with and that you know how to deal with. Humans are naturally resistant to change and are creatures of habit - especially teenagers who are forcded along a path of change that they don't necessarily want to go on. You like depression because it's in your comfort zone, it's like a little bubble that protects you from the world, and being there isn't a "happy" feeling but what it does do is give you is a sense of control over a part of your world where most things are in fact not within your control (parents and their rules, timing of homework, what other people think of you, etc). Social interaction on the other hand requires stepping out of this bubble and experiencing things that may or may not be pleasant, but are definitely to a large extent within the hands of other people (or that's how your brain sees it anyway). Happiness is tied to this as happiness tends to increase social interaction and vice versa.

You will get over it. Not by any magic wave of a wand, but eventually you will just start to get really sick of feeling depressed, and you'll start getting bored of the bubble because you'll gradually realise that there isn't really a lot to do in there that's fun. But this is really common. If you've ever wondered why some humans like to create drama where there needn't be any, and why most young people on these forums have very little faith in humanity and tend to think that the world is going up shit creek without a paddle despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, well, now you know. They are protecting their 'things-are-crappy bubble' because it's their comfort zone. Make sense?

 

[smokeybearsb]

*snip*

Yeah. It does. Right now that seems like the most solid answer, although when I read it I thought some parts of it may not have been true.

 

[BonsaiK]

*snip*

Yeah. It does. Right now that seems like the most solid answer, although when I read it I thought some parts of it may not have been true.

There might be other factors I'm not considering. After all it's not like I know everything about you and what you're dealing with on a day to day level. Generally though, teenagers and depression go together because teeangedom is a sucky time where you have to deal with all sorts of crap. Some teenagers cope better than others. If you experience depression enough, and become very familiar with it, it can become a bit like a security blanket after a while that actually can help you deal with the transition. This situation won't last forever though - you're self-aware so that means you'll pull yourself out of it once it starts getting old.

 

[anthony87]

Hey everyone I just wanted to throw this out there-whenever I get depressed I seem to be happier than when I'm not... basically, I like being depressed and feeling bad. It seems to be brought on by fighting with my parents, procrastinating and trying to do homework at the last minute, or being left out of stuff. I know these are really typical reasons why people would become depressed, I just want to figure out why I like being depressed more than being happy. When I'm in a great mood, outspoken and stuff, I'll bump back into reality and realize that I want to be depressed. It seems really odd.

This summer I remember I had it really bad the days following when I found out my friend was moving out of the country, and it's been coming back every few weeks or so. Not too long ago I was in my study hall class and I didn't want to talk to anyone or have any interaction at all really. I remember specifically censoring my actions so I wouldn't make eye contact with one of my good friends so he wouldn't talk to me. Whenever I get depressed I like to stay that way and later that day I reluctantly started to feel better.

Does anyone know anything about it or have any thoughts?

Maybe you like the drama in your life. I'm the same, I find that a bit of drama makes everything more interesting.