Do I deserve to be spat on for saying this to a gay person?

[cmhowell1990]

I'm curious if the same were to happen with a lesbian couple. I would still be distracted, and not in the "oh I like to see girls kiss" way either. People kissing in public is extremely obnoxious in my opinion. I mean, PDA is fine and all, but in more subtle ways is, personally, better.

 

[Oh That Dude]

"We don't like gays going all "look at me, I'm so gay!"
THIS, this is why homophobia still exists. If they would just shut up and act like normal civilized people, homophobia probably would be gone now. But NO, they must tell every single soul that they are something special if they're gay. People who act like that shame homosexuals in general.

Okay, few things: One, there is no one reason for homophobia. Two, what's wrong with acting "gay" or camp as is the correct term. Three, a very small group of people use their sexuality as their only defining characteristic; which is sad but also very much not limited to homosexuality. Three, homophobia will almost certainly never go away completely, four it's not uncivilized to be gay or to "act gay" or to tell people you're gay. And five, I'm not ashamed because of the fact that you don't think someone who is acting unlike your definition of "a normal civilized person" is okay.

 

[Fire Daemon]

One of them might have been female and your friend insulted her by calling her 'lads'.

Although I don't understand how two men kissing freaks you or your friends out, for me it isn't attractive but isn't extremely repulsive either. It's about the same as seeing two heterosexual strangers kiss, which is nothing either way for me. I don't care is the jist of my feelings.

I've got to wonder how in a dark cinema with moving pictures up on the wall your friend even noticed those guys making out, why would he even draw attention to it as it can easily be ignored. You also have to consider that your friend is obviously going to have some bias about what occured. Actually, I find it hard to believe that someone would just flat out spit on another without being harased and insulted, I have a feeling that the friend played a bigger part than what he claims.

 

[James Joseph Emerald]

Get the picture?

I'm sorry, I should have qualified 'subculture' with 'militant, exaggerated subculture'. I don't mind gays existing, and expressing themselves, and being unified, and all that (i.e. having a subculture). I just don't like people being aggressive or obnoxious about it.

I'm Irish. We have a St. Patrick's day parade, and we have our idiosyncrasies, and we're a proud people (who paradoxically love to ***** and moan about our own country). But anyone who jumps around the place saying "Right lads, I'm so Irish! Look at me! I'm completely pissed! Because I'm Irish! I get drunk when it's not appropriate! Woooo! Let's beat up some Brits!", you have permission to punch in the face. You get what I mean?

"We don't like gays going all "look at me, I'm so gay!"

Two, what's wrong with acting "gay" or camp as is the correct term.

So, there's nothing inherently wrong with it. I just don't like it. And I think I have the right to not like campness without being labelled anything. Just like you should have the right to dislike people who get genuinely pissy if you confuse a 4-leaf clover with a shamrock (i.e. people who take their Irish pride too seriously) without being labelled... whatever you label someone who hates Irish people (there isn't really a word for it, because the people who made the language assumed everyone hated us =P)

 

[tobytobetobe]

homos your right but homophobia only contains homo meaning man included into homos which is why homophobia is actually the fear of gays rather than the hatred

 

[James Joseph Emerald]

homos your right but homophobia only contains homo meaning man included into homos which is why homophobia is actually the fear of gays rather than the hatred

The term 'homophobia' is a newly invented term combining 'homosexual' and 'phobia', it doesn't come from Latin. Not to mention that 'homosexual' has nothing to do with 'homo'. If that were true, all straight women would be 'homosexual', and all of the other uses of homo- as a prefix (homogenous [everything being the same], homozygous [two of the same gene on a chromosomal pair], etc.) would make absolutely no sense. Not to mention that if it did mean man, 'homophobia' would mean 'fear of men'.

The reason I dislike it as a word, is that (at least as far as I know), 'homo' is a rather derogatory slang term for a gay person. So taking that and putting 'phobia' on the end is not only a bit grammatically cheeky (since it's a pre-existing prefix), but also a bit homophobic in itself. It's just not a very suitable word, is all.

 

[tobytobetobe]

touche

 

[Googooguru]

Who the hell spits on another person.. ???? Tell someone to mind there own fecking business or something but if someone spits on me im knocking that fucker out..seriously i dont care who they are. i would knock out a Nun for spitting on me

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

Getting back on track to the topic at hand here gents....

They had no right to retaliate in that manner, gay, bi, lesbian w/e. Your friend was being courteous and politely asked them to stop, he didn't say "fuck off poof, we're watching a man's movie blah blah blah".

Hell, I'd knock 'em up for a charge over that. (and legally you CAN in fact charge them for that)

 

[Elburzito]

"We don't like gays going all "look at me, I'm so gay!"
THIS, this is why homophobia still exists. If they would just shut up and act like normal civilized people, homophobia probably would be gone now. But NO, they must tell every single soul that they are something special if they're gay. People who act like that shame homosexuals in general.

Okay, few things: One, there is no one reason for homophobia. Two, what's wrong with acting "gay" or camp as is the correct term. Three, a very small group of people use their sexuality as their only defining characteristic; which is sad but also very much not limited to homosexuality. Three, homophobia will almost certainly never go away completely, four it's not uncivilized to be gay or to "act gay" or to tell people you're gay. And five, I'm not ashamed because of the fact that you don't think someone who is acting unlike your definition of "a normal civilized person" is okay.

Okay, maybe I used the wrong words. You can be Gay, Straight or Bisexual, but making out in a theater is just plain rude and uncivilized. The same applies if you go around going "look at me, I'm so Straight!". Homosexuals seem to be the most vulnerable to abuse, so acting like this in a public place is more likely going to give them a bad rep. They can show their love freely, like anyone else, but acting like this is plain rude.

 

[Elburzito]

"We don't like gays going all "look at me, I'm so gay!"
THIS, this is why homophobia still exists. If they would just shut up and act like normal civilized people, homophobia probably would be gone now. But NO, they must tell every single soul that they are something special if they're gay. People who act like that shame homosexuals in general.

I'll repeat what I said to another who made similar sentiments - do you actually know any gay people, or are you just going on what cable news tells you, or random poor quality sitcoms?

Perhaps THIS is why homophobia exists - sheltered little souls who really don't know anything about a particular type of person decide they don't like what they see on TV and start to spew bile about how everybody should (if they cannot actually BE straight, white, Christian etc) pretend to be straight, white, Christian etc. Every time you say you find a particular girl attractive or say something else which makes a point of you being heterosexual, are the PC police jumping through the windows to arrest you? I doubt it.

Okay, maybe I used the wrong words. You can be Gay, Straight or Bisexual, but making out in a theater is just plain rude and uncivilized. The same applies if you go around going "look at me, I'm so Straight!". Homosexuals seem to be the most vulnerable to abuse, so acting like this in a public place is more likely going to give them a bad rep. They can show their love freely, like anyone else, but acting like this is plain rude.

 

[Elburzito]

"We don't like gays going all "look at me, I'm so gay!"
THIS, this is why homophobia still exists. If they would just shut up and act like normal civilized people, homophobia probably would be gone now. But NO, they must tell every single soul that they are something special if they're gay. People who act like that shame homosexuals in general.

I... am beyond words. You cannot imagine how insensitive and insulting the above statement was. Normal? Civilized? You're speaking of the LGBT community as it they were crazies and savages.

I'd like to share something about Gay Pride; it exists because we live in an society that believes we've surpassed all discrimination, and remains ignorant of the vastness of legalized discrimination against the LBGT community. The LGBT community has been through a history of hate, and it is the very ACT of it's pride, and love for one another that it has clawed to this moment in time! It's so each gay person can be supportive of one another, and remember that they are something that's not to be ashamed of. They can be proud of being gay, bi, lesbian, transgender, poly, whatever! This pride has gotten into the culture, and powers the movement for equality in the political side of things.

These homosexuals, as I imagine you spitting the word more than saying it, are not trying to breed homophobia by insulting your delicate sensibilities. Heavy set muffin tops repel me, and cause my stomach to turn. I do nothing more than avert my eyes. Guys that insult my womanhood in online games boil my blood; but I do not hate online male gamers. However... hateful forum-going insensitive posts about those crazy savages churning out homophobia like butter will give me cause to act.

I would ask that before you posting these insensitive things that you educate yourself on the finer points of the LGBT community.

Okay, maybe I used the wrong words. You can be Gay, Straight or Bisexual, but making out in a theater is just plain rude and uncivilized. The same applies if you go around going "look at me, I'm so Straight!". Homosexuals seem to be the most vulnerable to abuse, so acting like this in a public place is more likely going to give them a bad rep. They can show their love freely, like anyone else, but acting like this is plain rude.

 

[otterhead]

I wrote the title in first person so it'd be more immediate and attention-grabbing, but this actually happened to a friend of mine (yeah right, I'm sure you're thinking). Though it could hypothetically happen to me.

My friend and I have discussed how we feel about homosexuality, and we generally agreed that we accept it as long as it's not annoying or obnoxious, just like everything else. We don't like gays going all "look at me, I'm so gay!" just as we dislike emos going "look at me, I'm all deep and dark!" or political extremists or whatever. We're both friends with a gay guy, and we treat him the same as anyone else (I mean, we "tease" him about it, but he doesn't mind, and he slags us right back. Everyone's got something to rip on).

But one thing was that it always creeped me out to see guys kiss. I don't think I'm really alone on this. It's like the equivalent of watching someone pick their nose. It's just... eew. It's not something I have any control over, it just disturbs me on a fundamental level. People have been throwing slogans around like "homosexuality isn't a choice, but homophobia is", and I'd have to say that if being a bit disgusted by men kissing is homophobic, then it really isn't a choice. If I had a choice, I wouldn't choose to be disgusted by anything. (On a side note, I always hated the word "homophobe". 'Homos' means 'one and the same', so 'homophobia' would technically mean 'a pathological fear of things staying the same')

Anyway, here's the thing. Recently my friend and his friend went to see Inception (I think), and the cinema was fairly empty, except for these two other guys in front of them. And halfway through the film these two other guys got bored, for whatever reason, and started making out. And my friend was distracted, and grossed out, and couldn't enjoy the film properly. So, never being one to suffer in silence, he gently (according to him) said something alone the lines of "here lads, would you give it a rest? We're trying to watch a movie". And then, one of the guys turned and spat directly into my friend's face.

This apparently resulted in a big brawl (as all things in Ireland inevitably do), and everyone was ejected from the cinema. The local newspaper even caught wind of it, spinning the whole thing to sound like some sort of hate crime riot.


So, what do you think? Was my friend being intolerant, and deserved what he got? Were the homosexual couple being rude, and should've stopped when asked? Did they overreact? Do you think gays in general seem to be more intolerant of people expressing their feelings about homosexuality than heterosexuals are? Or do you think the homosexual community should take a zero tolerance policy to any form of discrimination?

I'm not really sure what to believe.

It's like the equivalent of watching someone pick their nose. - *No it isn't.* Please do not compare an expression of my sexuality to something minging like nose picking or breaking wind etc.

As for one of them spitting on your mate, that is totally out of order. Nothing should warrant that response, it turns my stomach. A girl and a guy, or 2 girls or 2 guys kissing in the cinema would probably make me feel uncomfortable, though I doubt I would have said anything. As for being bored during Inception, that's a shame. I'm looking forward to that film and it looks fascinating.

 

[DominicxD]

Well he did ask them nicely.

Why people can't just watch the fucking movie is beyond me.

 

[StANDY1338]

why not just say. Guys can you tone it down I'm still in the closet and your going to end up outing me.

Done =)

 

[Duskwaith]

(as all things in Ireland inevitably do)

I love our country.

I think that there sexuality was being used as justification to do what ever they want, its a major problem when it comes to different skin pigments when someone of a different skin colour uses the race card in there favour against someone whos not of there skin colour such as a white person usually ending up with the other side walking away labelled racist.

Your friend had every right to ask them to stop. Its not like he used homophobic remarks and engaged in physical violence to stop them.

Blown way out of proportion especially spitting on someone, just shows you the calibre of said people involved

 

[Optimystic]

Who the hell sits down front to make out? I take my girl to the top row, like a courteous couple.

Wisdom right here, folks.

Also, how in the hell could they get bored during Inception?

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

Hell no. I hope your friend kicked his fucking ass. Some people need to learn their place, this guy clearly did too. Spitting, pfft, what an asshole. He was completely out of line for spitting in your friends face over something so trivial as that. Straight couples making out is a disturbance too, you're friend isn't a homophobe at all.