Weeeeell, it was a massive "fuck you" to the fans... of an already pretty mental show. I enjoyed the show - it's my favourite anime of all time (despite how fucked up it is) - and it's loaded with symbolism and psychological studies. That's what people are fans of. That and the buckets of blood. But don't get me wrong, it ain't anywhere near perfect. Asuka, for one, gets on my nerves and I was fine with her getting what she got toward the end. I enjoy the remakes because they're less "fucked up for fucked-up's sake". The creator was going through a seriously dark time, of course, and seems to be through the worst of it with the newer version. But if you want fields of flowers and warm fuzzy feelings, you're watching the wrong anime.
I'm glad you're levelling an argument at it because of it's truly sick view on life et al... and not because you "don't get it". It means you're intelligent.
It is a psychological drama - or melodrama, especially in Asuka's case - filled to bursting with Issues. It's a portrait of a crapsack world with messed up human beings, and if it wasn't, I'd think it was just gorn and melodrama... which basically sums up EOE in two words. But I would appreciate it if the characters weren't completely despicable and had redeeming qualities. They don't, not really. At least Remake has toned that down, making the characters more likeable. But the thing is, the big draw for me was that Shinji was so relatable to me, as someone with a form of Autism and a thoroughly hate-spewing view of the world at age 15 (I had frustrations like you wouldn't believe, due to my condition, up until just recently, at age 27). Shinji was me, though I hate that now. When I was 15, it was different. I could relate... and that was bad. I've since grown up a lot, realised some things, found inner peace (more or less) and known happiness. I haven't known love, but we can't have everything. I've developed as a person. Shinji didn't. Asuka devolved. Gendo was still an uncaring asshole. Rei actually became stronger, which was cool. "I am not your doll" was her greatest line ever... except she didn't say it in my country's version. But on the whole... nobody really grew. In fact, if they changed at all, they became darker than their less-than-shiny early-series counterparts.
It's a crapsack world in Evangelion, and that's the point. You could change it, make it more positive in places... but would you still have the same show? Definitely not.
If you want a more positive, less fucked up version, try RahXephon. Don't bother with the series-recap movie, though, is what I've heard. Ayato is... actually pretty normal. The people are more or less clearly goodguys. It's a LOT nicer... which isn't to say it doesn't have strangeness and buckets of blood in areas. Those Dolems seem to burst into blood on a regular basis. But it's still a far more positive, WAY less FUBAR nod to Evangelion.