Do you like feeling safe with someone.?

[Da Chi]

I just had a conversation where a girl expressed that she liked feeling safe around her boyfriend. We were talking about physical attributes and how she likes someone tall to be a protector.

Now on the other hand, I've never once found myself thinking I'm safer with a girl around. Women rarely if ever play the protective role in my life aside from my mother and one other girl(Who stopped her dad from beating me up in a bar by clinging to me.)

So I want everyone to comment. Girls do you ever play the protective role? Guys do you like protective women.
Guys, have you ever been forced to protect someone you love.

Just comment, I'd love to hear your points.

 

[Distazo]

I don't know if I feel more physically protected persay, but emotional protection is always a big deal. I would hope that any girlfriend I have would feel safer with me around. There is something very romantic to me to be in a protector role.

 

[Kpt._Rob]

I'm a guy, but hell yes I like feeling safe with whoever I'm with. Maybe that's not in a literal physical sense, but on a spiritual level, can you really say that you've never felt safer when you're really close to someone? When I really love someone, the trust that I feel around them lets me take down a lot more of my walls than I usually would. I feel safe then, and I really like that. And, if I had a girl who was the sort to physically protect me, I think I'd like that too. Not that I feel like I need all that much protection, but if you've got someone who's willing to protect you, then it really speaks to how they feel about you.

 

[Judgement101]

I feel safe here because everyone is like minded.

 

[Serenegoose]

I've played the protector to partners several times, and when I was younger, I had to protect my brother a few times too. Ultimately that's just circumstance though. I protect anybody who needs it. Friends, strangers, I don't care. And I'm a woman, just for the tally, as it were.

 

[DefunctTheory]

I never feel safe, never expect to feel safe again, and have never felt safety bestowed upon me by another individual.

But that's post-PTSD. Beforehand, I always felt safe, because I trusted myself to handle whatever I could, and whatever else happens will happen. A woman has never made me feel any different about that.

 

[xanith02100]

I'm a fairly protective male, but not in an overly aggressive way. I know my girlfriend is attractive, so whenever we're out in public I'm keeping an eye out on the crowds and anyone I catch eying her up and down I send a menacing glare at. More than that, I've never had to have any sort of physical altercation to protect her, nor do I ever wish for it to need to come to that. But if the need does arise I will of course protect who I love.

 

[Something Amyss]

I've personally never had a "protective" gf who didn't cross the line into "psychotic."

That makes me apprehensive.

 

[Da Chi]

I've played the protector to partners several times, and when I was younger, I had to protect my brother a few times too. Ultimately that's just circumstance though. I protect anybody who needs it. Friends, strangers, I don't care. And I'm a woman, just for the tally, as it were.

Do go on. I can understand the brother deal. My sister defended me when I was young, now I defend her when a guy breaks her heart. Or when a boss screws her over and I need to step in and throw some weight.
The role kinda switched as I became older and I ended up physically stronger than her (and don't let her hear this) emotionally more grounded as well. Have you noticed that sort of thing with your brother?

 

[FamoFunk]

I love feeling protected by my other half, because he is taller/bigger/male.

I could never protect a Male, it seems odd and "un natural"

 

[Da Chi]

I never feel safe, never expect to feel safe again, and have never felt safety bestowed upon me by another individual.

But that's post-PTSD. Beforehand, I always felt safe, because I trusted myself to handle whatever I could, and whatever else happens will happen. A woman has never made me feel any different about that.

What is PTSD?

 

[Da Chi]

I love feeling protected by my other half, because he is taller/bigger/male.

I could never protect a Male, it seems odd and "un natural"

That seems a little old fashioned don't you think? Could you think of a situation where you would have to defend the person you love. Emotionally, physically, spiritually? Where they were unable to for whatever reason, would you do it?

 

[Julianking93]

I personally like the mutual protection that goes with equal relationships like that.

I like feeling safe with her but I also like being able to protect her as well.....just gotta find someone to share that feeling with >>

 

[Booze Zombie]

I feel protected, as a person, when I know someone doesn't want to kill me.
That's about it... I'm fine with people not wanting to kill me.

But to get back to the real point, I've never been especially protective of anyone because I've never had to be, it's relatively safe around here and my family are smart enough to get away from most trouble.

 

[Da Chi]

I don't know if I feel more physically protected persay, but emotional protection is always a big deal. I would hope that any girlfriend I have would feel safer with me around. There is something very romantic to me to be in a protector role.

Thats always something I've wondered. It seems like males are primarily the protector in most societies. Most societies are based around the male as the leader, and very few have histories of equal rights between the sexes. But I've never heard of a female lead society ever.
Do you think we are conditioned as men to be protectors?

 

[DefunctTheory]

What is PTSD?

Really?

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Basically: Bad shit happens. Brain breaks. Always expects bad, horrible things to happen.

Its more complicated than that, of sufficient for the purposes of this thread.

 

[Serenegoose]

Do go on. I can understand the brother deal. My sister defended me when I was young, now I defend her when a guy breaks her heart. Or when a boss screws her over and I need to step in and throw some weight.
The role kinda switched as I became older and I ended up physically stronger than her (and don't let her hear this) emotionally more grounded as well. Have you noticed that sort of thing with your brother?

Me and my brother live a few hundred miles apart at the moment, but I've offered him moral support whenever he's needed it. (infrequently) He's certainly a lot stronger than me now, but he's not the protecting type, and that means nothing to how I consider situations... For a long time I had to protect him in the manner that a parent would, because nobody else would. I jump in to protect people I know are stronger than me if I see that they're not the sort to emotionally stand up for themselves. I don't really consider the situation all that much at all. Sometimes, something just flips and I act. I'm not trying to make out that I'm super brave or anything, because that might imply that I think about it more than I do. My only problem is sometimes I can be taken off guard. I've had people I know abused in the street right next to me and I've just been so 'what the fuck?' that I've been effectively paralysed.

 

[Berethond]

I never feel safe, never expect to feel safe again, and have never felt safety bestowed upon me by another individual.

But that's post-PTSD. Beforehand, I always felt safe, because I trusted myself to handle whatever I could, and whatever else happens will happen. A woman has never made me feel any different about that.

What is PTSD?

Post-traumatic stress disorder. It's common in war veterans or disaster victims.

 

[FamoFunk]

I love feeling protected by my other half, because he is taller/bigger/male.

I could never protect a Male, it seems odd and "un natural"

That seems a little old fashioned don't you think? Could you think of a situation where you would have to defend the person you love. Emotionally, physically, spiritually? Where they were unable to for whatever reason, would you do it?

Of course! I would always defend/protect my partner for example emotionally/physically

What I guess I meant was my partner "the male" is the main protector in the relationship, I'm always the one emotionally falling onto him, needing him more etc.

Sorry I can't really explain it, but yes, I will always protect others, I guess what I ook for in someone is the fact they can protect me?

 

[she_never_was]

I like some of the points that people have been bringing up about different types of protection.

While I may feel 'protected' by a taller presence, I know my boyfriend feels 'protected' by how he can put trust in me.

He's 6'3 and I'm 6'. I've been teased and hassled all my life (just like everyone else in the world, lolol) about my height, and I've also assumed protective roles over my brothers (I'm the oldest, kinda comes with the job), my friends, and various other acquaintances. To me, it feels like a relief to just trust my boyfriend with that minor 'protection'. I'm generally the person my friends look up to, so being able to look up to my boyfriend may be a small thing, but something I feel protected by.

He, on the other hand, has major trust issues, so in return he feels 'protected' that I can keep him 'safe' and help him work out these issues he's had in the past.

Protection is not just in height, but is a large part of a relationship.

It sounds like I'm a teacher preaching condom use. Use protection.