I was having a rare celebratory drink with my mates on the weekend and I desperately needed to piss but the bathroom inside the place was pretty much a clown car situation.
I went outside and I was twenty feet from anyone but I just couldn't squeeze anything out because I could hear people having a conversation nearby. So I just stood there silently for quite some time, penis in hand, trying my hardest not to shout and curse at my own genitals. I then rejoined the group and tried to act like I'd just had a great piss and every fiber of my body wasn't screaming at me.
Standing at a urinal, nobody around? Fine.
A truck driver in tight little denim cut-offs walks in and stands right next to you? If you're me, penis in hand again, you just stand there unable to think about anything other than the fact that you're not pissing and knowing that he's thinking the same thing.
^Happens far too often.
I went outside and I was twenty feet from anyone but I just couldn't squeeze anything out because I could hear people having a conversation nearby. So I just stood there silently for quite some time, penis in hand, trying my hardest not to shout and curse at my own genitals. I then rejoined the group and tried to act like I'd just had a great piss and every fiber of my body wasn't screaming at me.
Standing at a urinal, nobody around? Fine.
A truck driver in tight little denim cut-offs walks in and stands right next to you? If you're me, penis in hand again, you just stand there unable to think about anything other than the fact that you're not pissing and knowing that he's thinking the same thing.
^Happens far too often.