Do I deserve to be spat on for saying this to a gay person?

[Lord Krunk]

Would your friend have done the same for a heterosexual couple?

Very true. Is there a double standard involved?

I don't think your friend should have been spat on, but I also don't think he should have stopped them. You're there to watch a movie. A classic scene of romance. Don't get into anyone's business, especially when said business is sexual in nature.

 

[HolyMoogle]

"We don't like gays going all "look at me, I'm so gay!"
THIS, this is why homophobia still exists. If they would just shut up and act like normal civilized people, homophobia probably would be gone now. But NO, they must tell every single soul that they are something special if they're gay. People who act like that shame homosexuals in general.

I'll repeat what I said to another who made similar sentiments - do you actually know any gay people, or are you just going on what cable news tells you, or random poor quality sitcoms?

Perhaps THIS is why homophobia exists - sheltered little souls who really don't know anything about a particular type of person decide they don't like what they see on TV and start to spew bile about how everybody should (if they cannot actually BE straight, white, Christian etc) pretend to be straight, white, Christian etc. Every time you say you find a particular girl attractive or say something else which makes a point of you being heterosexual, are the PC police jumping through the windows to arrest you? I doubt it.

 

[flyinninja]

while I believe your friend was right to ask them to stop, and did not deserve to get spat on, I have a feeling that he probably wouldn't have asked a heterosexual couple to stop, but that's just based on how me and my friends act.

 

[AcacianLeaves]

Ask yourself this: would your friend have said anything if it was a heterosexual couple making out? If the answer is no, then your friend was wrong. That being said, he should've punched the guy in the teeth for spitting him in the face. There's no excuse for that kind of insane overreaction.

People make out at movies, it happens. If its distracting you (noisy lips, moaning, whatever) then they're being assholes and you should either ask them to stop or talk to one of the employees.

If the only reason its distracting is because you have a problem with two guys kissing, then the problem is on your end. I'm sorry but that's the definition of homophobia. You are afraid of the fact that they are gay, and expressing themselves in the way any other couple would.

 

[rekabdarb]

in the situation no, but that's only from your perspective. Although you should be pimp slapped for saying slags us right back (cause honestly... that sounds like gay sex).


But making out in public is............. frowned upon by me, a kiss if fine sure. Although the movie theater is definitely not the place to go at it, unless it's a XxX theater and then why woul...wait a minute. Is this the gay friend you were talking about...? i think you need to talk about your friend about his sexuality. But now that i don't have any other strange thoughts, your a homophobe sorry to say. You [/cough your friend] shouldn't have to justify saying "stop making out in front of me, i'm trying to watch a movie, here's 10 [insert money of your region] and go to your car and do it there." The whole "I HAVE A GAY FRIEND THING, SO I'M ACCEPTING" is not needed. Because lets be honest you accepted him "before" he was gay, nothing has changed.

*snip*

"We don't like gays going all "look at me, I'm so gay!"
THIS, this is why homophobia still exists. If they would just shut up and act like normal civilized people, homophobia probably would be gone now. But NO, they must tell every single soul that they are something special if they're gay. People who act like that shame homosexuals in general.

and i don't know about you, but i know ZERO gay people who run around yelling I'M HERE AND I'M QUEER SO DEAL WITH IT! And i live 1 hour away from "the gay capitol of the world, San Francisco". Homophobia is still alive because people ignat.

 

[AdmiralMemo]

I suppose, if something really bothers you and there is the option of moving, it can be better to just avoid the confrontation. Then again, I know that it takes an annoying amount of effort to move from one seat to another when there is both popcorn, bag, jacket and drink to move along with you.

Here's my idea. They should have gone with the option to move, but make such a big deal out of it and make such a disturbance that they are annoying and hopefully cause the couple to complain to them about it. Once the couple did, they'd come right back with, "Well, the reason we're moving is that you're bothering us with all of your kissy-face up there. Quit that and we'll stop disturbing you."

 

[AcacianLeaves]

"We don't like gays going all "look at me, I'm so gay!"
THIS, this is why homophobia still exists. If they would just shut up and act like normal civilized people, homophobia probably would be gone now. But NO, they must tell every single soul that they are something special if they're gay. People who act like that shame homosexuals in general.

Let me guess, you've seen one episode of Will and Grace and now you know that gay people don't act 'normal'.

By the way, holding hands in public is letting people know that you're gay. Kissing your significant other lets people know that you're gay. Behaving in a slightly feminine manner often lets people know that you're gay. Is there some kind of societal norm for how 'gay' gay people are allowed to act? Are you suggesting they hide their homosexuality from straight society because the fact that they are gay makes some people uncomfortable?

If you had to hide who you loved because you were afraid someone would have this attitude, how would you feel? If you had to pretend to be something you're not because who you are makes others uncomfortable, how would you feel?

 

[Phoenix09215]

No wonder the newspapers have turned it into a hate crime! Being that its in good Catholic Ireland But the Guy was a douche, your friend had every right to tell them to stop! But I agree with the kissing thing, it cfeeps me out too :S

I have nothing against gays... but I gotta say that I hate people who are very camp -.-

 

[captaincabbage]

It doesn't matter if they were gay or not, he was completely justified to ask them to stop if he was wanting to watch a movie and that other guy was way outta line for spitting in his face. That's fuckin' bullshit.

 

[The Stonker]

Well I doubt that your friend said "Lads would you please stop kissing we're trying to watch the movie" in a nice tone because people tend to twist things that happend to them so it makes them look good.

Now I do think that it was quite rude of the man to spit on him because they had no right to do so.
But I still feel that it was quite wrong to start a brawl because that particular situation could have been solved by being civilized and polite and public kissing doesn't offend me I would have probably just watched them if the movie was boring, because lets face it I'm a sucker for love. And I'm quite bi.

 

[Rafe]

Now that makes me angry, your friend did the right thing.

 

[Ranooth]

Wait wait, they got bored half way thorugh Inception?! What is wrong with them?!

On a more serious note: they were in the wrong, they could've easily acted like grown ups and discussed the problem with your friend, instead they degraded themselves.

 

[Jaime_Wolf]

Well, our gay friend says stuff like that all the time, especially if the male actor in question is considered to be an icon of manliness ("I'd let King Leonidas impale me with his spear all night long." "Aww, dude, WTF? I'm going to be stuck with that image now."), and I've never minded that. It's because it serves a purpose: it's meant to be funny, and usually it is.

What I meant by people going "look at me, I'm so gay!" is people who build their entire personality -- their purpose in life -- around a cliché stereotype they gleaned from Ugly Betty and Project Runway. They're just drones, built in the image of a media-driven cultural fad, who feel they need to be more obnoxious than everyone else, just to stand out.

I'm fine with gays like my friend, who are cool people that don't take themselves too seriously. He's proud to be gay, and if anyone attacked him for it, I'd be right there by his side. But I can't help but find the whole subculture to be a little too much. (That "I'm the only gay in the village" sketch by Little Britain really nails down what I'm talking about)

"I'm fine with black guys like my friend, who are cool people that don't take themselves too seriously. He's proud to be black, and if anyone attacked him for it, I'd be right there by his side. But I can't help but feel the whole subculture to be a little too much."
"I'm fine with women like my friend, who are cool people that don't take themselves too seriously. She's proud to be female, and if anyone attacked her for it, I'd be right there by his side. But I can't help but feel the whole subculture to be a little too much."
"I'm fine with Jewish people like my friend, who are cool people that don't take themselves too seriously. He's proud to be Jewish, and if anyone attacked him for it, I'd be right there by his side. But I can't help but feel the whole subculture to be a little too much."

Get the picture?

You only think that it's some "annoying subculture" and that everyone else should act more "normal" because you have some mistaken notion that you AREN'T part of some annoying subculture. You are, you just don't see it because you're part of the most popular one.

As for freedom of expression, there are a few problems there. Freedom of expression protects you from GOVERNMENTS, not the people you offend. Moreover, you have a right to voice your objections (though not ALL speech is protected in most countries), but you do not have a right to be listened to. The fact that you will not be punished by the government for saying something doesn't mean it's a decent thing to say.

I would have agreed with you that it was rude of them to do that during the film, but the fact that you WOULDN'T have bothered a heterosexual couple means that it WAS homophobic (your comment on the word "homophobic" is linguistically naive, that isn't how word meaning works and is another instance of a mistake perpetuated by linguistically naive English teachers who insist that affixes have defined meanings independent of the words in which they appear).

To boil it down for you, your friend shouldn't have been spat on because there was no way for the guy to know whether you were just unhappy with the PDA or if it was a gay thing specifically. As it turns out, it was a gay thing specifically, so yes, your friend sort of did deserve it.

To put it in even simpler terms, I don't particularly enjoy watching straight people make out, yet somehow I've managed to get through life without insulting anyone or getting into any fights over it. Imagine that.

 

[Firia]

"We don't like gays going all "look at me, I'm so gay!"
THIS, this is why homophobia still exists. If they would just shut up and act like normal civilized people, homophobia probably would be gone now. But NO, they must tell every single soul that they are something special if they're gay. People who act like that shame homosexuals in general.

I... am beyond words. You cannot imagine how insensitive and insulting the above statement was. Normal? Civilized? You're speaking of the LGBT community as it they were crazies and savages.

I'd like to share something about Gay Pride; it exists because we live in an society that believes we've surpassed all discrimination, and remains ignorant of the vastness of legalized discrimination against the LBGT community. The LGBT community has been through a history of hate, and it is the very ACT of it's pride, and love for one another that it has clawed to this moment in time! It's so each gay person can be supportive of one another, and remember that they are something that's not to be ashamed of. They can be proud of being gay, bi, lesbian, transgender, poly, whatever! This pride has gotten into the culture, and powers the movement for equality in the political side of things.

These homosexuals, as I imagine you spitting the word more than saying it, are not trying to breed homophobia by insulting your delicate sensibilities. Heavy set muffin tops repel me, and cause my stomach to turn. I do nothing more than avert my eyes. Guys that insult my womanhood in online games boil my blood; but I do not hate online male gamers. However... hateful forum-going insensitive posts about those crazy savages churning out homophobia like butter will give me cause to act.

I would ask that before you posting these insensitive things that you educate yourself on the finer points of the LGBT community.

 

[Cabisco]

I'd react the same to a hetrosexual couple, it's distracting and you people always seem to make stupidly loud sounds with your lips... I hope I'm not as loud when I do occasionally kiss people.

The guy who spat was a jerk and saw homophobia where their was none, though their is a case to be made that chances are he's used to homophobia so it's his natural reaction. If you spend most of your time being shouted at/abused for being gay chances are you'll see homophobia everywhere.

 

[Sneaky llama]

That video was hilarious it always astounds me when people post video's which relate to the topic under discussion. thanks for making me laugh.

 

[Broken Boy]

That could have gone down better but no I cant see why he was spat on.