Does anybody encounter this problem frequently?

[martin's a madman]

Escapist, I am someone who has a large vocabulary and I get bored when words are repeated. Today, I was having an argument with my Father and my Uncle. Without going into details I dislike having certain "guests" in our, (My Father, Mother, Sister, Brother, Grandmother and My own) home. Instead of saying "I don't like having them here, they make us change certain things we do" I said "Their whole presence is an imposition". My Father replied "Oh, talk big words now".

I thought to myself that the sentence was one of the most idiotic things I have ever heard. I don't criticise them for having a limited vocabulary but they imply that I speak this way to hold some sort of pretentious weapon over them.

On another note, I am not someone who is unable to openly admit that I was wrong if indeed I was incorrect. That being said, my Uncle brought up in the arguement "Oh, he just has to be right, everybody is wrong besides him". Beyond the rudeness of referring to me as if I were not there, it also is a defence that is frequently used when people are wrong. They say this as an attempt to discredit someone who actually is correct while having no actual point to bring up for themself.

Now my question to you is this, does anything like this happen to you often?

 

[cult-of-the-odd]

i dont really understand what your trying to ask that your father talks about you as if your not even there? (and that happens to me all the time)

 

[Legion]

It is not uncommon for people to try and discredit somebody they disagree with rather than prove them wrong, Politicians have been doing that for years and they get paid for it...

It happens to me in almost any debate/argument I get into (outside forums) and is immensly frustrating, especially when they deny it if you point it out.

 

[KarumaK]

No, I use big words all the time and unless they are positive I'm wrong, people tend to take what I say as fact.

 

[headshotcatcher]

So you are offended by the fact that you think you are superior and not everyone agrees?

Yes he was wrong for saying 'Oh talk big words now' but saying stuff like 'I don't criticise them for having a limited vocabulary' make you come across as an ass if I may say so.

And no it doesn't happen often to me, the only problem I have with my parents is that they treat me like a child..

 

[martin's a madman]

i dont really understand what your trying to ask that your father talks about you as if your not even there? (and that happens to me all the time)

Sorry, what I am trying to ask is that do people do like my father did and jump on you for using large words while trying to imply that you are a pretentious dick? Also, do people often accuse you of needing to always be right even though that is not the case?

 

[Proteus214]

It is not uncommon for people to try and discredit somebody they disagree with rather than prove them wrong, Politicians have been doing that for years and they get paid for it...

It happens to me in almost any debate/argument I get into (outside forums) and is immensly frustrating, especially when they deny it if you point it out.

Couldn't have said it better myself. Sometimes people just like to do dumb things like that to justify their own inferiority in an argument.

 

[martin's a madman]

So you are offended by the fact that you think you are superior and not everyone agrees?

Yes he was wrong for saying 'Oh talk big words now' but saying stuff like 'I don't criticise them for having a limited vocabulary' make you come across as an ass if I may say so.

And no it doesn't happen often to me, the only problem I have with my parents is that they treat me like a child..

No, I do not think I am superior I am saying that the way I speak is not something that should be attacked. The same way I do not attack them for speaking a certain way. Also, I am talking about people who use "You just always need to be right" as a defense for something. I personally am able to admit when I am wrong about something easily because it is logical. It seems almost as if they are trying to use that statement as a means to be right.

 

[MCDeltaT]

I use big words when i feel they are appropriate, however my family don't. Especially my little sister who at one point said and i quote "Big. Small. Same Diff"

 

[wilted_orchid]

I have an IQ of 170, and I know exactly what you mean. My father, who failed to stay in school to take his O-Levels, frequently tells me how stupid I am and how I shouldn't use big words because I'm not clever enough for them yet.

This is the same man who was unaware that uncapable wasn't a word, and I sure as hell don't pull him up on it.

Small people can't crush you, so they have to try and break you down piece by piece and I assume they choose vocabulary as a starting point because it is our primary method of communication and by stealing any confidence you have in your ability with it, they succeed in isolating you to a certain degree, thus conquering by division.

 

[traceur_]

All the fucking time. My sister is such a *****, she does exactly that.

 

[martin's a madman]

I have an IQ of 170, and I know exactly what you mean. My father, who failed to stay in school to take his O-Levels, frequently tells me how stupid I am and how I shouldn't use big words because I'm not clever enough for them yet.

This is the same man who was unaware that uncapable wasn't a word, and I sure as hell don't pull him up on it.

Small people can't crush you, so they have to try and break you down piece by piece and I assume they choose vocabulary as a starting point because it is our primary method of communication and by stealing any confidence you have in your ability with it, they succeed in isolating you to a certain degree, thus conquering by division.

Good point, it also frustrates me how modern culture seems to want to stifle the intelligent. I think it may all be something about human beings wanting to not feel inadequate but realising they cannot grow anymore. So they instead make others seem smaller. Everyone is guilty of it at some point, myself included. But now I actually take time to look at my faults the best I am able to, in the hopes of correcting them.

 

[fuckwit]

It happens and it frustrates me.

 

[headshotcatcher]

No, I do not think I am superior I am saying that the way I speak is not something that should be attacked. The same way I do not attack them for speaking a certain way. Also, I am talking about people who use "You just always need to be right" as a defense for something. I personally am able to admit when I am wrong about something easily because it is logical. It seems almost as if they are trying to use that statement as a means to be right.

Oh I see well people who do that are just stupid or baffled or just don't want to continue the fucking conversation (i.e my brother he's a big jackass when he thinks he's right and he will not stop talking about it even if he's TOTALLY wrong and if I have proof he just disregards it)

 

[Gaderael]

If you're purposely using large or uncommon words on purpose, then yeah, you can come off as being an ass. I had a friend who used to do this, and he actually apologized to me because of it. Sometimes simplicity is better.

Your dad sounded pretty stupid for making that remark, but, without knowing his tone when saying it, I cannot tell if that is actually the case. This is problem with one sided arguments. Same goes with your uncle. My family are constantly throwing barbs at one another, and if you just read what we said to one another, you'd think we were the next guests on Jerry Springer, or Cops. Perhaps you're just taking everything a little too seriously. But if you're right, stick up for yourself, the worst they can do is threaten to kick you out, which is not the end of the world.

Also, no one can come into your home and make you change how you act while they are there, just be yourself, and if they don't like it, tough for them, they know where the door is.

 

[Micklet]

Ok, Ill put it this way. Would you speak Latvian to someone from Lithuania if you could speak Lithuanian? There essentially the same language, and there would be no problem in interperatation or communication but it would be rude, yes? The same could be true here, I doubt that your parents or family are uneducated and cant speak english to your level, but they choose to speak in a more relaxed and comfortable way for them. Could you not meet them half way? I have friends that I will converse with in a different way to other friends, because it can be a little pretentious and you can give of an air of superiority. I dont think you intend to, but its how you can come across id imagine. As for their reactions to it, id say its just a defense against what must appear to be a superiority act. Just some thoughts....

 

[Amoreyna]

I have an IQ of 170, and I know exactly what you mean. My father, who failed to stay in school to take his O-Levels, frequently tells me how stupid I am and how I shouldn't use big words because I'm not clever enough for them yet.

This is the same man who was unaware that uncapable wasn't a word, and I sure as hell don't pull him up on it.

Small people can't crush you, so they have to try and break you down piece by piece and I assume they choose vocabulary as a starting point because it is our primary method of communication and by stealing any confidence you have in your ability with it, they succeed in isolating you to a certain degree, thus conquering by division.

Good point, it also frustrates me how modern culture seems to want to stifle the intelligent. I think it may all be something about human beings wanting to not feel inadequate but realising they cannot grow anymore. So they instead make others seem smaller. Everyone is guilty of it at some point, myself included. But now I actually take time to look at my faults the best I am able to, in the hopes of correcting them.

Personally I don't think that there is ever a time when someone is unable to learn or change. Instead, I beleive people hit a mental road block and believe it impossible to change. Two very different things and unfortunately our society seems to be supportingg the latter more and more today.

Also, another unfortunate occurence is that people feel threatened by what they do not understand. It is interesting how much we as humans detest feeling inadequate and will lash out repeatedly at anything we perceive as showing us as such. The best of us fall into this trap, none of us are immune to it.

Personally speaking, I just stopped allowing myself to be baited if someone wants to mock the supposedly 'big words' I use. That is the best advice I can give, madman. Don't allow yourself to feel superior or threatened, just ignore the comment and move on.

 

[Amoreyna]

Ok, Ill put it this way. Would you speak Latvian to someone from Lithuania if you could speak Lithuanian? There essentially the same language, and there would be no problem in interperatation or communication but it would be rude, yes? The same could be true here, I doubt that your parents or family are uneducated and cant speak english to your level, but they choose to speak in a more relaxed and comfortable way for them. Could you not meet them half way? I have friends that I will converse with in a different way to other friends, because it can be a little pretentious and you can give of an air of superiority. I dont think you intend to, but its how you can come across id imagine. As for their reactions to it, id say its just a defense against what must appear to be a superiority act. Just some thoughts....

Honestly, from my experience, you should just speak the way that comes naturally to you. I find that I feel as though I'm insulting those around me if I change the way I talk for them. And I find that just doing what comes naturally makes those I'm talking to comfortable enough to ask me what something means if I do happen to use a word they haven't or don't use normally. That in no way makes them stupid or myself superior, only that we have different ways of communicating and we can both learn from each other.

Just my point of view

 

[Micklet]

Honestly, from my experience, you should just speak the way that comes naturally to you. I find that I feel as though I'm insulting those around me if I change the way I talk for them. And I find that just doing what comes naturally makes those I'm talking to comfortable enough to ask me what something means if I do happen to use a word they haven't or don't use normally. That in no way makes them stupid or myself superior, only that we have different ways of communicating and we can both learn from each other.

Just my point of view

Ah no I get you, but I was just thinking for his familys sake to tone it down a tad around them? Im not saying be a different person, just to phrase things differently. Why use one word, when several other words instead.

 

[General Ken8]

no, not really