1) Is it a bit sad that I don't know yet? >.> I mean, I have some clues, but I've never had the chance to....test the following theories, if you will. Rough sex, light masochism/submission, sex to music (classic rock, hard rock, certain kinds of metal), roleplaying, clothed sex and lesbianism.
2) Assuming the above theories are correct, the reasons are as follows (in respective order):
For the first two, you can blame my superiority complex. I'm smart, blindingly smart. I'm willful, I'm competent and I have been told since the day I was born that I was destined for great things. I watch/read too many shounen anime/manga and project the hero's successes onto myself. I believe myself to be innately superior to about 99% of the human population. I recognize this as a failing and feel
even better about myself for doing so. Therefore, being "forced" to "submit" to another human is....strange, abnormal to me, but in a good way. To a certain extent, it's the thrill of doing something that I think I shouldn't be.
The third and fourth follow from my training as a musician and actor. I never feel as alive as when listening to or making good music or playing a part to perfection. One of my dreams is to make love while at a live concert, just because good, loud music really gets my engine going.
The fifth I'm not really sure about. It may spring from my insecurity about my body or my acceptance of nudity as natural. In support of the first theory is the fact that I'm not all that attractive. I'd be considerably moreso if I dropped 20 pounds, but I just can't seem to work up the motivation (always been a problem for me, I'm inherently apathetic). The second theory, however, rings much truer in my ears (though, again, superiority complex), because nudity has never been intrinsically tied to sex for me. If a naked woman walked past me with no shame, I probably wouldn't even notice, and not just because I was distracted by my Gameboy.
The sixth....the sixth confuses me because there doesn't seem to be any psychological basis for it, but it's been part of my psychological profile since before I can remember. On the one hand, I am a straight male and have been told by our society that, at the risk of trapping someone, Girl on Girl is Hot [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GirlOnGirlIsHot]. But I've found the idea of female-female relationships inherently superior to male-female since about 3rd grade. I understand (and did then) the biological imperative to reproduce, but socially, male-female and male-male relationships seem inherently less stable than female-female relationships, regardless of the level of intimacy. It confused me then and still does why any woman, given the opportunity to engage in a meaningful relationship with either a man or a woman would choose the man over the woman, when we are crass, boorish and closed off emotionally. I understand now that at least part of this is my inherent heterosexual bias, but I can't help but think that not all of it is because I had these convictions when I was still 4 or 5 years from puberty, and thus 4 or 5 years from truly developing a sexual identity.
In any case, yeah, lesbians, real lesbians who love each other and make love to each other interest me far too much for to simply be social conditioning.
zombiejoe said:
Wait...rule 34 Tali...TO DEVIANT ART!
Dude....going after Tali is like going after your sister, what the hell.
