Epic fail flirting stories

[SomeBritishDude]

Seen on Top Gear. James May to two women:

"Hello"

You have to fully appreciate how terrible it was.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpp2VKhVxgs

Remember: you have to start with "Hello"

That's about the creepiest greeting I have ever seen.

I was at a party and a girl was lying next to me on the sofa. Here's a tip. Don't let your first words be "I can see right up your dress."

 

[Antlers]

I'd find lots of these endearing.

This sounds like I'm making it up, but I swear I'm not. I was in work stacking those Mariokart Wii boxes (we had a display case thing) and someone came over and said he'd be Mario to my Princess Peach.

We're now married.

I am of course joking.

(About the marriage, not the pick-up line)

 

[Crimsane]

Hitting on a girl in a bar when I was much younger, only for the bartender to quickly interrupt and tell me I'm wasting my time since she doesn't speak English. Also, her boyfriend was in the bathroom.

 

[Kazturkey]

Hitting on my friends 15 year old sister once, in my defence I was a tad drunk and she was wearing a lot of makeup.

She has to be 18 by now though right? Or just move to Canada with her lolz

Here in Ireland 17 is legal! Giggety Giggety...

 

[Antlers]

Kazturkey you're Irish too... I bet I know you. Good old tiny Ireland.

 

[Kharnac]

Seen on Top Gear. James May to two women:

"Hello"

You have to watch it to fully appreciate how terrible it was.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpp2VKhVxgs

Remember: you have to start with "Hello"

this is made of purified win, and tops anything i could say here =P

 

[historybuff]

Awww, these are great.

I'm kind of an idiot when it comes to flirting. I never realize it unless it's very, very obvious.

 

[similar.squirrel]

Kazturkey you're Irish too... I bet I know you. Good old tiny Ireland.

And my axe!
I mean..um..

OT: My drunken excuses for flirtation in the past have all come across as apparent assertions of my flamboyant homosexuality. Complimenting shoes and so forth.
I don't bother with it. Need decent looks to pull that sort of thing off.

 

[RanD00M]

I´m way to shy to flirt with girls.Casual conversations are no problems.

Just trying to flirt gets me all nervous.

 

[SimuLord]

Flirting with a girl a few hours after I'd eaten a big plate of beans. Failarity ensues.

 

[InvisibleMilk]

I was cursed with rosy, blushed cheeks and a sorta high pitched voice (Truly a lesbian in a man's body.) So everytime I hit on a girl or if I hang out with them they think I'm gay.

I'm 15 and male.
WTF>.<

 

[Duskwaith]

Kazturkey you're Irish too... I bet I know you. Good old tiny Ireland.

Thats the danger of here its so small you can bump into most escapists.

OT: I walked up to a girl who was extremly gorgeous then said "hello" before the convo broke down and i felt like a idiot

 

[NotAPie]

I once used the term: "You make me want to stop watching porn" as a pickup line....and sadly, no i am not kidding.

Least its funny, Saying "Hey I lost my number, Can I have yours?" will get you not even a giggle, but then again I have bad luck.

 

[GamerPhate]

Did I say that Canada was a redneck state? No... but it is legal to date chicks that are 16 there.. that is all I was saying. And I may be wrong, but it might be 15 =0

 

[Cairo]

I was in a burger joint when I saw the girl behind the counter boppin' her head to something on the radio. I was moving my head a little, too, and when she asked what I wanted she TURNED OUT TO BE A DUDE.
Yes, I did, immediately, cease my nodding.

 

[Xorghul]

Walking over to a girl and getting hit in the face with a football halfway there.

Ah. That must have looked hilarious...
And the football kicker definitely did it on purpose.

 

[KaiRai]

On my friends 18th at a club in the town centre of where I live, I was chatting to this really hot girl, another friend had invited her along. Anyway we were getting pretty deep into, I got her number etc, then I went for a drink and there is my friend (Who invited her) giving me a fairly evil look, and then the girl I was chatting to, who was 23, said "Are you 16? Sammie said you are...."

Damnit. That's the biggest epic fail I have, except when you go up to a girl in a club, totally cased, and just go "Heeeey" and they tweak you're a fair bit intoxicated and just walk off...

EDIT: In her defence though, I was actually 16 at the time, and got into the club on pure fluke of not being ID'd, being an unnaturally advanced adolescent and having a beard that looked like a brown axminster on my face. I got pretty close though

 

[Get Jiggy]

Hitting on my friends 15 year old sister once, in my defence I was a tad drunk and she was wearing a lot of makeup.

How old were you at the time though?

 

[AkJay]

Uhm.. i don't really flirt. I talk to them, with a smile on my face, well.. someone would call it a smile.

 

[ScarlettRage]

I'll get better songs, there's a song for pretty much every girl's name out there so I can personalise them.

Now THAT is a plan. Or you can save time and learn "Brown eyed girl" by Van Morrison as that covers a lot more people.

I'll do that too, but knowing my luck none I meet will have brown eyes.

mine are brown lol

can anyone think of a song that has Emily in it?
my bf is wondering so he can sing it next time i drag him to a karaoke bar

EDIT: i think its suppose to be some sort of revenge, but im also curious