Dumbest thing said to opposite gender
- Thread starter AkJay
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In Smiths doth my fateful tale take place. I was reaching for a top shelf, with great difficulty (I hadn't had a growth spurt in a while)
Random guy in shop: Hey, babe. You need some help?
Me: What?
Random guy in shop: Can I help you, miss?
Me: Ster.
Random guy in shop: What?
Me: Ster. Mister.
Random guy in shop: (
)<---- that face.
Yeah, I'm a guy, but am also rather androgynous. Guys hit on me all the time, old ladies in the bank (grrr) call me a 'pretty young lady', and a guy in a café thought I was a lesbian because I came in with a girl.
Obviously, I don't get out much anymore
Plus, last time I said that Edward Cullen looked like a bullfrog, Jasper had been hooked up to a Van der Graaf generator, Bella had two emotions and less brain cells and that basically the whole movie in general was shit, I was mobbed by a horde of fangirls screaming blue murder.
Random guy in shop: Hey, babe. You need some help?
Me: What?
Random guy in shop: Can I help you, miss?
Me: Ster.
Random guy in shop: What?
Me: Ster. Mister.
Random guy in shop: (
)<---- that face.Yeah, I'm a guy, but am also rather androgynous. Guys hit on me all the time, old ladies in the bank (grrr) call me a 'pretty young lady', and a guy in a café thought I was a lesbian because I came in with a girl.
Obviously, I don't get out much anymore
Plus, last time I said that Edward Cullen looked like a bullfrog, Jasper had been hooked up to a Van der Graaf generator, Bella had two emotions and less brain cells and that basically the whole movie in general was shit, I was mobbed by a horde of fangirls screaming blue murder.
Sorry if I'm a bit wordy, I like telling stories... I'll try to keep them short
Senior year in high school we were talking about innuendos in English and the teacher told us that anything could be taken the wrong way by adding "if you know what I mean" to the end of anything in the right tone, so I looked to the girl to my right, another member of the debate team, known her for years, best friends and all that jazz, safe to say anything right?
"Two heads are better than one..." instantly changed from a comment about teamwork to an invitation to go grab another friend.
------------
slight bit of preface needed. I'm biracial, black and white, needless to say there aren't a great many of us, but the questions I get when meeting new people are rarely new.
several years later, new city, new girl, just met her five minutes ago at my friend's birthday party, and I was talking with her and a group of new girl's friends. One of them randomly asks if I'm asian (normal question number 1). I respond that I'm half black (begging the next question at this point). Her group goes silent and stares at her, eyebrows cocked, she doesn't notice. She falls for it like everyone usually does "We'll which half" to which I respond "The bottom one of course". The entire group laughs, she turns beat red, a couple of my friends drop their jaws cause they'd never seen be flirt before. Fun joke, girl embarrassed, and I've got points for different, interesting, and funny all within 30 seconds.
I find out later that apparently she'd been dating another half black guy on campus (*gasp! anozzer one!*) that she'd been bragging about and they'd never met, and assumed that I was him, and we had set up the joke. She hasn't looked me straight in the face since. Alienating a possible friend and marking myself as off-limits to an entire group of people I'd just met in one fell swoop.
--------
Same night, later on, different girl
I'd had a fight with my girlfriend a month and a half earlier, so that particular night I was drunk and single, a combination that's only happened once, and at some point it seems like a wonderful idea to make out with the girl I'm dancing with. Party dies down, and she comments that she's tired and going to bed, to which I respond "Sounds like fun, mind if I tag along?"
I've never flirted before this night and apparently I'm good at it because she did lead me away by the hand and grabbed another one of my friends with boobs that I would under no other circumstances ever think about touching.
Before anything starts I tell them that I'm going to my own bed alone
this has earned me much heckling as well as frustration from some of my friends that I turned down a threesome, but I guess finding out later that the girl I'd been dancing with was a lesbian and dating one of my friends defiantly made turning it down the right decision, my spleen is shiv free because of it. (needless to say I fear this woman when she is angry, much more so than my father who is a drill sergeant)
-------
Morning after, to my ex
She calls and tells me that she's willing to work through our previous fight and get together. Excellent.
Being who I am, I decide that if any stories started buzzing around about the previous night she would hear the entirety of it from me, no omissions, no lies, and how I felt about all of it.
She wasn't happy to hear that while she was forgiving me and mulling things over I nearly slept with two other women. She's still not happy about it and would rather I not be anywhere near either of them, and she's not sure she trusts me anymore, but if it's giving up two friends I'm not terribly close to for my girlfriend of 3 years, I'm fine with that.
Still. "I nearly had a threesome two doors down from you" was probably a poor choice of words, the timing wasn't great either.
Senior year in high school we were talking about innuendos in English and the teacher told us that anything could be taken the wrong way by adding "if you know what I mean" to the end of anything in the right tone, so I looked to the girl to my right, another member of the debate team, known her for years, best friends and all that jazz, safe to say anything right?
"Two heads are better than one..." instantly changed from a comment about teamwork to an invitation to go grab another friend.
------------
slight bit of preface needed. I'm biracial, black and white, needless to say there aren't a great many of us, but the questions I get when meeting new people are rarely new.
several years later, new city, new girl, just met her five minutes ago at my friend's birthday party, and I was talking with her and a group of new girl's friends. One of them randomly asks if I'm asian (normal question number 1). I respond that I'm half black (begging the next question at this point). Her group goes silent and stares at her, eyebrows cocked, she doesn't notice. She falls for it like everyone usually does "We'll which half" to which I respond "The bottom one of course". The entire group laughs, she turns beat red, a couple of my friends drop their jaws cause they'd never seen be flirt before. Fun joke, girl embarrassed, and I've got points for different, interesting, and funny all within 30 seconds.
I find out later that apparently she'd been dating another half black guy on campus (*gasp! anozzer one!*) that she'd been bragging about and they'd never met, and assumed that I was him, and we had set up the joke. She hasn't looked me straight in the face since. Alienating a possible friend and marking myself as off-limits to an entire group of people I'd just met in one fell swoop.
--------
Same night, later on, different girl
I'd had a fight with my girlfriend a month and a half earlier, so that particular night I was drunk and single, a combination that's only happened once, and at some point it seems like a wonderful idea to make out with the girl I'm dancing with. Party dies down, and she comments that she's tired and going to bed, to which I respond "Sounds like fun, mind if I tag along?"
I've never flirted before this night and apparently I'm good at it because she did lead me away by the hand and grabbed another one of my friends with boobs that I would under no other circumstances ever think about touching.
Before anything starts I tell them that I'm going to my own bed alone
this has earned me much heckling as well as frustration from some of my friends that I turned down a threesome, but I guess finding out later that the girl I'd been dancing with was a lesbian and dating one of my friends defiantly made turning it down the right decision, my spleen is shiv free because of it. (needless to say I fear this woman when she is angry, much more so than my father who is a drill sergeant)
-------
Morning after, to my ex
She calls and tells me that she's willing to work through our previous fight and get together. Excellent.
Being who I am, I decide that if any stories started buzzing around about the previous night she would hear the entirety of it from me, no omissions, no lies, and how I felt about all of it.
She wasn't happy to hear that while she was forgiving me and mulling things over I nearly slept with two other women. She's still not happy about it and would rather I not be anywhere near either of them, and she's not sure she trusts me anymore, but if it's giving up two friends I'm not terribly close to for my girlfriend of 3 years, I'm fine with that.
Still. "I nearly had a threesome two doors down from you" was probably a poor choice of words, the timing wasn't great either.