Drive-by insults

[bodhidharma]

Has anyone told you that you are an asshole with no life? You get your jollies by fucking with innocent people who are just trying to live their lives. You are a sad pathetic being the represents a massive social sickness within our society.

That one is original. I don't believe I have ever heard that shouted out of a car, but I can imagine it would have lasting power. Very nice.

Another entertaining vehicular past time is done on a Friday/Saturday night.

When you see people trying to flag down a taxi to get home, slow down and indicate like youre going to pick them up, watch them get their hopes up, then shout something funny as you speed off. Even better when its winter, wet and cold.

With this amount of fun and japery provided by a car I dont understand why everyone doesnt drive.

Aye thats the same as the hitch hiker on the side of the road. You pull over and just as he is reaching for the door handle you speed forward just a tad. And keep repeating til their face turns red. Good times.

 

[bodhidharma]

I once yelled "YOU'RE A FAT HOOKER" to a lady as I drove by once.

I felt justified as she was really a prostitute, and I wouldn't have been able to put my arms around her if I tried. You know, the kind that you could share with 2 of your friends and still not know they were there? ... K I'll stop.

That's a pretty good one. But think it would have been funnier if she was a skinny librarian that you were yelling it to.

 

[painfull2006]

so so sad...
yeah its pathetic

 

[FallenRainbows]

Someone did it to me... Unfortunatly my friend who was with me has "Issues" A court case + Smashed Up house + Imense violence latter... And here I am, Im fairly certain there was somthing about guns too... Not sure...

 

[huntedannoyed]

I have been watching a bunch of BBC here in the USA. Mostly shows like "Ramsay's F word" and Gram Norton and it seems like the people are constantly yelling at each other. Norton asked a guest where a actor was from and an audience member just shouted out the answer. Then, like a minute later Norton asked the same random guy a question, and someone else shouted at that same audience member! So, I agree it seems immature, but everybody seems to be doing it and I think it's a riot.

 

[bodhidharma]

Well when I'm driving at night I like to flash the crap out of pedestrians by switching my high beams on and off. Makes me laugh so its worth it.

Ya thats a solid technique. The flashing gives them temporary blindness. Now you need to learn and follow that up with a honk and puddle splash for the trifecta.

People do that in the USA too. Dumbass immature jerks. I've had NYC construction workers hoot and holler rude stuff at me, as well as any other female walking down the street simply because we're female. Most people here just consider the source and ignore it, I know I do. Guys in cars do the same thing, but they also yell confrontational stuff at guys on the street too, usually trying to provoke a fight.

You only need to worry when they aren't whistling.

Ah, this has been happening to me forever. I'll never forget the first time it happened though. I was walking home from school one day, and these assholes drive by, attempting to insult me with something completely illegible. Well I guess they found out that I didn't hear them, so they turned around and did it again, but this time the passenger opened his door as they drove by (to increase his douchebag level I presume). The diver jerks the wheel for some reason as the other dude opens the door, causing him to fall out and faceplant right in the concrete. I call the police, explain what happened and walk away.

That would have been the ultimate opportunity to stand over the bleeding guy and go into a laughing fit looking him straight in the eyes. I would look on that scenario with regrets.

 

[bodhidharma]

so so sad...
yeah its pathetic

That's a bit tough to deliver while speeding in a car. But like the thought process involved. Maybe on a motorcycle you could pull right up to them, say that, then speed off.

 

[Shadow Law]

*pulls up and rolls down window* "I DISAGREE" *drives away*

 

[XJ-0461]

Its not even decent insults, when I get it they shout "Get a haircut", which is just silly since my hair doesn't hurt them at all.

I had that shouted at me the other day, by some chav arseholes whose combined IQ was probably equivalent to my shoelaces.

 

[Andalusa]

DIRTY REDHEAD.

Oh, thanks for letting me in on the colour of my own hair, you morons.

That's happened a lot to me too and that's pretty much the same response they get as well.

 

[clicketycrack]

Someone once yelled that I was a dick. I'm not sure how they would know that unless they knew me.

 

[bodhidharma]

*pulls up and rolls down window* "I DISAGREE" *drives away*

Needs some work.

Someone once yelled that I was a dick. I'm not sure how they would know that unless they knew me.

This is a classic. Never gets old just a one word simple slur can get the random persons attention. I imagine this being shouted very loudly by the passenger hanging halfway out the window. Not original but if delivered right its breathtaking.

 

[hannahdonno]

DIRTY REDHEAD.

Oh, thanks for letting me in on the colour of my own hair, you morons.

That's happened a lot to me too and that's pretty much the same response they get as well.

They say it like your about to break down, like "OMG I NEVER NOTICED BEFORE!" It's just like like, "No shit Sherlock"

 

[bodhidharma]

DIRTY REDHEAD.

Oh, thanks for letting me in on the colour of my own hair, you morons.

I had no idea there was a correlation between hair colour and hygiene...

Your lucky if all you get is insults. Im reformed now but in the past Ive been known to shout things like get a job to students, plus much worse. Me and my friends have also done drive bys with burgers, milkshakes or water bombs. Ive also soaked many a pedestrian/student with a well planned accelleration through a puddle.

When someone insults me from a car it makes me giggle. I know theyre having fun and I get a flash back from a past act of douchebaggey. Its all part of the fun of motoring.

Aye its all good times. Why did you stop? You know you are never too old to throw a milkshake?

 

[UsefulPlayer 1]

I think one time someone tried to drive-by water gun me.

Sadly his mate pulled him up to me while he was still pumping his water gun. I paused and then looked over just to be more dramatic. I couldn't help but grin as I was a yard away from him and he sat there pumping his water blaster. I chuckled and moved on. I turned to see them spray water out of the car as they drove.

 

[jdog345]

This is kind of off-topic, but funny none the less. I was skateboarding home once and some people honked their horn (I was on the sidewalk, about 1 foot from the road) so of course it was loud. Anyway, I jump a bit, and they start to laugh. Well karma is a b****, because moments later they hit a pole.

Karma FTW. If I were you, I would have doubled over in laughter.

Anyway, douchebags in my town like to honk when I'm on my bike going downhill. Not a fun experience.

 

[Andalusa]

DIRTY REDHEAD.

Oh, thanks for letting me in on the colour of my own hair, you morons.

That's happened a lot to me too and that's pretty much the same response they get as well.

They say it like your about to break down, like "OMG I NEVER NOTICED BEFORE!" It's just like like, "No shit Sherlock"

I know.
If it's a person in the same room or someone walking past I just say 'Yes, I also have elbows and your hair is brown/black/blonde'

 

[similar.squirrel]

I do not know if this is a cultural thing, but here in the UK its fairly popular. Basically a chav/boy racer will drive past someone and shout an insult at them as they drive past. Most of the time it doesn't even work because the person being shouted at is listening to their ipod/the driver is going to fast so you only catch a few syllables of what they are shouting. Its not even decent insults, when I get it they shout "Get a haircut", which is just silly since my hair doesn't hurt them at all.

Its victimless sure, but I find the activity very immature, if there's one thing I expect drivers to be its mature! Watch the road, not the path looking for Otaku's/goths/girls! Is this a UK only thing? What has been shouted at you, if anything?

Yep. 'Get a haircut, you fcking freak' is a popular one. Needless to say, I live in Ireland. One day, I'm going to leave a little present from the Anarchist's Cookbook under an offending bonnet.

 

[hannahdonno]

DIRTY REDHEAD.

Oh, thanks for letting me in on the colour of my own hair, you morons.

That's happened a lot to me too and that's pretty much the same response they get as well.

They say it like your about to break down, like "OMG I NEVER NOTICED BEFORE!" It's just like like, "No shit Sherlock"

I know.
If it's a person in the same room or someone walking past I just say 'Yes, I also have elbows and your hair is brown/black/blonde'

Haha, good one (Y) The worst is when someone goes "I am not a redhead! I'm strawberry blonde!!" These people need a slap.