Don't say that's retarded, it hurts special kids feelings NOT ABOUT CALLING SPECIAL KIDS RETARDED

[Pink Gregory]

Really? I thought the term "mentally retarded" was medical, not just slang.

Not since the mid-eighties, at least. It is not a diagnostic term.

Factoid : The derogatory term 'Spaz' is a contraction of 'Spastic', which actually used to be the name of a UK based charity for Cerebral Palsy (citation needed there, don't know if it's just Cerebral Palsy). It became so common as a derogatory term that they changed it to 'Scope'.

 

[Doclector]

I actually fall under that term, and I use the word retard all the time, sometimes to refer to myself when I have actually done something "special".

People seem to understand a little more when I do that, and hell, I personally find the word "special" far more insulting. It's so fucking patronising.

 

[Korolev]

Society probably won't stop devaluing the less-intelligent any time soon. Because we praise the intelligent, we praise the gifted, we value the gifted and their works. Nobel Prize winners, leading Mathematicians, Scientists, Writers, great artists and musicians - all of those people are highly intelligent (well, maybe not what counts as a "great" artist or musician these days - I mean, Beethoven? Genius. Bach? Genius. Skrillex? Not so much of one). And we praise them for their intelligence. When not used sarcastically, the words "Genius" and "Clever" and "Smart" are universally accepted as compliments, and high compliments at that.

So it is not that surprising that we have exactly the opposite attitude towards those who are not "geniuses". "Stupid", "Idiot", "Dull", "Slow", "Moron", "Dumbass" - these are insults and everyone understands them to be insults. We don't value those who are not as intelligent. A genius can create a wonderful symphony or create technologies that make our lives easier, whereas someone who is intellectually impaired cannot do that. This has a powerful logic to it - if you are organizing a society or need to get a job done, who do you want to associate with? The intelligent scholar? Or the person who has difficulty counting past 10? As a society that depends on food and safety and technology, understandably (but not fairly) we look down on those who can't help us create technology, improve safety or grow food.

Let's be honest here - we look down on the less intelligent. It is not right to do that. It's not moral. It's not kind. It shouldn't be done - but it is. All our greatest achievements, all our greatest works, were created by the intelligent members of our society. In many ways, we DEFINE our species by our generally amazing intelligence. Homo Sapiens means "Wise Man" after all. Intelligence is so valued by our species that we incorporated into the name we gave ourselves.

I'm not sure if our species can truly ever treat the intellectually disabled with the respect they deserve. I admit that I myself have trouble doing it. I have to constantly remind myself not to view the less intelligent people as "less than human". It's a constant struggle, because I value the cognitive arts so highly. And when you value something so highly, it is very difficult to not associate negative feelings to its exact opposite. I praise the Nobel Prize Winning Scientist - they're the exemplars of our species in my opinion - and it's difficult to not then take that attitude and frown upon the poor person who really struggles with 10 + 10 = 20. I know I shouldn't look down on them. I know it's not their fault. I know they are still human and deserve rights.... but in the back of my mind... I can't help but shake the feeling that if a Nobel-Prize winning scientist's life was on the line, and a not-so-bright person's life was on the line as well, and I could only save one of them.... I... know which one I'm going to save each and every time.

And I hate myself for feeling that way.

 

[Spinozaad]

I've said it before, and I will say it again: words and symbols are not intrinsically offensive, and should thus not be "banned" from usage, either by law or through (societal) self-censorship. And, ironically, attempts at "neutralizing" the offensive word/symbol by substituting it for something else will always implicitly recall the offensive word/symbol. Using "the C-word" as a substitute for "****" still more or less equals using the latter.

Anyway, the point being that people ascribe meaning to words and symbols, but there's no hierarchy of meaning. To me, the phrase:

"Damn, that's one faggy *****" means something along the lines of "Whoa. That's one self-centered drama queen with horrible taste in everything."

Does that mean that I refer to homosexuals? To me it doesn't. Might it be offensive to them? Perhaps, but it isn't intrinsically offensive.

I'm drifting away from the discussion. I'll be off now, and take note of all the people who disagree with this in the morning...

 

[Scarim Coral]

I read something like this ages ago on someone podcast. Well it was more about not using the word retard as an insult anymore cos of the speical kids so they replace retard with special instead to be less offensive. This however seen to backfired as the people who did use retard as an unsult used special instead (How can you mess that up? You special!).

 

[Nouw]

Society probably won't stop devaluing the less-intelligent any time soon. Because we praise the intelligent, we praise the gifted, we value the gifted and their works. Nobel Prize winners, leading Mathematicians, Scientists, Writers, great artists and musicians - all of those people are highly intelligent (well, maybe not what counts as a "great" artist or musician these days - I mean, Beethoven? Genius. Bach? Genius. Skrillex? Not so much of one).

I love your post but I disagree with your denouncement of Skrillex. Although his music may suggest otherwise because it's quite different, he is an excellent producer that's mastered the kind of music he produces; dubstep songs for the masses. He may not be a great DJ live but he's a damn good producer. Go listen to his songs, they're all unique and get you moving, excited and pumped. Sure they're not as musically complex or emotional as the classical music of Beethoven or Bach but applying musical conventions, rules and standards from one genre and time-period to another is silly. He's easily a musical genius of the genre and time-period he is in.

 

[Casual Shinji]

I myself could be considered mentally retarded. Afterall, I am in a lot of ways being held back from "becoming all that I can be" by my mental disabilities. But then 'retard' is generally linked to Down Syndrome, which I don't have.

The word may carry a negative charge, but it still just a normal word that didn't originate as a form of insult.

I personally find the word "special" far more insulting. It's so fucking patronising.

This too.

I'd rather people be blunt when they use an insult then try and dress it up.

 

[SonicWaffle]

Really? I thought the term "mentally retarded" was medical, not just slang.

Not since the mid-eighties, at least. It is not a diagnostic term.

Factoid : The derogatory term 'Spaz' is a contraction of 'Spastic', which actually used to be the name of a UK based charity for Cerebral Palsy (citation needed there, don't know if it's just Cerebral Palsy). It became so common as a derogatory term that they changed it to 'Scope'.

Which in turn became a derogatory term, as in "fuck off you little Scope", or at least did when I was at school. Kids will attack each other with anything you hand them.

OT: The thing about words like retard is that they are generally used as an insult, and most people don't really think about the feelings of anyone other than the person they're insulting when they use it. If they do think about it further than that, the conclusion is likely to be "it doesn't matter if they're offended - they're retards".

As a society, we marginalise the disabled. You can have events like the Paralympics and bleat on about how "inspiring" they are (funnily enough, there was actually an increase in hate crime against the disabled immediately after the Paralympics) but that doesn't really change the way people think about disabled people. People still associate disability with there being something wrong with a person, and in much the same way that kids will use "gay" as an insult (because being gay is a deviation from the norm and also wrong) the idea is used to attack someone. It's not nice, but there it is. People throw around words like 'fag' or 'retard' because in the back of their mind, anyone offended by that is not really people, they're weirdos who have something wrong with them.

 

[Exterminas]

An insult is not a matter of semantics, it is a matter of intention.
You can be just as insulting with an euphemistic word like "special" as you can be with the word "retarded".

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Well, it's just like gay people not wanting gay to be an insult"
Uh, no. Gay people still refer to themselves as gay.

Yeah, but gay people don't use it as an insult when referring to other gay people. There's a difference between using a term and not wanting that term to be an insult.

I personally find the word "special" far more insulting. It's so fucking patronising.

It's likely a shortening of 'special needs'.
Because that's what they have.

 

[Frostbite3789]

Mostly I've seen it offend people with a relationship to someone with special needs. They don't want a word associated with being mentally delayed with an insult. I don't think it is really that big of a deal, although I'm a big biased considering I don't have anyone close that is special needs.

I can't recall the last time I said it, since I mostly say stupid or fucking dumb, or something. *shrug*

I have a younger brother who is legally deaf and blind, and can't talk. People using the word 'retard' used to bug the hell out of me. But I kind of adopted the attitude of life is too short to let something like that rustle my jimmies.

 

[Frostbite3789]

Snip

I disagree. And as someone with a family member who is special needs/disabled. Or might be considered 'retarded' I think it has a lot to do with intent.

When someone uses it as an insult, I know they aren't talking about my brother. They aren't maliciously thinking of anyone who is actually special needs. I dunno, I don't see the point of getting all riled up about it.

 

[nexus]

If we're going to play this stupid game then how about we stop using "virgin" as an insult. People actually kill themselves over that. Harassment etc.

You know what they say about being offended and living in a free society ...

I think those of "special needs" prefer not to be coddled, and placed in a corner away from all the bad stuff. I think they'd rather just be a part of society as much as possible and not have do-gooders patting them on the head trying to "protect" them.

 

[SonicWaffle]

Snip

I disagree. And as someone with a family member who is special needs/disabled. Or might be considered 'retarded' I think it has a lot to do with intent.

When someone uses it as an insult, I know they aren't talking about my brother. They aren't maliciously thinking of anyone who is actually special needs. I dunno, I don't see the point of getting all riled up about it.

No, but that wasn't my point. They aren't thinking about your brother, or Oscar Pistorious, or George Osborne (I mean seriously, there must be something going on there...). They are just using a word they know to be offensive without considering why it is offensive. However, this still betrays the fact that they believe an accusation of disability is offensive, and that they would be offended by it.

It may not be direct or malicious, in fact I'd say the majority of the time it's unthinking repetition of something learned in childhood where any deviation from the norm (too fat or too skinny, glasses or braces, red hair or being too tall) was cause for mockery, but they're still putting people like your brother into a negative category and implying that it is offensive to be compared to him.

 

[AngloDoom]

A scenario:

You overhear two teenagers talking:

A: "Mr Teacherson gave us homework right before the school holidays!"
B: "That's gay - no one's going to do that homework!"

Now again, but different.

A: "Mr Teacherson gave us homework right before the school holidays!"
B: "That's retarded - no one's going to do that homework!"

---

In the first example, the word 'gay' is being used as one might say 'lame', 'crap', 'unfortunate', 'a bother', etc. Homosexual connotations may not have even entered your mind.
In the second second, the word 'retarded' is being used because it means stupid to the point of seeming like a mental disability. The word is, at least I find, pretty inseparable from the insulting connotations to a certain group of people.

This isn't to say that saying 'gay' as a bad thing is fine (it makes you sound rather childish), but that the two comparisons you gave are pretty...well, incomparable.

 

[Frostbite3789]

Snip

I disagree. And as someone with a family member who is special needs/disabled. Or might be considered 'retarded' I think it has a lot to do with intent.

When someone uses it as an insult, I know they aren't talking about my brother. They aren't maliciously thinking of anyone who is actually special needs. I dunno, I don't see the point of getting all riled up about it.

No, but that wasn't my point. They aren't thinking about your brother, or Oscar Pistorious, or George Osborne (I mean seriously, there must be something going on there...). They are just using a word they know to be offensive without considering why it is offensive. However, this still betrays the fact that they believe an accusation of disability is offensive, and that they would be offended by it.

It may not be direct or malicious, in fact I'd say the majority of the time it's unthinking repetition of something learned in childhood where any deviation from the norm (too fat or too skinny, glasses or braces, red hair or being too tall) was cause for mockery, but they're still putting people like your brother into a negative category and implying that it is offensive to be compared to him.

A fair point. But at the same time, getting riled up and upset about it accomplishes absolutely nothing outside of raising my own blood pressure. They aren't going to heed me or what I say.

So I just take the high road and don't care. Could I guilt some people? Sure. But then I'm kind of a dick for doing that.

 

[SonicWaffle]

If we're going to play this stupid game then how about we stop using "virgin" as an insult. People actually kill themselves over that. Harassment etc.

People kill themselves because they're virgins? Have you got a link to something about this, one where being teased over lack of sex is the prime motivator and there wasn't a wider culture of bullying going on?

I just find it hard to believe that anyone would be so upset at people insuinuating they don't have a sex life that they'd actually kill themselves.

I think those of "special needs" prefer not to be coddled, and placed in a corner away from all the bad stuff. I think they'd rather just be a part of society as much as possible and not have do-gooders patting them on the head trying to "protect" them.

Clearly not, given that so-called "special needs" people themselves are complaining about the usage of the word retard. Don't you think that widespread usage of synonyms for disability as insults put disabled people in a corner? It reduces them to a single aspect of themselves and labels that aspect negative, defining them by that one trait and then using that trait as an insult.

Like I said before, I don't think it's necessarily malicious, but there doesn't have to be negative intent to cause negative reaction.

 

[DrunkOnEstus]

Somewhat related anecdote...my wife's little brother has cerebral palsy. He finds words like "retard" and "retarded" incredibly therapeutic, and encourages their use in order to clear whatever tension may be in the room. I love that kid to death. The first time I met him, he said "In case you're curious, I have mental issues, but I'm cool with it. I might 're-re' out sometimes but I'm always cool with it. The only way you'll piss me off is if you act like you have to walk on eggshells around me."

So I indulge him. I wouldn't go around yelling "retard", but do realize that each person is individual just like everyone else and is apt to have completely different tolerances about it. Talk to people. Ask them what they don't like, if you've ever offended them on accident, or if they even give a shit about being offended. It's a lot easier than speculating and coming to a consensus without the proper contextual input.

 

[SonicWaffle]

A fair point. But at the same time, getting riled up and upset about it accomplishes absolutely nothing outside of raising my own blood pressure. They aren't going to heed me or what I say.

Many won't. Some will. It's up to you personally whether you think it's worth wasting a lot of breath to make some small difference.

If nobody ever stands up and says "look, using a word this way is offensive to disabled people, even if you don't think you're doing it" then nobody is ever going to stop doing it.

So I just take the high road and don't care. Could I guilt some people? Sure. But then I'm kind of a dick for doing that.

Again, that comes down to what you personally think. Who is being more of a dick, the person casually hurting the feelings of others without ever noticing or caring, or the person who calls them out for it?

I'm certainly no saint. You can probably look through my posting history and you might find an occasion when I called someone or something retarded without even thinking, because even those who are aware that something is wrong will struggle to fight lifelong patterns of speech. I feel bad about it though, because at some point down the line another person has stopped me and said "dude, don't use that word, because you don't know who it might be offending", and isn't that better than nothing?