Escape to the Movies: Clash of the Titans

[DSaB]

I don't know what anyone else thinks, but between movie bob and metacritic I?m just not wanting to watch as many movies anymore. I mean I really like movie bobs reviews, they're informative and you can tell he knows his shiz but especially with a review like this (where the film seems a resounding "meh") I end up feeling, "hmm naaa i don't think I?ll bother" whereas before I?d probably go see it to make up my own opinion. Same goes for metacritics score for stuff, which can put me off something i end up finding out i like enough to warrant giving it a look.

I think I?ll start to ignore reviews.

 

[joeychuckles]

Just saw it in 3D. I expected it to be bad, but in a good way -yet this surpassed my expectations of awfulness. The 3D actually FEELS like it was a last minute decision - it's flat and weird, it goes wonky and wrong in some scenes, and it looks. . .well, bad. Choppy, short, and nonsensical scenes barely string together a very, VERY loose "narrative." Decisions don't matter, characters don't matter, there is NO depth to any of the people in this film, and no effort is made to make the audience feel connected to the people on screen.

At one point, Perseus is in a lush forest. Then (presumably because someone thought it would look cool) he falls down an enormous, steep hill that was simply not there a few seconds before. He stands up in the desert, with no sign of the forest he was just in. The whole movie is like this - it's like someone just listed things they thought were cool and then filmed them in the order they thought of them. It's a big, big mess.

And just to reenforce a point that was made elsewhere - there's nothing in this film that hasn't been done in videogame cutscenes, and better. Bottom line: save your money for Hot Tub Time Machine, where your laughter will not be angry, desperate, and bitter at the cash you just dumped for this turkey.

 

[craftyandy]

think i rather see how to train your dragon again. You know cause I like story.

 

[DreamingMerc]

MovieBob could not be more right about this movie. It's fun at times and the in between parts aren't so much bad as underdeveloped. Matinee movie of the week for me really.

 

[Neverbackdown]

Clash of the Titans was so good! Me and my bro around christmas time, saw a preview for it and we made a joke about it because at the end of it, zues says "Release the cracken". So we make a joke about it and call it the cracker movie. When we saw and early release of it about 2 days ago. Our mindset changed completely about how awesome it was. This is a MUST see movie. Go see it!

 

[EmmerikXXII]

I agree entirely with this review, save for the fact that I was a huge fan of the original, more so than Movie Bob it would seem. Therefore, this remake lets me down a lot. Sad face.

 

[Srkkl]

One great reason why this remake was better than the original. Liam Neeson as Zeus, thats it, thats all I need to like it more.

Edit: Also I'm suprised you didn't mention the Robot Owl cameo, that was really funny.

 

[sbrff]

Huh, I would not have seen the movie as militant Atheism, but more like a God of War rip off.

gow rip off? xD
keep in mind that this is a remake of a 1981 movie!
and just because they bouth are in greek mythology dosn`t mean it is a rip off!!!
As mutch as i love GOW if anything gow copyed this! =P

 

[neutrinoide]

How can it be militant Atheist?. Atheist is not believing in the concept of GOD. And NOT be or agains or hate GOD. By fuck sake learn some basic logic.

Militant atheists would be someone agains the peoples forcing religious believes.

 

[Lazarus Long]

I would love to sit in on a game of D&D (or Hero Quest) run by Chris Hitchens. Sounds like a blast. As for the movie, I was thoroughly "meh" with a side of "oh Crom, no shaky-cam please" before. Nothing has changed. I might watch it if it ever happens to be on my TV and I can't reach the remote.

 

[Insideout Ink Demon]

Good review. Think I'll wait until the blu ray release.
That said, I'm going to see if I can find the original on Play for some nostalgia

 

[teutonicman]

Great review. Don't think I'll see this one.

Wise choice, this movie is made of suck.

 

[TheEnglishman]

I loved the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factor, and was one of the guys saying Depp wouldn't live up to the original. But I loved it, it felt so fresh and surreal, I feel it was the better film.

Anyway, thanks for the advice, it's half term over here and I'll probably watch it soon.

 

[Arcane Azmadi]

Great review, Bob. I had a feeling you would more or less like the film but still prefer the original, although I honestly expected you to like the original more than you did. I guess your understanding of the power of the rose-tinted nostalgia lenses stands you in good stead as a reviewer.

Of course to me, an entire movie of CG scorpions, gorgons and kraken doesn't add up to a single scene from the original.
If you know anything about stop-motion animation, the amount of effort and detail that Ray Harryhausen put into the Medusa scene is absolutely mind-blowing. It may not look like that much today, but consider this- Medusa is a stop motion figure. The rest of the scene, including the torches, is live action. Despite this, Medusa has 100% accurate highlights and shadows cast on her by the flickering torchlight!

That is why Ray Harryhausen is the greatest genius in the history of cinema special effects. Because he fucking WORKED for his results!

First off let me just say MovieBob, I love the fact you even mentioned other Harryhausen films and yes Jason and the Argonauts and the Seventh Voyage of Sinbad are his best!

Whoa, you think so? I always though 'Golden Voyage of Sinbad' was the best, and I'm SURE you know why. 6-armed statue fight, man! Dance, Kali, dance for me!

What I would like to know is when it became standard practise for gorgons like Medusa to be portrayed with serpentine lower-halfs instead of legs. They're not lamias or nagas. Whenever Medusa, Euryale or Stheno are portrayed they had human bodies, just with added wings and a head with tusks and snake-hair. Yet now if its a gorgon it has to be snake from the waist down as well as the hairdo

Probably because if they were portrayed with humanoid lower halfs that would, by giving them bare female legs (even if scaled), sexualise them to a level which would hamper their effectiveness as "monsters". Even if they wore skirts (which would look stupid), it would still make them too feminine and no matter how ugly they were it'd unavoidably fetishise them. Not really much of a choice there, unfortunately.

But hey, that aside, you want to see my pick for the best modern interpretation of Medusa?

Spoiler

 

[teutonicman]

Great review. Don't think I'll see this one.

Wise choice, this movie is made of suck.

When did you see it?

Opening night, 2 hours pissed away. *sigh*

 

[EchetusXe]

Nothing really in the way of 'militant atheism' in a movie where men go to war with the gods, seen as if they were atheists they wouldn't believe in gods in the first place.

Other than that a fair review.

 

[Falseprophet]

Biggest reason I got into and continue to inhabit the whole Japanese anime and videogame fandom is that at least they aren't that stupid about the religions they make stories out of. There's an even chance that they'll at least have a knowledge of the nature of man, or woman, or even deity.

I totally agree that Hollywood has no understanding of religious beliefs, including atheism. Nor do they seem to understand how faith works, or reason or logic or science for that matter. Hollywood seems to think that a) any atheist will become a believer if some positive thing happens that could easily be explained by non-divine means, and b) the faith of a religious person can be easily changed or shattered by a personal tragedy or the revelation of a single piece of ambiguous evidence. Both views are frankly insulting.

But anime/manga? On the whole, they're even more ignorant of Western religious practices than Hollywood. We're talking about series where Catholic nuns regularly have love interests and Christian "sorcerers" make crosses of fire spring up from the ground. Though I must admit after decades of seeing Western culture fetishize Eastern mysticism and "real ultimate power" ninjas, seeing anime characters bemoan the "evil Christian sorcery" their enemies were using had me rolling on the floor laughing. Even the grandfather of modern manga,Osamu Tezuka, and a genuinely intelligent guy, once represented some Jewish characters going to temple similar to a Catholic Mass. (The translator had to make a note that Tezuka did this out of ignorance, not intending any cultural insensitivity.)

There are exceptions, just like you occasionally find the Hollywood movie that gets religion or atheism right. But it's not common in manga/anime by any means.

 

[teutonicman]

Great review. Don't think I'll see this one.

Wise choice, this movie is made of suck.

When did you see it?

Opening night, 2 hours pissed away. *sigh*

On a scale of 1-10 how terrible is it? 1 being terrible 10 being good.

4, yeah definitely 4. The plot was understandable yet boring. I had 0 sympathy for any of the characters. Normally I can at least tolerate that, however with having 0 sympathy the action scenes lost all tension or drama.