Dumbest Things Customers Have Said

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Tsaba

reconnoiter
Oct 6, 2009
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sonicguru said:
Most common one is this;

Customer: Do you know where [item] is?
Me: (points) Just there.

They were blindly standing next to it.
if I had a nickel for every time that happens,

Mine is,

"Do you work here?"

and I'll be standing there, with blue jeans, a t-shirt, and sandles on... just stare at them.... and then walk away.
 

Canid117

New member
Oct 6, 2009
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mysecondlife said:
Canid117 said:
mysecondlife said:
I used to work in Coldstone Creamery.

A customer came in with coupon and she wanted to get something of more value than what the coupon was offering. Obviously, I wouldn't let her.

Then she was crying and then said "You should really honor the coupon you know"

Irony...
How is that Irony?
she herself wasn't honoring the coupon. Think it was a bad choice of words?
I think hypocrisy would be a better choice. Whenever in doubt consult this handy dandy chart.
 

Canadamus Prime

Robot in Disguise
Jun 17, 2009
14,334
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lbucyk said:
canadamus_prime said:
A few years back I used to work in Internet tech support and I once had a customer freak at me when I asked him to make a space on the keyboard. I can't even remember what I was having him type. I think I was getting him to ping something, not sure why though.

Also a colleague at the time got a customer who apparently didn't like the sound of his mouse clicking and wanted to know how to turn the volume down. *facepalm*
I heard a story where they where having troble printing yellow and after 5 10 min. the it support found out the paper was yellow
That's not my worst story, I had another customer who I swear it took me at LEAST 5 to 10 minutes (although it felt more like half an hour) to get her type the letter 'Z' on the keyboard.
 

MetalDooley

Cwipes!!!
Feb 9, 2010
2,054
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Ireland
Some years back I worked in a movie and game rental store.One day a woman comes up to the counter with several PS1 games.She asks me if they will work on her kids PC.I politely explain that they won't and will only work on a Playstation console.She seemed baffled by this as "the discs are the same as the ones the computer uses"(which they weren't PS1 discs had a black surface instead of shiny).After spending several minutes trying to explain she insisted on renting them anyway

30 minutes later she storms back into the store looking quite annoyed and says "these games you rented to me earlier don't work".I felt like banging my head on the counter in front of her

That's the one that always stands out in my mind but there's others like the guy who complained that we didn't have enough Westerns and that we should make more of them.I had to politely point out that we had nothing to do with movie production

Or the guy who came in every week looking for a copy of "The Big Lebowski"(just to clarify due to a dispute with the distribution company we never received that movie).Every week I told him we didn't have it and wouldn't be getting it and yet every week he showed up without fail looking for it
 

blue heartless

Senior Member
Legacy
Aug 28, 2005
501
6
23
Two come to mind that happened in the same day.

"Do you sell any hemp products?" - walk-in customer

"Are your lotions safe for use...'down there'?" - via phone

I have had customers argue with me that the $12 hand lotion is a better buy than the $10.50 body lotions.
 

Jamboxdotcom

New member
Nov 3, 2010
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We sell truckmounted carpet cleaning equipment and cover a 4 state area. Customer on the phone: "My machine is leaking water/oil/other. Where is it coming from?" Geeee, we're 400 miles away from you, but we'll just call our CIA spy satellites and examine your machine for you to determine where this leak is.
 

Jamboxdotcom

New member
Nov 3, 2010
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MaxPowers666 said:
Im curious but why would you be having to card everybody in the party? It really doesnt seem to make any sense to me.
Have to make sure people aren't buying alcohol for minors. If a group of young people come buy alcohol, chances are they're all drinking it, not just the ones who are of legal age. Keep in mind, the US is much more anal about drinking age than Canada is. Alcohol is Satan's Piss down here in the Land of Moral Guardians.
 

Fern Williams

New member
Jan 23, 2011
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I use to work apple tech support. I had a call come in from a lady that got some crumbs in between the keys of her macbook pro. The lady put the mac in the dishwasher to clean out the crumbs and then didn't understand why the mac wouldn't work after.
 

Spade Lead

New member
Nov 9, 2009
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MaxPowers666 said:
Im curious but why would you be having to card everybody in the party? It really doesnt seem to make any sense to me.
Because, she could be buying it for her underage friend, boyfriend, whatever.

When my wife and I celebrated our reunion after our separation, I took her out for our anniversary (one hell of a coincidence that we got back together right after, within a day, of our anniversary) and bought her alcohol. She left her ID in the car, but the server let us get away with me buying her alcohol. Well, she was only 19, but I was 21... THAT is why you card the entire party.
 

MarkDavis94

New member
Jan 12, 2011
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I work at McDonalds
The other week a man comes up to the till and says to me 'I want an Angus Burger'
I went 'Sorry we don't do Angus Burgers'
To which he replied 'Burger King do'



'....SEE THAT GIANT FUCKING M OUTSIDE, NOT FOOKING BURGER KING ARE WE'
 

Terminate421

New member
Jul 21, 2010
5,773
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Heres a game stop,
Customer: "Do you have the Super Mario Game on Xbox?"
Employee: "Ma'am we do not, Mario games are only available on wii."
Customer: "No, I'm sure I had a coupon, lemme get my purse and-"
Employee: "Ma'am I can assure you that there are no Mario games on Xbox360"
Customer: "Then can you point me to another store that has one?"

I was practically superman to the Employee when I explained to her everything. In the end, she just got Guitar Hero 3 for the kid.
 

Darkong

New member
Nov 6, 2007
217
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I think this might be more crazy than dumb but... I used to work in the restaurant of a hotel, and one time we had this group come in to stay, they were archaeologists and were visiting local sites using the hotel as a base. On the first morning at the self-service breakfast stand a woman started becoming hysterical that there were bacon and sausages on offer, then got more so when she saw the fried eggs, she demanded to see the manager and asked him why there were such things on offer. Turned out she was a militant vegan and was offended that we had such things on display where she could see them, saying it was ruining her stay. Mercifully the group threw her out the next day, after having to endure her whining about everything on the menu at night and telling everyone how the food they were eating was cruel.
 

ashglent

New member
Sep 21, 2009
38
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cutomer walks into my burgerking and askes for a double cheese burger small fries and small coke in total it comes to £4.99 i say that u can get a double cheeseburger reg fries and reg coke for £3.49 ....... they look at me for two mins and say no they will have the more expensive small meal and then complain about the price WTF i just offerd u a larger meal for over a quid less u stuid arse man


want sause with that
customer-no thanks
me- ok then enjoy your meal

customer starts to walk away .... have you got tomato sause

no no i havent please leave now lol
 

ashglent

New member
Sep 21, 2009
38
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MarkDavis94 said:
I work at McDonalds
The other week a man comes up to the till and says to me 'I want an Angus Burger'
I went 'Sorry we don't do Angus Burgers'
To which he replied 'Burger King do'



'....SEE THAT GIANT FUCKING M OUTSIDE, NOT FOOKING BURGER KING ARE WE'

hey when you work at burgerking and hear for the 1 million times can i have a big mac i can see y people want to go on mass rampages lol
 

lostlambda

New member
May 19, 2011
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Clear Call Center.
Me okay we need to remove the battery from the modem
Customer okay
SNAP!!!
customer i took the laptop battery out it was realy in there
 

not-sid

New member
Mar 18, 2009
134
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Ok so I was working customer service for Apple and I get a call. A customer had just purchased an iPhone and said it wasn't working. I asked him what he did so far and what buttons he may have pressed. He replied saying that he saw no buttons. I asked him what he did see and he said a siver plate with the word iPhone on it. He was holding it backwards.