End of my Rope...

[RocksW]

And in all honesty, my ex is a damn decent guy. He stuck by me when I was dealing with shit that would chase any other guy away, and when I started to second guess myself when it came to college, he convinced me that I needed to go somewhere that wasn't the local community college. So he is a really great guy, I'm just afraid that I inadvertently pushed him away without meaning to.

First of all im really sorry, it sounds totally awful. It'll feel like the bottom has dropped out of your life for a while, and thats horrible, but it wont last. Talk to someone in real life that you can trust but if you cant find anyone go and call a GP, and make an appointment to talk to someone there. that might be better actually, even if you dont think you need it you've nothing to lose except the cost.

Dont beat yourself up, and cut off contact with him if you can. Its harder than it sounds, when I tried it I ended up calling the person in question within two weeks, I justified it to myself somehow and tried to sound cool and OK and ended up losing it and shouting at them, spilling my guts about how jealous I felt, and how much i wanted things like they were, how I wished he whould just fuck off and get out of the picture. When it was all over i just felt totally spent, humiliated and embarrassed. She wont ever call back now.

I bottled it up thats why, and you cant afford to do that for a second. I can relate, its a total ***** when someone you knew, loved, and was part of the skeleton of your life just goes. You feel totally empty. I hope it works out for you anyway. good luck.

:]