Do you "owe" your parents grandchildren?

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

so what was I constantly yelling at the TV last night? "if the dried up old twat wants grand children she should fucking adopt them herself!" <-several times

Aaaah, but you don't get it...

They don't want to ACTUALLY raise kids all over again!

Being a grandparent is a great gig. You get to see the kids once or twice a week and spoil them rotten, and you don't have to deal with all the homework and tantrums and attitude and stuff! The actual parents do the childraising, and you just get to enjoy the kids!

But no, I don't feel any need to give my parents grandkids. No matter how much they want them. |

Captcha: Time will tell.
0_0 Creepy mind reading captcha is creepy.

 

[Yuno Gasai]

I feel absolutely no obligation.

This is helped somewhat by the fact I have three older siblings, all of which have multiple children themselves. (2, 2 and 3 respectively).

In addition to this, I've made it abundantly clear to my mother that it's highly unlikely I will ever have children. I'm much more interested in adopting a puppy.

 

[DkLnBr]

On a somewhat related note, it does slightly bother me that my mom seems to think that I will one day get married to some nice girl and have kids. But she's not pushing me to do anything, so whatever.

This sounds like my Mom (and Dad). They aren't pushing me to do anything, but they do expect me to get married with kids. They always seem to hint at the topic when they can. "DkLnBr! clean your room, you're wife wont like it being messy", "DkLnBr make dinner, your wife will love it if you know how to cook", etc. So just "subtle" hints towards it, but nothing really annoying, so i dont care.
But if they do become like those TV Moms that Vault101 was talking about then i dont know what i'd do... I can't say no to family, im an invertebrate.

 

[Toaster Hunter]

You don't owe children to anyone. Its a personal choice, one that you have to deal with yourself. Actually, parents expecting grandchildren is selfish on their part. Children are a massive, life altering and most importantly, irrevocable decision. Having children because someone else wants you to, is cruel and selfish to everyone involved.

 

[MasterOfHisOwnDomain]

Frankly, it sometimes seems as if society is still trying to turn women into baby factories, and I can't help but wonder why any of them put up with it.

Would agree with this. No-one ever mourns when a man doesn't have a child with someone; why are women considered unfulfilled if they don't fart out at least one brat during their life? There are lots of great, childless men throughout history: Leonardo da Vinci, Jesus, Van Gough - wasn't a crying shame that they didn't produce a child, was it?

 

[Right Hook]

do you feel any obligation to have grand children if thats what your parents want? perhaps from a "continuning the line" point of veiw? [/B]

HELL-fucking-NO. Your parents chose to have you, as soon as you became an adult and became responsible for yourself, all your choices became your own. To think you owe someone simply for birthing them is insane. It isn't like you signed some prenatal contract to birth them grandchildren when you reach the appropriate age. Even if you are the last of the line, who gives a shit? I guess it would be nice if you had kids, especially if your parents really wanted you to but it is still your life and ultimately your choice. I'm so opposed to to thinking you could have any obligation like this, it literally baffles me that anyone could think that way.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

I owe my parents a lot of things but grandchildren isn't one of them. And thankfully they are not so irrational as to feel arbitrarily entitled to them.

 

[Smiley Face]

I've never let my parents influence my decisions, I wouldn't start if they suddenly implied they wanted grandkids. That said, I'd have to be in a relationship first, so hah!

 

[The Lunatic]

Uh, kinda.

I mean, my parents already have a grandchild, eldest sister is married and my other sister is engaged.

However, I don't believe there are any male heirs to my family name. Feels kinda strange knowing that'll die with me, at least within my close bloodline that is. There may be other people called it, but, they're distant family, I suppose.

 

[Vault101]

[snip.

nice little analysis there..but no, my parents/upbringing were very close to Ideal (and my parents are rather laid back..more or less)

no, this is just somthing I persoanlly STRONGLY disagree with..is all....sure parents "meddle" in their kids lives (because they love them) but there is a line

I could think on nothing worse than my mother being a controlling ***** and trying to dictate what I do with my life....

as I said, I belive strongly that we should be free to do what we want in life..you dont "owe" your parents or ANYONE children, I dont care about that evolutionary bullshit people pull...weather or not it actually matters to anyone is purely subjective

weather I will or wont have children...is entirly up to me, its my life

do you feel any obligation to have grand children if thats what your parents want? perhaps from a "continuning the line" point of veiw? [/B]

HELL-fucking-NO. Your parents chose to have you, as soon as you became an adult and became responsible for yourself, all your choices became your own. To think you owe someone simply for birthing them is insane. It isn't like you signed some prenatal contract to birth them grandchildren when you reach the appropriate age. Even if you are the last of the line, who gives a shit? I guess it would be nice if you had kids, especially if your parents really wanted you to but it is still your life and ultimately your choice. I'm so opposed to to thinking you could have any obligation like this, it literally baffles me that anyone could think that way.

I agree completley..as I said (Im not sure if there is a proper term for it) but I dont belive we have a HUGE obligation...for alot of things...Im all for the rights of the induvidual

 

[Vault101]

-snip-

The great test for me would be this:

Me: "So mum, dad, you would like grand kids?"

Parents: "Yeah, that would be lovely."

Me: "Well me and *insert partner name* are thinking of adopting a child from Uganda."


Now their reaction would determine whether or not I would take pleasure in honouring their desire (and my own desire for children) with what they wish.

THAT is brilliant

I wonder who the selfish one is then...

 

[Johnny Impact]

Absolutely not. I do not owe my parents grandchildren. No matter how badly they want them, no matter how many times my mother tells me I "will change my mind someday." No, no, a thousand times no.

There is a list as long as my arm of things that would have to happen before I would ever consider having children. Regardless of any claim to the contrary, no one can be prepared for parenthood, but there are things I would have to do to become less unprepared. Little things like:

1) Need to believe in love;
2) Need to find a woman who can stand my company for extended periods (say, longer than ten seconds);
3) Need to stop my indescribable loathing for children;
4) Need to feel like the values I would attempt to instill in my offspring -- honesty, a decent day's work, etc -- would be assets in society, rather than liabilities;

and many, many more. As I have reached the age of 35 without checkmarking a single item on that list, it is safe to say I will never have kids.

Fine with me.

 

[Elate]

I. Hate. Children.

But, that aside, I would have to adopt or surrogate (see: homosex) and the first, I don't agree with personally, as bad as this may sound, I couldn't care for a child as much if it wasn't my own, and the second, I think it unfair on the surrogate mother.

BUT, lets pretend that the option was there, would I? HElL TO THE NO. I hate kids, SO MUCH, they're annoying, whiney, smell bad, stupid and they'll just grow up to hate you for 18 years, and take up money. Who in their right mind would want that... Besides, my parents have two other kids, I'm sure they can pop some out.

I feel no obligation to do so, it was kind of how I was raised, to "think for myself" and with my interests at heart, and not somebody elses, including my parents.

 

[triggrhappy94]

When and if I do I'm not letting them spend too much time with my mom, so what's the point.