dumbest way you hurt yourself

[RooftopAssassin]

I was stapling a wad of paper over and over, and I guess one part of it was too thin and I stapled the paper wad to my thumb. It was easily taken out, but I hadn't eaten in a day so the blood loss almost made me pass out.

 

[w1ndscar]

Me and my friends thought it would be great to take airsoft guns and shoot at each other in another friends basement, I stood up only to get shot in the eye. Had my eyelid not been fast enough, I would've gone blind.

 

[Eumersian]

Oh, another one! I was trying to staple something, but it jammed. I opened up the stapler to pull out the bent staple, with my thumb carefully placed upon the orifice from which staples emerge. Right when I managed to yank the bad staple from the opening, I accidentally pushed down on the top of the stapler. Yep?

 

[DocBalance]

Jumped off a 10-foot bleacher to avoid a baseball. Shattered both of my knees. This is why time-machines need to hurry up and be invented, so I can go back in time and beat the crap out of myself for being so stupid...

A ten foot jump is pretty land-able no? Just fold sideways on contact with the ground.

See, it would be pretty land-able, and if I was anywhere near as athletic then as I am now it wouldn't have been a problem. But I did a sort of slide dive off the side and tried to use my knees to brace the impact. Old soccer habits that weren't exactly adjusted for height. So, when 250 pounds hits two kneecaps on concrete, pain happens, and happens very vibrantly.

 

[Da Joz]

I cut my tongue with a starbursts hard candy once.

 

[Wakefield]

I swallowed a jolly rancher whole while at work (not on purpose) I was in so much pain they sent me to the hospital.

And no one ever let me live that down.

I also severally injured my back while refereeing a hockey game.

I fell on my ass.

Yes my injuries are always that dignified.

 

[soren7550]

I keep getting hit by doorknobs. And I don't mean people throw them at me, I man I keep walking into the ones attached to doors.

Second stupidest injury I keep getting is from when I walk into doorways.

 

[Mimssy]

the pair of snow boots I was wearing got caught together, I tripped, and the suitcase I was holding bent my finger back to my wrist and broke it.

 

[RandomWords]

Cut myself while picking up a quarter, how is that even possible?

 

[Zanaxal]

I jumped out of a tree and landed on a metal rod, the metal rod then see-sawed and became airborne. Hitting me with a sharp end square in the eye brow. I still remember the sheer bad luck, as i was WTF happened? thinking some animal crashed in my face the seconds after. I still have a scar reminding me of this feat.

 

[Silent observer]

So it's a snow day, and we all head for a massive hill in the woods where a bunch of people a congregating. By the time we get there, the number of people sledding has hard packed the snow down the hill into a series of icy bumps.

WE decide to try three people on a tiny one man sled - halfway down the sled suddenly disappears out from underneath us as we are going over a bump and we end up sliding the last 30 feet on our asses/hands and knees/faces as we desperately try to regain control and stand up.

Bear in mind this hill had at least a 45 degree angle on its slope, and said slope was a good 50-60 feet long.

I'm told it was quite something to watch

 

[Crash 9000]

Fell down 12 concrete stairs trying to ride my bike down them once I saw my father do it.
Terrible idea. Wasn't really hurt though, just a few grazes.

 

[theriddlen]

Ah, you reminded me of something.

Once i was driving a bike and reading a magazine (bike was awesomely stable and reliable, no need to use hands), and obviously it had to end like that - crash, i lie on sidewalk and notice a tree that was on my way.

 

[Danpascooch]

10 minutes ago a cup broke and i tried catching the broken pieces as they fell and cut my thumb pretty badly, so whats the dumbest way you hurt yourself?

I got a good one, but first...

I got two, both equally fucking ridiculous

1.) I cut myself on the edge of a crab shell when eating snow crab legs at a Red Lobster, most pretentious injury EVER

2.) One time I did one of those "test of strength" carnival games, I was like 13, and I guess this one was made for people a bit younger than me, long story short, the rubber hammer rebounded off the target and flung back straight into my face. ow...

That's nice Dan, but it's accidents and not really your fault. Dumb would be if you hurt yourself by doing something that would clearly put you in pain, yet you do it anyways. Like This:

I got no sense of balance. None! I don't know the cause. It could be: Ears Problem, Bad Eyesight, The fact that i'm overweight, Irreparably clumsy. The point is, i either walk or take the car. But when i was 15, one of my friend made his mission to turn me into a "Sk8erboy". It didn't work out. At. All. After a few falls, he decide that maybe the Surfer trick would do the trick. To do this, we went to a 81 degree hill near home and he show me what to do. "When you build enough speed, slowly stand up." I couldn't. The asphalt, at this point, was turning right and since i was going straight to the tree line. I put the brake... with my bare-hand and didn't pull them up until i was completely stopped. I rip the first of the three layers of skin on them that day.

My long lost twin is found at last! lol.

Anyway, honestly those are probably the dumbest injuries I have, I'm a pretty careful person, I just thought of some more that might fit though.

1.) You know those wrist pads that people put in front of their keyboards for wrist support? Turns out they're pretty important, I got tendinitis in BOTH of my wrists one summer from playing WoW (sad I know, but I was 15, so don't give me that "did you have NO life!? crap, I still hung out with friends, and most of them were also playing)

2.) One time when I was like 10, I fell forward off of my bike (no idea how that happened) and hit the pavement hard, face first. I ended up in prompt care (it was a Sunday I think), my arms were scraped pretty bad, but interestingly enough, my face was fine except for a SINGLE vertical scratch from the bottom of my nose to the top of my upper lip, perfectly centered between my nostrils, amazingly, my nose didn't have a single cut, nor my chin, to this day I wonder how exactly my face got cut ONLY there, I imagine it had to be from something really unlikely, like a perfectly shaped pebble on the ground when I landed or something. The point is, they glued it shut and told me not to remove the glue for a week. The minute the doctor turned her back, literally before even leaving the examination room RIIIIIIP I tore that shit right off. It was annoying me, and I'd do it again I have a pretty funny looking (and avoidable) unique looking scar there now, I like it.

Whew, that last one was long, sorry.

I may not have too many great "I hurt myself in stupid ways" stories, but if you want to hear a dentist horror story or a surgery horror story (it was a weird surgery too.... I had this floating bump under the skin on my left arm that I could move around, it was cool, I miss that bump lol) I could make anyone cringe.

 

[Akalistos]

10 minutes ago a cup broke and i tried catching the broken pieces as they fell and cut my thumb pretty badly, so whats the dumbest way you hurt yourself?

I got a good one, but first...

I got two, both equally fucking ridiculous

1.) I cut myself on the edge of a crab shell when eating snow crab legs at a Red Lobster, most pretentious injury EVER

2.) One time I did one of those "test of strength" carnival games, I was like 13, and I guess this one was made for people a bit younger than me, long story short, the rubber hammer rebounded off the target and flung back straight into my face. ow...

That's nice Dan, but it's accidents and not really your fault. Dumb would be if you hurt yourself by doing something that would clearly put you in pain, yet you do it anyways. Like This:

I got no sense of balance. None! I don't know the cause. It could be: Ears Problem, Bad Eyesight, The fact that i'm overweight, Irreparably clumsy. The point is, i either walk or take the car. But when i was 15, one of my friend made his mission to turn me into a "Sk8erboy". It didn't work out. At. All. After a few falls, he decide that maybe the Surfer trick would do the trick. To do this, we went to a 81 degree hill near home and he show me what to do. "When you build enough speed, slowly stand up." I couldn't. The asphalt, at this point, was turning right and since i was going straight to the tree line. I put the brake... with my bare-hand and didn't pull them up until i was completely stopped. I rip the first of the three layers of skin on them that day.

My long lost twin is found at last! lol.

Anyway, honestly those are probably the dumbest injuries I have, I'm a pretty careful person, I just thought of some more that might fit though.

1.) You know those wrist pads that people put in front of their keyboards for wrist support? Turns out they're pretty important, I got tendinitis in BOTH of my wrists one summer from playing WoW (sad I know, but I was 15, so don't give me that "did you have NO life!? crap, I still hung out with friends, and most of them were also playing)

2.) One time when I was like 10, I fell forward off of my bike (no idea how that happened) and hit the pavement hard, face first. I ended up in prompt care (it was a Sunday I think), my arms were scraped pretty bad, but interestingly enough, my face was fine except for a SINGLE vertical scratch from the bottom of my nose to the top of my upper lip, perfectly centered between my nostrils, amazingly, my nose didn't have a single cut, nor my chin, to this day I wonder how exactly my face got cut ONLY there, I imagine it had to be from something really unlikely, like a perfectly shaped pebble on the ground when I landed or something. The point is, they glued it shut and told me not to remove the glue for a week. The minute the doctor turned her back, literally before even leaving the examination room RIIIIIIP I tore that shit right off. It was annoying me, and I'd do it again I have a pretty funny looking (and avoidable) unique looking scar there now, I like it.

Whew, that last one was long, sorry.

I may not have too many great "I hurt myself in stupid ways" stories, but if you want to hear a dentist horror story or a surgery horror story (it was a weird surgery too.... I had this floating bump under the skin on my left arm that I could move around, it was cool, I miss that bump lol) I could make anyone cringe.

Heeee! Ok. Well, I lost some weight since then (At least belly weight in favor of biceps) and but my eyes sight wasn't terrible enough (now, it is... Which make me curse that foul body). I only recite the cause of such trouble.

As for friends, yeah. I got gamer friend which is a pain. I would love doing more sport but playing hoops alone is... pretty much retarded. So is tennis. And the last activity i did was DnD Larping. Don't laugh, when you are fully geared you basically carrying 70 pounds of metal over a full day.

 

[Brightzide]

trying to lift up a barbed wire fence when all your friends are jumping on it, then your hands get stuck...Ahhh the pain, seems just like yesterday( though it was 3 years ago ). Luckily my brother noticed I was hurting and got everyone off and tried to lift it, if he didnt I probably would've lost my hands. I salute you Greg!

 

[Eternalsun]

I was trying to open a toy packet one of those ones you get in cereal boxes. I used a letter opener and it went right through it and right through my hand where i could see the tip of the knife coming out of my hand. But luckily didnt hit anything important so yay =]

 

[Danpascooch]

10 minutes ago a cup broke and i tried catching the broken pieces as they fell and cut my thumb pretty badly, so whats the dumbest way you hurt yourself?

I got a good one, but first...

I got two, both equally fucking ridiculous

1.) I cut myself on the edge of a crab shell when eating snow crab legs at a Red Lobster, most pretentious injury EVER

2.) One time I did one of those "test of strength" carnival games, I was like 13, and I guess this one was made for people a bit younger than me, long story short, the rubber hammer rebounded off the target and flung back straight into my face. ow...

That's nice Dan, but it's accidents and not really your fault. Dumb would be if you hurt yourself by doing something that would clearly put you in pain, yet you do it anyways. Like This:

I got no sense of balance. None! I don't know the cause. It could be: Ears Problem, Bad Eyesight, The fact that i'm overweight, Irreparably clumsy. The point is, i either walk or take the car. But when i was 15, one of my friend made his mission to turn me into a "Sk8erboy". It didn't work out. At. All. After a few falls, he decide that maybe the Surfer trick would do the trick. To do this, we went to a 81 degree hill near home and he show me what to do. "When you build enough speed, slowly stand up." I couldn't. The asphalt, at this point, was turning right and since i was going straight to the tree line. I put the brake... with my bare-hand and didn't pull them up until i was completely stopped. I rip the first of the three layers of skin on them that day.

My long lost twin is found at last! lol.

Anyway, honestly those are probably the dumbest injuries I have, I'm a pretty careful person, I just thought of some more that might fit though.

1.) You know those wrist pads that people put in front of their keyboards for wrist support? Turns out they're pretty important, I got tendinitis in BOTH of my wrists one summer from playing WoW (sad I know, but I was 15, so don't give me that "did you have NO life!? crap, I still hung out with friends, and most of them were also playing)

2.) One time when I was like 10, I fell forward off of my bike (no idea how that happened) and hit the pavement hard, face first. I ended up in prompt care (it was a Sunday I think), my arms were scraped pretty bad, but interestingly enough, my face was fine except for a SINGLE vertical scratch from the bottom of my nose to the top of my upper lip, perfectly centered between my nostrils, amazingly, my nose didn't have a single cut, nor my chin, to this day I wonder how exactly my face got cut ONLY there, I imagine it had to be from something really unlikely, like a perfectly shaped pebble on the ground when I landed or something. The point is, they glued it shut and told me not to remove the glue for a week. The minute the doctor turned her back, literally before even leaving the examination room RIIIIIIP I tore that shit right off. It was annoying me, and I'd do it again I have a pretty funny looking (and avoidable) unique looking scar there now, I like it.

Whew, that last one was long, sorry.

I may not have too many great "I hurt myself in stupid ways" stories, but if you want to hear a dentist horror story or a surgery horror story (it was a weird surgery too.... I had this floating bump under the skin on my left arm that I could move around, it was cool, I miss that bump lol) I could make anyone cringe.

Heeee! Ok. Well, I lost some weight since then (At least belly weight in favor of biceps) and but my eyes sight wasn't terrible enough (now, it is... Which make me curse that foul body). I only recite the cause of such trouble.

As for friends, yeah. I got gamer friend which is a pain. I would love doing more sport but playing hoops alone is... pretty much retarded. So is tennis. And the last activity i did was DnD Larping. Don't laugh, when you are fully geared you basically carrying 70 pounds of metal over a full day.

LARPing? I'm sorry, I know you're a nice guy, but laughing is absolutely mandatory

*points* HA HA!

 

[Akalistos]

10 minutes ago a cup broke and i tried catching the broken pieces as they fell and cut my thumb pretty badly, so whats the dumbest way you hurt yourself?

I got a good one, but first...

I got two, both equally fucking ridiculous

1.) I cut myself on the edge of a crab shell when eating snow crab legs at a Red Lobster, most pretentious injury EVER

2.) One time I did one of those "test of strength" carnival games, I was like 13, and I guess this one was made for people a bit younger than me, long story short, the rubber hammer rebounded off the target and flung back straight into my face. ow...

That's nice Dan, but it's accidents and not really your fault. Dumb would be if you hurt yourself by doing something that would clearly put you in pain, yet you do it anyways. Like This:

I got no sense of balance. None! I don't know the cause. It could be: Ears Problem, Bad Eyesight, The fact that i'm overweight, Irreparably clumsy. The point is, i either walk or take the car. But when i was 15, one of my friend made his mission to turn me into a "Sk8erboy". It didn't work out. At. All. After a few falls, he decide that maybe the Surfer trick would do the trick. To do this, we went to a 81 degree hill near home and he show me what to do. "When you build enough speed, slowly stand up." I couldn't. The asphalt, at this point, was turning right and since i was going straight to the tree line. I put the brake... with my bare-hand and didn't pull them up until i was completely stopped. I rip the first of the three layers of skin on them that day.

My long lost twin is found at last! lol.

Anyway, honestly those are probably the dumbest injuries I have, I'm a pretty careful person, I just thought of some more that might fit though.

1.) You know those wrist pads that people put in front of their keyboards for wrist support? Turns out they're pretty important, I got tendinitis in BOTH of my wrists one summer from playing WoW (sad I know, but I was 15, so don't give me that "did you have NO life!? crap, I still hung out with friends, and most of them were also playing)

2.) One time when I was like 10, I fell forward off of my bike (no idea how that happened) and hit the pavement hard, face first. I ended up in prompt care (it was a Sunday I think), my arms were scraped pretty bad, but interestingly enough, my face was fine except for a SINGLE vertical scratch from the bottom of my nose to the top of my upper lip, perfectly centered between my nostrils, amazingly, my nose didn't have a single cut, nor my chin, to this day I wonder how exactly my face got cut ONLY there, I imagine it had to be from something really unlikely, like a perfectly shaped pebble on the ground when I landed or something. The point is, they glued it shut and told me not to remove the glue for a week. The minute the doctor turned her back, literally before even leaving the examination room RIIIIIIP I tore that shit right off. It was annoying me, and I'd do it again I have a pretty funny looking (and avoidable) unique looking scar there now, I like it.

Whew, that last one was long, sorry.

I may not have too many great "I hurt myself in stupid ways" stories, but if you want to hear a dentist horror story or a surgery horror story (it was a weird surgery too.... I had this floating bump under the skin on my left arm that I could move around, it was cool, I miss that bump lol) I could make anyone cringe.

Heeee! Ok. Well, I lost some weight since then (At least belly weight in favor of biceps) and but my eyes sight wasn't terrible enough (now, it is... Which make me curse that foul body). I only recite the cause of such trouble.

As for friends, yeah. I got gamer friend which is a pain. I would love doing more sport but playing hoops alone is... pretty much retarded. So is tennis. And the last activity i did was DnD Larping. Don't laugh, when you are fully geared you basically carrying 70 pounds of metal over a full day.

LARPing? I'm sorry, I know you're a nice guy, but laughing is absolutely mandatory

*points* HA HA!

Laugh all you want Dan but remember this: There's people out there that payed and still pay for a 3hour workout, running around a track with weight. I did it Better (weighted bracelet are only available in 10 pound to a total of 40 pound) for longer (10 hours) and i didn't have to pay. Who's the fool now?

And by the way, when was the last time you train yourself in any way?