Do I deserve to be spat on for saying this to a gay person?

[Daedalus1942]

I wrote the title in first person so it'd be more immediate and attention-grabbing, but this actually happened to a friend of mine (yeah right, I'm sure you're thinking). Though it could hypothetically happen to me.

My friend and I have discussed how we feel about homosexuality, and we generally agreed that we accept it as long as it's not annoying or obnoxious, just like everything else. We don't like gays going all "look at me, I'm so gay!" just as we dislike emos going "look at me, I'm all deep and dark!" or political extremists or whatever. We're both friends with a gay guy, and we treat him the same as anyone else (I mean, we "tease" him about it, but he doesn't mind, and he slags us right back. Everyone's got something to rip on).

But one thing was that it always creeped me out to see guys kiss. I don't think I'm really alone on this. It's like the equivalent of watching someone pick their nose. It's just... eew. It's not something I have any control over, it just disturbs me on a fundamental level. People have been throwing slogans around like "homosexuality isn't a choice, but homophobia is", and I'd have to say that if being a bit disgusted by men kissing is homophobic, then it really isn't a choice. If I had a choice, I wouldn't choose to be disgusted by anything. (On a side note, I always hated the word "homophobe". 'Homos' means 'one and the same', so 'homophobia' would technically mean 'a pathological fear of things staying the same')

Anyway, here's the thing. Recently my friend and his friend went to see Inception (I think), and the cinema was fairly empty, except for these two other guys in front of them. And halfway through the film these two other guys got bored, for whatever reason, and started making out. And my friend was distracted, and grossed out, and couldn't enjoy the film properly. So, never being one to suffer in silence, he gently (according to him) said something alone the lines of "here lads, would you give it a rest? We're trying to watch a movie". And then, one of the guys turned and spat directly into my friend's face.

This apparently resulted in a big brawl (as all things in Ireland inevitably do), and everyone was ejected from the cinema. The local newspaper even caught wind of it, spinning the whole thing to sound like some sort of hate crime riot.


So, what do you think? Was my friend being intolerant, and deserved what he got? Were the homosexual couple being rude, and should've stopped when asked? Did they overreact? Do you think gays in general seem to be more intolerant of people expressing their feelings about homosexuality than heterosexuals are? Or do you think the homosexual community should take a zero tolerance policy to any form of discrimination?

I'm not really sure what to believe.

If it was a heterosexual couple next to you going at it, would you ask them to give it a rest?
Do you enjoy seeing lesbians kiss? Is it tolerable to you? If so, you don't really have any means to justify your hatred of gays kissing. It's just the other side of the same issue really.
I have to say that the man who spat in your friend's face possibly overreacted a bit, but I still would like to find out had it been a heterosexual couple would it have bothered your friend (or you) as much?

 

[mindlessvulgarity]

So, never being one to suffer in silence, he gently (according to him) said something alone the lines of "here lads, would you give it a rest? We're trying to watch a movie".

I bet he didn't really say it like that, or had a certain tone to his voice which led to the spitting. It would have been obvious that a comment like that would lead to such a reaction. Your friend could have simply moved and avoided the confrontation in the first place.

Why should it be obvious that a comment like that would provoke such a reaction? It was a fairly harmless request worded in a harmless manner. The person who spat on him is an animal, regardless of their sexuality. You say that his friend should have moved to avoid the confrontation, well maybe the couple should have left the cinema if they weren't enjoying the film.....

 

[madhatterwriter]

Not sure what to believe? Here's my take Mr. James. I dunno what exactly your friend said, but if you're friend said an very offensive, discriminating word like "F$%%t, take your shit elsewhere," then yes, your friend is an intolerant ass and he was lucky just to be just spitted at. If your friend ask, "hey, please make out some where else because it is distracting," then the homosexual couple is at fault and deserved a good spanking.

I think you need to understand that everyone can be an ass, down from church-going people, homosexual people to even dwarf people. Assery is non-discrimintory and will appear in any group of people. That does not mean the entire community in which they are in are all like that. You make one big assumption that all homosexual people will go all commando if someone wronged them by saying it is discrimination/'hate crime'.

I also can not wrap my mind on why you and your friend are not angry at the newspaper for spinning this story as a
'hate crime'. Newspapers tend to slant things for the sole purpose of sensationalism and selling more newspaper.

Oh by the way, being irked by two gay men kissing is perfectly fine. Gay men or gay women also get irked when seeing straight people kiss. This does not mean that you can treat people like crap just because you have an innate and inexplainable feeling of dislike. I have a friend who hates ginger people with a passion and she does not know why but will treat them no different than any other people despite her feelings. That is what it means to be tolerate.

 

[ALuckyChance]

Kissing should be reserved for private occasions, not for everyone to see and comment on. If it's just a quick peck, sure, but snogging (Yay British terms!) in front of anybody is a tad bit much.

That guy was an idiot for spitting on your friends face, as he was apparently being perfectly polite. I've grown up on stereotypes however, so Ireland may well be a place full of unbridled rage against people who even make a simple suggestion. I haven't been there, so I wouldn't know.

 

[Chainhart]

Am I the only one who noticed that he said "something along the lines of" when he explained what his "friend" said to the gay couple? Meaning he did not say "here lads, would you give it a rest? We're trying to watch a movie", it's merely a sugar coating for what he really said, which may or may not have justified being spat upon.

Typically when someone says "something along the lines of", they mean the exact opposite, trying to be funny or ironic.

On a another point, why would you sit in directly behind someone (especially a couple) in a mostly empty theater? That in itself is kind of a dickish move. And if it really bothered you that much, why not sit somewhere else and ignore it?

NEWSFLASH: COUPLES GO TO MOVIE THEATERS TO SNOG, MORE INFO AT 11!

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

NEWSFLASH: COUPLES GO TO MOVIE THEATERS TO SNOG, MORE INFO AT 11!

Then couples should go elsewhere, since the majority of people don't go to theatres to snog, they go there to watch the fucking movie.

Look if it was out on the street or someplace like that, a couple could start fucking for all I care, I wouldn't mind in the slightest. I'd simply look away and mind my own business.

But in a theatre, people have to abide by the cramped conditions and endure the difficulties of these parameters. And in those conditions I wouldn't want some goddamned couple in front of me snoging through the entire film. IF they have an itch they need to scratch that doesn't involve keeping quiet and watching the screen, they might as well step outside and finish whatever they feel the need to do and be done with it...

 

[Drejer43]

but if it was two hot girls would you then stop it.
I know I wouldn't

 

[Chainhart]

Then couples should go elsewhere, since the majority of people don't go to theatres to snog, they go there to watch the fucking movie.

Look if it was out on the street or someplace like that, a couple could start fucking for all I care, I wouldn't mind in the slightest. I'd simply look away and mind my own business.

But in a theatre, people have to abide by the cramped conditions and endure the difficulties of these parameters. And in those conditions I wouldn't want some goddamned couple in front of me snoging through the entire film. IF they have an itch they need to scratch that doesn't involve keeping quiet and watching the screen, they might as well step outside and finish whatever they feel the need to do and be done with it...

Haha, wow. You're probably one of those people who gets mad about there being so many kids at Disneyland! First of all, the OP said that the theater was mostly empty. So they were NOT in "cramped conditions". And in a mostly empty theater, you yourself have many options as to where to sit, and if you choose to sit behind two people who are holding hands, cuddling, or kissing, don't be surprised when they start to make out when the lights go out! People do a lot worse in those dark theaters, so you should thank your god that snogging was all they were doing!

Word of advice. If you're bothered by some people kissing in a theater, MOVE. Sit in front of them so you can't see it. You'll find that most people will not bend over backwards to accommodate people they're never going to see again, so be proactive and fix the problem yourself, nonviolently.

 

[Chainhart]

NEWSFLASH: COUPLES GO TO MOVIE THEATERS TO SNOG

BREAKING NEWS: Most people go to the Cinema to watch a film.

Someone must not go on many dates. ;D

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

Haha, wow. You're probably one of those people who gets mad about there being so many kids at Disneyland!

That's a ridiculous presumption, due to the fact that Disneyland is a themepark aimed at kids primarily, thus it is more than reasonable to expect children to be there.

Movie theatres however aren't aimed at anyone in particular, and couples have no reasonable right to claim them as their personal love dens.

First of all, the OP said that the theater was mostly empty. So they were NOT in "cramped conditions". And in a mostly empty theater, you yourself have many option as to where to sit, and if you choose to sit behind two people who are holding hands, cuddling, or kissing, don't be surprised when they start to make out when the lights go out!

More ridiculous presumptions (should I assume an apperent theme to your posts?). Who says that the OP's friend decided to sit behind a couple that was cuddling or holding hands? Who says that the couple in question sat there first?

Also, just because the lights go out, where else is it okay to engage in activities like that? Speaking as a heterosexual male, I certainly don't feel the compulsion to sex a girl up (regardless of how physically attractive she is) if the lights go out while riding the subway, so why make the ridiculous presumption that it is okay in a movie theatre?

Critical thinking will get you a long way in life you know, rather than just swallow every single stupid custom, and tradition that you might have come across.

People do a lot worse in those dark theaters, so you should thank your god that snogging was all they were doing!

Funny, that you would resort to such a non-argument didn't surprise me in the slightest.

People murder eachother in certain places too, should I be thankful if someone that could murder me just settle for stealing my wallet and beating me up instead?

Word of advice. If you're bothered by some people kissing in a theater, MOVE. Sit in front of them so you can't see it. You'll find that most people will not bend over backwards to accommodate people they're never going to see again, so be proactive and fix the problem yourself, nonviolently.

The people whose inability to control their compulsive behaviour are the ones that should move. The last time i checked a movie ticket doesn't entitle you to a "free snogging session without interruptions", it entitles you to see the movie you've paid for to see. Thus, someone who doesn't do anything other than watching is the one who is in the right to ask any couple to behave themselves for the duration of the movie and certainly doesn't deserve to get spat at...

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

Someone must not go on many dates. ;D

Or perhaps someone is taking their dates to a lot more creative and romantic locations than a dirty and boringly typical cinema...

 

[CG NUTS]

i have a gay uncle and he is an aawesome guy but it also freaks me out when he is kissing an other dude but that's normal same as seeing your parents kiss

 

[TheTim]

i would send that guy to the damn hospital if he spit in my face.